|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 18, 2008 17:43:39 GMT
They looked back at her again before walking out the door and I looked at her again, a few more tears falling as I did. ".. Love you." I said quietly, looking at her again before walking out of the door. I turned around before I left. "I'll get Justin for you if you want.." I said quietly to her, looking at the floor for a moment.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 18, 2008 17:45:58 GMT
I leaned over, curling up slightly to cry even more, feeling the tears continue to fall, even more so after Riley said he loved me. This was literally going to kill me if it continued. "Please." I asked in a small whisper, wanting to see him.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 14:58:59 GMT
I nodded and walked out of the kitchen and over to Justin's room. I picked him up out of his crib and started to walk back toward the kitchen. It was tearing me apart seeing her like this, still, even now that I know she killed my sister, I still loved her and knowing that she still really loved me was making this all the more difficult.
I walked into the kitchen seeing Riyann and went over to her with Justin. Sitting down on the floor I handed him off to her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 15:05:48 GMT
I wish he would just tell me that he hated me, it'd work out far better for me, because then I wouldn't be able to think of how bad this was my fault, that I'd finally driven him away from me, even as he still was in love with me.
Hearing Riley's footsteps coming back I tried wiping away as many more tears as I could, wishing that I didn't have to show how much this really was tearing at me. He sat down on the floor in the kitchen with me before handing Justin towards me and I took him, craddeling him close to me as I looked down at him, feeling the tears still coming. "H-hey baby." I whispered softly between my tears, managing a small and forced smile as I looked down at Justin.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 15:15:00 GMT
I watched her as she took Justin in her arms and then watched as she looked down at him with some tears still rolling down her cheeks. I saw Justin grab onto some of her hair for a moment, tugging on it slightly before I looked away and down at my hands. I looked at where my ring used to be, my finger feeling weird from having it gone and touched over the spot for a moment.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 15:23:50 GMT
Justin's hand reached up and grabbed a small clump of my hair lightly and then tugged at it lightly and I smiled slightly now and it was real this time, tears fell slightly faster as he did this too. The arm that was holding Justin still had Riley's ring clamped tight in my hand and I just tried ignoring that I held it. Leaning forward slightly I moved and pressed my lips lightly to the top of Justin's forehead, and he took this as a chance to grab some more of my hair, closer to the top of my head, so that I couldn't pull back as easily.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 15:28:20 GMT
I looked over to them again, seeing Justin having grabbed another small part of her hair so it was a bit more difficult for her to move back. I smiled faintly, sniffing a little bit from having been crying a little too much.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 15:31:44 GMT
I heard Riley sniffling slightly and I just brought my hand to wipe my face clear slightly, still watching Justin, smiling slightly. "I love you baby." I murmured softly and sniffled slight myself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 15:37:46 GMT
I looked away again, hearing her mumble that she loved him and looked back down at my hands. I glanced around the floor, not seeing my ring.. then wondering if maybe Riyann was holding it. I was starting to feel horrible how I went about this whole thing, like how I just dropped it on the floor. I could've just as easily handed it to her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 15:41:27 GMT
I moved and kissed his forehead again before pulling back and starting to tickle his hand lightly in hopes of him letting go of my hair, and his grip did lighten, just enough so that I could pull back some, but he still held some and I smiled a little. "It's going to be alright." I murmured softly with a small grin, now trying to forget the past hour and just focus on this.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 15:45:30 GMT
I wiped my cheeks again as I sat there listening to Riyann, glancing over to her occassionally. She'd manged to get her hair mostly back and was grinning softly to Justin, saying that it was going to be alright. Kind of funny how things like that happen, usually I'm the one saying that. Usually I'm not the one who's causing all the pain to happen.. with them and me.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 15:53:49 GMT
I was surprised Riley hadn't already left and taken the kids by now. I knew how hard it was to just sit there after saying it was over, hell I never lasted that long. "You're going to take care of daddy for me, right baby?" I asked softly, feeling a few more tears fall as I asked that, biting my lip in hopes of stopping them.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 16:01:13 GMT
I heard what she said next and felt another knot form in my throat holding back a small sob, and hopefully staying quiet. I took in a deep breath, letting out a slightly shaky one in return. I really did never realise how difficult this was to stay here after ending it. Mostly probably becasue I've never ended it before.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 16:03:28 GMT
Either I didn't realize how bad it was getting to Riley with what I was saying, or I didn't care. Now that I thought about it, it was both, at first I hadn't realized it and now I almost just couldn't care, but I did, because I was so in love with him, but I'd have to get over that, obviously.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 16:07:23 GMT
I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my head in them, trying not to think about what was happening. It surprisely helped a little bit, which was more than I was expecting it to do and I closed my eyes taking in antoher small breath.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 16:16:07 GMT
Now I was all the more tempted to keep saying things that would hit Riley pretty hard, but I wasn't going to, instead I stayed silent and rocked Justin slightly in my arms.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 16:19:56 GMT
I leaned against the wall that was behind me and moved my head against it, a few more tears falling down my face. I was sort of glad she stopped talking because it really was just making it worse for me.. not that this wasn't already horrible for both of us. Probably more so for her though because I know what it feels like and it's not something that I ever wanted to put her through. Never say never I guess though.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 16:22:25 GMT
"When're you leaving?" I asked softly, wondering if it was going to be soon, or if I'd get to be with Justin and the twins for a while longer. I didn't mean the question to tell him to leave either.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 16:25:14 GMT
"Whenever you want me to." I said quietly, looking at the floor before glancing over to her face. "There's no rush.. Can even leave the kids here for a while and come back later if you want.."
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 16:38:05 GMT
I wanted to tell him to leave, but I didn't because that would mean I'd really be losing him. Looking up I saw him glance over at me and I turned my eyes back to Justin. "Doesn't matter." I whispered, wondering if Riley was going to start the whole order up again now that he had no reason not to, asides from me being on the other side.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 16:43:12 GMT
I shook my head, "Yes it does, Riyann." I said, looking over to her again. "If you want more time with the kids, I can just come back later.. or tomorrow." I really don't know how I couldn't trust her with the kids, I knew she wouldn't let anything happen to them. Actually this whole thing really wasn't an issue of trust.. it was just I couldn't get hurt like this anymore, no matter how much I loved her. Probably a huge mistake on my behalf, but like I alreayd thought, too late.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 16:49:08 GMT
Was he really going to get worked up over me saying that it didn't matter? "No it doesn't." I said with an exasperated sigh. I didn't want to fight with him. "Just take them with you and leave." I said, turning my eyes away from both him and Justin, feeling a few more hot tears fall. I needed some time alone as it was.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 16:53:59 GMT
I looked at her at what she said. I guess this was my cue to stand up and leave her alone in our house... In her house? A few more tears fell and I nodded, "Whatever you want.." I said in a hushed tone, standing up from where I was sitting slowly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 19, 2008 17:04:20 GMT
I was surprised and almost mad at how nice he was being about this. He was the one leaving me he should've already been gone, he shouldn't do whatever I want, he should be doing the opposite to terrorize me. He started to stand up and I could only tell because I heard him starting to stand up, and I moved and kissed Justin several times on the forehead.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 19, 2008 17:09:06 GMT
I walked over to his room one more time and grabbed his things real quick, making sure I had everything before walking back to the kitchen. I set down his things on the table, getting his carrier ready so I could put him in it when Riyann was done.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 20, 2008 2:11:55 GMT
I took a deep breath, hearing him leave now, and shut my eyes for a moment before opening them and looking down at Justin. "Mum loves you." I whispered softly down close to Justin's ear, hearing Riley coming back into the kitchen now. "I love you."
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 20, 2008 2:17:48 GMT
I listened to what she saying to Justin, trying not to look up to her or in her direction. I kept my eyes on the carrier and just stood there, looking at my hands and the floor occassionally, just waiting for her to be done. I didn't want to take him away from her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 20, 2008 2:22:37 GMT
I sat there for a moment more, holding Justin in my arms before moving and standing up slowly and then, keeping my eyes on Justin, I moved slowly towards Riley. I didn't want to look up at Riley, mainly because it would hurt even more, that and I wanted so badly to just kiss him. That wouldn't happen again, probably never.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 20, 2008 2:27:28 GMT
She walked over to me with Justin and I glanced over to her before walking a little closer to her and moved to take Justin out of her arms gently. When I had him I put him in the baby carrier. Once he was in, I bit my lip slgihtly and looked at Justin a little longer before turning faintly more toward Riyann.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 20, 2008 2:31:17 GMT
I watched Justin move from my arms to Riley's and I bit my lip softly, feeling my hair fall into my face as I cast my head downwards again. Riley turned slightly towards me and I shook my head slightly, stepping backwards now, wanting to get out of the room, wanting to just go hide in the bedroom and pretend this never happened.
|
|
