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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 9, 2008 23:42:43 GMT
"... In essence, yes," I nod, wondering if I'm imagining the hint of amusement in his voice because it really does not seem that funny.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 9, 2008 23:48:34 GMT
Maybe the bit of amusement, or possibly disbelief now that i think about it, was coming from the mere fact that I was just surprised. Then again, at the same time, why should I be surprised? It's only normal for things like this to happen to me. I didn't have many good things going for me right now, and she was one of the few.. so it was only.. natural for her to change her mind too.
I nodded, trying to think of something I could say to her, being slightly speechless. "I thought.." I shook my head a little bit. "I thought that things were going okay.. with us." I said sort of quietly, glancing over to her. I played slightly with the sleeve of my sweatshirt, and looked back up to her, waiting for her to say something else.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 10, 2008 0:40:00 GMT
"They were, I guess." I shrug slightly. Up until Logan showed up. "And it's nothing you did."
I don't know if it would be better or worse to get dumped in favor of someone else or just in general.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 10, 2008 0:45:25 GMT
I nodded slightly again. "Okay.." I said quietly, still not sure what to really say. "Um.. thanks for letting me know then." I added a moment later. Yeah, it kind of.. well, it kind of sucked, but there wasn't really anything I could do about that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 10, 2008 0:48:04 GMT
I nod a bit, wondering if it would be wrong to hug him.
"I'm really, really sorry. I never planned to hurt you."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 10, 2008 0:53:47 GMT
I nodded again. This was actually really weird because oddly enough, I was always the one doing the breaking up.. I don't think anyone's ever done this to me.. even if we were technically never dating. Same difference.
"I know.. I wouldn't think that you would have." I said shaking my head slightly before taking in another deep breath and letting it out. I never should've let myself love you... I thought to myself, biting my lip a little bit. "It's okay." Least I don't have to see you with another guy...
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 10, 2008 0:58:50 GMT
I nod again, biting my lip in a new spot because I can't for the life of me think of anything to say. 'Well, see you then'? Not so much.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 10, 2008 1:02:20 GMT
"So um.. Can I least have a hug then?" I asked with a very faint half smile, which really didn't last too long, when she didn't say anything after a bit of time.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 10, 2008 1:05:57 GMT
"Yeah, sure." I smile faintly/sadly, shaking my head and pulling him into a hug. I still love him as a friend, but I really don't know if I should say that right now. "Are you going to want me to leave you alone?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 10, 2008 1:09:49 GMT
I smiled a little bit and hugged her back once she pulled me into a hug. I sighed quietly after a moment and slightly wondered how long I could hug her without it seeming weird.. now I didn't even know when I should pull away.
I heard her question and wondered what exactly she meant by that.. did she mean, leave me alone for now? or leave me alone for good? But either way I think that the answer was going to be no, so I didn't bother to ask. "No.. I'd have to be crazy to want that." I said with a small smile, starting to pull away from the hug. Even though I didn't really want to at the moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 10, 2008 16:26:52 GMT
You have to be crazy to still like me, I think, pulling away and smiling weakly. "Well in that case I'll stick around."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 10, 2008 16:45:24 GMT
I smiled weakly back. "Thanks." I said with a faint nod, still sort of wondering what all happened to change her mind.. or what she did since that's what she had said earlier.
"So um.. What things made it go.. not okay, then?" I asked a moment later, looking back at her again. "If you don't mind me asking.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 2:36:36 GMT
I bite my lip again, looking down. I guess I would have to say it sooner or later.
"Well... I don't really know how to say this, and this probably isn't the best way... but it really is nothing to do with you. I just... sort of found somebody else I like better."
Hm. Yeah, I definitely could've chosen better words.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 2:44:30 GMT
"Oh," I said after a moment once I heard what she said. I.. for some reason.. wasn't expecting that. So I would have to see her with someone else then. Actually, I probably wouldn't have to if I just made sure to only see Arden at certain times. But more than likely, I'll end up seeing them together anyway. "... Do I know him?" I asked a couple moments later, rubbing the back of my neck, not being able to think of who it could be if I did know them.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 2:52:30 GMT
I look briefly at the sky at this, half-nodding. "... Yes. Don't think you like him very much."
I'm not sure why exactly, but my voice is shaking somewhat nervously and I really want to fidget with something or pick at the scab on my arm.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 2:59:50 GMT
I gave a faint nod, glancing down to the ground with a slightly confused look, noting that her voice is somewhat shaky.. Whoever it was, she didn't really want to me. Who did I know.. who she knew (and obviously spent time with), that I didn't like much? There weren't many options there...
After a few moments, I look back up to her, taking a mental stab at who it could be. .. No... Couldn't be Logan... I thought to myself, after I thought it. But what if it was?
"I, um.. I can't seem to really think of anyone I don't like.." I said, shaking my head faintly, not wanting to ask if it was Logan at the moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 3:06:07 GMT
"Well, granted, you don't know him very well," I say, swallowing and looking at the ground again. At this point it just seems almost anticlimactic to say his name, so I really am hoping he's figured it out. And it's not as though I know that many people. Apart from my brother, uncle, brother-in-law, and Riley himself I think there are only three, and I don't know of any objection Riley has to Ian or Chance.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 3:13:14 GMT
So it was Logan. That, I wasn't expecting. Well, from the beginning it's not something I would have expected, but I wasn't too surprised now that I knew. I didn't say anything for a bit and kind of just looked at the same spot on the ground. But now I feel like I was being a bit rude.. hopefully not too much though. Then again, maybe she just thinks that I don't know who it was.
".. What do you see in him?" I asked more than a few moments later. I didn't know if that question was necessary.. or really too nice for that matter. But I really was curious, because of all the guys that she could have been with, I didn't see why she chose him. And I was slightly upset that it was him over me. I felt childish thinking that, but I couldn't really help it at the moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 3:22:51 GMT
"I... don't know exactly." I shrug slightly. I think I was expecting this, that he wouldn't exactly approve, and maybe that's why I was so fidgety. I feel like I've done something wrong.
"You remember when we were talking about soulmates, back when I thought he was dead, and I don't know why the hell we've never killed each other but for some reason we can't?" I shrug again and take a deep breath. "I don't know, that's all I've got."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 3:32:59 GMT
I crossed my arms in front of my chest, slightly uncomfortably. I think that I was getting too much information at once. First, it was just that she didn't want to be with me.. and then that she was, in fact, choosing someone over me.. and now all of a sudden Logan was her soul mate?
I really felt like I was being an ass about this.. I should be okay with this because it's what she wants. So maybe I should just try to be civil and keep what I was really feeling away from her.
Which is why I bit my lip a little bit and nodded, uncrossing my arms, putting my hands in my pockets now instead.
"So you think he's your soul mate?" I asked moving my eyes up to her this time instead of staring at the ground. I was starting to think the same thing about you..
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 3:45:47 GMT
"Well... not... I don't know." I shake my head. 'Soulmate' is such a ridiculous, grandiose word and concept. "I just meant that I don't know what I see in him, but... I don't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 3:54:52 GMT
I shook my head faintly, "I asked, didn't I?" I said to her with a very faint smile, shifting my eyes to the ground again for a moment. I didn't really know what else to say to her about this. I didn't want to make her upset.. or insult her.. or say something that just.. wasn't nice.
I wanted to say that if he did anything to her, he would hear from me. But I was pretty sure that if that happened no one would be hearing from me ever again. "You don't have to be sorry.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 4:12:11 GMT
True.... I shrug slightly, shaking my head. "I still feel awful about this, and don't tell me I shouldn't 'cause I know I screwed you over."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 4:18:08 GMT
I shrugged faintly, glancing up towards her again. "You didn't do it on purpose though.." I said eventually. So she did screw me over.. possible more than a little bit, but it's not like she knew what was going to happen. "I'm sure you weren't expecting something to happen.." I didn't even want to think about what did happen actually, now that I thought about that. But on the other hand I was strangely curious because I know what we did.. and I wondered if she was the same way with him.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 4:28:13 GMT
"That's for sure," I half laugh, shaking my head. Honestly, I'm not even sure how we did wind up kissing... but I'm really pretty sure he doesn't want to know that, so I quickly sober up and shake my head again, biting the inside of my cheek. "Sorry," I say again.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 4:35:10 GMT
I almost felt like I had more questions for her, but I didn't really want to ask anymore questions. I already felt like I'd exceeded my limit. I shook my head again when she said she was sorry. "It's alright, Arden.." I told her again, pushing some hair from my face instead of shaking it away. "We weren't..." I paused, stopping the sentence and deciding to start another. "You weren't sure about us anyway, so I can't say that I wasn't really expecting this to happen.. I mean.. You're sure about him, then?" I think once this was done, I was going to apologize because I really did feel quite nosy.
I wasn't positive that string of thoughts made sense, but I still wasn't thinking too clearly at the moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 4:40:07 GMT
I have to bite my lip again, thinking because I can't just give a quick answer to that. Eventually I nod though, semi-afraid in my superstitious way that I've just somehow jinxed it... but on the other hand that's ridiculous. And I am sure, really. It feels more right, and not as awkward, to be with him rather than Riley.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 4:47:31 GMT
I nodded again after a moment. "Then you don't have to be sorry.." I said a bit quieter than I had been talking. "I just want you to be happy.." I added eventually with a faint smile. I also wanted bad things to stop happening to me, but I doubted that was going to happen.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Dec 11, 2008 17:02:12 GMT
"Same," I manage after a lot of nodding. "I want you to be happy too, you know." And I hate how there's nothing I can really do to make that happen.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Dec 11, 2008 17:11:35 GMT
I nodded faintly again, "Thanks.." I said managing a faint smile toward her. Which is why this works better if you're with me and not Logan. "Something'll happen eventually.."
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