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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 3:47:09 GMT
"Riley, I think you're allowed to be rude when some... idiot tramples on your heart for about the fifth time," I snap, just barely refraining from calling myself a bitch because I doubt that will sit well with him. "Just because someone apologizes to you doesn't mean you have to accept it."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 4:01:22 GMT
I shrugged faintly again, keeping my eyes off her an biting my lip again. "I want to accept it, though." I said after a moment. "You're not too much of an idiot."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 4:07:04 GMT
"Riley...." I shake my head, sighing slightly. "That is ridiculously... noble... of you, but it doesn't make you a bad person to hate me right now. If you accept my apology later... fine. But by rights, right now you should be asking me to leave and never see you again, not apologizing for some imagined rudeness."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 9:44:45 GMT
I shrugged a little bit, "I just.. I really don't like saying those things to you.. or anyone.. especially if I'm just going to tell them to leave." I didn't know why, but that always made me really nervous. I felt like if I told someone, like my best friend, I hated them.. which I don't really, and then something awful happens and they go and die or something. I've always been a bit paranoid about that. "I was hoping if you stayed long enough I could just.. get over this, or something."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 14:20:22 GMT
"Well, maybe it won't work that way this time, and me being here will only make things worse."
Not to mention I probably shouldn't stay long, really, because I don't want to give Logan cause to think I'm being unfaithful again.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 14:31:06 GMT
I don't know how to reply again, because well, she did have a point. Like she normally did. ".. Maybe." I said eventually, noticing that I stared to stare at the zipper of my hoodie again.
".. And I don't hate you." I added, sort of delayed from when she mentioned the word few moments ago.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 14:34:24 GMT
"All right," I say quietly, nodding, because I'm not quite sure what else to say instead. Thank you, maybe?
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 14:40:53 GMT
I nodded faintly, keeping my eyes where they were. I still couldn't think of anything to say to her that wasn't unpleasant, so maybe I should tell her to leave. "You can leave whenever you want." I said without looking up to her again, as I rolled closer to my bed and standing up from my wheel chair, and wincing slightly before sitting down on the edge of the bed.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 14:45:56 GMT
"I'm not going to leave if you still want me here," I say, shaking my head. It's partly a question, actually - do you still want me here? I can't imagine he does, but until I actually hear that I can't just do what I want.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 14:49:17 GMT
"I don't want you here," I said shaking my head a little bit, ".. but I don't like leaving things on bad terms.." Which is exactly what I would be doing, but really, I'm sure sure if leaving things on somewhat good terms was really possible. I was just being paranoid. Because that's how my luck goes.. sure I'm alive, but I tell Arden I don't like her and that I want her to leave and then something awful happens and I never even get the chance to apologize.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 14:52:47 GMT
"I'm sorry," I say again, shaking my head. "If I could just... make it better, magically, I would. But it seems like I probably should leave now."
I'm already backing slowly toward the door, noting detachedly that this doesn't hurt nearly as much as telling Logan that I do love Riley. So at least there's my proof that I made the right decision.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 15:07:42 GMT
I nodded slightly, "I know.." I said after she said she was sorry, still really not looking up to her.
I was sort of angry with her, but for some reason, I was expecting this to heart much, much, more than it actually did.. though that might have to do with the fact that I don't think I ever fully believed she was doing to stay with me anyway.
"Go ahead." I said, in a way telling her to leave, but not really liking this, nor feeling comfortable with it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 7, 2009 15:14:41 GMT
I hesitate slightly, then nod... feeling strangely empty to be walking out the door without giving him a hug. If for some reason this is the last time we see each other, that will probably bother me the rest of my life. But, that's appropriate considering what I've done.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 7, 2009 15:18:18 GMT
Half of me nearly tells her to stop when I look up and see her walking out of the door, but for some reason, I wouldn't let myself speak.. and it occurs to me again, that I really don't want this to be the last time I ever speak to her.
I should've told her to.. give me a week or something.. or maybe I'll just find her.. preferably not at her home.
I sighed and just stayed where I was, staring at the floor again.
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