Leaving Again;;Riley

[Riyann Servansikk]

"Yeah I am." I said softly, biting my lip a little. "Biggest idiot there ever was." I added with a small sigh, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I really was an idiot to try leaving him again, even if that's all it took to get his memory back. "I'm sorry Riley." I whispered, giving him a weak smile.

[Riley Pearson]

I sighed a little, watching her wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. True, I didn't think it was the best idea to try and leave me again, but she did come back and she stayed when I asked her to. I just shook my head a little bit and pulled her into a hug, giving her a weak smile back.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I felt him pull me into a hug and sat there for a brief moment before hugging him back a little tighter. I was definitely the biggest idiot for leaving him again. "God, I love you Riley." I whispered, moving a hand to wipe my eyes again.

[Riley Pearson]

I closed my eyes lightly for a moment, feeling her hug me back tightly and nodded slgihtly, "I love you too." I whispered back to her.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I heard him say he loved me too this time and smiled faintly before moving my head against his shoulder. Everything could have been normal again had I not been stupid and done all of this. I should have just started unpacking when he told me he remembered me, when he said he remembered the girls. I am an idiot.

[Riley Pearson]

She moved her head against my shoulder and I kept hugging her tightly. I wanted everything to be normal again, but I didn't know what the girls were gonna do. I think that Ella'd be okay, but I wasn't sure about Charlotte.

[Riyann Servansikk]

As he hugged me, he never loosened his arms and I felt a little better about that, still thinking about everything from I'm an idiot, to Riley and the girls. "We're pregnant." I whispered, realizing I hadn't actually told him that we were pregnant for sure.

[Riley Pearson]

I pulled away a little bit after she said we were pregnant, slightly surprised. I wasn't sure how, but i somehow forgot that she said she might be. "For sure?" I asked looking in her eyes, probably for the longest i had in a day.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I looked back and locked my eyes with his as well and nodded. "Yeah." I whispered softly, biting against my lip and wondering how he was taking it. The first time I had told him I might be wasn't exactly what I'd been looking for, then again it wasn't like he remembered us when that happened. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be pregnant. I told Shelby I didn't, but I could keep that secret to myself now.

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled a little bit and pulled her into another hug, not exactly sure how to feel about it. But I wasn't mad or really upset about it... I was kind of happy actually, it was just still sort of shock to me for some reason.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I smiled weakly when I saw his smile and hugged him back after being pulled into his arms for another hug again. I didn't know what to say so I kept my mouth shut.

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled as I hugged her before letting out a small chuckle. "So much for peace and quiet..." I mumbled lightly.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I laughed softly, pretty sure I knew what he was talking about and just relaxed a little into the hug with a small smile. "Yeah." I whispered softly.

[Riley Pearson]

I felt her relax in my arms a little more and smiled slightly. But even though I was happy that we seemed to be okay, I was still sort of scared that she was going to try and leave me again. She promised she wouldn't so long ago and then she tried. I wasn't sure what to think about it anymore.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Promises were meant to be broken. It was what was going through my head at the moment. I had promised I wouldn't leave him again, that he'd have to be the one to leave. Promises were meant to be broken, but I didn't worry about that and hugged him a little tighter. We were pregnant again.

[Riley Pearson]

I took in a small breath, letting it out as I hugged her, she hugged me a little tighter and I hugged her the same way back with a small smile. I was trying to overlook that she tried to leave, but it was even more difficult to get past the fact that she didn't trust me. If anybody shouldn't be trusted I kind of thought it was her, even though I didn't want to say that aloud and felt bad even thinking it.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I couldn't even think of a way to appologize again, not without sounding more than pathetic, and I was already half way there. So I just continued to hug him and stay silent, hoping more than anything the girls wouldn't hate me, though I could actually see that happening, especially since Riley said Char didn't believe him when he said I loved her. Thinking about that made a few more tears come to my eyes, but I ignored them and hid them from Riley.

[Riley Pearson]

I wasn't sure if I should bring any of this up now and once thinking about it, decided not to. All that would happen is I would say something wrong and she'd get upset again. I didn't want that to happen. But i was wondering what the girls would do if they saw she was home and how they would act around her.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I kept silent and stopped myself from crying. After a while it really did seem stupid, Riley probably thought I was just as pathetic because I was the one that left, wasn't I? And now I'm crying about it? Even if it was all misunderstanding on both of our parts. Really big misunderstanding. I could almost guess that things weren't going to get better just so fast or at the moment. Still had the twins factoring in on this whole ordeal.

[Riley Pearson]

I pulled slightly out of the hug, looking back at her, seeing a stray tear on her cheek even though she wasn't crying at the moment and wiped it away. "Everything'll be fine." I said quietly, hoping that it would be since I wasn't for sure anymore.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I just nodded, listening to what he said. After all, it was usually when I didn't listen to him that things got messed up again. Like being a spy for Shelby and then dying a little less than a month before we were going to get married, and so many other things. Still, I didn't know if I should believe him, which was a little unfair because I knew I trusted and believed Riley more than anything.

[Riley Pearson]

I didn't know if she believed me, even though i saw her nod to what I said. Like she said earlier, how could she trust me? Even though I really don't see how she couldn't.. I haven't done half the things that she has and I wondered if it had been the other way around if we would still be togheter. But I just nodded a little anyway.

[Riyann Servansikk]

[[Nope, Riyann would have been a total bitch and been all Argh I hate you.. lol ^^]]

When I asked how I could trust him I was so confused on everything and hadn't really meant it that way. Just how did I know it wasn't a stupid way of trying to keep me here so he wasn't alone. Which was stupid on my part because he still didn't think I trusted him because of that. Wouldn't I be the least trustworthy? I left him, cheated on him, got an abortion, fell in love with his cousin. Yeah, that's a little much and I've always wondered how he could still love, even after trying to leave again.

[Riley Pearson]

[[ lmao, that's waht i was thinking xD ]]

"Do you trust me?" I asked her agian, almost not even noticeing that I asked her. Then I was hoping that if she answered she wouldn't ask me back. I wasn't sure anymore. I think I still did, so that would most likely be my answer, but I didn't know how many more things I could lookover.

[Riyann Servansikk]

"Yeah." I whispered, afraid that I had to hide more things from him, what if just telling him that I still loved Shell, what if that made it finally over between us? Or after that what if I told him I was kissing her again, would that make it over? What if I told him that I'd spent the night with her, had sex went skinny dipping and all of that the night Jay died. Shit, did he even know about Jay? "R-Riley." I whispered, looking up at him. I didn't want to be the one to tell him if he didn't know, but who would?

[Riley Pearson]

I felt a little better when she said that she did and smiled a little bit. "thanks.." I said quietly looking at her, still trying to think to myself if I could forgive her for something else, or anything else. I wanted to say that I could, but it was hard to think she could still do something else to me. What else was left?
she said my name again and I looked back at her, wondering what was wrong. "Yeah?"

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded a little when he said thanks, biting against my lower lip. I was more than sure now that he didn't have an idea about Jay and I didn't want to tell him anymore. "Jay." I whispered, pausing for a moment and realizing that probably wasn't really good. I mean, while we were on the topic of trust it probably could come up to him as I cheated with Jay. I looked into his eyes and shook my head softly, biting at my lip. "Riley, Jay's dead." Nice way to come out and say it, huh.

[Riley Pearson]

I heard her whisper Jay and got confused. What about Jay? Even though I hated to think it, the first thing that came to my mind was she cheated on me with him, not exactly what I would call the definition of trust. I guess I didn't trust her as much as I thought I did. but then I just shook my head a little, wanting her to finsih her sentance. I heard what she told me and just shook my head. "W-What? When did this happen?" I asked feeling a small knot in my throat, feeling bad for thinking about what I first did. I had no idea Jay died.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I bit down on my quivering lip, watching him carefully. "He and S-Shell were getting a divorce and he had a car accident." I said softly. "Uhm, I dunno, a week ago." I whispered, wondering why now I hadn't told him when he still had amnesia. I shook my head softly, biting at my lip again.

[Riley Pearson]

I just shook my head slightly again, having a hard time beliving this for some reason. Jay was pretty much one of my only guy friends and I didn't want to think this really happend. I rubbed my head slightly. A week was a long time, how had I not heard about this?