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Aug 14, 2009 21:30:21 GMT
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 14, 2009 21:30:21 GMT
I laugh very faintly, letting him kiss me again, and close my eyes briefly so that I can kiss him back. The last thing I want is to let him realize what I'm really feeling right now... or, god forbid, to start crying. So I think I can push it out of my mind for a bit, and concentrate on this.
"... Are we sure we should be doing this, though?" I ask eventually, tone light. "I don't know; it just... seems wrong not to be wrong." I kiss him again when I've said this, for reassurance.
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Aug 14, 2009 23:18:49 GMT
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 14, 2009 23:18:49 GMT
I kissed her back momentarily when she kissed me again as I tried to process what she had just said in the first place. I guess that wasn't exactly rejecting me... I mean, she even kissed me when she was done speaking. Thinking about what she asked, I was pretty sure that we should... but there weren't many times when I thought different. But since she'd just ended things with Logan, I guess if she was asking that, then it was pretty obvious that she wasn't so sure about the situation. ".. I am.. but I can understand if you're not.." I said eventually, sort of wondering if this was her way of making me let myself down. I shrugged faintly, "I guess I don't really see how it's wrong.. at least if you're happy.."
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Aug 14, 2009 23:48:05 GMT
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 14, 2009 23:48:05 GMT
My smile disappears when he says that, and I realize that maybe it's stupid to be lying to him. "I guess... maybe I'm not. Even though I am, but... I don't know. I'm sorry." I pull away from him now, shaking my head. "I guess I was right the first time around."
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Aug 15, 2009 0:02:25 GMT
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 15, 2009 0:02:25 GMT
I see her smile disappear and mine fades a bit as well. It's not like I can really be mad. I knew there was a chance of that happening and I still risked it. Just get over it. I thought to myself right away. Plus, I'm sure I've gotten over worse so this shouldn't be a problem for me. I should be used to this by now. "... How are or aren't you sure then?" I asked her a moment or two after she let go of me and pulled away. ".. Just out of curiosity.."
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Aug 15, 2009 13:55:56 GMT
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 15, 2009 13:55:56 GMT
I frown at him faintly, confused, before realizing he must have meant to say 'how are you?' and tripped over himself. But I'm still not sure I can answer, to be honest. How the hell am I?
"... I don't know," I say finally. Pause. "Confused."
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Aug 16, 2009 7:06:48 GMT
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 16, 2009 7:06:48 GMT
I decide to just forget about what I was trying to ask her. Her answer was probabaly going to be the same anyway. And plus, she'd probably said enough earlier for me to answer it myself. Well, maybe.. She wasn't ready to start something else becuase of what she just ended? I think that might work as an answer. Even though I still wasn't positive why she said she wasn't sure and then that she was at the same time? I think I'd gotten confused somewhere along the lines anyway, so I don't think I should bring it up again. Which is why I was going to stop thinking and confusing myself about it. I doubt that any of my thoughts even made sense.
I nodded at what she said, "Alright.. well, um.. Just forget what happened then." I started saying after a few moments. "You don't have to worry about it." I gave a faint smile to her, just to know there weren't any hard feelings. ".. But um.. What're you confused about?" That part, I don't think I was understanding.
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Aug 17, 2009 13:59:37 GMT
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 17, 2009 13:59:37 GMT
"I don't know." I shake my head wearily. "Everything, right now. I just... I hate this. All right? I really do. Every damn time I think I've got it all figured out, and start moving toward something... it all gets flipped around in my head and maybe I should just stay still because no matter which way I try to move it's always wrong."
I sink down in a chair then at the table, propping my head up in my hands and closing my eyes. "... I'm sorry," I add after a moment, more calmly. "It really isn't fair of me to be such a mess and impose on you like this."
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