Better off without me;;{{Arden

[Riley Pearson]

I knew that I shouldn't be here right now. Sitting at a bar, drinking... again. This was becoming a bit of a habit actually and I knew that it was terrible and that I shouldn't let this happen, but here I was anyway. Especially after earlier today. I almost think that being here was allowed.. almost.

But I didn't much feel like going home just yet, not after speaking to Rubalyn. I hated running into her.. and talking to her.. and the fact that every time I did speak to her, I was the one who ended up getting even more depressed.. or threatened.. or injured. And I wished that she really would just leave me alone.

Even though I shouldn't be believing anything that woman says, I found myself not being able to stop thinking about them. I was already feeling quite lonely and unloved.. and now I was feeling that even more. What if my children didn't love me? Maybe I really had been leaving them with babysitters too much. Maybe I should be spending more time with them. If they would even want to spend time with me now.

And on top of my kids.. and everyone else that didn't seem to want me, Fitzy's told me only a few days ago that Arden was back with Logan. I guess it could have been expected, but that didn't mean I was happy about it.
She didn't want me. That's fine, it was up to her, but I didn't want her with him. I knew that she loved him and he supposedly loves her, but I don't want her getting hurt.. or injured.. or killed.
So maybe the reason why I was now taking a drink from my third bottle firewhiskey was a mix between my new found depression and the fact that I was quite worried.

I hated this and right now I think I was close to hating myself at the moment too. It seemed I was doing everything wrong lately anyway, so why not drink now? And actually, at this rate, was starting to think that everybody would be better without me.

[Arden Patricks]

I'm not really sure why I'm here, of all places. But I needed to get out of the house and go somewhere new, somewhere I don't normally... so this certainly fits. And it's not as bad as some places, at least. Trisha worked here, lived here. It has a friendlier vibe than, say, the Three Broomsticks, where I always seemed to run into someone on the verge of suicide or the like.

Today, I don't want to do that, and I don't want to talk to anybody. I half want to drink / get drunk, though I kind of doubt I will... drink that is; because if I do then I'll almost certainly get drunk, having consumed very little alcohol in my life. So I don't think I'll start now, even if it feels appropriate. Really, I just want to brood, and this seems like a good place to brood in.

We were doing better... I really thought we were. Though, on the other hand, the day that I thought we were doing better must have been after his first encounter with Shelby/Rubalyn, judging by the fact he mentioned her and seemed so strange when he did but then changed the subject. And I am such an idiot, obviously - if not for the fact I didn't press it then at least for the fact I forgave him first and asked questions later.

Shaking my head, I tsk and then sigh at myself, scanning the room for a good table to brood at... and then sigh deeper when I realize there's someone here I recognize. What in the hell are the chances of that?

I debate for a moment the pros and cons of speaking to him despite my desire not to to talk to anyone, but ultimately habit and politeness win out.
"Hey, Riley," I half-sigh, heading toward him.

[Riley Pearson]

After multiple times of coming to places like this, whether it be here or the Three Broomsticks.. or the Hog's Head, I've come to the conclusion that I can't go anywhere without running into someone. After sitting here for so long I figured that I finally broke the endless chain of chance meetings, but when I heard an all too familiar voice calling my name, I realized I couldn't be that lucky.

I didn't really have a problem running into Arden though.. despite how we left things the last time we spoke. And despite that she was back with Logan.

I lifted my head and looked over to her, giving a faint nod. "Hey, Arden," I said attempting a faint smile in her direction before looking back to my now half-empty firewhiskey.

I wasn't really sure what we had to talk about though.. And not to mention she never liked it much when I drank, so I was slightly ashamed to have her see me with three bottles, two of which were empty, infront of me.
I was also sort of wondering why she was here..

[gah.. short -.-]

[Arden Patricks]

"Mm," I nod, since it would be a little strange to say 'hey' back again. I glance at his bottles in disapproval, then shake my head but don't say anything.
And now I've gone and stuck myself here, because I can't just leave it at that and walk away, so I may as well make proper conversation... if I remember how.
"... What are you doing here, Riley?" I ask finally, wearily.

((Not as short as this, so... ))

[Riley Pearson]

[ weee ]

I paused for a few moments and let out a small sigh, shrugging faintly.
"Just.. sitting." I said slightly quietly. "... Drinking, I guess." I added even though I thought that was fairly obvious.
"What about you?" I asked a moment later, looking over to her. "I wouldn't expect to see you here." I commented.

[Arden Patricks]

"No kidding," I mutter, all but rolling my eyes. Then I shrug, hesitating slightly before sitting beside him, and shrugging again. "Needed to get away."
Of course, he doesn't know that Logan's back, so he'll probably just take that as more of my wandering.

[Riley Pearson]

I shrug faintly again, taking another drink as she answered me.
I looked over to her at her answer though, slightly confused. "Getting away?" I asked after a moment. "Logan do something else stupid?" I asked, thinking maybe I shouldn't have said that, but it too late now.

[Arden Patricks]

I frown at him slightly as he contradicts what I was thinking. "Ah... wait, how did you know he was back?"

[Riley Pearson]

"I ran into Fitzy.." I said with a faint nod, glancing over to her again. After another moment, I took another drink and shrugged again.

[Arden Patricks]

"Ah," I nod, wondering how that conversation went and thinking that I probably wouldn't want to hear it. After a pause, I shrug again and answer his original question. "Yes."

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded faintly, wanting more than anything right now to ask her what he did. But I knew that if she was getting away from him, she more than likely didn't really want to talk about it.. or tell me what happened. If she wanted to tell me, she would tell me. If not, I'd probably end up asking her later anyway out of curiosity.
So I held back the question, taking another small drink, before setting down my bottle and looking back over to her, "Are you okay?" I asked, using that question as a replacement for the prior one that had popped into my head. If he did something terrible enough, maybe she would come to her senses and leave him... but I don't think I would say that outloud, at least not at this very moment.

[Arden Patricks]

"Yeah, fine," I shrug, shaking my head dismissively. "It wasn't... you know, anything that big a deal, just... incredibly stupid."
And I wonder if it's a bad sign in itself that I consider infidelity 'not that big a deal.' Probably.

[Riley Pearson]

I raised my eyebrows faintly for a second as I looked over to her. "It's hard to believe that anything he does ends up being not big a deal." I said with a faint sigh. "Plus, it's big enough a deal that you had to get away.." I offered looking over to her again.
Even though she already told me that she was just getting away, I slightly wondered why she decided to get away here. I didn't really think that she drank..

[Arden Patricks]

I sigh faintly, shaking my head, and half-wish I'd ordered something just for something to do with my hands.
"Having to get away doesn't necessarily mean anything...." I shrug. "But fine, since I know you won't give up because you never do... h-he cheated on me, all right?" I swallow hard, hunching my shoulders and staring down at my hands.

[Riley Pearson]

I shook my head faintly, I wasn't pushing it this time.. She could've not told me and it would've been fine. Though, I guess that usually doesn't work and I guess I probably would've prodded it out of her eventually, if I meant to do it or not.
And I would've told her that she didn't have to tell me if she didn't say what she told me. I paused for a few moments, signaling the bartender to bring her a drink. Even if she didn't drink, I thought she could at least hold the bottle, or something, I dunno. If she didn't drink, I'd just drink it.
I sighed again and shook my head. "Why does that fucking idiot have the right to do this to you?" I asked, knowing I probably should've been a bit more sympathetic. "How is that not a big deal?"

[Arden Patricks]

I glance sideways at him, raising my eyebrows. If I'd thought about it at all, I could've predicted that he'd react like this.
"In case you don't recall, let me just remind you that it would be a bit hypocritical of me not to forgive him."
I'm a little surprised at the appearance of a bottle in front of me, tracing the lip absently before pushing it away - and not toward Riley, as I'm not going to tempt him into drinking any more than he has.

[Riley Pearson]

I guess she had a point there.. like she always did. But I had to admit that I wasn't sure I really cared that she had a point. I'm just guessing, but the situations were probably similar to when we kissed, hopefully he didn't do anything more than that again. Although, really, either way it's cheating, so it's not much better if all he did was kiss someone.
"But you don't have to." I offered, looking over to her again. "All he's doing it hurting you. I think you should get out while you can." I said as I watched her push the bottle away from her and away from me, and I took that as a sign saying that, one, she didn't want it, and two, she didn't want me to have it either. Both of which were pretty much expected.

[Arden Patricks]

"You say that like you have any reason to believe that I want to get out," I say, raising my eyebrows at him briefly before looking back at my hands. "We're fixing it."
And I think I've just pinpointed why it feels like what he did really is worse than what I did - because he's now done it twice. I cheated on him once and he retaliated, but then we wiped the slate clean when we got back together and decided to start over and fix it... and then he cheated again.
Not that I'm going to say any of that to Riley.

[Riley Pearson]

"I wish you did want to get out." I said shaking my head faintly again toward her. "And I think you have enough reasoning for it to be justified." Actually just the fact that she was with him was reason enough.
I took another drink from my bottle. "It sounds like you're fixing it, not him.. he doesn't seem to be doing anything but seeing how much he can get away with."

[Arden Patricks]

Gee, that's news, I think sarcastically at the first bit, getting a little bit annoyed with him.
"Riley, no offense, but please just shut the hell up instead of thinking you know what you're talking about, all right? It's none of your damn business. I'm aware of what you think and I really don't care."

[Riley Pearson]

"I know I don't know the details, but I really don't want you getting hurt anymore, Arden." I said, setting my bottle down on the bar top. "And from my point of view that's all he's been doing." I added, even though I knew that I should just drop this now, I just didn't want to. I knew I wasn't going to get my way and she was probably just doing to get upset with me, but I couldn't see to just bite my tongue and not speak.

[Arden Patricks]

"Of course that's all you see, because that's all you want to see," I mutter irritably. "Look... I appreciate your concern, but I'm really not about to change my mind on this."

[Riley Pearson]

"I know you aren't going to change your mind, but if I wake up one morning and someone tells me you're dead, I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't at least try to talk some sense into you." I said looking over to her, not really liking how I stated that and wishing I hadn't said it at all a moment later.

[Arden Patricks]

"If you wake up one morning and someone tells you I'm I'm dead... you've been spending too much time with Fitzy. It's not going to be because of Logan, all right?" I shake my head, still irritated no matter how genuine his concern is.

[Riley Pearson]

I stayed quiet for a few moments, keeping my eyes over on her, before shaking my head faintly and taking another short drink. "How can you be so certain?" I asked keeping my eyes in front of me now. ".. He is sort of the one who put the idea in my head though."

[Arden Patricks]

"Thought as much," I mutter, shaking my head. "And Logan hasn't hurt me since we were kids. You act like I show up covered in bruises every time I talk to you."

[Riley Pearson]

"Better safe than sorry." I said eventually and sort of quietly as well. "I know he hasn't hurt you.. yet.. but it's inevitable.. At some point you're going to get hurt." I added, looking over to her again. "Whether it be becuase he loses it, or something happens to him, or he does something stupid."

[Arden Patricks]

"Kind of true of life in general, isn't it?" I ask, then shake my head. "Look, it hurt more when he was gone than when he cheated. He hasn't even tortured anyone else, as far as I know, so I doubt he's going to lose it all of a sudden... and if anything happens to him then I'll deal with it. Breaking things off won't exactly eliminate that kind of pain."

[Riley Pearson]

"I guess." I said sort of quietly, staring at my bottle again before finishing it off and setting it next to the other ones. "Please just be careful?" I asked a moment later. I saw the other firewhiskey sitting over by her and away from me.. and I thought about reaching across her to get it. But she'd more than likely stop me.
"No.. dying or anything." I said with a slightly worried look before deciding to just do it and reached across her for the bottle.

[Arden Patricks]

"Got it," I mutter, unable to resist rolling my eyes. "No dying." Then I give him the sort of look that Micheal gets when there's playdoh all over my kitchen and he's pretending he had nothing to do with it. "How many of those've you had?"