Leaving Again;;Riley

[Riyann Servansikk]

I just nodded my head lightly, feeling a few tears fall from my eyes. As much as I wanted to, I didn't want to, but I wanted to know how he got his memory back and why this was all so messed up suddenly. "I-I love you." I whispered under my breath, keeping my eyes to the floor, not expecting him to say it back as I pulled my hand away from his, set my bags down and started to walk to our bedroom.

[Riley Pearson]

I opened my eyes as she pulled her hand away, thinking she was leaving and then seeing her set her bags down and letting out a small breath that I had been holding in. She told me she loved me again and I stayed quiet, wanting to say it so badly and at the same time not.
"I love you too..." I said quietly, not sure if she heard me or not and locked the front door, unsure of what to do with myself, and wondering where I should go, thinking that maybe out on the couch would be best.

[Riyann Servansikk]

It wouldn't exactly be fair if I went and took our bed and he stayed on the couch, if that's how he wanted it, us sleeping in different places. I didn't hear him say anything back but I didn't let that get me down as I pushed lightly on the door and started quietly into the room, seeing the twins laying on the bed together and moved over to them, kissing both of them softly on the top of their heads.
It wouldn't be fair to any of us if I stayed in here, so I grabbed a spare blanket and a pillow.

Turning back around I made my way to the living room, and spread out across the couch, covering myself up in the blanket before curling into my usual ball with a small sigh.

[Riley Pearson]

I saw her come back into the living room a moment later with a blanket and pillow and before I could say anything she layed down on the couch and covered herself with the blanket as she curled into a small ball. I kept my eyes on her for another moment. "You.. Y-You don't have to sleep out here..." I said quietly, having trouble keeping eye contact with her for some reason. "I-I was gonna..."

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shut my eyes when he started speaking, studdering or at a loss of words. "I'm fine out here." I said softly, pulling the blanket a little closer to my body. "I was the one that did all this Riley, I'm fine here." I added in a whisper. I really did love him more than anything and I knew I was being stupid for starting to leave him, for getting damn divorce papers incase we needed them, for a lot of things. I was just stupid and idiotic.

[Riley Pearson]

"Okay.." I said quietly with a small nod when she said she was fine staying out here. I paused for a moment wondering what to do again. Should I go to bed? Or should I try and talk to her? Or maybe that should just wait until morning.. I had no idea. "Um.." I bit my lip slightly. ".. Night." I said quietly glancing at her again, once again battling with myself as to whether or not to say I love you. Maybe she heard it earlier, but maybe she didn't. And I didn't want her to change her mind and leave in the middle of the night. "Love you.." I said silently, before turning around, heading toward our room where the girls were still asleep.

[Riyann Servansikk]

"Night," I whispered back, feeling a couple of tears fill up into my eyes, but I held them back for now. I was still having troubles falling asleep, but I kept my eyes shut and slowed my breathing down incase Riley was still there and watching me, hearing him say he loved me, but I didn't do anything about it this time.

[Riley Pearson]

I wiped a few tears from my face and walked back down the hallway after she didn't say anything back after I told her that I loved her. I quietly went back into our room, looking at the girls for a moment before laying back down on the bed and trying to fall back asleep.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I knew that I was being a bitch to him still, but not as much at least, he had to know that, but I had told him the other times that I loved him and I hadn't gotten a response, so why should it be any different for him Because I love him, maybe. I thought, contradicting myself and sighed softly before falling into a rough sleep.

[Riley Pearson]

I laid there for nearly an hour unable to fall asleep, just thinking. Trying to think of why Riyann was doing this. Why she wanted to leave just when things started to get better. My mind went back and forth to different possibiliites as I watched the girls sleep, until i finally fell asleep myself; unsure of the time when I finally did.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I woke up what felt like five minutes later, but was really a few hours, sunlight coming in through the windows as I opened my eyes to take notice. Laying there I began to think about what I was going to do. Surely the girls were going to either be mad at me or hate me and I didn't want that. I was so tired right now though and my thoughts became of sleep instead and I started falling asleep, not actually worried about what was happening or going to happen.

[Riley Pearson]

I couldn't sleep and merely a few hours later I was already in the kitchen. Last I checked the girls were still asleep and having not slept much, I had my glasses on instead of my contacts. I had some water on to boil and hearing it go off, took it off the stove and poured it into a mug making some tea.
While the tea bag was soaking in the water, I looked around the kitchen, starting to make some pancakes. It took my mind off things and even though I wasn't hungry myself, maybe the girls would be... whenever they acutally got up that was.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I woke up with a start, not only hearing noises, but smelling pancakes, willing myself to stay where I was on the couch. I sighed softly, shutting my eyes lightly again. Things were definitely screwed up if you couldn't figure out what to do in your own home and I made another attempt at falling into a horrible and unrelaxing sleep.

[Riley Pearson]

I tried to stay quiet as I made the pancakes, making a few different shapes and different animals in hopes of cheering up the girls a little bit. I hated seeing them like this... even though I doubted pancakes would really be fixing things for them.
I didn't want to wake up Riyann, who I assumed was still asleep on the couch and now that the pancakes were done, I cleaned everything with magic and put it away silently before sitting up on the counter, drinking some more of my tea, heating it up with my wand seeing as it was getting cold.

[Riyann Servansikk]

The made attempt didn't work and I only heard more noises of Riley quietly working around the kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I liked knowing he remembered everything, but I think things were easier before, as much as I thought I was stressed by it all.

Letting a soft groan from my lips I stretched from where I was laying and then got up off the couch, feeling dirty because I hadn't showered since yesturday, and because I had slept in my clothes from the day before. Biting my lip I went back to the front door where all my things were packed away and got out tank top and some jeans to wear and the rest of my things to go shower and moved silently to the bathroom and showered fast.

[Riley Pearson]

I sat there on the counter, already dressed and showered just minus the contacts like usual. I took another sip of my newly warmed tea, hearing Riyann get off the couch from where I was, tensing slgihtly until I heard a bag open and her walking down the hallway. Most likely to the bathroom to shower. Sure enough a moment or two later, the shower went on and I took another sip of my tea trying to figure out what to do when or if she finally came in here.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I finished my shower and got out and dressed before stretching a little more again. Looking into the mirror I almost laughed at how pathtic I looked. Tired, worn, puffy eyed from crying, and absolutly sad. I ignored how I looked, not like I was showing someone up or trying to look nice. No, I was confused. I left the bathroom and went right back to my couch, not sure how to face my own husband.

[Riley Pearson]

I heard the shower off and a moment later, heard more footsteps. I was half expecting her to come into the kitchen, but when she didn't I assumed she was sitting on the couch again. I didn't think she was going to come in here at the moment so I instead of waiting like I had been doing I bit my lip and moved off the counter silently before walking in the living room with my tea, sitting down in a chair and distancing myself from her. "Morning.." I said quietly glancing to her for a moment.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I looked up from where I was sitting in the corner of the couch, wrapped up tight in the blanket, startled when I heard his voice, mad that I hadn't heard him walkin and sit down. "Morning." I said softly, looking at the floor with a small sigh. I made this happen so I guess I was going to have to deal with it. Hopefully Riley could if I could seeing as I really doubt not being able to face him in the morning was the only thing that would be happening to us.

[Riley Pearson]

She looked up at me, saying morning a moment later and I nodded a little bit, feeling like our relationship was falling apart as I sat there. I wasn't sure of what to do now and now that I was in here I really didn't know what to do or say. I should've thought this more through.
"So.." I started looking down into my tea. "... Why's this happening?" I asked as I kept my eyes on the floors and my tea, not looking up to her yet.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Silence just fell over us again until he spoke up and I risked a glance at him. "What exactly?" I asked softly, if he was meaning everything, I couldn't answer. Hell, I didn' know if I coud answer any of it, and I looked back down at the floor again. Why did it matter what had happened? If we really did love eachother wouldn't it just not matter? Or wouldn't we talk everything out and make it better in a shorter amount of time then it was going to take?

[Riley Pearson]

"I mean.." I started slowly and quietly. "I got my memory back yesterday.. and I thought that was why you were leaving me... then you knew I had it back and you still wanted to." I told her quietly glancing up to her again to see her staring at the floor. "I just.. I don't understand."

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head lightly. I had been waiting for him to remember me again and that was not the way I wanted to find out because I couldn't tell if it was really true or not while I was going to leave. "I was o-only wanting to because I was stupid to have wanted to and and I was mad at you." I muttered softly. That sounded only a little pathetic. "B-because you didn't want to see my way or, or because you wanted it to be all about you Riley. It wasn't and it's not." I added, looking up at him as I shook my head lightly, on the verge of crying again.

[Riley Pearson]

I listened to everything she said. "I didn't mean to try and make it all about me.." I said quietly to start off. "That's just how things come out when I feel like I'm losing you." I added with a small shrug. "What do you want Riyann?" I asked looking up at her now, it looking like she was on the verge of tears. "I want you to be happy... even if it means me being miserable." I told her silently, looking down in my tea now.

[Riyann Servansikk]

"I wasn't planning on leaving you for good." I mumbled softly. Not at that moment at least. "Ju-just until things were normal again." I added, moving my hand and wiping my eyes with the back of it as I looked at Riley. "A-and now it's all messed up." I said, shaking my head again before burrying it against my knees so that he wouldn't see me as I started crying. "I don't want to leave." I whispered, not sure if he could hear it.

[Riley Pearson]

I felt a little better hearing this and stood up as she buried her head in her knees. I could tell she was crying, but I didn't think she really wanted me to know. "It doesn't have to be.. and I don't want you to leave.. I want you to stay." I said quietly sitting down next to her.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded against my knees, going into do and listen, believe and agree with whatever Riley says mode and wiped my tears away harshly as I looked up, seeing him next to me. I felt pathetic, like some many other times. I felt voulnerable becase I was crying. I felt scared because, what if he was wrong and evrything really was just going to be messed up again. "I'm a screw up." I muttered, smiling weakly at him as I said that.

[Riley Pearson]

"You shouldn't say that so much." I said quietly. "You think you're one, but I'm still gonna disagree." I told her giving a small smile back. "What happend was.. just a simple misunderunderstanding." I added with a small nod. "If you want it to be okay, I can see past it."
I paused for another moment before smiling a little bit looking over to her. "You know it was actually your bags that made me remember..." I told her quietly.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded a little, staying silent. It could be okay for him, but what about the twins? I just left them last night. I moved a little again and rested my forehead against my knees until I heard him say what mad him remember. "So I'm an idiot in a semi good way." I said softly, looking up a little so it was just my chin on my knees and looked over at Riley.

[Riley Pearson]

I chuckled faintly and shook my head. "You're not an idiot." I told her softly, looking back at her as she looked over at me.