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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 4:23:38 GMT
I nodded slightly. I guess it would be different after taking a few moments to think about it. Who knows, maybe I wouldn't even be in this situation. "I guess it would.." I paused again. "No use regretting something we can't change though.. plus I'm pretty sure that even if I didn't kiss you then, I would've kissed you later anyway."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 4:28:50 GMT
"It's possible." I smile slightly. "We have kind of had this stupid crush lingering over us since school... only a matter of time before something happened. I guess I just wish.. we could have been less stupid?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 4:33:07 GMT
Except it wasn't much of a crush anymore. Not for me at least. But I still nodded because she was generally right about all of that. "Maybe that's what we get for not getting it over with in school..." I said with a weak smile. "But yeah.. less stupid would have been good.. however we could've done that."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 4:38:02 GMT
"Maybe so...." I laugh very slightly, then turn serious again. "I wish... I could have hurt you less. I think that's what I meant."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 4:43:20 GMT
I chuckled faintly. "I'm pretty sure I'd almost kissed you a few times then.." I commented, not really caring much about what I was saying anymore just because I probably wasn't living much longer anyway.
I shook my head a bit with a weak smile. "I can honestly tell you that I didn't mind."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 4:48:42 GMT
"And as I've probably said before, that's ridiculous. I was terrible to you." I shake my head again, looking down. "And you can't honestly mean you like being hurt."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 4:55:06 GMT
".. It's not like you meant to.." I ended up saying. "I mean, it hurt, but I don't know.." I paused a moment. "I liked being close to you, and I just didn't really care how much it hurt me in the process."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 5:02:00 GMT
I shake my head, unable to come up with a reply to that other than, 'that's really stupid.'
"I still wish I hadn't hurt you."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 5:03:34 GMT
"And I wish that you'd stop beating yourself up about it." I say back to, "It was my fault."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 5:05:23 GMT
"How the hell was it your fault I hurt you?" I ask, forgetting that he's dying in my complete indignation at such an idiot statement.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 5:09:53 GMT
"I was the one being hurt and I just.. ignored it." I said , wondering why she wasn't seeing this at least partially my way. "I never got over you, I kept bringing things up.." I shrugged faintly. "Mt fault."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 5:11:18 GMT
"No." I shake my head. "I mean, granted, you're an idiot if that's what you mean, but I didn't have to play with you like I did, didn't have to be so callous. And that's what I would take back."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 5:24:13 GMT
"You could put it that way." I said at where she called me an idiot. I was an idiot and I kneI new I was, but once again, I just didn't really care enough to do something about it. In my mind, Arden and I made a good couple. We've been friends for what feels like forever and what's better than having your girlfriend be your best friend too?
"I saw it more of as you trying to make up your mind.." I said eventually, when she mentioned playing with me. I never really saw it as playing.. except once when we kissed in her kitchen. I did then most definitely. ".. But that's all that matters then. You wanting to take it back, I mean.." I said quietly. "It's fine.." I smiled weakly.
".. Can I just ask you though?" I paused for a second or two. "How come we never tried?" I asked as I looking up to her. ".. Even if just to see if it would help make up your mind.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 15:04:10 GMT
I'm not terrifically fond of forgiving myself when I've hurt someone, but maybe I can try to just this once if that's what he'd like. Or at least I can stop arguing about it. But his question then surprises me, and I shake my head. "How come we never tried to be together?" I ask, frowning slightly. "I - Logan was around, by the time we were going to try."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 17:29:24 GMT
I shook my head faintly, "There was time before that." I said quietly, for some reason not accepting the answer of Logan was around, because I was fairly certain that there was at least a couple months before.
Thinking about it right now, I was actually starting to think that she just didn't want to.. she was confused.. or unsure. ".. I thought there was at least.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 26, 2009 20:50:55 GMT
"No... you were with Riyann. She'd only just gone to prison when Logan showed up." I frown slightly. Or maybe I'm the one that got it wrong, or maybe we both did.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 26, 2009 21:37:49 GMT
I paused and thought about it for a moment. "... Oh..." I stopped again, thinking. ".. Maybe you're right.." I honestly wasn't sure anymore... maybe my head was a bit fuzzy... either that, or I just wasn't sure when Logan did actually turn up.
I was pretty sure that he wasn't here when I signed the divorce paper though.. or when we kissed in the kitchen and the girls walked in.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 27, 2009 2:20:30 GMT
"I don't know." I shrug slightly. "Maybe we're both a little wrong; I don't remember exactly."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 27, 2009 2:21:54 GMT
I shrugged faintly, "Yeah.. that's probably it." I agreed sort of quietly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 27, 2009 3:18:14 GMT
I nod silently, then glance over at him. "Why do you ask, anyway?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 27, 2009 3:25:26 GMT
I shrugged faintly, "I was just curious..." I said as I kept my eyes up on her. "Cos, I dunno.. I wanted to.." I added a bit quieter. Even though really, that part was fairly obvious I think. And if she thought she felt the same way, I figured we should have at least tried.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 27, 2009 4:02:22 GMT
I shrug slightly, feeling kind of like I'm being dismissive of him, but more so to say that it really was a stupid question anyway.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 27, 2009 23:34:37 GMT
I shrugged faintly, wishing again that I just didn't say anything about it and feeling slightly stupid about it now, actually. "... nevermind..." I said really quietly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 28, 2009 14:11:44 GMT
"No, you don't -" I shake my head, then stop. You don't what? "Never mind," I say in turn.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 28, 2009 16:21:54 GMT
".. I don't what?" I asked a moment later, feeling slightly confused about what she was going to say. I didn't think she wanted to talk about that anymore, so I thought I'd just try to forget it, but now I was curious as to what she was saying nevermind to.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 29, 2009 17:07:25 GMT
((Gah, sorry.))
"Nothing, I don't know." I shake my head impatiently, then shrug.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 29, 2009 17:09:10 GMT
"... Okay." I said sort of quietly, even though I was sort of confused now.
[ it's okay.. lol.. sorry for this post too, meh ]
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 29, 2009 17:12:39 GMT
I shake my head again, having nothing else to say, and hesitantly pull my hands back from his. I don't want him to feel hurt by it, but there's only so long you can hold a person's hand.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Mar 29, 2009 17:16:57 GMT
She shook her head and took her hand away. I had actually nearly forgot that we were holding hands, so I guess I wasn't really surprised that she took hers away.. it had been a while. "Guess we sort of ran out of things to talk about.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 29, 2009 17:19:16 GMT
"Mm... as usual." I smile faintly.
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