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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 22, 2008 3:00:11 GMT
"Did you or did you not kill a Lilian Parker Ms. Servansikk?[/color] "No, well yes, but techn." "So you admit to it." "Let me finish, I didn.."[/i]
Shutting my eyes lightly I let the auror's lead me down one of the corridor's, going further and further into the horrid place.
"And you support the dark mark?" "I'm not finished." I shouted, getting more and more annoyed with this. "Though it says here that you had been a spy during the war ten years ago." "Yes, there, proof that I didn't.." "No one seems to vouch for you this time." "What? No, stop it. I.." I couldn't finish and just stopped with the half answers I was able to get out and sat there in silence, glaring at the person interrogating me.
My arms were held behind my back and I shut my eyes lightly. I didn't belong in this place. I shouldn't be in this place. But I had to, just for the sake of everyone else, because of Lilian.
Watching as they opened the door to the small cage I'd be staying in I dropped my eyes to the ground, feeling eyes on the back of my head. I didn't know how long I was in here for, I didn't know if I'd ever get out, or if it was even worth it to try staying alive. I was told that I'd find out my time within the next week.
Sighing softly I let all of that play over and over in my head. It's been over a week now, close to two now, and I was tired, hungry, and weak. Riley probably thought I was just skipping out on going to see the kids, probably thought I was running again like I always did, like I used to always do. Besides he shouldn't care anymore, we were over, completely over and it was going to be that way forever.
Sitting in the corner I sat curled up in a ball, knees pressed tight against my chest. I hadn't slept in days, I hadn't eaten since I'd gotten here, just because I didn't want to eat.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 22, 2008 3:41:08 GMT
{{ I think I'm too sleepy to think of a reply right now  But I'll hopefully get to it tomorrow!  }} |
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 23, 2008 2:04:55 GMT
[[NINA! POST! lol]]
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 23, 2008 2:15:24 GMT
[[ sorry xD lol ]
It'd been way too long since Riyann had last come here. I didn't know where she was, or if there was something wrong; All I knew was that the girls really wanted to know where she was, and why she wasn't coming around to see them. But it wasn't just the girls that wanted to know where she was, but I did too. I just didn't understand why she wasn't coming around.
At least, I didn't understand until a few hours ago. How was it, I want to know, that my wife.. ex-wife.. could have been put to trial and sentanced and put in Azkaban and I didn't hear about it? Isn't that something important that should've been called to my attention? Didn't Riyann get.. some kind of phonecall? Or floo-call? If one of those even exists, I didn't know, but I think there should be something like that.
Taken, I knew why she was there, she killed my sister and even though I didn't say anything about it to anyone, apparently someone else did and it landed Riyann in Azkaban, which funny enough is really not what I ever would have wanted.
It was a horrible feeling as I walked down the cold and damp corridors of Azkaban. I really didn't know how anyone could stand to be there. Dementors were a bit worse than I think I could have imagined and I really didn't want to be thinking about any of the things that seemed to be popping to my head at the moment while all the good thoughts just floated away as I tried to keep there right where they were.
I came to her cell and stopped infront of it, wondering if she even wanted to see me right now. How would me being here help her at all? Wouldn't I just be making her feel worse?
I really hoped that wasn't the case, but with my luck she wouldn't even want me here.
".. Hi Riyann.." I said quietly as I looked inside the cell to her. She didn't look very good and she definately looked like whoever worked here could have been taking better care of her. If anyone even worked here that wasn't a dementor that is..
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 23, 2008 2:26:59 GMT
[[Eh, I just felt like posting instead of asking if you'd thought of a reply. lmao Tis alright]]
I could feel a few tears fall down my cheeks. For as long as I'd been in here I could barely even keep my own thoughts together or organized, let alone secret. Trying to think about the girl's and I'd only see how they hated me when I left that time Riley had lost his memory. Though they didn't exactly hate me. Then the only memory of Riley that ever really stuck in my mind was the day he said he didn't want to be with me, the day he dropped his wedding ring to the kitchen floor.
Glancing down at my finger I saw my wedding ring. After visiting the twins and dropping off the divorce papers I'd gone back and slipped the ring on my finger, feeling so much more than empty without it. Riley's was still at home though, sitting on the dresser where I'd put it, next to where my ring had been but no longer was. Tears streaked my face as I looked at my finger, as I looked at the ring, and I shut my eyes slightly against a headache I was getting, feeling slightly dizzy with the lack of food, sleep, and the amount of crying. You did too eat that little bit the first few days, thinking that you'd be out in an instant because they had it wrong. That was true, so I hadn't eaten for a week maybe? I think that's what it was.
Moving I let my head rest partially on my one knee and then partially against the wall, the wall that was helping hold me up.
Hearing footsteps and then a voice, I brought my head up fast, filling a wave of nausea pass through me as I did. Hunger strike?
"M'hi." I said softly, blinking my eyes slowly before starting to push myself up into a standing position, leaning against the wall still in support. "Found me." I murmured softly with a faint laugh like it was such a big joke, but it wasn't, just some bland humor that was well needed at the moment.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 23, 2008 2:32:32 GMT
"Found you somewhere that I wish I didn't.." I said quietly back to her as I watched her stand up and lean against the wall. "Someone should've told me you were here.. I would've come sooner.." I told her as I glanced to the floor for a moment. She really did look horrible. She must not have been getting much sleep.. or food for that matter. I really needed to find somebody to complain to here. That'd be helpful.
[blah, short]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 23, 2008 2:41:42 GMT
I nodded faintly, shutting my eyes lightly, feeling like I might fall over any minute and then opened them again and ignored the feeling. "Found me where I probably deserve to be though." I whispered softly, though I thought so for different reasons. Not Lilian. "Why? It's not like we're together anymore." I said, biting my lip after I did say it, wondering if I should continue just leaning up against the wall or not.
The sleep, that was obvious as to why I was lacking in it. The food, I'd started not eating, and they'd taken that as a hint and stopped giving it to me. Really, shouldn't that be smart? Why waste food for a little nobody like me?
Little nobody, that's comforting.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 23, 2008 2:46:00 GMT
"It doesn't matter if you deserve to be here or not.. I don't want you here." I told her, shaking my head a little bit, watching her and wishing I could go help her because she seriously looked like she was about to fall over. I heard her second comment and looked to the floor. "I still care about you Riyann.." I said quietly, And love you... "I don't want you here..."
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 23, 2008 2:56:37 GMT
"I already gave you what you wanted." I said after he said he didn't want me to be here. That wasn't in my control, not in the least, the divorce, that was, and I gave him what he wanted. It was barely a moment after I spoke that I decided it would just be best to slide down the dirt covered wall and sit on the floor, sliding down rather fast that it might look like I wasn't even trying to do it. "I was saying why they wouldn't come find you and personally tell you that I'm here." I said, shutting my eyes slightly tight. I didn't want to hear that he still cared about me, it wasn't going to help, not right now. Not while I was still here. "You don't always get what you want." I murmured as I sat there, shutting my eyes again after I had looked at him for a brief moment.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 23, 2008 4:29:43 GMT
"Can you please try not to focus on that, Riyann?" I asked her rubbing my head slightly, closing my eyes for a moment. I knew that it was what I wanted and I knew she gave it to. Without even asking before she gave it to me. She didn't even give me enough time to do it.
"Well, we're not divorced yet." I told her quietly, frowning a bit more. "They should've told me."
"I'm assuming you don't want to be here either though, Riyann.." I added with a small sigh, knowing that really had nothing to do with what she said last. "... How long are you supposed to be here?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 21:14:41 GMT
I rolled my eyes softly at what he said, mostly because it was really the only thing I thought about lately. How I gave into what he wanted when really I shouldn't have. It was too late though.
What he said next made me wonder if it really was too late, but I knew that he wanted to be divorced, so I wasn't going to guilt him into not signing the papers if he wanted too. Then why hasn't he? "But they didn't so just deal with it." I muttered tiredly.
"Why would I want to?" I asked, looking up at him before looking down to the floor that was only a short ways from me now. "They haven't said yet." I whispered under my breath at his last question.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 21:23:32 GMT
I sighed slightly, leaning against the bars and closing my eyes for a few moments. I guess there was no choice but to deal with it. What could I do about them not telling me anything? Nothing, I was pretty sure.
"You wouldn't." I said quietly, even though I was sure it was a rhetorical question, glancing to her as she looked up to me for a short moment.
I sighed again at her answer and nodded."Maybe you should try to get some sleep.. I think I should go find somebody and get you something to eat."
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 21:28:15 GMT
I nodded a little when he said I wouldn't and left it at that. Really the conversation was starting to die out and I was starting to let my thoughts drift over to the part when Riley dropped his ring on the floor, when he told me it was over and I felt a tear slip past my eye.
"I'm fine." I said not even a moment after he said I should try and get some sleep and he was thinking of going to find someone for food for me. "I'm fine, just stop trying to help." I whispered softly, feeling bad as I said it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 21:34:25 GMT
I looked to the floor for a moment, "You're not fine, you're in Azkaban and you look like you haven't slept or eaten in a week." I said shaking my head faintly. ".. But if you'd rather I'd leave, I will." I added quietly, frowning a little more.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 21:42:57 GMT
I rolled my eyes as if to say no duh, I've sort of noticed, living here and all, but I didn't say anything to the first comment. "I never wanted you too leave, you've already done it." I muttered, looking away slightly now.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 21:45:16 GMT
Hearing what she said just made it all the more worse. ".. I'm sorry.. I just.. I didn't know what to do, Riyann.. and you never even gave me time to change my mind." I said looking back at her with a faint sigh.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 21:52:29 GMT
"Well I'm sorry too." I said, shutting my eyes now. "Besides it's not like it's final, you've got all the time you want to change your mind, there just won't be an us anymore." I added looking up at him with slightly watery eyes. I meant it too, there wouldn't be an us, I didn't want to have to go through Riley leaving me and then wanting to come back, especially while I was locked up in Azkaban.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 21:56:54 GMT
"What's the point of changing my mind if there won't be an us anymore, Riyann?" I asked looking up to her. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to sign the papers or not, if I wanted to leave her or not, but I knew that I should want to and maybe it was for the best.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 22:04:03 GMT
"Don't ask me. You're the one who wants the time to change you're mind, I don't need any time." I said, watching him look at me, looking back at him, and then turning away.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 22:07:04 GMT
I paused for a few moments, keeping my eyes on her as she spoke and then looked away from me. ".. Fine.. I'll just sign the papers then." I said quietly, glancing to the floor for a moment again. I was probably going to sign them anyway, but at least it would be easier to sign them when I knew she wouldn't take me back anyway.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 22:11:54 GMT
So it was a lie, I would take him back in a heartbeat, he just didn't seem to thrilled for me to do so, so what's a little lie going to do? "Dunno what was stopping you before." I whispered, looking down at my hand that held the ring on my finger. I loved him to death, and I was sure he knew that, I'd rather be in here than to not be with him. Well I was getting that and I wasn't with him anymore. I'd rather be dead, and I think that was partially why I hadn't started off in here with a good start.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 22:18:07 GMT
I thought that she loved me still, but maybe I was wrong, maybe she got over me quicker than I thought was possible. "I didn't sign them because I thought maybe I was making a mistake.." I said quietly with a very faint shrug. ".. Still love you.." I added a little quieter. But I guess maybe it wasn't a mistake.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 22:23:20 GMT
I bit my lip from saying something like I thought it was a mistake too, but I didn't want him to change his mind now that he was going to sign them, because now he could have someone so much better who wouldn't put him through everything I've put him through. He's just going to hate me after all of this anyways. It was rare that my thoughts were ever really my own anymore, sometimes I was having conversations with the other voice. My heart skipped a beat when he said he still loved me. I still loved him, but I couldn't bring myself to say it, and he shouldn't love me. He really just shouldn't. A few more tears started falling and I just cast my eyes downwards, hoping he wasn't going to notice the tears, hoping he wouldn't put two and two together and know that I loved him and that I didn't want the divorce.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 22:32:34 GMT
I did notice the tears falling down her face as she cast her eyes downward, but I wasn't really sure why she was crying. Maybe this was just too much for her? I just couldn't put it together. Or maybe she still loved me and just wasn't saying anything.. I didn't know and knowing Riyann, if she didn't want me to know it didn't matter what I knew. She wouldn't admit to anything that she didn't want me to know.
"Please don't cry.. I hate making you cry." I mumbled after a few moments, laying my head against the bars, looking at the floor.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 22:37:30 GMT
I wanted to stop the tears right then and there because Riley didn't want me to cry, because he hated making me cry, but I couldn't. I also wanted to move over towards him instead of staying as far back from him as I could, but I couldn't because I wasn't sure if I trusted myself to walk over there. Letting a long breath pass my lips I tried to settle down a little, but I coudn't, and I moved a hand up and started wiping away the tears that now wouldn't stop falling. This shouldn't be that hard, he wanted a divorce, I made him stop thinking about not wanting it, and now I was crying when I shouldn't be.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 22:41:21 GMT
"Can you please come closer to me?" I asked after a few moments, when she couldn't stop crying. I know she was trying to stop, I could tell, but when you can't stop, you just can't stop. I felt a couple tears fall down my face and wiped them away sort of quickly.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 22:47:28 GMT
I for one didn't want to crawl towards him because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to walk over, but what else did I have? I brushed that from my head and started to stand up slowly again, shutting my eyes as I started to get slightly dizzy.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 22:51:26 GMT
I watched her, eyeing her carefully as she started to get up, seeing her close her eyes. "... Are you sure you can make it over here?" I asked her quietly, not wanting her to fall over.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 24, 2008 22:55:23 GMT
"I'm fine." I muttered softly and after standing just decided to ignore it and started across the room, rather fast too, and stopped infront of him, waiting for the dizzy feeling to return, and when it did it was only a light throb that I easily ignored.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 24, 2008 22:58:00 GMT
I nodded faintly, watching her walk toward me, faster than I expected. "Am I allowed to hug you?" I asked her quietly, wishing that I could just hug her without these bars inbtween us. They were pretty problematic.
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