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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 14, 2008 22:23:59 GMT
"So now what's on your mind?" I ask after a moment, tilting my head at him, as he seems a little out of it and clearly is thinking about something.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 14, 2008 22:26:35 GMT
"Probably nothing you wanna hear about." I said shaking my head a little bit and moving to sit down in a different chair at the table instead staying standng where I was. "It's just.. Riyann." I said glancing up to her again. "I don't know what to do.." I shrugged slightly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 14, 2008 22:40:58 GMT
No... you were right about that for once, I think, just about to protest against his first statement before I hear the rest. I don't know how much more I can take... but if he needs me to listen, then I guess the answer is at least a bit.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 14, 2008 22:44:15 GMT
I looked over to her when she didn't respond and nodded a little, "You don't want to listen to me ramble about this.. I'm just gonna keep going in circles." I told her shaking my head a little bit. ".. I must seem really bi-polar today.. that's what I feel like at least." I added with a faint chuckle through some of my words even though it wasn't really funny.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 14, 2008 22:48:45 GMT
"It's fine," I shrug, even though I'm still not sure whether it is. "You've certainly put up with me often enough when I've been more bipolar than this." His shifts in mood are really nothing compared to my occasional violent swings from laughing to sobbing and laughing again within single conversations.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 14, 2008 22:56:57 GMT
I shrugged a little bit. "Thanks... but I don't think you're too bad.." I said shaking my head a little bit. She did shift moods relatively easily, but I never really minded unless she ended up mad at me becuase of them.
"I just.. I know you probably wouldn't be back here if you still... if there was still something..." I said quietly and kind of slowly not finishing that sentence. I was pretty sure that she'd be able to fill in the blank and know that I was talking about whatever she was feeling for me a few months ago. I was pretty sure that I wasn't still feeling whatever it was.. I didn't think, at least. "I just don't want it to be weird for you." I explained as I kept my eyes on her, which I found was slightly hard to do after mentioning the first part.
But I did kind of feel like I had to talk about this. I was too worried, I didn't even know if Riyann was alive. We didn't even leave on good terms. The longer and more I thought about this, the more worried I got and if I let this get to me, it was just going to turn into panic, which I definately can't be showing around the girls. Plus everything I was still confused about over her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 16, 2008 3:43:51 GMT
I bit my lip harder than usual with the effort of not dropping my eyes to the table, fearing that doing so would be too much a sign of what he's asking about. I find it beyond me to actually meet his eyes, however, so I guess the whole things futile and I look at the table anyway after a moment, trying to figure out how to answer without lying but also without telling the whole truth.
"That... was the idea, certainly," I say carefully, eyes still on the table and arms folded tensely. "I wouldn't come back here until the silly little crush was gone." Unless it turned out to apparently not be just a silly little crush... or if maybe it came back right away and so the whole thing was wasted. But if you don't want it to be weird, then please just don't ask questions like this.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 3:56:12 GMT
The way she worded that was pecular and I really wasn't exactly sure how I should be taking it. The way she said it, didn't really sound like it was gone. It sounded like she wanted it to be gone before she came back, but it didn't and she just came back anyway.
On top of the way she worded it, I also noticed that her nonverbals sort of changed. Her eyes dropped to the table and she was biting her lip, what looked like to be, pretty hard.
Then again, I was probably looking way too much into this and she just didn't want to talk about before she left. She didn't want to talk about it then, so I don't see why she'd want to now.
"Right.. and you're back now." I said as I basically just stated the obvious. She was back, so she didn't like me anymore. Even if she sort of was acting like she did. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 16, 2008 4:04:34 GMT
I resist the urge to groan, but bring my hands up off the table so I can press my forehead into my palms. I'm really not sure what this is supposed to accomplish, but somehow it's supposed to make me feel better. And hide my face for a moment so I can silently scream. I take a deep breath as I lower my hands again, managing to look at him now.
"Well... don't bring it up then. Please. I mean, really, I'd rather just forget. I wanted to just... go away so that it would, and then I'd come back and pretend it never happened. Please."
It's quite bad enough that it didn't go away without getting a bunch of reminders.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 4:09:35 GMT
She finally looked up to me and hearing what she said, nodded faintly to her as I looked back at her. I don't know why, but I was slightly surprised that she was saying all of this. I shook my head faintly for a second, "I'm sorry.. I didn't know it bothered you that much." I told her, now wondering if she did still like me or if she just didn't like talking about it.
".. sorry." I said again, quietly, "I won't bring it up again." Least I'll try not to.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 16, 2008 4:15:42 GMT
I let out a breath in relief, closing my eyes briefly. "Thank you. A lot." I pause for a moment, now feeling strangely guilty, as if I overreacted a bit and don't have much of a right to be so insistent.
"I'm sorry that I left," I say after a moment, tracing random curlicues onto the tabletop. "I don't know. I guess it was a stupid thing to do."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 4:23:33 GMT
I nodded a little bit. "It's not a problem." I told her giving a very faint sort of half smile. "I don't wanna upset you."
I ruffled some hair faintly on the back of my head as she spoke again and looked back up to her. I shook my head a little bit at what she was saying. "You thought it was for the best, so it probably was. You don't have to be sorry." I said as I noticed her tracing some curlicues on the tabletop in the corner of my eye.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 16, 2008 4:31:18 GMT
I half open my mouth to say something along the lines of, 'well, no, I guess I wouldn't have to be sorry if it had actually worked,' but come to my senses just in time and instead shake my head at the table, shrugging slightly. "... Never mind," I murmur even though I wasn't saying anything. "Sorry. Weren't we just talking about something else?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 4:36:11 GMT
I nodded slightly again, not pushing for her to say whatever she almost said. I was curious about it, but for all I know it's possible that she just forgot what she was going to say. "Okay." I said sort of quietly back to her after she said nevermind, as I leaned a little bit more back in my chair, folding my arms infront of me.
"Um.." I started before pausing for a few moments. We were talking about how I was going to start talking about Riyann. Then I wanted to make sure it was okay and we got off topic. So now that she's asking me, I don't really know how to respond. "Yeah.. but um, maybe we should just drop it." I said, not wanting to mention the whole thing with us again since she just said not to.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 16, 2008 4:39:16 GMT
"Okay...." I say slowly, biting my lip softly. "Are you sure? You can talk if you want, even if.... I mean, I didn't mean to be so snappish about it."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 4:54:57 GMT
I shrugged a little bit. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable." I said, shaking my head faintly. "And I didn't mean to bother you.. I'll try not to talk about.." I told her, now thinking about how it was hard not to voice that I was nervous and sort of upset.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 1:42:00 GMT
"'S'fine," I shrug, but decide to just drop it. I don't know why I had to press the issue anyway - maybe to see if, for once, he's really serious about agreeing not to talk about it?
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 1:49:31 GMT
I nodded a little bit, "Okay.." I said sort of quietly, not knowing what we could possibly talk about now. Now that she mentioned it, she was a bit snappish about the whole thing.. and I was actually pretty surprised in general.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 1:56:36 GMT
Yeah.... I murmur internally, biting my lip and nodding briefly. And that killed that topic.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 2:02:10 GMT
I sighed faintly as we sat there. ".. I killed the conversation." I said staring blankly at the floor for a few moments.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 2:08:31 GMT
"No, you didn't," I protest, half laughing and half tsking under my breath. "You were just trying to start it up again... and I'm pretty sure I killed it."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 2:10:13 GMT
I looked over to her, smiling a little bit with a small laugh. "Maybe we both helped with the murder..." I said chuckling slightly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 2:22:30 GMT
"Mm... probably." I smile faintly.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 2:24:08 GMT
I smiled a little bit, "So uh.. How long have you been back anyway?" I asked her curiously, it being the first thing to pop in my mind that didn't have to do with Riyann or however many months ago.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 2:29:56 GMT
"Only a couple of... well, about a day and a half." I shrug slightly. "Very, very nearly summoned the courage to go and see Lilith... then lost it... and... yeah. So this's about all I've done."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 2:32:21 GMT
I nodded a little bit as I looked back up to her when she started to talk. "Why're you scared to see Lilith?" I asked her curiously, slightly wondering what exactly she needed the courage for. ".. If you wanna tell me."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 2:44:17 GMT
"Just... I don't know." I shrug slightly, shaking my head at the table. "Was slightly scared to see you, but not as much. I guess... I'm afraid that I hurt her, leaving like I did... and I don't want to see that." I shrug again, then laugh faintly. "I've willingly gone into Azkaban, but I'm so scared of finding out that my little sister's mad at me I can't stop by her house."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 2:48:15 GMT
I nodded a little bit, listening to her explanation. "You shouldn't be scared to see her.. I bet that she's gonna be just as happy to see you as me." I told her with a small smile. I laughed a little when she mentioned Azkaban. "Wow.. you're willing to go into Azkaban.. That is pretty bad."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Oct 17, 2008 2:54:21 GMT
"Yeah, just a bit." I smile faintly. "Only for family though... which ought to mean I'd be okay with seeing Lilith...." I take and let out a deep breath, shaking my head. "After this I guess. And I don't suppose I mentioned that I almost turned around and went away? I didn't even knock on purpose; my hand slipped."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 2:58:49 GMT
I nodded a little with a faint smile. "Good.. you should go see her. And you didn't.." I said shaking my head a little bit. "Well.. I'm glad your hand slipped then." I smiled.
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