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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 4:48:01 GMT
"Fine." I said again, shaking my head before turning around and starting to walk towar the girl's room so I could get them.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 4:50:52 GMT
I could feel a few more tears fall down my cheeks as I moved and let my head hit lightly against the wall.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 4:58:11 GMT
I didn't want this to go this way. I wanted to be in and out, but I guess it wasn't that easy. I was trying to be civil with her, I didn't want to be mean to her.. taken I wasn't exactly being nice.. but you know what I mean. I think I was being nice for the situation. I even said that she could have the girls stay with her. I didn't know what else I could do.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 5:01:16 GMT
I figured that he was going to get the kids and up and leave, they weren't going to know I was here, they weren't going to know anything was wrong for the next while. Maybe they would know and they hate me, and they'd just forget about. Justin wouldn't have to even know me. I'd be good as dead to them. What I should be.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 5:09:55 GMT
I walked back to their room when she didn't say anything else or stop me. I saw the two of them sitting next to eachother on Ella's bed, not really saying anything to eachother. They didn't know what was wrong yet. They obviously knew something was, but I never got around to telling them, which I wasn't sure if was good or bad.
I wiped a few more tears off my face and moved them out of the room, shutting off the light when we were out and they had the things they wanted to take. They knew we were staying at my parents house, but that was pretty much it.
I wondered if Riyann assumed I was just going to leave with them. But that wasn't the case today. They hadn't seen her I don't know how long and if she wasn't going to show up and visit them, I wanted her to tell them that she loved them and I wanted her to say that she was going to come and see them. I didn't want them to think that she didn't love them. That really was on the last things that I would want.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 15:07:41 GMT
I looked over at the doorway to only see the twins and Riley and I could feel a few more tears slide down my face. I didn't want for Riley to leave, but I didn't want the kids the leave either. Not knowing what to say, or if I could speak as it was, I stayed silent and just looked at them.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 15:15:51 GMT
Both the girls had a few tears on their cheeks and they kept their eyes on their mum when she didn't say anything to them and just looked. I stayed quiet for a moment and sighed slightly, looking at Riyann now too. "You're going to see them soon, right Riyann?" I asked looking over to her.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 15:23:05 GMT
I hated him for doing this, and then adding on top of it bringing the girls to come and see me and making me say that I'll come see them. The only problem was was that I didn't want too, because that would mean going to see Riley, I didn't want to, I did, just the fact that he hated me for what I had done was why I didn't want to. For now I would pretend Riley wasn't even there, pretend he hadn't said anything. My eyes still on the girls I saw tears on their cheeks and frowned slightly. "Come here." I murmured softly, hoping they would instead of staying where they were.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 15:26:11 GMT
She ignored what I said. Actually she basically ignored me in general.
The girls looked up at me for a second when Riyann asked them to go toward her and I nodded a little bit. They walked over to her, Ella wiping off her cheeks as she went. They walked up infront of her, waiting for her to say whatever it is that she was going.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 15:33:14 GMT
I could feel my heart skip a painful beat when they looked up at Riley after I asked them to come towards me, and I glanced away slightly, pretending not to notice it. I moved slightly after the moved closer to me, and I was sitting on my knees now instead as they stood in front of me. "I love you both." I murmured softly as I pulled them into a hug, kissing them both on the side of the head.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 15:38:54 GMT
They both looked at her as she moved and they nodded a little bit when she told them that she loved them. "Love you too." They both said, not exactly at the same time, but close to it, back to her, both of them hugging her tightly back. "Mum, why can't you come with us?" Ella asked her frowning slightly as she looked at her. Lottie was still standing there glancing to Ella and then to her mum. Lottie was pretty sure what was happening, at least some of it.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 15:47:47 GMT
I let a shakey breath pass my lips, but I smiled a little, and turned slightly, burrying my head against Ariella's hair and her neck, hugging them both tight. I pulled away slightly and looked at the both of them, feeling a few more tears fall at Ella's question. I didn't want to tell them, I didn't want to face the truth of it, I'd rather they knew and didn't have to ask questions. Wording it would be tricky, I didn't want her to think it was their fault, I didn't want her to think it was something they could've prevented, because really that was only something I could've prevented. "I love you so much." I whispered softly, pulling the both of them into another tight hug.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 15:54:32 GMT
They hugged her tightly back again when Riyann hugged them again. Ella nodded again but Lottie shook her head, a few more tears falling down her face. "Then come with us." She said wiping her cheeks off slightly roughly. Ella glanced to her sister and then back to her mum, staying silent now.
[[ i can't think of posts... lol.. i'm not good at talking for the twins, lol ]]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 15:57:57 GMT
"Dad-daddy and I are having problems." I whispered softly, frowning slightly, not wanting to have said it, but I did. They shouldn't have to go through this, they really shouldn't.
[[Me neither.. and you're doing fine ;D]]
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 16:06:45 GMT
They both looked at her, small frowns still on their faces. They shook their heads slightly, wiping their cheeks again. "So fix them." Lottie said to her shaking her head a bit more now. Lottie and Ella didn't understand. They never got to see their mum and they wanted to. So naturally they didn't want their parents to be having problems. But they obviously were going to if their mum actualy told them they were having problems. They never got to know what exactly was going on, so it was scaring them that they were actually told something.
[[ lol.. okay.. thanks you xD [[
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 16:12:50 GMT
Biting my lip softly I cast my eyes downward slightly, feeling even more guilty now. "I-I don't think that can happen this time." I whispered softly, glancing up at Riley for the first time since they had stepped into the kitchen. There wasn't even a small bit of hope that we could fix it this time, and I'd just told them that, and I felt horrible for doing so. Maybe it was better though, I didn't want to give them blind hope when it wasn't possible, their hearts would be broken even more. If they knew there was no hope of it, maybe they'd get over it faster. Even though that meant not seeing me, at least not that often, and they had grown up around me all their life, Riley was always working when they grew up, but they still got to see him. Now it was more Riley for them to see, and they'd hardly ever get to see me.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 16:20:15 GMT
I saw her glance up to me and I looked back at her, frowning slightly. I doubted we could fix things this time, but as much as I didn't think we could, I really did still love her and that was obvious to me when she looked up to me. A few more tears fell down my face and I kept my eyes on her as she looked back to the girls.
"So then try." Ella said, shaking her head a little bit. Lottie who was next to her, grabbed onto the locket that she always wore now and held it in her hand. "We never get to see you anymore. We want you to come with us."
Lottie frowned slightly and glanced down to the floor. She knew that it wasn't going to happen.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 16:25:24 GMT
I let another shakey breath pass my lips and I could feel a few tears falling again, and I felt like they'd never stop.
"Promise." I murmured softly, kissing Ella's forehead lightly after she'd shaken it slightly and then I turned my eyes to Lottie, and frowned slightly at the locket, feeling my heart skip another painful beat. "I'll visit, lovely, you'll see." I whispered softly. I'd only do it when Riley was at work though. I don't know if I'd be able to stand it if he was there.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 16:32:40 GMT
She nodded a little when she said that she promised and then they both nodded agian when she said that she would visit. A moment or two after she spoke, they both went a little closer to her and hugged her again. They didn't think that it was be this bad. They kind of thought something was going on when Riyann wasn't around a lot, but they never imagined it would feel like this when it happend.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 16:34:53 GMT
They came closer and hugged me again and I hugged them both back tight, not wanting to let them go, because really, I missed seeing them probably more than they missed seeing me. I was surprised they hadn't blammed this all on me, which they should've, because it was my fault, just like all the other times.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 16:40:49 GMT
I watched them, feeling a more tears falling. I felt another small knot form in my throat and I leaned against the doorway, sliding down it and sitting on the floor. I tried to stay silent, but I couldn't breath very well due to the fact that I was trying to hold back all my tears. Maybe this was a mistake. A big mistake. I didn't even know the reason why she killed Lilian. But it was too late now.
The girls hugged her back tightly, crying a little more now. They didn't really feel like letting go either. I glanced over to them, before leaning my head down against my knees.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 16:45:45 GMT
I heard Riley moving, but didn't bother with looking over to him right now, for now I was only worried about the girls. "I love you both." I whispered, holding them tight to me still, not planning on letting them go any time soon, I shouldn't have too. They were my kids too. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 16:53:25 GMT
They nodded more, keeping their arms around her, saying it back to her. "I love you too mummy." They said again, not moving yet.
I leaned my head against the doorway, crying a bit more. I didn't want to do this. I really didn't and I hoped that Riyann knew that. She probably didn't since we didn't really talk, but I didn't. The longer I sat here though, the more this was tearing me apart. Maybe this was a mistake. A really huge mistake on my part.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 17:02:48 GMT
"I know." I whispered. "I know." I repeated, even softer, kissing them on the cheek again, and again. "It'll be alright." I murmured softly, "Promise." I knew I'd have to go see them, more than I'd been coming back, and if Riley was there, then fine, just so that I could see them, so that it really could be alright.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 17:07:21 GMT
They nodded again, hugging her tighter if possible. They really had no choice but to believe her. Well they had the choice to not believe her, but why would they want to do that? Believing was the better option.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 17:14:29 GMT
I bit my lip softly and pulled away from the hug slightly, knowing that they wouldn't want me too, but I figured that it'd be best, it'd be easier for me. "I'll come see you tomorrow." I whispered softly, frowning slightly.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 17:18:41 GMT
They slowly pulled away from her when she started to pull away from the hug and nodded again when she said she'd visit them tomorrow. "Promise?" Lottie asked quietly, my hand still gripped around the locket.
I looked over to them again and slowly stood up, taking in a breath and letting out a quiet slightly shaky one.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 17:26:36 GMT
I nodded slightly. "Promise." I murmured softly, kissing her forehead lightly, and then Ella's, hearing Riley starting to stand up now, but I didn't turn to look at him, knowing that I'd only be worse off if and when I did. "Be good now." I whispered softly, hugging them lightly again and pulling back again. After I did, my eyes went to the ring on the floor, Riley's ring and I could feel tears starting to well up again before I picked it up lightly in my hand.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 17:31:19 GMT
They both nodded again and they hugged her back again when she hugged them. "Okay.." They said quietly. "Love you." They said again before pulling away slightly again. They saw her pick up the ring and with that they walked over to me. I went to put my hands on their backs, about to hug them, but they both pulled away from me.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 17:38:27 GMT
"Love you too." I whispered back to them, watching as they walked over to Riley, only now looking at him again, just to watch them leave. They pulled away from him and I bit my lip, hating that they were now mad at him, that he was leaving me. That I'd been stupid once again. "Love you." I murmured now, not sure if it was directed to the girls or Riley. Then I realized I hadn't even seen Justin, even if he wasn't going to remember me.
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