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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 20, 2008 2:33:53 GMT
She stepped backwards slightly, shaking her head and my heart dropped slightly more. Just because I initiated this did not mean it wasn't killing me to cause all of this. ".. I'm sorry, Riyann.." I said quietly, glancing to the floor up looking up to her eventually.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 20, 2008 2:38:19 GMT
"This time," I started slowly, moving my head up slightly, locking my eyes with him, "just save it." I whispered, feeling several more tears fall. I took another step backwards, about to turn around and leave, and I would if he didn't have anything else to say.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 20, 2008 2:41:39 GMT
I nodded faintly, my eyes falling to the floor for a moment, staying quiet for a little bit. A few more tears fell, ".. Can I just.. k-kiss you, one last time?" I asked her quietly, trying to swallow a knot in my throat.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 20, 2008 2:47:39 GMT
I felt my heart fall even more at his question, knowing desperately that I wanted to say yes. I just couldn't, it would be too much and it would tear at me even more. "G-goodbye." I whispered softly, turning fully now and starting slowly out of the kitchen now, feeling more hot tears spill past my eyes now as I did so.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 20, 2008 2:53:45 GMT
A few more tears fell as she said goodbye and I dropped my eyes to the floor. ".. I'm sorry." I said again very quietly, letting a very faint sob out at the words. I grabbed the baby carrier as I wiped my face and turn around, starting to walk out of the kitchen with it, not being able to look back at her before I did.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 20, 2008 2:59:56 GMT
"I know." I whispered, not looking back at him, wondering how that was going to affect him, me saying no to one last kiss. I just couldn't. We were already over, I was hurt enough by that, and it would just be worse for me. That's all I was worried about at this moment. He brought whatever he was feeling onto himself.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 20, 2008 3:09:07 GMT
I wanted us to work. More than people would probably think. Especially after what I just did. But it was completely true. I tried my best to keep us together over the years, actually probably harder than I should have. As I gathered the girls and their things and Justin with his things, I vaguely wonder if this is what Riyann felt like those couple times she tried to leave me. I know what she's feeling right now considering how much I loved her when she did it to me, but I don't feel like this one works the same way around.
I also was thinking that it was really over. This was final. At least it seems like it was final right now. Not like the other times when we got back together, when I made us get back together. Riyann was always saying when I wanted it over, it was over and I doubted that she was going to come back on at promise.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 21, 2008 0:10:56 GMT
Moving after he left the kitchen I moved too and headed for the bedroom, our old room, tears falling down my cheeks lightly as I did. Now that I thought about it, maybe if he did want to come back I'd be willing to let it, only because this hurt more than anything and I loved him so much. Just, it was all up to him, and I had a feeling we were just over.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 21, 2008 0:14:55 GMT
I glanced back to her, hearing her walking through the room and watched her go, to where I was assuming our old room. I torn my eyes away from her after a few seconds and glanced back down to the floor before shutting the door behind me.
[end thread? lol]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 21, 2008 0:17:43 GMT
Stepping into the bedroom I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, sliding it after a split second, more tears falling past my face. I'd always known that someday it really was going to be over, just because Riley had to deal with so much with me. And now I wish I'd never thought that, because maybe I wouldn't have made it so hard for him, and we'd still be together.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 21, 2008 0:24:29 GMT
After I shut the door behind me, I stayed by it for a moment, wiping away a couple more tears that fell down my cheeks. I hated that I just did that, I really hated it, but I didn't think I could stay with her after this. I still really loved her, but this was just too much. I was really hoping that soon I would just find out that there was something that would be able to change my mind about this, but right now I was sort of doubting it. Eventually one of the girls tugged on my hand and I was pulled from my thoughts and followed the two of them, carrying Justin as I walked.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 21, 2008 0:27:33 GMT
[]
After leaning against the door for a while I moved, stood up, letting the tears fall freely and just went for the bed, grabbing a pillow, held it against my stomach and curled into a ball on the bed, deciding that was the most productive I would be for the next day or so, and then I'd be up again and worrying about new things, doing more things that involoved no longer thinking about Riley. That alone would be heave for a while.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 21, 2008 0:29:06 GMT
[ lol.. and mkay ^^ ]
[[ poor riyann ]]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 21, 2008 0:30:32 GMT
[[New thread?]]
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