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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 27, 2014 21:24:04 GMT
((So this is in the kitchen, as per usual, and I’m going to assume they’ve been talking for a little while about nothing in particular. I also kind of god-moded you a little, ‘cause I had to set it up properly, but if you want me to change any of what he says or does I can.))
“So.” I stand, taking a deep breath and tugging/smoothing my clothes back into perfection – the better to highlight the absurdity of what I’m about to do.
Riley quirks an eyebrow expectantly, while I take another breath to calm the trembling. I also cross my arms, then worry that looks... wrong. Mean and unapproachable, like I’m about to pick a fight. I can’t uncross them, though – not unless I back against the wall, to feel its solid weight instead of open and vulnerable air.
Riley is beginning to look (nervous/worried/uneasy?) This wouldn’t be the first time I tore apart someone I cared for with no explanation or warning. I close my eyes for the space of another breath, launching into it before I lose heart.
“So Laken got asked out by that creepy guy who lives next door to Chance and never speaks and has a lot of throwing stars embedded in his door because he clearly gets a tickle from taunting administration about the laxness of their ‘anti-Chosi’ policy –“ I have to take a breath again, having said this in a rush that I’m not certain he’s deciphered ‘til he nods.
“Trevor Herbert? He’s in my English class. He draws a lot and doesn’t talk much.” He turns so very serious it can only mean he’s not. “Do you want me to give him a talking to? You-break-her-heart-I-break-your-legs?”
I grin involuntarily, shaking my head against the rush of affection. “No, that’s fine. I think he’s harmless, really. Or at least he is to Laken. I think he’d break his own legs if he hurt her.” I breathe deeply yet again, chest starting to burn from all these intakes of cold air. “No, see, the thing is... I think Anjra felt a little left out. You know – seventeen and never been kissed, especially considering that Chance and I have –“
Oh, dear lord in heaven. Why, why did I say that? I only meant that we each have, not that it was each other. Even though it was.
I shake my head and hurtle on, looking past his shoulder so I don’t have to see his rejection – reaction.
“So Anjra has decided that we have to get dates, too. All of the Pirate Gang going out together. Or on the same night anyway, not like a group thing. And Chance was all set to blow up at her for making him talk to a girl, but it really seems important and you know how she can get, so –“ I close my eyes again with a brief and voiceless prayer, before finally looking back at Riley’s face. “Wi’you – would you be willing to go out with me next Saturday?”
I think I am going to pass out now.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 28, 2014 0:03:07 GMT
Arden stood up from her seat, smoothing her not-so-wrinkly clothing down once she did. Suddenly, she seemed kind of fidgety and well, to be honestly, Riley really wasn't sure why. Things had calmed down between the two of them since kissing. Of course, he still had feelings for her- whether they were being returned was beyond him. It wasn't something he was rushing into - slow and steady wins the race, right?
Riley felt a bit uneasy at how she was acting. Honestly, he didn't know what she was going to say and it always made him worry some about what was about to follow. Arden eventually launched into an explanation. Hearing her start off, he relaxed a little. It was good to know everything was still okay between them- and also, that it seemed Laken had an admirer (he did silently hope that the kid was stable, but Trevor really probably was harmless).
"Do you want me to give him a talking to?" Riley asked her seriously, "A You-break-her-heart-I-break-your-legs sorta thing?" He was kidding- though he would totally do such a thing if the situation called for it. Riley felt he was pretty capable in a situation like such.
Riley grinned some back to her- he was entirely relaxed now, but sort of confused why she was bringing it up.
Did she just say that Chance and her kissed? Did she mean recently? Or, did it mean just that they both had been kissed, in general? Riley felt some jealously spike up, but tried to push the feelings aside. He wanted her to be happy- he wouldn't ruin this for her if that were happening. He was sort of thankful she was looking over his shoulder and not at his face just in case it was showing. His jealousy, that is.
It didn't match up though- what he was thinking- with what she begining to say. They were all getting dates, but it wasn't a group date, and it sort of sounded like the rest of them were taken. She looked back at his face when she asked the question. It took him a moment to answer her because, well, he wasn't expecting to be asked. He would be lying if he said a couple dormat butterflies flew around his stomach as he looked her in the eyes. "Of course," He smiled, smoothing some hair down the back of his head, leaning onto the table in front of him. She smoothed her clothes and he smoothed his hair.
He couldn't decide if he was being asked out as a friend, or as more than a friend, but it didn't matter either way because he would say yes, regardless. Although, he hoped for the latter.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 28, 2014 0:21:52 GMT
The second I've said it, I want to take it back. Terrible idea, never should've entered my head because now it's all ruin and disaster and I'm going to change my mind and break his heart and he doesn't want me anyway so that'll -
"Of course," he says, breaking through my panic with a smile, like this is all so simple and it doesn't even require any thought. He's smiling and my face does so, too, without any input from me, because I haven't fully registered that - that he said 'of course.'
I duck my head and try to contain the grin, then look back up and breathe. "Really?" I ask automatically, unable to accept it at face value - and trying to push down the dread. You're going to screw this up you're going to hurt him and yourself you're going - I shake my head to make it go away, pushing back mentally with the half-hearted platitudes drilled into me by friends. You're fine and good and lovely and you're only going to ruin it if you think you're going to ruin it.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 28, 2014 0:33:00 GMT
For Riley, it honestly didn't require any thought. Or at least, he was choosing to ignore over-thinking the situation part- which, let's be honest, was kind of new for him. It also helped that he liked her. He really didn't have a reason to say no.
Arden smiled back to him and for a moment, he was unable to take his eyes off of hers. Maybe that was corny, but it really would have been a challenge to move them.
"Really?" She asked when he gave his reply and he nodded while saying, "Yes." For a very small moment, he considered giving her some kind of joking sarcastic answer, but figured now wasn't the best time to utter any type of the word 'no'- even if he would have been kidding.
Riley wanted to ask what kind of date this was going to be, but he felt uncertain about bringing it up. Now really wasn't the time to scare her away with a question like that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 28, 2014 0:44:49 GMT
Well. Well, that's... that's no reason to stop smiling, certainly, but of course I do anyway. If I ever needed proof that I am broken, this is it - I shouldn't be this scared because he likes me back.
I swallow hard. Maybe that's it, of course. Does he like me back? Does he really, I mean, and not just as a friend? We work as just friends; we're good at being friends. But this... this kind of nonsense... has always screwed us up. And how do I know that I'm not just repeating the same mistake? I already did this with Chance - danced around a little mutual crush, then made the first move and realized belatedly I didn't really feel what I thought I did. What if I've messed up again?
"Well...." I say finally, swallowing again. It feels like forever since he spoke, but I think it's only been a few seconds. And I genuinely can't think of anything else to say.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 28, 2014 1:17:53 GMT
There they were again- those pesky butterflies. Riley was very much someone who fell pretty fast, literally and figuratively. He heard the silence fall after her single word reply and softly grinned her way, shuffling the hair at the nape of his neck for a moment. He knew he shouldn't be afraid to speak, but the only things he could think to say were things he didn't want to bring up just yet... but, really, the replies would probably be the same regardless of when the question was asked.
He knew they didn't have the best record for situations like this- but he couldn't help but think this time would be different. For one, they were both single, so at least they started off on the right foot there.
"Right..." He trailed off as well, searching for what to say next. Okay, screw it, he was going to ask. It could a short moment to muster up the courage. "So, is this, you know... a date kind of date?" Riley asked kind of slowly, looking over to her. As soon as he said it, he almost wished he hadn't- but he decided it would be a good thing to know- even if asking did sort of lead to expressing feelings. All he could think about was what happened last time he did that. Riley had realized that although it may be awkward for a little while, they would eventually get over it. He hoped they would recover like the other time, if that were the case.
He played with his fingers and nails some- a nervous habit that went along with messing up his hair. "I mean, I want it to be," He added, looking from his hands back to her, "but I am okay with whatever you're thinking. Really." He decided he wanted her to know that- and that it would make everything a bit easier if he admitted to his feelings first since she did the actual asking. Riley didn't want to her think he was accepting her offer and sort of rejecting her at the same time- it was anything but rejection.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 28, 2014 2:50:09 GMT
Oh, god. And if that's not a heart-stopping question, I don't know what is. I'm so busy being terrified that he didn't even know what he was agreeing to that the clarification all but washes over me. Because now I have to answer that, and it's awkward, and I'm scared that if it's awkward that will mean that I've screwed up.
And then I close my eyes, taking a breath and clenching my fists to release some of the tension. This is Riley, not Chance, and that makes all the difference. Riley is easy to talk to. Riley is ridiculous, and so punny I want to stab him half the time, but only with a glare 'cause he's so nice I can't be violent, and Riley isn't Chance.
I take another breath and try a smile, which feels weak and rusty and oh-so-very hesitant. "Well, that was the point of the nervousness," I manage, sounding half out of breath. "of course it's a date-date, or I would've just asked you to hang out and said Anjra is being ridiculous. But she said it has to be real, not just... not just friends, so now I'm being absurd and you should probably run away." I smile again more genuinely, hoping it conveys what I find too corny to say: You should probably run away, but you won't, 'cause you don't do that. Even when I push you, you don't go away, and that's why I don't mean it when I say you should.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 28, 2014 22:12:08 GMT
Riley wasn't entirely sure that Arden heard everything he had said- or maybe she just didn't process it before she gathered her thoughts to speak. It was his fault for asking the question first instead of second. Regardless though, he was relieved to hear that it was a date-date. Also, he was suddenly nervous because he hadn't been on a date in some time and this was Arden and it was finally happening.
She smiled and he felt a light grin form on his face in return- amused at how she told him that he should probably run away. He was sure that Arden knew very well he wouldn't be running. Not away from her, at least.
Riley was having a hard time deciding what he wanted to say, "That's what I was hoping you'd say," He smiled. "... not the running away part", he added with small laugh.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 29, 2014 1:58:27 GMT
I grin involuntarily again, shaking my head at his clarification. "Well, I would hop not," I manage, knowing it's not much of a reply but completely at a loss otherwise. I want to add something, something about how he doesn't run away and how that's nice, but the words to convey it aren't coming.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 29, 2014 2:13:04 GMT
Riley grinned back to her and for a moment, it seemed like this was the most smiling they had ever done around each other in quite some kind. He made a mental note that he liked it, and tried to grasp for something to say next.
Unfortunately, nothing was coming and he could feel an awkward silence rolling in like a thick fog in a horror movie, the ones that are so bad, they are actually kind of good.
He hoped it wouldn't be this quiet when they went out.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 29, 2014 5:51:20 GMT
And this is where Chance and I would get silent and weird and then pretend the last five minutes didn't happen....
I duck my head again, coughing far too loudly just to break the silence, and take another breath while I cross my arms behind my back. "Well, aren't you going to say anything? I'm the weird broody one, you know, and you're supposed to... I don't know, have something to say. Otherwise I'll just start spouting nonsense and you know we can't have that." My tone is deliberately brisk, bordering on shaky out of latent nervousness.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 29, 2014 13:19:16 GMT
Riley looked back over to her when she spoke. It had gotten so quiet, it almost scared him. It probably wasn't silent for too incredibly long, but it felt like a long time.
"Sorry," he said with a small smile in her direction. Thinking of things to say was kind of difficult sometimes- for both of them it seemed. "Okay, so to spare us from nonsensical things-" he paused another moment, "So are we all going to a specific place for the date?" She had mentioned it wasn't a group date, but you never know.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2014 2:33:07 GMT
Ah. Details. Right. My mouth goes faintly dry for no logical reason, and I shrug. "Well... um, Lilith did say - kind of excitedly, actually - that we should... maybe..." I swallow again, unable to say the words 'double date' without feeling like an idiot. "... She and Alex are going bowling and she thinks that we should too because she thinks I'm incompetent at social interactions without help from my little sister," I say finally.
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Post by Riley P. on Jul 30, 2014 23:09:19 GMT
Riley couldn't help but laugh a little bit with a bright smile on his face. He was a little bit amused by what Lillith had told her. Actually, Riley figured they would be fine- wouldn't it be like they were just hanging out? Well, okay, it was a little different than that. But he did think that a double date would be a good idea and he liked bowling- not that he was very good at it. He was actually sort of awful. "I don't think you're that bad at social interactions," he started to say, "plus, it's just me." Riley shrugged a little bit. They usually had a pretty easy time talking to each other.
"It's a date then," he smiled over to her. "You any good at bowling?" That was something that he didn't know about her, so might as well ask.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 31, 2014 3:26:36 GMT
Well, she might not have said 'social interactions' so much as 'any of that gushy, romantic, love-stuff you're all scared of' but close enough. I almost start to say this - just an automatic, pedantic correction I would undoubtedly regret - before he continues speaking and of course I've lost my chance. Luckily.
I shrug in response, mystified. "It's likely that I'm awful, as I doubt I've ever been. It's not a very Purist thing to do." I imitate Anjra saying purist, thrusting my nose in the air like some Victorian grandmother being disapproving. I smile faintly, belatedly, at the warmth flooding through me from hearing 'it's a date.' "Are you? Any good at bowling?"
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 1, 2014 0:11:34 GMT
Riley chuckled hearing her use of the word purist. He wasn't one to generally use the term, but he knew some who did. "Well, I should think not," he said , a smile being sent in return, continuing with the small joke. "I bet you'll be good- beginner's luck." He was decent the first time he played- from there it was down hill.
"Yeah, I'm not so great," Riley answered her with a small laugh. "I made a strike once though," he paused a moment, "... in the person's lane next to mine, but it still counts, right?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 1, 2014 2:08:46 GMT
"If I'm remembering the right terminology and such from what I've seen in books in movies, then no. That actually might be negative points." I shake my head, laughing slightly and rolling my eyes in mock exasperation.
"I probably shouldn't be any good," I add after a beat. "I know that I'm better at soccer and such when I'm being all cold and robotic. So with any luck it'll be fun and I'll be terrible."
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 1, 2014 21:50:06 GMT
Riley laughed with her and shrugged smiling over to Arden, "dang, maybe one day I'll be good." But honestly, he didn't really care if he was good at bowling or not- it was fun to play, regardless; as long as you were with the right people.
"You may just have a chance," he said figuring since he was so terrible at it, that she would have a better chance at winning a game than he would.
Riley smiled brightly to her, "well, in that case, I hope you're absolutely awful." Riley still couldn't believe that she actually asked him out and was saying to his face that she hoped the date would go well. He thought about the future bowling and really couldn't wait until the day came- it was going to be fun. Well, he hoped that it would be fun, at least.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 2, 2014 15:49:03 GMT
I try to suppress a grin so I can arch my eyebrows instead, but it doesn't work out and I just shake my head. "That's both insulting and sweet of you, so I'm not sure how to respond. Which is probably unfair, as that describes near everything I say."
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 2, 2014 21:12:31 GMT
Riley laughed a little bit sending a warm smile over to her, "is it still insulting if I'm terrible at bowling, too, though?" The answer probably was that, yes, it was kind of insulting, but he meant it in the best way possible. The real question is would it be more insulting to hope she's terrible at a sport, or hope that the date goes terrible? He picked the one he would rather. "Well, I'm personally hoping that you'll agree with me," Riley said smiling over to her. He still really couldn't wrap his head around this.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 3, 2014 4:05:46 GMT
"You're the one agreeing with me, since I said it first," I argue, still smiling. "Honestly." I shake my head and look down at the table. I can't figure out if this is how we normally talk to each other, or if it's forced and slightly awkward. I'm also not sure if how we usually talk to each other is forced and slightly awkward, so that's not good either.
I probably will go away and panic for a while after this, talk myself into the idea that I should change my mind and take it back, hopefully go tell Lilith first so that she can talk me out again, and hopefully refrain from having any minor breakdowns where I try to insult him for real. Do normal people have this much drama inside their own heads?
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 4, 2014 0:02:19 GMT
"I guess you have a point there," Riley replied with a small smile in her direction as she looked down towards the table. He wasn't sure why it was, but he was having difficulty figuring out what to say. Riley had spent the majority of their relationship keeping thoughts about liking her to himself (well, okay, not all of them), and now that he could possibly have a chance to speak his mind about everything he had been feeling, he was coming up short. Well, he was thinking that she was pretty, but decided to save that for later. "Sorry," the smile stayed on his face as his eyes lingered over to her for a while. Riley really couldn't wait until Saturday- so until then he was going to try to not be nervous, but it obviously wasn't working because he kept finding himself playing with his hands. Really, this shouldn't be this different. It was just Arden- a girl he had been great friends with for quite some time. It was going to be fine; he hoped.
(argh, i had a different reply and then my computer died and i had to start over!)
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 4, 2014 16:45:47 GMT
I smile faintly, shaking my head. "You don't have to be sorry." And can I just erase the last few minutes? It isn't worth this. It isn't worth weirdness and ruining our friendship. Let's talk about penguins and nonexistent monkeys. Let's talk about how Anjra is a lunatic for making us do this and both pretend that neither of us wants to go out with the other, and just come up with some other plan. Let's talk about what Chance said that one time after we finally stopped ignoring the whole kiss thing long enough for me to mention my crush on someone else.
"Well, more of you comes back all the time, right? It's not your fault. You thought you liked me then, but now you're more yourself so you like this Riley guy. It's not your fault."
I close my eyes again, trying to ignore - for the moment - the guilt that's come rushing up my throat to leave a bad taste in my mouth.
I'm a terrible person and I mustn't forget that... but I also can't let anybody see. They don't like it when you call yourself terrible.
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 4, 2014 22:09:15 GMT
Riley smiled some back to her. He wished he could remember what they were talking about before this whole situation, but honestly it was completely erased from his memory and replaced with a vast amount of new information. He decided this was going to be good and not to think about the potential of it all being taken away from him.
Arden closes her eyes again. For some reason he feels like she might not be okay- maybe he picked it up from hanging around her so often. "Are you okay?" Riley asked with a little concern as he stood up from the table to go heat up some water for tea. Tea sounded like a good idea.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 5, 2014 2:26:48 GMT
No, I'm not okay. I'm calling myself terrible because I'm terrified of changing anything.
I look up and shake my head. "No, I'm fine. Sorry. This is just..." I hesitate, then shrug and take a breath. "Is it just me or are we being weird and awkward?" And is it weird and awkward if I bring up why I'm scared of that? I'm pretty sure I mentioned my disastrous crush on Chance and the mutual first kiss that made things all weird - it happened right before I met Riley, so I'm sure it was on my mind - but that was way back in October so I'm not sure what I said or if he'd even remember any of it.
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 5, 2014 14:27:20 GMT
Riley stopped what he was doing to turn to her when she spoke. She shook her head, saying that she was fine. On the inside he was sort of preparing himself for what she was going to say next. He didn't want to say that he had been expecting for her to change her mind about the date, but he kind of felt a small part of him had. Was this the same thing that happened with her and Chance? Riley couldn't really remember all the details- just sort of a rough outline of the situation. It really wasn't enough information to compare the situations in the moment.
She spoke up again and Riley shrugged a little bit at her question, "No, it's a little of me too," he didn't want to agree with her, but he wasn't going to lie, either. He felt a little awkward, but it was to be expected, right? "I can't imagine it not passing though," Riley shrugged a little bit leaning his back against the counter. "This is kind of just how I get when things like this happen. What do I say? What can I say? etc..." He paused a moment, "It doesn't really stick around." He had a slight smile on his face. This decision was going to be ultimately up to her here. Even if it didn't work out though, he would still follow her around until they were friends again. That's how he felt anyway.
(i'm not sure how i feel about my post, but i keep re-reading it trying to fix it and i've decided to just post, lol)r
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 5, 2014 16:13:07 GMT
I half-smile, biting my lip to control it because while I'm somewhat relieved to hear it's not just me, it's also somewhat worrisome to hear it's not just me. Maybe this is normal. Maybe everyone gets awkward when they ask out their friends. Or anyone, possibly.
Although now that that's settled, I'm still not fully certain what to say... or do. Leave to get my head clear before I screw this up? Or stay and try to salvage some normal conversation?
I take a breath and finally shrug. "Well, that's both good and bad," I say just to stall while I figure this out.
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 5, 2014 21:20:27 GMT
Riley took a moment to figure out what he wanted to say. He didn't want to say something that would make her change her mind about this whole thing. But one another hand if she was planning on changing it then he figured he probably couldn't change her mind. "It'll be okay," he smiled to her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. He meant it to be comforting, so he hoped that translated to her. "We got over the awkwardness before, right?" He asked speaking of the time that they kissed, not too horribly long ago, and they seemed to be fine. "And this is different." Riley smiled to her again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 6, 2014 2:30:33 GMT
I can't help but twitch my shoulders in mild discomfort when he touches me, but it's only in surprise - I'm not bloody Fitzy; I've even been known to hug people. It's too bad we aren't standing next to each other so I could bump into him in half-joking apology.
But now he's gone and brought up that kiss, so I think it's safe to just ignore the rest.
"Well, that's true." I chuckle softly, looking at the ground. "But I'd rather not have to avoid you for a week or two until you finally won't leave me alone." And I'd like it even less if he did leave me alone, but I don't know to phrase that so I don't.
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Post by Riley P. on Aug 6, 2014 3:23:30 GMT
Arden twitched at the touch of his hand and he moved his hand away a moment later. He didn't want to bother her. There was a chance it just surprised her, but just in case he thought it would be good to not leave it there.
He smiled at her chuckle and glanced down at the floor for a moment. He moved to stand next her while he waited for his water to boil. "So instead of avoiding me," Riley started with a smile, "you should just not leave me alone." He didn't mind chasing after her but he would much rather just be around her.
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