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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 28, 2008 3:59:29 GMT
"Im gonna miss you to you.." I said quietly back to her, feeling slightly better now that she's said that to me. "... You don't have to go.." I said to her wondiring if either of the things I said would make a difference, knowing that they wouldn't anyway though.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 28, 2008 4:03:05 GMT
"No, I still do," I say immediately, shaking my head and looking down at the ground with my hands in my pockets. "I... just have to." But I love you, really do.
I swallow those last words just in the nick of time, before they can slip out. I don't want them to be misinterpreted.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 28, 2008 4:11:45 GMT
I nodded slgihtly, biting my bottom lip for a moment after she answered. I let out a small sigh and hugged her again a moment later, kissing the side of her cheek lightly first, "Love you, Arden.." I said quietly to her once I was hugging her again.
I didn't want that to get misinterpreted, but even if it did, I wasn't sure if I minded or not. I basically did love her, so mide as well just get it out there. But more so, the reason I said it was because I knew that I did love her in a certain way.. I was just unsure if the other way was true or not too.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 28, 2008 4:21:09 GMT
I don't hug him back this time, biting the inside of my cheek at his words and the kiss. I guess I shouldn't have bothered getting worried - now I'm the one who gets to possibly misinterpret what's going on.
"... Love you too," I shrug after a moment, since there's really no other response.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 28, 2008 4:26:37 GMT
She said it back to me a moment later and I nodded slightly, wondering if she meant it in the same way I did.. actually, now that I was thinking about it, I didn't even know how I meant it myself.
I pulled away a few moments later with a small sigh, giving her another weak sort of half smile, not wanting her to leave, wondering if there's anything I could o to get her to stay abit longer.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 28, 2008 4:29:39 GMT
This is going to bother me now, wondering what the hell he meant. But, then again, it was already going to bother me wondering how I really feel. That's one of the reasons I'm leaving. So really nothing's changed.
I smile weakly back, really hating this part - the part where one of us has to walk away first. We've never been very good at it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 28, 2008 4:34:15 GMT
I bit my lip a little bit and a moment or two later decided that this was going to bother me. Not knowing exactlly what she meant by it and knowing that I was bascially doing the same thing to her when I said it outloud. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was thinking the same thing I was.
I knew I shouldn't do this again, but I knowing I wasn't going to be able to once she got back, actually I really shouldn't be able to right now, but for some reason I decided that I just didn't really care right now. I assumed that whatever was going on would be covered pretty nicely by the time she got back if she had anything to say about it. So, having thought that, I leaned down slightly more and kissed her lightly on the lips for a moment, a hand resting on the side of her neck. I pulled away after a few seconds and paused for a second or two. ".. sorry." I mumbled, not too quietly, but not really in a normal voice, shaking my head faintly. "I know I shouldn't've done that..."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 29, 2008 2:12:06 GMT
I bite the inside of my cheek again, hard enough to actually hurt, clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes shut at the same time - all in an effort to fight against the sudden urge to cry.
"No, you really shouldn't have," I manage once I can finally speak. Once I get that out of the way, however, I actually find myself mad, and very nearly shouting. Now I can remember why I was annoyed with him when I first got here.
"Riley... honestly, just make up your mind and stick with it, will you? But you really can't keep doing this... this is why I'm leaving. I don't want to be messed with anymore; I just want you and Riyann to fix things. So... yeah. Thanks, at the least, for helping me be absolutely certain I should do this."
It feels really weird to speak so sharply, but there's no doubt he deserves it. I turn and start walking away with my arms crossed tightly, shaking my head.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 29, 2008 15:52:04 GMT
I deserved that and I knew that I did, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I flinched slightly when she started yelling and shifted my eyes to the ground, taking in everything she told me. Really. I mean, what was wrong with me? I knew I was going to stay with Riyann regardless, so why was I doing this to Arden? To everyone?
Maybe it was a good thing that she was leaving, now the only thing I was scared of was that because of what I just did, she wasn't going to come and find me when she came back. I didn't want to lose her as a friend and I just kept messing that up. I really don't think that I could be anymore annoyed with myself right now.
She turns to walk away and I didn't know what to do, if I should do anything at all. "You're right... I'm sorry." I said, not knowing if she heard it, but just staying where I was and not stopping her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 29, 2008 17:07:00 GMT
I stop but don't turn around, eventually nodding. "Me too." I shrug, shaking my head, not really sure what I mean by that.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 29, 2008 17:10:08 GMT
I shook my head, watching her stop and hearing what she said. "You have no reason to be sorry.. if that's what you meant." I said, rubing my forehead for a moment. "You've been doing nothing wrong.. I'm the one messing up.." I shook my head faintly again, "I promise I'll never kiss you again." I added a little quieter.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 29, 2008 17:13:48 GMT
I bite my lip again, looking down at the ground even though I'm still facing away from him, and shrug. "We've both messed up... but yeah. I'm not going to say you haven't messed up more." I turn and look at him now, shrugging apologetically. "I'm... going to go now."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 29, 2008 17:18:46 GMT
"Yeah, cause I have messed up more." I said with a small nod. I sighed slightly and nodded, looking back at her, actually feeling my eyes tear up a bit, but I just bit my lip and pushed them away.
"Yeah... see you." I said with a small nod, glancing ot the ground for a moment before up to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 29, 2008 17:22:20 GMT
Eventually.
I nod again, smiling very faintly, and start to walk away again.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 29, 2008 17:24:09 GMT
I nodded slightly, watching her smile faintly and then as she started to walk away. I kept my eyes on her for a little while before looking to the ground and around my surroundings. A moment or two later, I just turned around and started walking in the opposite direction.
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