Riley;;Tears Don't Fall

[Riyann Servansikk]

They Crash Around Me

Sick, that's what I was feeling as I started walking up the muggle street towards home in the rain. Shelby, she loved Draven more, and I had expected that, and it hurt, but we both agreed that we didn't love eachother as great as we thought we did. We were still friends, still cared about eachother, but that was it. Which was partially the reason I was here.
I just didn't know if I'd be forgiven this time, or if I'd taken to much time to figure this out.
Hopefully it'll work out.
No, it will work out, either the way I hope it does or not.
It'll still work out.

Tears still fell down my cheeks, but I didn't notice, I was more busy trying to think of an apology, to both Riley, and the twins for leaving, again, and not coming to their birthday.
The only problem is, I can't think of anything to say, a simple sorry doesn't seem likely to suit this situation. I got up and left, the third time, and the sad thing was that I left everything that I could ever ask for a possiblity of more.
They saying, don't leave the one you love for the one you like, seems to fit so well and maybe I should listen.

Don't leave the one you love, for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. Seems to have witnessed that myself. I thought, moving a hand up and running it through my soaking wet hair, bringing the stray strands away from my face next.

I didn't bother to wipe away the tears because they only kept coming and the rain mixed with them as well.

Shivering slightly, I began to wonder how long I'd been out in the rain or how long it was taking me to make the simple walk home, it just seemed like it was a little to long. Glancing at the muggle street signs I bit down against my lip, realizing that I forgot to turn a street back and laughed softly to myself.
"How'd I manage that?" I asked myself in a faint whisper before turning back up the street.

Here I was, wanting to take my time, yet get home and make things right, and I start up the wrong street. I should just as well apparate there, but I knew that there were muggles around and didn't dare.

Trying to block my thoughts, which almost didn't seem to make any sense, I kept walking until I was the familiar house and a faint smile came to my lips, but I wasn't sure now if I wanted to go in or stay out in the rain. It was relaxing in a way.

Stopping in front of the house, facing it with my body, I bit my lip softly before stepping towards it and stopping in front of the door. I knew that I could go in, I still did live here, minus the past two and a half weeks, or however long it was, I can't even remember how long it's been since I left, sad, it just didn't feel right to go in after being gone and hurting Riley and leaving the twins, and it made me want to stay out here until someone noticed I was here, but I wasn't going to do that, I didn't want to be out here to long while knowing I was pregnant.

Standing there for a good ten more minutes I bit my lip and stepped a little closer, moving a hand and knocking on the door, pulled my hand back and crossed my arms across my chest. My heart was racing a good deal now that I knew that I was here and I only had a moment or so to think of something to say.
But my mind was empty, my thoughts gone, and just the small fear that I'd kept Riley waiting to long and he didn't want anything to do with me.

Which, really, it seems silly. He said he loved me the last time I'd seen him, he tried to keep me and have me stay with him instead of walking away because he didn't trust me the greatest, which I asked for each time I'd done something.

[Riley Pearson]

Riyann never showed up for the girl's birthday. Which, honestly, I was expecting. If she was going to go, she would've more than likely told me, or just gone with me instead of walking away. I hadn't seen her since then and it'd been nearly three weeks since she left. And I was doing what she asked me to. I was giving her more time and I was waiting this out a little longer.

Shelby even showed up here, telling me that she loved Draven more than Riyann. So I knew that Riyann would probably be coming back at some point, but she still hadn't and I was starting to wonder if Shelby had changed her mind. Or maybe if Riyann just changed her mind about everything and decided that she didn't want to be with me either. I tried not to dwell on that though. Especially not the last one.

Over the years, Riyann had put me through so much. So much that I almost felt like it would stop soon. You know the theory, when it rains, it pours, but after it pours, it stops. Then the sun comes out and everything's okay again. That's what I was trying to look at this as. The key word was trying though I guess.

The girl's were in their room, playing. At least I thought that they were playing. I really never knew with them. They did seem to be nicer to me lately though. But it was sort of starting to worry me. For the first couple days, they didn't really say much of anything, then they started asking me more questions and then eventually asking for other things. That's when they found out that I'd basically do whatever they wanted just so I didn't have to argue with them. So when I walked in to check on them they got really quiet and stared at me, not saying much until I left. Which is what really led me to believe they were doing something.. good or bad, I really didn't know.

I was walking away from their room, hearing the rain tap against the house and windows. I made my way past the front door, glancing outside a window as I did. I walked past it before stopping and turning around to look outside again. There she was. Soaking wet and standing outside, staring up at the house. I didn't know if she saw me or not, but I knew that she shouldn't be out there. I sighed slightly, going over to the couch and grabbing the blanket that was laying on it before walking outside in the rain and walking over to her.

I wrapped the blanket around her first, not saying anything right away and unsure of what to actually say. A moment later I pulled her into a tight hug, the blanket still wrapped around her.

I was pretty sure thing's weren't going to be normal for a while, but for now, this was okay.

[Riyann Servansikk]

It took me a moment to realize that the door was open, Riley was standing there, hugging me tightly and I had a blanket wrapped around me. "I'm sorry." I murmured softly against his chest, wondering if he even wanted to hear those words, he'd heard them so many times from me, maybe he was sick of them. I was, but I didn't know what else to say.

Maybe one way to explain it was that I was just confused about everything when I was around Shelby and I let it get in the way. Mind you, I did love her, but not as much as Riley or in the same way.
Moving slightly, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back, my head still burried in his chest as I did. "I love you." I said after a short moment, not wanting to leave that out in the least.

After taking so long and trying to think of something to say to him, I couldn't remember what it was, and it didn't really matter. That and I could've been thinking of something to say for the past three weeks in case this did happen, and been thinking of something to say if this wasn't how it turned out. But I hadn't been doing that, and so I had taken longer in coming back, but I didn't really need to say anything. Everything I had already said, I'm sure, he knew and hopefully understood.

Don't leave the one you love for the one you like. I thought again, biting my lip softly as I let a few more tears slip past my eyes. The one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Was I heartbroken? A little, yes.
Happy coming back? More than likely.
Sorry? Absolutly.
Stupid? Only sometimes. For instance, not now. I smiled a little at that, knowing that every time I had messed something up and said that outloud, Riley would always say the opposite, and it was now that it was starting to rub off on me, make me realize that he was right.
So maybe instead of being an idiot, I was just ignorant.

[Riley Pearson]

I heard her murmur that she was sorry after I pulled her into a hug and didn't say anything back to it, just shaking my head a little bit. I was really sure if those words meant much to me anymore and over the years, I was getting sort of sick of hearing them. But I knew she meant well by them and I figured she probably didn't know what to say. I would've probably said the same thing to her if I was in her position.

I nodded slightly when she said she loved me and feeling her wrap her arms around me I hugged her a little tigheter, still feeling the rain pour down on us. "Love you too..." I said quietly before realising that we should go somewhere where it's not raining. "Let's get you inside..." I said a little quieter, pulling slightly out of the hug, but keeping an arm around her as I started walking toward the house.

[[sorry is short-ish =/ ]]

[Riyann Servansikk]

Hearing no answer from him after saying sorry I assumed right, that he didn't much care about the words anymore, I just hoped that he knew I meant them and that it hopefully wasn't going to happen again. I'd try my hardest to make it so that I wouldn't have to say those words anymore.

It was quiet for a little longer, only the rain making a sound as it hit against our bodies and the ground, I didn't mind though, not as long as I was with Riley, and I could feel him hug me tighter as it was silent.

It was sad to think that it really took me ten years to figure out that I really did love Riley more than anything, I mean, I knew I did, but ten years to get to that point without letting anything else confuse me or interfere like it just did. I wasn't going to, there wasn't going to be anything to confuse me anymore. Really, that's all I needed, was to straighten my feelings for Shelby out, and it took me that long to do it? Maybe I was just afraid though, afraid of what would happen to what I had and what I could have.
Still, ten years.

I let him pull out of the hug and with one arm around me start walking to the house with me. "How're the twins?" I asked in a small whisper, feeling the guilt fall over me again as I thought about not seeing them for how long I was gone, missing their birthday and everything. The guilt of being with Shelby and her kids, not my own.

[[tis okay, it was good though]]

[Riley Pearson]

I finally felt like everything was maybe going to be okay. At least for a little while. I was starting to wonder though how long she was thinking about maybe loving Shelby more than me. In those ten years, she never said anything about it, or really did anything, at least as far as I knew. Everything was okay, and then all of sudden this popped up and I wasn't sure of what to think about it. But now, I was hoping that she was back, because she really did love me more and not just becuase Shelby decided that she loved somebody else more.

She asked me how the twins were doing and I just shrugged slightly. I should know the answer to that, but for some reason I just couldn't think of how to asnwer her without making her feel any worse.

"They, um.." I paused for a moment, biting my lip for a second to gather what i was going to say, before starting again, even though I wasn't sure. "It's kind of hard to tell.."

[[ yay and is thank you ^^ ]]

[Riyann Servansikk]

I stopped walking after a moment, grabbing onto one of his hands so he'd turn and look at me. "Riley." I whispered softly, looking him in the eyes. "I really do love you." I started a little louder than a whisper. "That's the only reason I'm here. Not because of Shell, because I love you more than anything." I said, smiling a little towards him. I needed him to know that. Shelby had told me she'd come over here and talked to him, and I didn't want him thinking I was only back because I still loved him some and he was all I had left, that I loved Shell more than me, but she didn't love me the same back. I didn't want him to think that.

I saw him shrug at my question and I bit my lip, didn't sound that great now. Maybe they hated me, maybe they didn't. Maybe it'd take some time, maybe it wouldn't ever be okay. I hope more than anything that it will be though.

I started walking again, knowing that neither of us should stay out in the rain to long, I'd already been out here long enough. "Th-they here?" I asked softly. It could be hard to tell if they weren't here or something. Either that or else they're just not showing how they are or not talking to Riley.
I just want to see them so bad right now.

[Riley Pearson]

I let her stop me and grab onto my hand before I looked down to her again, hearing her whisper my name. I looked her back in the eyes before she started and listening to her, smiled faintly back at what she told me. I did need to hear that, and when she said it, I did feel better about the situation. That she was going to come back to me either way because she loved me more.

She asked me if they were home and I nodded. "Yeah.." I said quietly with a small nod, starting to walk with her again too. "They're in their room.. they've been sort of quiet lately.."

[[ ahh, short again = sucky, lol ]]

[Riyann Servansikk]

[[It's fine. plus, who cares if it's short? lmao]]

I saw him smile a little and smiled a little more myself. I missed his smile, or I could just say that I missed him and everything about him. I was back, I had apologized, explained to him that I really was only back because I loved him, not because Shelby and I decided we didn't love eachother like that as we thought we did.

"They hate me?" I asked with a small laugh as we reached the door. More than anything I hope that they didn't hate me, but if they did I sort of deserved it. Especially since I wasn't at their birthday.
Which I had been planning on going to and I was going to go and not let anything get in the way of it, not Riley, not Shelby, not my stupid and insistant thoughts, nothing. But I did and I deserved something by that.

His comment about them being sort of quiet lately made me raise an eyebrow as I wrapped the blanket around me a little tighter, which didn't seem to make much sense since it was soaking wet from both the rain and my wet clothes, but I don't care. Usually the twins were sort of, well, opposite of quiet, so something had to be up, or they were depressed. I frowned softly, trying to figure out what was wrong, if anything.

[Riley Pearson]

I shook my head looking over to her as I stopped opening the door. "Don't say that.." I said, shaking my head a little. "I'm sure they don't hate you.." I said as I pushed the door open, waiting for her to walk inside first. We were both soaking wet now and I was cold, so I was sure that Riyann was freezing since who knows how long she had been outside.

"Yeah.." I said with a small shrug. "I don't get it either.. my guess is that they're up to something though.."

[[ lmao, yay then ]]

[Riyann Servansikk]

I put my hands up defensively when he said not to say that. "I was asking." I said softly before returning them to holding the blanket around me. "I hope your right." I murmured softly as he waited for me to go in and I did, looking around for a moment. Nothing had changed, not that I had exactly expected it to, that and I was only next to the front door, couldn't exactly see if everywhere else had stayed the same.

"Probably." I murmured softly, nodding a little and turning to look at him, biting my lip softly. "What'd you tell them all?" I asked in a small whisper, wondering if he had told them about Shelby being part of the reason I'd left, i hope he didn't at least.

[[SHORT.. lmao]]

[Riley Pearson]

"Sorry.. I just don't even want to think about that.." I said quietly, shaking my head a little bit. I hope so too.. I thought with a small nod at what she murmured. I shut the front door, watching her look around for a moment. The house was basically, exactly the same. All except for a few things being in different places just due to not feeling like I had the energy to put them away.

I nodded slightly, looking back at her once she turned toward me. "Um.. That we just needed some time apart." I said quietly to her, asnwering her question. I didn't say anything to them about Shelby, and never really answered their specific questions.

[[ lmao, woo! ]]

[Riyann Servansikk]

"It s'alright." I said softly, nodding my head a little bit after he apologized. Don't leave the one you love for the one you like, the one you like will only leave you for the one they love. I couldn't get that saying out of my head and was on the verge of calling it stupid, no matter how right and true it really was. After hearing it go through your head so many times it gets old and annoying.

Nodding a little I smiled softly. "Um, thanks." I said, nodding a little more. Now I just felt ashamed, no not stupid, I was smart enough to not call myself stupid, not even think it, at least not around Riley. He'd find some way of figuring it out that I thought I was stupid or soemthing.

I wasn't sure if I should talk with him or if I should go see the twins, I was kind of leaning more towards seeing the twins because, well, I've seen Riley twice now since I left, I haven't seen them at all.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded slightly, then smiling softly back to her. "You're welcome?" I asked softly with a very faint shrug, not really sure how to respond to that. But I guess it was better than just saying she left to live with Shelby and her kids.

"Um.. Y-You should probably get changed before anything.." I said to her, biting my lip a little bit. "You're soaking wet.. How long've you been outside?" I asked her curiously, pushing some of my own wet hair out of my eyes.

I was thinking she should probably talk to the girl's first, but I wasn't going to make her do anything. It was up to her who she wanted to talk to first.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I bit my lip and realized how silly that sounded, then again, not as silly as if I really only needed a break and took one and what he'd told them was the complete truth. That would've been silly sounding then. "Uh, yeah." I said with a small smile.

I was about to protest, wanting to see the twins before I even started carring about whether or not I was soaking wet. Until he asked how long I'd been outside and I just nodded, not much wanting to answer him. "Uhm, yeah I'll go change." I said softly, making it seem like I hadn't even heard his question and nodded a little, not quite starting down towards our room yet, just looking at him as he pushed some of his hair from his eyes and face and bit my lip softly.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded slightly, smiling a little back. "Thanks.." I said when she said that she would go change. I watched her nod a little, letting her not answer me. The answer would probably only worry me anyway. I noticed her watch me as I pushed a piece of hair away from my face and seeing her bit her lip lightly, bit mine a little too. "Are you okay?"

[Riyann Servansikk]

I nodded a little bit at his question, seeing him bite his lip a little. "Just kind of hard to believe you still love me after all this." I muttered softly, smiling weakly towards him before starting towards our room before he could answer or say anything to what I just said. I didn't want to know why, it was probably hard enough for him as it is and to have to come up with some reason besides 'I just do' or 'I can't help it' would just hurt me more.

[Riley Pearson]

I was gonna say something back to her, but instead she turned away and walked down towards our room to get changed. I bit my lip a little bit, ruffling some of my wet hair, realising that I needed to change too, or would at least like to. But she was already closer to the room and I could wait until she was done before going to change myself. I still slightly wondered why I still loved her after it all, and I knew that I would've rather had a series of reasons other than just the ones I could think of now. Like, I just still do, or I can't stop, or anything similar to that. I bit my lip a little bit, looking around slightly before sitting down on the couch.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I didn't hear him say anything as I walked to our bedroom and I was kind of glad by that, but it only said that he didn't really know why himself, but I ignored that and moved through the room to get out a tank top and a pair of sweat pants and started getting dressed, letting my wet clothes fall to the floor in a small heap and then pulled on a zip up hoodie that belonged to Riley.

Biting my lip I stayed in there for a little bit longer before grabbing my clothes, leaving the room and throwing them in the washer to wait for either Riley's wet clothes or just some more clothes.
Sighing softly I stopped infront of the girls' room, looking at the closed door before knocking lightly, hearing the occasional voices stop, sure that they were looking at the door.

[Riley Pearson]

I saw her walk out of our room before stepping infront of the twin's and knocking slightly on the door. I watched for a moment deciding that maybe I would just put some different clothes on now and walked into our room next. I got out a t-shirt and some jeans. I put them on a moment later, glad to be out of the damp clothes and put on what I had taken out, throwing on a zip-hoodie over them, before sitting on the bed and trying to think of the reasons why I still loved her.

The girl's got quiet as they heard the knock on the door. Assuming that it was Rily again, they called for him to come inside. "Come in.." They said not really happy sounding but okay sounding. They were sitting on the floor with their broomsticks by their sides, Charlotte hiding her mum's locket in her pocket. It was the main reason they had been acting quiet that day. They were playing earlier and Charlotte had been wearing it. Somehow, Ella tripped into her and grabbing for something, caught the necklace, which in turn broke, the chain now snapped and the small pictures inside had gotten slightly wet from falling into the damp grass outside. They didn't know what to do, so when Riley wasn't looking they swapped his wand and were trying to fix it so they wouldn't get in trouble. Ella shoved the wand under Char's bed, since it was closer and they both looked over to the door, waiting for it to open.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I bit my lip softly when I heard them tell me to come in, but I knew better than to think they were actually telling me to come in. They didn't know I was home for one, that and I think that's it. Staying out in front of their door a moment longer I heard a few things move around in the room and smiled softly, knowing that they were up to something, but then I bit my lip, wondering what they were going to do or how they were going to react to this.
Not even a few seconds after they said come in I turned the handle on the dor and pushed it open so that I could see the two girls, but stayed where I was in the doorway so they could shut me out if the wanted to, though I really hope the don't. Getting a quick look around I saw the brooms that we'd gotten them. I say we because they had been from both of us, just from my money that I'd made. Boring job means the money goes to fun things. Fun job, which is what I now declare Riley's, means the money goes to boring things like bills.

[Riley Pearson]

The girl's looked over to the door as it opened, firstly seeing that it wasn't their dad, but their mum. They both stared at her for a moment until Ella scrambled to her feet and ran over to her, hugging her tightly with a few tears in her eyes. Charlotte, however, didn't do the same thing and instead, looked up at her before tunring her direction back to the floor and staying where she was, rubbing her fingers slightly over the locket that was in her pocket, a few tears forming in her eyes that she just pushed away.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I watched their reactions, Ariella running up and hugging me tight as Charlotte just looked away, causing me to bite my lip a little, but I hugged Ella back tightly and kissed the top of her head a couple of times. "I'm sorry love." I mumbled softly into her ear before kissing the top of her head again.
Still hugging her sister, I looked up at Lottie, frowning a little. "Char." I said softly, letting a couple of tears fall down my cheeks as they had been earlier when I was standing out in the rain. I wasn't going to beg Char Lottie to forgive me or for her to come and at least give me a hug, I just wanted her to know I was sorry.

[Riley Pearson]

Ella nodded, relaxing slightly in Riyann's arms as she hugged her tightly back and kissed her head lightly. "I love you." Ella said, though it sounded slightly muffled because she was still hugging her. "Please don't leave again." She said shaking her head slightly agianst her.
Charlotte took a moment before looking over to her, but staying where she was. "What?" She asked glancing up to her for a moment, quickly wiping away a tear that feel down her cheek.

[Riyann Servansikk]

"I love you too." I whispered softly before shutting my eyes for a brief moment. "I promise baby girl." I said, as she shook her head against me and I kissed the top of it again, hating myself for doing this again, but then I quickly corrected myself, mad that I had done this, but I'd get over it because I couldn't change what was done.
Letting go of Ariella I stepped closer in the room before kneeling down in front of Charlotte. "I'm sorry Char." I said softly, pulling her into a hug she could pull out of, hoping she wasn't going to ignore me or do something else that'd make me regret everything even more, and really, that was pretty hard to accomplish.

[Riley Pearson]

Ella nodded and a few moments later, let Riyann pull out of the hug before wiping her eyes slightly and watching her mum walk over to Char and kneel infront of her.
Char averted her eyes from Riyann's, glancing to her a moment or two after she said said sorry. She didn't say anything yet and let her her mum pull her into a hug. She felt a few more tears fall down her cheeks and hugged her back, pulling the hand out of her pocket, causing the necklace to drop out it with a small muffled clank on the carpet. "Why'd you leave?" She asked still hugging her, unaware the broken necklace had fallen.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I felt Charlotte hug me back and bit my lip softly, letting a few more tears fall down my face. "Daddy and I needed a small break." I said after a moment, not really wanting to tell them the fact was that I couldn't tell if I loved Riley or not, which I don't know if it is a good thing or not. "I'm sorry love." I said softly, kissing the top of her head.

[Riley Pearson]

She nodded again when she said sorry and hugged her a little tighter. She didn't really know what to say to any of this. And even though she was still sort of mad at her, Char did love her and was glad that she was back.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I smiled a little and hugged her back just as tight, kissing the top of her head a couple more times as I did. "I love you baby." I murmured softly, shutting my eyes lightly as I rested my forehead against her shoulder lightly.

[Riley Pearson]

She wiped her eyes again as she hugged her and nodded slightly, "I love you too." She mumbled quietly, resting her head against her a little more, then noticing the necklace on the ground causing Char's eyes to widen. She looked over to Ella, signaling to the floor where the necklace was. Ella's eyes widened slightly in return and she went over to the necklace, picking up slightly quickly and placing in her hand, holding it tightly.