Time for Goodbye``Riley

[Riyann Servansikk]

I stood directly infront of the door, wondering if I should even bother with this part and I hesitated before bringing my fist up and knocking it lightly against the door.

Biting my lip I took a faint step back, I shouldn't be here, at the front door waiting for either A: Riley to answer, or for B: His parents. Though I'm sure Riley would be better for me.
My wet hair clung to the sides of my face as I looked around at the darkened street. Just one of those muggy days that I was greatful for, I wasn't used to the light.
Looking down at myself I looked at the clean clothes I'd put on from home, the ones that hung loosely around my frame. And loosely was putting it rather lightly. My skin was no longer stained with dirt, and my hair wasn't tangled. I'd washed before coming here, made myself look presentable so that I could see the twins without them having to think of me just getting out of Azkaban, they probably hadn't even been told I was there, seeing as Riley was never very good at being the bearer of bad news. Even if his parents would probably be greatful I'd landed in Azkaban.
This was a bad idea, a very bad idea, I need to go. I felt sick all of a sudden, a small and sharp pain in my lower abdomin as I though about it and I moved my hand, pressing against the point where the pain was the greatest. I hadn't eaten since the last I had in Azkaban, maybe that was my problem.
"Come on, haven't got all day." I mumbled, my hood to my cloak was drawn up around my face to hide from anyone that could possibly know who I was and that I'd escaped just an hour or so ago.

[Riley Pearson]

"I got it, mum." I said to my mom as I walked through the house, "You guys just go ahead and have a good time." I told them smiling as I got closer to the door. They both nodded and thanked me and left out the kitchen door. They were going out to eat.. Some kind of.. date thing? I wasn't really positive, but I didn't blame them. If I was them, I would want away from us too. Having the girls and me and Justin here twenty-four-seven, was a lot of work, especially for my parents. They watched them when I went to work and when I had to go out and when I was watching them, my parents were usually still home and getting quite a large dose of the kids. They had to be sick of us by now.
Justin was asleep in his crib and the girls were in their room, doing who knows what. Hopefully nothing terribly illegal though. But knowing them, I really wouldn't put it past them. They can do quite a bit when they put their minds to it.
I walked infront of door, still smiling slightly as I opened it. I stared blankly at who I saw standing infront of. Riyann was standing right there. On my doorstep. Did she get out? Please say that she got out and she didn't do something completely and utterly stupid, like escape. I probably was frozen in my spot for a bit too long, before shaking my head faintly in confusion and stepping forward and hugging her. My guess was that she just got out.. which I was happy about. Mostly, at least, there was still a small part of me which was upset about it because she did kill my sister, but mostly, I was just happy she wasn't in there anymore.
True, I was getting over her. In fact, I think I was doing a pretty good job at it.
"How're you here?" I asked after a moment of hugging her. "You got out?" I asked a second later, hoping that she was going to say yes.

[Riyann Servansikk]

The door opened and I looked up sharply, praying it was Riley and not his parents, then again either of the girls would work too. He had opened the door smiling and then he was staring blankly at me. Did that mean he was expecting someone? I felt an all too familiar pang snap at my heart as I thought that, but I shouldn't have, because we were over and I was busy trying to get over him, though it seemed near impossible. So the next step would be to hate him.
He was frozen for a moment longer before shaking out of it and stepping forward, pulling my into a hug, his arms engulfing me, and I couldn't any longer look down and see the plain white t-shrit I was wearing, or the faded blue jeans, nor my bare feet. It's kind of cold out for that, wouldn't you think?
I didn't hug him back, I didn't want to. Why should I hug him back?
"I walked." I muttered, stating the obvious, he hadn't yet noticed June and I was wondering if that was a good thing or not. He asked if I got out and I didn't respond, looking into the house as if to ask if I could come in. "Can I see the kids?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

[Riley Pearson]

She didn't hug me back and she didn't answer my questions. The only answer I got seemed to be sarcastic and well.. I wasn't sure I liked it much. I hadn't expected her to be like this.. this wasn't exactly the Riyann that I remembered. When she didn't hug me or give me a real reply, I let go of her and stepped back a little bit, for the fist time seeing June.
Why was she here? Now that really made no sense at all. I had my eyes on June when Riyann asked me her next question. I shook my head faintly, "Yeah, course you can." I said stepping back into the house and moving out of the way.
"The girls are in their room.. and so is Justin actually." I told her nodding faintly. It's not like I could stop her from not seeing them. They were her kids too and I wanted her to be able to. I wasn't heartless.
"Happy to see me?" June asked me a moment later. I looked at her a moment, "No, not really." I told her, shaking my head a bit. She smirked and just shrugged toward me.

[Riyann Servansikk]

He let go and stepped back and I felt horrible for not saying anything, for not hugging back, for... Stop. I looked up at him as he did, and saw that he wasn't looking at me, not when I asked if I could see the kids, no, he was looking at June, honestly looking slightly surprised, and I almost wanted to laugh. Least Regan wasn't here as well, how would we explain that? Plus we'd draw more attention to ourselves as it is, so it was best that he was back at the house and June and I were her, for now at least.
"Thanks." I said as he said I could, and I watched him step back and move so I could walk past him.
Nodding when he told me that the girls were in their room, meaning Lil's old room, and Justin was there as well I stepped past him and slowly headed to the stairs. It was so weird, being able to see something other than looking past bloody bars all the time. Almost kind of foreign and scary.
At this moment I feel like throwing up, but I don't, because I want to see my kids, hell I'd kidnap them if I could, though it wouldn't really be kidnapping, except that I've only just escaped Azkaban and I'm sure they'd say it would be kidnapping.
Starting up the stairs I put my hand against the wall support some of my weight and I stopped after a moment, just moving and sitting down on a step, noticing that I'd only moved maybe a step or so, and that my feet were leaving water marks from the snow I'd walked through and that had melted on my feet.

[Riley Pearson]

"No problem." I told her with a faint smile to her, watching her start to walk up the stairs.
"I'll just make myself at home.." June said, walking in next and walking herself into the living room, not even waiting for a reply from me. Great, just who I want, roaming around the house. Good thing my parents left.
I looked away from June and put my eyes back on Riyann. But she wasn't walking up the stairs anymore. In fact, she was sitting at the bottom of them.
I shut the front door and then walked over to her. "Riy, something wrong?" I asked walking over to her and sitting down on the stair case. I was surprised that she wasn't already all the way up the stairs. I was expecting her to run up there.

[Riyann Servansikk]

He had said no problem and I had nodded, now I was just sitting on the stairs, leaning my head against the back of my hand, elbow propped against my knee. I had been feeling worse and worse as the days past and now, now it felt like I was burning up, dying just as I sat there and took simple breaths. It didn't make sense, I shouldn't feel like this, I had only been in Azkaban for how long? Actually it had been a while, and I didn't even know how long, not knowing times, days, and all the other stuff.
Shutting my eyes lightly I moved so that it was now my other hand pressed hard against my forehead, fingers cold and helping my aching head, my fever, everything. Well almost everything. I was still just as tired and I couldn't just stop here on the stairs. Hearing Riley I moved a little and looked up, letting my hands fall across my lap. "M'fine." I mumbled, waving it off briefly as I debated whether or not to risk getting up and possibly falling back or to just stay where I was for another little while.
Really either of the choices were fine by me, but did I really want to make a fool of myself in front of Riley? No, not really.
Did I want to see the twins and Justin? Definitely.
So I started pushing myself up standing up slowly, grasping the railing in my hand tightly. "M'fine. Everythings fine." I mumbled and turned, starting back up the stairs, trying not to think about how many I'd gone up and how many were left comparably to what I'd accomplished.

[Riley Pearson]

She definitely didn't look okay. No matter how many times she said it, I didn't think that everything was fine. In fact, it seemed far from fine. Not to mention that when she stood, she had to grasp onto the railing tightly so she wouldn't fall.
"Alright.." I bit my lip and nodded at what she said, slowing standing up after she did. If she was going to try and make it up the stairs, I was going to make sure she didn't kill herself in the process.

[Riyann Servansikk]

He didn't push and left it at that after saying alright, and for once I was glad, really glad, because I didn't have to worry about him not worrying about me constantly, well I could pretend he didn't, I'm sure he still did, especially after this, I mean look at me.
My eyes started to drop slightly and then I looked up, and then at my hand on the railing, my knuckles white from how hard I was grasping the rail.
Shivering faintly I felt my feet touch step after step and I wanted to just sit down again, but I didn't. How long was I there for? I guess it didn't matter, I guess for any amount of time you spend there it wears down on you.
Moving faintly slower I kept going up the stairs until I reached the top of them, only now noticing that Riley was following. If he hadn't been I'd take this chance to lean against the wall and catch my breath. Yes. This was a work out. But he was there and I didn't stop, because I didn't want him fretting over me. Moving to the door that I knew went to Lil's old room, I knocked against the door faintly with my knuckles, leaning half against the wall and doorframe.

[Riley Pearson]

I was worried. Needless to say, that's all I was thinking about right now. There was no way I was letting her out of this house before I checked her out. She was obviously either very sick, or very weak. Maybe a combination of both and I wanted to make sure she was alright before she did leave.
She finally made it up the stairs and I watched her knock on the door of where the girls were. That's when I took my cue and sat down at the top of the stairway.
I heard the door open once I looked away.
"Mum!" Lottie said exictedly, moving forward and wrapping her arms around her, closely followed by Ella, who gasped as she saw her mum. "Mummy, dad said you were in Azkaban, are you really out?" She asked hopefully looking up to her. "You'll be here right?"

[Riyann Servansikk]

Riley still managed to stay silent and I couldn't imagine why, though maybe he was waiting for me to see the girls and then he'd start on me. After all, that just seemed something Riley would do. Maybe.
The door opened and I smiled weakly, Char Lottie moving and hugging me tight the moment she saw me, and Ariella followed after. Moving a little I made it so that I could hug the both of them back. I listened to what Ariella asked, and then the second question. "Yes I'm out." I murmured softly, moving and kissing the top of their heads softly. "S'alright." I said with faint humor.
As for the second question, now came the hard part of being here. They didn't know I'd broken out, they didn't know that I was in there because I'd killed Lil in the first place. "I can't." I whispered softly, holding them both close to me, shutting my eyes lightly, hoping they wouldn't ask about it. "Mum's got some things she needs to take care of. It might be a while." I started to explain, doubting they'd listen much more. Especially after I said it might be a while, meaning it would more than likely be a while before I could come see them again too.

[Riley Pearson]

They both hugged her tightly, but when she said that it would be a while, they both pulled away faintly so they could look up at her. "What do you mean, Mum?" Ella asked looking at her before the both of them pulled her into the room and shut the door behind all of them.
"But you'll be back right?" Lottie asked her next, before moving closer to her and hugging her again, Ella following again.
[[ blah, short]]

[Riyann Servansikk]

They pulled back a little and Ella asked what I meant by that before I could even answer I had been pulled into the room and the door was shut behind me, giving me reason to sit down and lean against the door. "I've got a few things I need to do." I whispered.
Char moved closer to me as she asked that I'd be back and I nodded a little. I couldn't lie, but I couldn't tell them that I wouldn't see them again. What would I be doing? Just simply messing with their heads, and I wasn't about to do that, I would come back. I had to see them again, this was just an incase kind of thing.
"Course. I can't stay away too long." I whispered, feeling a few tears well up in my eyes and I hugged them both back, pulling them close to me, wanting to just move and fall asleep, but I wouldn't, not if it meant missing out on spending time with the girls, that and I still had to see Justin, see if he was going to speak like Riley said he could, well he'd at least spoken his first word. See if that was true, hear it for myself.

[Riley Pearson]

Both of the girls wiped their eyes of a couple tears that fell and nodded when Riyann said that she would be back and couldn't stay away long.
"Good." Lottie said with a small smile. "We missed you.." Ella said smiling as she and Lottie sat down on either side of her and leaned their heards against her. "How long are you staying?" Lottied asked a moment later with a small smile.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I smiled weakly towards them as they wiped their eyes of tears and felt a few more hot tears prick my own.
"I missed you more." I said with a faint laugh as they sat down on either side of me. Really, I think I had missed them more than they could ever imagine. Hell, I thought they had thought this whole time that I'd abandoned them.
That hadn't happened, well maybe for some of the time, but Riley had told them at some point. Hearing Lottie ask how long I was staying caused me to bite against my lower lip. I couldn't stay long, I had to be out of here as soon as I could. I had to go back to the house, get a few things and be off again to god knows where with Regan so we could both keep out of Azkaban. "Not long." I whispered softly. "Had to come say goodbye."

[Riley Pearson]

They giggled and shook their heads. "No, we missed you more." They said smiling brightly now. They really had oringinally thought that they had abandoned them, at least that was what Ella thought.
They both looked up to her. "Goodbye?" Ella asked, her smile falling some. "But you just got here.."
"Yeah.. You have to stay for at least a day." Lottie added, back to her.

[Riyann Servansikk]

"Now I can't believe that." I murmured softly with a small smile towards them. How could I? I up and left without a word when I told them I'd be back, and I was in Azkaban, meaning I couldn't be back at all. "Love you both more too." I said with a faint laugh.
I bit my lip softly. I knew I shouldn't have said that, why should I have? It's not like I could take it back now though, no matter how much I wanted too. "I know." Iwhispered softly and then I let a faint laugh pass my lips, one that wasn't filled with much humor, as Char Lottie said I had to stay for at least a day. I couldn't though.
"I can't." I whispered, turning and kissing the top of Charlotte's head and then the top of Ariella's. "I've got a few things that I need to do, and I can't stay in one place for too long." I whispered, moving and getting up slowly, deciding to walk over to the crib that Justin was in. I hadn't seen him for a long while and I wanted to. I had already missed so much, I didn't want to miss much more or happen to forget everything about him that I already knew. The pictures I had of the kids, those were still sitting in the cell back in Azkaban and I'd never have those again, I didn't have any others, definitely none of Justin, so I had to see him.

[Riley Pearson]

"But it's true." They giggled, smiling brightly. They really did miss her.. at least they missed her much more when they found out she was in Azkaban. Before that, they didn't really know what to think. Least Lottie didn't. Ella just assumed things to believe.
"Love you too." They both said back to her with a small smile.

She whispered that she couldn't and they both frowned to her, watching as she stood up an went over to Justin's crib. "But mum, we want you to stay. Please." Lottie said, following her over to the crib. "Yeah, mum, please, please, please." Ella said following her too. "We have to catch you up on everything." Lottie chimed in a moment later. She still wanted her mum back with her dad, and she wasn't planning on giving that up. She didn't want Arden and her dad together.

Justin was asleep, but moved slightly when Riyann came over to the crib and eventually opened his eyes, smiling lightly up to Riyann.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Alright alright, because I love you so much you can win." I whispered softly, shaking my head faintly. I doubt they'd ever be able to realize how much I had missed them, hopefully they'd never experience it first hand.
Wouldn't that be heartbreaking?
Well no. What would really be heartbreaking would be getting caught and put back in Azkaban again and they wouldn't even know it.
"I know you do." I said with a small smile to the both of them.
I didn't want to hear them begging for me to stay, it'd just make this all the more harder, and as it was I was risking a lot by just being here. They'd find out I was gone, well they already knew I was, and they'd come here firsthand, probably to inform Riley and his parents, and to search for me or something. This was by far the last place I should be.
Which was why it was the first.
"Catch me up on what?" I asked with a ghost of a laugh. There wasn't really much, not unless you count how big Justin was getting, how much bigger tehy were getting. Reaching down into the crib I picked up the awake Justin that was smiling faintly. He was so much bigger than I'd last seen him and I could feel my heart beat painfully at that fact. "Hey baby." I whispered, brushing a finger past his cheek as I turned to the twins.
"I can't stay." I whispered, shaking my head faintly. "You know I don't ever want to be away from you." I added, feeling my eyes well up slightly.

[Riley Pearson]

They laughed slightly and nodded, watching her closely.
They shrugged, "Just everything.." Ella said with a small shrug, looking over to her. Lottie looked down to the floor, sighing slightly with a small frown. "You know.. Dad and Arden." She said quietly, glancing over to her mum. "That's why you have to stay. You have to stop it." Lottied explained to her. Ella didn't comment on this and she just let her sister talk. She didn't mind Arden, even though she would rather have her mum, Arden was alright.
"Plus we're starting school soon.." Ella said a moment later. "Aren't you gonna come help us get ready and everything?" She asked a few moments later.
Justin gurgled slighlty with a small coo as Riyann picked him up. They both nodded when she said that she didn't want to be away and stayed quiet after that.

[Riyann Servansikk]

"Everything what?" I asked, really, there wasn't much that I could think of that would be new, well until I heard Charlotte say Dad and Arden, but I tried to brush it off like it was nothing, even though I had to shut my eyes to keep tears from rolling down my cheeks. I didn't even know if he had finished the divorce or not, the last time he'd seen me in Azkaban he was busy telling me he wasn't sure if it was a bloody mistake on his part.
If it wasn't for being in the same room as them, I'm sure I'd break right at that statement. This was so stupid, so unfair. I hated it, I hated that I signed the stupid fucking divorce papers, dropped them off.
I could feel a few tears slip down my cheeks, but I pretended they weren't there. That's why you have to stay. You have to stop it.
I didn't want to cry in front of them, but it was really quite inevitable, I was already sucking in a big breath because of the tears and sudden feeling of suffication.
"I'll be back." I whispered, trying to cover up the fact that I had started crying. "I'll by you new clothes, your first wands." I said with a faint smile, trying to stop crying. Of course how was that possible if I couldn't get a job because I was supposed to be in Azkaban? I wiped away my tears.
Justin gave a coo and I smiled softly, swaying slightly with him in my arms, moving and kissing him on the forehead.

[Riley Pearson]

They could tell something was wrong. And Lottie and Ella were pretty sure what it was. Well, maybe, all they could really do was just guess and assume things. Really, they didn't even know for sure that Riley and Arden were dating. They did see them kiss, but other than that, they had no proof.
They both nodded a little bit when she said that she would be back. "Okay.." Ella sad smiling faintly, hoping that she really would be back, the same hope that Lottie was having at the moment.

[Riyann Servansikk]

They hadn't said anything to the sudden tears that welled past my eyes, no, they had stayed silent and I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Good because it meant that they weren't going to push more and make it harder for me to forget. Bad because I didn't know what they were thinking.
I swear I'll kill her.
Yes. That is the first thing I need to do after getting out of Azkaban, going and killing Arden. Well she'd brought whatever happens on herself. I warned her to do nothing with Riley. But of course I had been in Azkaban and why should she believe me in the least? Stupid, dumb, I hate her so bad.
I could still feel a few more tears rolling down my cheeks, but I paid no mind to them anymore, just sucked in another breath to calm down and then looked at the pair, a ghost of a smile pressed tight against my lips.
"I promise." I murmured softly, nodding a little. They probably didn't really believe me, they didn't have reason to. Everytime I had ever made them a promise it seems like I'd just gone and broken it.
Looking down at Justin I smiled softly, wondering if he was going to speak at all, and if he didn't then I suppose that was fine. I'd see him sometime soon enough.

[Riley Pearson]

"Mum, what's wrong?" Lottie asked eventually, noticing her, seem to not be in the best moood. It was a mix of sad and angry maybe? The girls really weren't sure, but they were sort of worried.
They nodded when she promised. and they wanted to believe her, but they had to admit that it was hard to.
Justin smiled up to her and gurgled again, it almost sounded like he was going to say something, but they it didn't come out.

[Riyann Servansikk]

I shook my head slightly, knowing that if they weren't here right now I'd probably be bashing my head against something. If I hadn't of been so incredibly stupid to start off with nothing would've happened. I would never have cheated, Sydney would still be here, I wouldn't have become a death eater, or an order member, I would never have died. I wouldn't have pulled the last straw this time. Everything. It'd all be so perfect, but I could never change it and I was stuck having to deal with this, my 10 year old daughters telling me that Riley and Arden had at least been together at least once while I was in Azkaban, where I should still be because I was a rotten piece of scum. "N-nothing. S'alright." I mumbled softly, shaking my head a little bit again.
They nodded, and I hoped they believed me.
Hearing Justin gurgle slightly I smiled weakly, just watching him now. "Love you baby." I murmured

[Riley Pearson]

They both knew that it wasn't alright. How could it be if she was looking like this? I mean, she shouldn't be looking like this, she was home.. with them and they didn't really understand. Maybe it was because she had to leave? That's really all that they could think of.
"Is it because you have to leave?" Lottie asked a moment later with a small frown, looking up to her mom.
Justin giggled again and grabbed onto Riyann's finger.

[Riyann Servansikk]

Charlotte asked if something was wrong because I had to leave and I nodded faintly. "And your father, and other things." I whispered, looking at them, biting lightly against my lower lip as I had.
I never wanted to be like this when I was around them, I mean, whenever I was nothing could go wrong, well, hardly ever. So this was definitely different. Odd. Almost horrifying. Then again, it was almost horrifying that I'd just escaped Azkaban. Well, not horrifying for me at least. Maybe for a few select others. It wasn't like I was some huge threat at least.
Not in the least.
"It'll all be alright though." I added softly, smiling weakly now.
Justin giggled and then grabbed my finger, bring another faint smile to grace my lips.

[Riley Pearson]

They nodded a little bit, not sure if they should ask anymore questions. So they didn't and just stayed quiet now.
"... Can we do anything?" Lottie asked a moment or two later, keeping her eyes up on her mum.
They smiled weakly back and nodded slightly at what she said, even though they didn't know if they should believe her or not.
Justin gurgled again with a small smile, "Ga, Da.." He said with a small giggle.

[Riyann Servansikk]

They simply nodded and stayed silent for a moment more before Lottie asked if they could do anything and I laughed, shaking my head faintly. "Just promise to be good for your dad." I murmured softly, smiling weakly towards them. Really I'd rather they would hate his guts, but I couldn't wish that upon him. No, I still was madly in love with him.
"Hold in there until I get back." I added softly, looking down at Justin now as I spoke. "Take care of your brother."
Now I was just finding them things to do, mostly because I didn't want them to think too much about what if I didn't ever come back. I planned on it, just I had planned on visiting constantly after I signed the papers, but my plans were screwed up when I went to Azkaban, now you can never expect things to go the way you want them.
Now I could never expect things to go the way they should for me.
I smiled faintly down at Justin, but I could feel my heart break when he said Da, because really, Da didn't mean mum, not in the least. Biting my lip I forced the smile to stay across my lips. "Say mum Justin." I whispered softly as I looked down at him expectantly.

[Riley Pearson]

They nodded again, keeping a bit quieter now. They didn't realy have anything else to add. She asked them to be good.. and well, they might be and of course they would take care of their brother.
"Okay.." Both of them said quietly, looking up to her.
She asked Justin to say mum and Justin just gurgled a couple more times. "Gah!" He exclaimed with another giggle. "Da.." He said again smiling.