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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 20:41:11 GMT
I shake my head slightly, having not much of any clue how I should reply to that. I was getting really sick of talking about this, even though I did bring it up, and I wished that I could've just kept my mouth shut so I didn't say anything. "Maybe he deserved it.. actually the world probably would be better off without him."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 20:47:42 GMT
The fact that I know, deep down, that this is true really doesn't help matters, and it takes most of my willpower right then to bite my tongue and not tell him to fuck off or something similar.
"Maybe so, but please don't say so in the future," I say finally, keeping my voice low. I really don't want to be fighting with him right now.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 20:53:21 GMT
I stayed quiet now, just looking over to her, wanting to know why I couldn't have just kept quiet earlier and talked to her about something completely trivial. ".. Fine."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 20:57:23 GMT
"... Probably my fault anyway," I say after a moment, eyes closed. "I'm the one that brought it up."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 21:01:42 GMT
"But I brought the general conversation up first." I said, shaking my head faintly, "It wasn't you fault." I paused again, rubbing my forehead for another second. "This is what I was talking about earlier. I always mess things up." I added, moving off the wall, and starting to walk again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 21:14:29 GMT
"Riley...." I half sigh, following him. "I agree that you shouldn't've mentioned it, but... well, A you're intoxicated and B you're upset, so I never should have risen to the bait. It was both of our faults and you don't mess everything up."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 21:18:37 GMT
True, I was both of those things, but I still feel like I shoudn't have said them. "I guess, but I don't see those things as much of an excuse." I said as I put my hands in my pockets. ".. I can't think of anything that I haven't." I added with a faint shake of my head.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 21:21:59 GMT
"Well, think of something you have then, and I'll tell you where you're wrong." I shrug slightly.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 21:26:09 GMT
"For one, I went drinking.." I paused for a moment and shrugged faintly, "I've dropped my kids off at babysitters too much.. I keep, bothering you about all of this even though I know the answer that you're going to give me.." I shrugged again. "I don't know.. I just feel like I have, I can't really pinpoint."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 21:29:59 GMT
"Okay, so you're screwing up a little," I concede, thinking it would probably be stupid at this point to deny it. "But that's just now."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 21:35:54 GMT
I nodded slightly, "Exactly." I said sort of quietly with a small sigh. "Just now as opposed to what? What's making now any different from any other time?"
I shrugged. "I feel like I'm stuck like this."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 21:37:01 GMT
"As opposed to your life in general?" I shrug. "You don't think you've always been a screwup, do you?" I ask, pretty sure he does.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 21:37:57 GMT
I shrugged, "In hindsight, most of the time, yeah, I think I probably have been." I said glancing over to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 17, 2009 21:45:30 GMT
"And does it make any difference at all if I don't agree with you or say that from what I've seen everybody is?" I ask.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 17, 2009 21:47:49 GMT
I shrugged a little bit, "A little bit, I guess." I paused for a few moments. "It'd be nice if I could see it that way though."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 1:39:13 GMT
"... Yeah, it would be," I say after moment, nodding. To be honest, I've been there myself... and often still am. I guess that makes me a hypocrite or something similar, but not an entirely bad one, right?
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 1:47:57 GMT
I nodded faintly. "... I was actually feeling a bit better before I ran into Rubalyn." I said, slightly veering off the topic, but still staying on it a bit.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 1:54:03 GMT
I look at him sharply at that, then frown faintly. "Rubalyn? Are you saying she's the reason you're upset like this?" I make a small sound, half-scoffing, half-disgusted, and somewhere in between a snort and derisive laugh. "Now there's a real brilliant idea, listening to her."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 1:56:50 GMT
"Not the complete reason." I said shaking my head a bit, "But she didn't really help." I shrugged, frowning a bit, not really liking the reaction I got from her at all. "I didn't want to listen to her.. She just, I dunno, what she was saying made sense at the time."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 2:00:49 GMT
I scowl a little bit more, shaking my head, and trying to listen to him properly without the new anti-Rubalyn prejudice taking over. "And you still think it makes sense, or is it just that you can't get over it anyway?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 2:02:48 GMT
I shrugged faintly, "Bit of both, I think." I sighed, kicking a small stone away from me. "But it's more than just what she said.. I just don't handle being alone well. She sort of just, made it worse."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 2:10:26 GMT
I bite my lip slightly, sympathetically, and look at the ground a moment. "... Would seem to be her specialty, from what very little I know."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 2:12:23 GMT
"Making things worse, you mean?" I asked, running a hand through my hair before putting it back in my pocket. I know that I didn't much like Shelby, but I really couldn't stand Rubalyn.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 2:14:44 GMT
"Or at least she certainly tries," I shrug. "At least... like I said, from the only two cases I'm aware of. Might not be indicative of what she's like generally, but I got the impression it is."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 2:18:29 GMT
I looked over to her as she was speaking and nodded slightly. "You've probably got the right impression.." I paused again, wondering what the second encounter could have been. Unless she was the one who cheated with Logan again. "She's not who..?" I stopped, figuring maybe she could understand with my explaining any further.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 2:22:04 GMT
I glance at him briefly, then shrug. "Yes," I say simply, assuming I know what he means even if he didn't finish the sentence. "And my, was she lovely about it."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 2:26:47 GMT
I nodded faintly. "Oh, I'm sure she was." I said with a small sigh. "She usually is." I added, thinking about how she was always ready and willing to make me miserable.. and probably everyone she encountered. Like when she threatened to kill me, more than a couple times.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 2:30:27 GMT
I shake my head again, then smile faintly. "Can I ask what the hell that witch said to you?" I ask, meaning 'witch' in the more nasty, muggle, figurative sense rather than the ordinary literal one.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 18, 2009 2:32:37 GMT
I gave a weak sort of smile for a second and shook my head faintly, "Do you mean today?" I asked, trying to recall what she did tell me today.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 18, 2009 2:37:39 GMT
"If today is when she upset you enough to send you drinking, then yes," I say, hoping it's not too nosy of me.
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