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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 22, 2009 2:23:08 GMT
I don't remember making the decision to show up at Riley's, so it must have been subconscious. I vaguely remember getting up this morning, drinking my coffee in a state of excessive calm, and then heading out, but I didn't really care where I was going 'til I got there. Now, I kind of wish I'd come somewhere else - I hate seeing friends when I'm upset, too self-absorbed to take in whatever's going on in their lives as well, and making them upset that they can't help me.
At the same time, of course, I don't necessarily want to be completely alone... but why Riley? At a time like this? I think I'm half afraid I might kiss him again, but that's not everything. There's another reason, too, that I don't want to see him right now, but I can't seem to put it into words so I guess maybe it's not important and I'll just knock anyway, then wish that I hadn't.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 22, 2009 2:52:02 GMT
I think I've forgotten what sleeping in was like. Since the girls had spent the night at a friends house, and my parents had taken Justin out for the day, I had the house to myself. And that, to me, meant that I didn't have to do anything today. Which was why I slept in way later than I should have and instead of making breakfast, just boiled some water and made a cup of tea.
Sitting at the kitchen table, I took a sip of the tea I just made and started sifting through today's Daily Prophet. Nothing really too interesting to come by.. though I had to admit I was slightly amused and somewhat surprised to see a picture of Logan buried somewhere in the middle of it. Still missing. "Missing my arse.." I mumbled to myself before setting my mug down over his face and looking at another article in the paper.
But I didn't get very far into the article because only a few moments later, there was a knock on the door. After looking back toward it, I stood up and walked over the front hall.
Opening the door, I had to say that I was slightly surprised about who was standing infront of me. Surprised and not to mention a bit embarrassed. I still hadn't gotten over what happened with Charlotte and I really wasn't sure if Charlotte had gotten over that either.
So seeing Arden standing right infront of me was a bit awkward to say the least. But I must say that I really have been wanting to talk to her, so I was glad that she decided to come here.. because I wasn't going to her place anytime soon.
Now I think I've paused a bit too long and I give her a faint smile. "Hey Arden."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 22, 2009 23:43:49 GMT
"Hey." I smile weakly back, then pause a bit too long as I wonder what on Earth to say next. I'm sure there are a dozen or so things that I could say, but somehow my mind is just blank.
"Ah... can I come in? Not botherinmg you, am I?" I ask eventually.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 22, 2009 23:51:49 GMT
I chuckled slightly, smiling to her. "No Arden, I can't believe you would even ask me something like that." I said shaking my head a bit, hoping it was obvious that was joking. Since when have I ever said, no Arden, you can't come inside. As I was saying it though, I did step back, so she could get in the house. It was chilly outside anyway.
"Not bothering me at all." I smiled.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 16:21:41 GMT
"I... thanks." I smile vaguely, glancing over my shoulder as I step inside. No idea why, of course, just as I've no idea why I suddenly want to start crying. I really should not have come here.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 16:26:21 GMT
I nodded a little bit, getting a slightly closer look at her now for some reason when she walks inside. Noticing her glancing over her shoulder as she did walk in, but not paying close attention to it. Maybe she was checking to see if Logan was here too or something? It'd be preferable if he wasn't though.
I don't know whether it was the change of lighting, or just me stopping being completely ignorant, but Arden wasn't looking all that happy. "You alright, Arden?" I asked a bit quieter a moment later, shutting the door silently behind her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 16:35:40 GMT
"Yeah, fine," I shrug, voice just a little too airy somehow in that lovely 'just about to cry' sort of way. But I refuse to give in to that, looking away for a moment and swallowing instead. "How about you? How've you been?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 16:41:21 GMT
She didn't really sound too find to me, but she obviously didn't want to talk about. So I probably shouldn't push it.. I wanted to though.. but it would probably just be best and wait to see if she would say something on her own. By the sound of her voice though, I had a feeling that she might say it eventually anyway.
I shrugged a little bit, the first word popping into my mind being, confused. But I wasn't going to say that because that would be to questions. And questions lead to me not being able to shut myself up. Which would probably then lead to me telling her about.. what happened. I didn't really want her to know that.
"I've been okay... been better, been worse." I shrugged again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 16:48:52 GMT
"Mm... I hate that phrase," I murmur, shaking my head slightly. "Sorry I didn't stop by here any sooner."
I meant to tack this on after after my questions, but then the words just took too long to come out of my mouth so I had to wait until now to say it instead.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 16:54:48 GMT
I shrugged a little bit. "I guess it's not really specific." I commented, unsure of what else to add to that. Really, I probably didn't need to add anything.
I shook my head a bit. "Don't worry about it." I said giving a faint smile to her.
"... Do you wanna sit down?" I asked after another moment, realising we were still standing in the front hall.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 17:07:40 GMT
"And it usually means 'bad' while the person who's saying it tries to pretend otherwise." I shrug slightly, then glance at the floor. "But yeah, I'll sit down."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 17:13:40 GMT
"Well, I guess it depends on your opinion of bad." I said with a small shrug. Now thinking about how Riyann showed up and how I'm thinking about getting back with her, that could be considered bad. Or the whole incident with Charlotte, that was bad. And actually, then there was how the girls really didn't like Charlotte, that wasn't good either. But overall I think that I'm fine.. confused.. unsure of what to do.. but fine.
I nodded a little bit and nodded a bit in the direction of the kitchen, so we could sit down in there. I sort of wanted my tea anyway.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 18:19:08 GMT
"Well, how about you describe it then, what's been going on, and I'll see if it matches my opinion of bad," I say, forgetting for a moment how upset I am myself as I follow him into the kitchen. I tire ridiculously easily though, whenever I'm depressed like this. Probably from all the crying. But having a broken heart shouldn't stop me from being a decent friend.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 18:25:19 GMT
This was exactly what I was trying to prevent. I'd much rather talk about what was going on with her, but I guess she beat me to the punch, so I couldn't exactly go on without answering her. So I sat down where I was sitting before and shrugged a little bit. "A few sort of, unpleasant, things with Charlotte.." I wondered if she'd question further about those.. she probably would.. and I'd eventually end up spilling it, but I wasn't ready for that kind of embarrassment yet. "And um.." I paused for a moment. "I'm thinking about getting back with Riyann.." I added a bit quieter, glancing up to her a moment later.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 18:35:09 GMT
It takes me a minute to track who Charlotte probably is, but even when I do I'm not too certain that I want to know what sort of unpleasant things they might be. But then his second sentence snaps my head up from its idle contemplation of the floor - I've already drifted over to my usual place, leaning against the wall - and I forget about the first, for the moment.
"Getting back together with Riyann?" I repeat incredulously. "Why in the world would you ever think of that?"
This isn't very tactful of me, obviously, but I really don't like the idea very much. And I think it's safe to say it isn't jealousy this time, as I haven't been less interested in Riley in ages - except as a friend. And as his friend, I really don't think that would be good for him.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 18:44:44 GMT
I shrug faintly, shifting my eyes away from hers when she snapped her head up and asks me those questions. Questions that I wasn't exactly positive how to answer.
"Yeah.." I said with a faint nod, sort of quietly. Really, I should have already known her opinion on this. She thought it was good when we weren't together anymore and honestly, I had to agree with her. I've been a lot better now that I haven't been in a relationship with her. "She stopped by.. and the girls miss her.. I might still sort of, love her?" I said, glancing up to her again, unsure of why that sort of sounded like a question.
But at least I knew that the topic of Charlotte was successfully avoided. At least for now.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 18:49:49 GMT
"You might still sort of love her with a question mark?" I ask with the air of a patient teacher, raising my eyebrows. Then I shrug. "Then again, what do I know about normal, decent relationships?"
I still don't think he should get back together with her. Let her see the girls, yes - get back together, no. But maybe my advice shouldn't really count for much.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 18:54:46 GMT
"I don't really know if I love her or not." I said shaking my head faintly when she questioned my use of the question mark. I guess that made sense.. I'd only seen her once and it was quite a while ago.. she hadn't been back here yet. "So I'm guessing that you don't think I should?"
"You seem to be doing better than me with a relationship." I commented with a small shrug, glancing over to her again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 19:02:46 GMT
"Usually means that you don't," I shrug. "But I don't know. That's just my opinion." And at his next words my throat closes up and I have to bite my lip again, ducking my head. "I... I wouldn't... exactly say that," I say eventually, biting down on the inside of my cheek.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 19:07:14 GMT
"I guess.. yeah." I said with a small shrug. But I sort of felt like I did, so I was pretty confused. I nodded faintly, biting my lip a bit. "Your opinion's important to me though.." I commented with another faint shrug.
I looked over to her curiously at what she said next though, "Why? What's happened?" I asked, slightly unsure of how I should be feeling, or what it could be.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 19:15:28 GMT
"I don't know...." I shrug again, shaking my head and then pausing before I answer. "Logan and I... sort of came to the conclusion that it wasn't working." I shrug again slightly and swallow. "... I don't even know where he is now."
And there. I knew it would come out eventually, and now I wish it hadn't. Because I don't want to cry anymore, or get any sort of sympathy. We decided this logically, so it's not allowed to hurt.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 19:23:48 GMT
For some reason, I don't think I was expecting her to tell me that. So I'm a bit surprised, I think, in the first place. My second reaction is, 'it's probably for the better that they aren't together'. And the two are followed by a want to get up and hug her because I can imagine that she isn't feeling so well right now.
I was silent for a few moments now, trying to decide what I should do. I doubted she wanted sympathy, because knowing Arden, she didn't want to cry and I didn't really want to make her cry. But I wanted to give her a hug, which would be qualifying as just that.
I shook my head faintly, "... I, wasn't expecting that." I said glancing up to her again. "Are you okay?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 19:29:42 GMT
"Yeah, fine," I nod, blinking back the few tears that have managed to escape and hoping that he doesn't notice... though also wanting a hug. "I mean, it's probably best. We weren't very good at pretending to be normal... and it was kind of stupid for him to be hanging around here so long."
And I miss him so much more than I should and I haven't felt like this since just after Travis died and I don't know why the hell I have to try and be logical about it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 19:36:30 GMT
I nodded faintly at her reasons. It logically did make sense that they break up, but that didn't cancel out the fact that she did love him. So maybe the whole thing wasn't for the better anyway. "Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.." I commented, shaking my head a little bit and standing up, so I could go and stand next to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 19:40:05 GMT
"Yeah, I know." I laugh slightly, blinking back a couple tears. "Stupid, isn't it?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 19:43:29 GMT
I smiled very faintly at her laugh and nodded, "Yeah." I agreed with her with a slight nod. Now that I was standing closer to her, I did see her blink back a couple tears and I decided to just go ahead and hug her. So shortly after agreeing with her I slowly pulled her closer to me and into a hug.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 19:51:45 GMT
I hug him back tightly, biting my lip and feeling grateful for the sympathy even if I claimed I didn't want it just a few minutes ago. "Thank you," I mutter, half trying not to cry any further but on the other hand not really caring.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 19:57:03 GMT
I nodded, "Anytime," I said quietly back to her, feeling her hug me back tightly. So I guess in this situation, it was alright to hug to her. I also guessed that it was safe to say just how upset she probably was right now.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Feb 23, 2009 20:02:03 GMT
I nod faintly as I pull away, thinking it would would probably be silly to say thanks again.
"Sorry about this," I say instead, drawing the side of my hand across my eyes.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Feb 23, 2009 20:07:00 GMT
I let her pull away and watched as she wiped her the back of her hand across her eyes. I shook my head at her apology though. "You don't really have a reason to be sorry."
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