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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 3, 2008 4:01:38 GMT
Sitting there in the far corner I was leaning up against a wall with my legs spread out straight in front of me, my arms laying lighlty at my sides. I wasn't sure how long I was sitting there like that, but maybe it had been a couple days, or just a couple minutes it was really hard to tell. Really it was even harder to tell how long I'd been in there for, though I knew it must've been a while, my cheeks were sunken in slightly more than the last time I'd really noticed or cared to notice, my clothes were baggy on my small frame, dirt covered and tattered. Well maybe it wasn't all that bad and I was really just imagining everything. Maybe I was just freaking myself out with how horrid I must look. Well, then again I wasn't freaking myself out. How could i if I had given up?
That's what I'd done. Given up. I gave up on getting out of there, it's been way too long since I was put in here and I still hadn't heard a word for how long I'd be here.
People would walk past but I didn't pay any attention. While unless that person was Tyler and he was being annoying and persistant and stubborn and had even resorted to throwing random objects that fit between the bars at me, until he realized I could throw them back, though half-heartedly. Riley hadn't come back, I hadn't heard from anyone or seen anyone else since Arden and Tyler had come by.
I no longer looked forward to getting out because I wasn't ever going to get out, that I was sure of at least, I could be wrong, but it would just be a long while before I could get out.
How Tyler sat in here for seven years was beyond me, but then again he had so much more to look forward to.
Looking at my feet I gradually started to shut my eyes, letting my hair fall in my face as I leaned forward ever so slightly. I hadn't spoken in days, or however long it had been, hadn't eaten in at least two day, haven't done anything but sit where I was. I'd given up.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 7, 2008 3:17:52 GMT
I wasn't going to break my promise.. It just took me a bit longer to get back out here than I thought. I did want to come back sooner, but I don't know, I just couldn't get myself to for some reason.
But I decided that I definately couldn't hold this off any longer, which was why I was walking through Azkaban right now, on my way to Riyann's cell.
I still really cared for her and as much as I didn't want to, I did somehow still love her, so I just didn't want to see her like this and I was scared to see what this place did to her.
Not to mention, I hadn't found out how long she would be here for.. and I haven't told the kids where she is yet. Why did all of this seem to be so difficult?
I walked up to her cell quietly, looking through the bars over to Riyann, who was slumped over lsighlty against a wall.
"... Hey Riyann.." I said quietly, already starting to be bothered by everything about this place.
[[ this was a terrible reply.. ]]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 7, 2008 3:37:12 GMT
I heard footsteps and I just ignored them still letting my eyes be shut and I stayed like I was. Maybe they'll just assume I was dead and continue walking. I thought as I heard the foot steps fall silent, but then I heard Riley's voice and I wanted so badly to just ignore it, pretend I hadn't heard it. I just couldn't. Because maybe that was one thing I hadn't given up on, hearing him again.
Feeling my heart fall slightly and my breathing speed up faintly I sat there for another moment or two, keeping especially still before slowly opening my eyes and then looking towards him. I was sure that he could see so much hurt shining through my eyes as I was feeling because of what I was going through and because of what I put myself through. Though I only looked at him for a fraction of a second before turning my eyes back to the wall across from me.
"Hey." I managed to get out, though my voice was quite shakey and was easily found to have been quite unused. Not even a moment after saying hey I started coughing because of how scratchy my voice had been, harsh against my throat.
[[Nah it was fine, though mine's all ick... lol]]
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 7, 2008 3:45:45 GMT
She slowly looked up to me and I moved my eyes away from her for a second when I saw just how hurt she looked. I hated to think that I helped cause that. Then agian, I was sure that I did becuase all that she's stuck with is horrible memories in here and I wouldn't be surprised if I was the source of a few of them.
She said hey before she started to cough and I looked back over to her, frowning slightly, wishing I could get into the cell and hug her.
"Sorry it took me a while to get back here.." I told her quietly, feeling even more worse about it as I stood here, leaning against the doors.
[ nah, it was good too, lol ]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 7, 2008 4:05:57 GMT
He said sorry while I was still in the midst of having a coughing fit, now leaning over slightly and coughing against my curled up fist. My hair was hanging in my face so I couldn't see Riley from the corner of my eye anymore, but I didn't really care because I was still trying to stop coughing and I was still trying to get a full breath of air. Really, this may have been why I hadn't wanted to say anything, but I don't think I could just ignore him.
After I'd finished I took a deep breath as I leaned back fully against the wall, now even more tired, now trying to think of what Riley had been saying to me and simply in answer I just shrugged, because really, if you don't know what you're answering isn't that the best answer?
My body felt heavier than bricks, just keeping my head up would've been a work out at this point, but leaning against the wall helped greatly, that much I was sure of. Turning my head again I looked over towards him again, wanting to ask how he was doing, how he'd been doing, surely far better than me.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 7, 2008 4:13:21 GMT
She was still coughing as I spoke and when she shrugged, I really wasn't positive if she just didn't care, if she didn't hear me? Or if maybe she was really mad at me and would rather not talk?
"Um.. are you doing okay?" I asked looking up to her, knowing thatshe definately wasn't.. at least it ididn't seem like she was.
[short :/]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 7, 2008 4:24:55 GMT
"Perf," I started, my voice hoarse, my throat sore, "perfect." I finished with a faint nod, trying my hardest to hold back another cough and possibly another coughing fit. I let my hand down from brushing back my hair and making sure I wasn't going to cough anymore, letting my fingers spread from being slightly bunched into a fist and watched as it shakily moved until I rested it against my lap. I was cold, exhausted, and sort of hungry, but the last thing I ate hadn't stayed down well, which was really, this time, the reason I'd stopped eating. "What about you?" I asked, slightly hurried before I brough my hand back up in a fist and coughed a few times.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 7, 2008 22:53:41 GMT
Perfect.. I would say she was closer to just the opposite of that. She was looking terrible and even though I don't think she should've killed my sister, I don't think that she should be here either. ".. I'm alright.." I said quietly to her, watching and hearing her cough a few times. [[ blah.. sorry  ]] |
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 7, 2008 22:57:19 GMT
[[Tis okay ;D]]
He didn't say anything to my saying I was perfect and I was actually both surprised and glad. Then again he was smart enough to be able to figure it out that I really wasn't perfect, especially with how I sounded and probably looked.
Hearing him say he was alright I nodded a little and pulled my fist back down from my mouth. "T-that's good." I mumbled, trying to make it so that I wouldn't talk too much or too loudly for my throat to hurt even more.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 7, 2008 23:24:01 GMT
[ ;D ]
I nodded slightly, staying quiet for another moment. What was there to talk about? Nothing that would make her feel better, that's for sure. I hadn't found anything out. I had been kissing Arden. I hadn't told the girls a thing about her being here yet. And I signed and mailed the divorce papers.
None of those are good topics. "Um.. the girls miss you.." I said quietly, looking back at her. This probalby wouldn't help at all either.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 7, 2008 23:28:54 GMT
He was silent, and I couldn't really blame him all that much and I shut my eyes lightly, only looking towards him when he said the girls missed me. I bit lightly against my lip and then looked away from him. That's great, they miss me when really maybe it'd be best if they just hated me because then I wouldn't have to feel half as guilty as I did right now.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 7, 2008 23:35:24 GMT
"I haven't really thought of what to tell them yet.. Arden was, um.. gonna help me figure it out.." I said quietly, pausing for a moment after I said Arden's name because I wasn't planning saying anything about her to Riyann. I'm not very tactful when it comes to speaking anymore.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 0:32:16 GMT
So they still think I've up and abandoned them. I couldn't exactly blame him though, how would he tell them? But then he said Arden was going to help. That's bloody well brilliant. I just sat there, staying silent and staring almost angrily at the wall across from me, but then I stopped because really, why should it matter. I was stuck in here, he could lead his life how ever he wanted too, just leave me out of it next time?
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 0:38:45 GMT
"Um.. sorry." I said quietly, almost in a whisper as I shifted my eyes to the floor. "I just.. I don't know." I added a moment or two later. I really hated this. I wish that either for the time being I could be in there with her while I spoke, or she could be out here. I didn't know what I should say to her and I didn't really want to have a one-sided conversation.
Right now, I was just trying to think about something else I could talk about. "Um.. I brought you pictures of the kids.." I said a few moments later, when I remembered that I did have some for her, I really don't know how I forgot about them.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 0:46:52 GMT
I shrugged slightly at his apology. "Doesn't matter." I whispered faintly, feeling my throat seer with pain as I did speak. Oh the tolls this place was having on such a broken spirited me.
He said he brought me pictures of the kids and it took a while to register what he had said, and when it did I started to my feet, almost fumbling over them and then started slightly slower than I wanted, towards him. "Can I see?" I asked faintly. Of course, he brought them for you.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 0:56:21 GMT
"Course you can.." I said quietly, watching her nearly fumble over her feet as she got up and started toward me. As she walked closer I could see even more so, the strain that Azkaban was putting on her and after looking at her for a moment, I reached in my pocket and took out my wallet. Opening it, I took out a recent picture of the girls and one of Justin too.
Once she was close enough, I reached my hand to her and held the pictures out so she could take them. Taken, I was in the one with Justin, since I was holding him when I took the picture, so I hoped she didn't mind.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 1:04:01 GMT
I felt a ghost of a smile come across my lips when he said course I could. I knew he was going to say that and I watched as he reched into his pocket to pull out his wallet. When I stepped closer he held the pictures out and I smiled slightly more now, ignoring how tired I was and reached them out, taking the pictures from his hand lightly, barely even noticing how my hand brushed past his. No, I was way to focused on the pictures. After I had them in my hand I moved and sat down just where I'd last been standing. Looking at the first pictures two pictures I saw the girls and studied them for a moment before flipping to the last one with Justin, Riley holding him.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 1:14:33 GMT
Her hand brushed mine as she took the pictures and I didn't pay much attention to it and just watched as she took the picture from me and then sat down in her place. I bit my lip a little bit and slid down the bars myself, looking over to her. I saw her look at Justin's picture after the girl's and bit my lip a little bit, almost commenting on how I didn't mean to be in the picture, but decided against it and just let her look at them.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 1:38:14 GMT
I smiled at the picture. Really Justin was growing up fast, I hated to be missing it, but I was glad that I at least got a picture of him. "Thanks." I whispered before grasping the pictures lightly with one hand and the other being brought up to my mouth in a fist as I coughed.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 1:40:54 GMT
"You're welcome.." I told her with a small smile, watching her look at them, and then grasp them in her hand. She coughed and I bit my lip a little bit again. "I'll keep you updated on them... Um.. oh, Justin said his first word a bit ago.." I told her quietly after a moment.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 1:48:00 GMT
I smiled softly when he said 'you're welcome' and just looked at the pictures faintly more. Nodding a little when he said he'd keep me updated I looked up at him slightly as he added that Justin spoke his first word. "What was it?" I asked softly, coughing slightly after doing so. The question, hopefully wouldn't turn out to being a bad one.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 1:53:16 GMT
"Um.." I paused for a moment, honestly, his first word was Daddy.. or something close to it, but I didn't really want to tell her that. Just another reminder that she wasn't there. I should've thought about that before I told her so I knew what answer I should give. "Mum.. Well, more like, um.. Ma-ma.. but yeah.. I guess I said it enough around him.." One little white lie wasn't going to hurt any.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 2:00:07 GMT
My eyes were moist with tears. Not only would I not be able to see the kids, at least for a long while, I was going to be missing everything. Just like I missed Justin's first word. With the hand that I had held as a fist against my coughs I brought it up to wipe my eyes. "I miss him. The girls." I whispered, looking down at the pictures as I said that.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 2:02:53 GMT
"They miss you too.." I said quietly, watching her continue to look at the pictures. "It's not like you're not going to see them agian though... you will." I said looking over at her.
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Post by Jessica Grace Williams on Nov 8, 2008 2:06:24 GMT
I bit lightly against my lip at his last comment. He didn't know that I would see them again. Didn't he see me just a minute ago, then there was the fact that I wouldn't stop coughing, I was slowly falling apart and just fading away. "I know." I lied. In fact, I knew that I wouldn't see them again. The chances of me getting out were slim to none. Well, I could get out, but in which case I'd be killing someone and be put right back in.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 2:12:29 GMT
I nodded slightly, "You will.." I said quietly, leaning against the bars, keeping my eyes on her. She probably didn't believe me, but I believed that she would. I mean, even if they had to visit her. She would see them again.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 2:14:46 GMT
I nodded a little bit now, if I didn't get out, they had better not come visit me until they're 20, at least. I'd have to strangle them and Riley if they came here when they really didn't need too. Besides, I wouldn't even be alive that long so maybe it wouldn't be that hard.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 2:23:22 GMT
"Plus.. I doubt you'll be here so long that they'll actually have to come and visit..." I said quietly as I watched her.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Nov 8, 2008 3:30:54 GMT
"Why do you doubt that?" I murmured, clearing my throat softly, looking up at him, finally tearing my eyes from the pictures.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Nov 8, 2008 3:34:30 GMT
"Because... I don't know.. I don't feel like you're going to be here forever." I said, shaking my head slightly.
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]]
