Final Thoughts;;{[Arden

[Riley Pearson]

I sat at my kitchen table, looking at the papers again, with pen in hand. It'd been a week since I went to see Riyann in Azkaban and I think that it was enough time to cool down to realise it was okay to sign the papers. It wasn't just my temper speaking either. I was pretty sure that I couldn't be with her. I did feel bad about the things I said, but we weren't working and I don't really think we could ever work again. There was just too much history, if that's possible or even makes sense for that matter.
I took in a deep breath and let it out, staring at the papers still before picking up my mug full of tea with my free hand and taking a drink of it.
This was the right thing to do. She said that she killed Lilian, just because. Just because it was Lil. What kind of an answer is that? Why would she just kill her becuase it was her, if she knew how much Lilian meant to me? I still couldn't understand it and maybe I shouldn't have to understand it.
I set my mug back down on the table, letting out another small breath. All I had to do was sign these papers and let her go. This should be easy considering the facts. And I was starting to think that I was actually ready to sign these things.
But just as I was putting my pen down to the paper, there was a knock on the door. So instead of just signing them quickly and carelessly, I set my pen down on the table and stood up.
I took one last glance at them before walking over to the door and opening it.

[Arden Patricks]

I hate going to Azkaban.
Not that that's exactly a real profound statement.
But it's given me nightmares ever since, and I feel like I haven't slept properly in at least three or four days. Oh, right - I guess I kind of haven't.

I also haven't really said or done much of anything, just been wallowing in my own sadness and exhaustion even though I'd quite like to get out and see people. But there's no way I should be babysitting in this state, and I haven't wanted to impose myself on my adult friends. Today, however, the guilt at not having seen Riley since he showed up at at my house with that awful news has outweighed any other feelings, and I knock with a bit more purpose, less hesitancy, than I have in quite a while.

[Riley Pearson]

I opened the door to see Arden standing infront of me. I hadn't seen her since I showed up at her house with the, not so pleasant, news, and I was realising that time was going a bit faster than I thought it was.. even if it did feel like it was going slow. If that makes any sense at all.
Even though I was feeling slightly better about everything, I was still pretty depressed and it was really good feeling to see her standing at the door when I opened it. I had pretty much forgotten about what I told her last time I talked to her, but a small part of it was still on my mind. And now that more time had passed, I was pretty sure that, yes, I still liked her. I just had to forget about it completely because she already told me that she didn't and the last thing I needed to do is tick her off and have her avoid me because I made it awkward.
I smiled softly to her when I saw her, "Hey Arden."

[[ bah, i think i got a bit rambly ]

[Arden Patricks]

((Ooh... well, I'd actually forgotten about the awkwardness from before, so thanks for the reminder even if it was rambly. ))

"Hey," I smile back, automatically glad to see him in such a way that my thoughts bubble up happily and then cascade back down when I remember that I have to act like 'normal,' whatever the hell that is, and try to forget the whole wanting to kiss him thing. "Sorry... not interrupting anything, am I?"

[Riley Pearson]

[[ ooh, well then yay, lol, you're welcome I guess then ]]

I smiled and shook my head slightly, when she asked if she was interrupting anything. Technically, she had slightly interrupted me signing the divorce papers, but I don't think that was really something not easily gone back to. At least not today. But who knows, maybe I'll go look at the papers again and not be able to sign them. I didn't think that was an issue at the moment though. I was pretty convinced that I was going to sign them and that it was just a better choice for my own well-being.
"Um.. no, not really." I told her shaking my head a little bit and moving slightly, showing that she could come inside. "Just looking at the divorce papers.."

[Arden Patricks]

"... Oh," I nod, biting my lip briefly. Naturally, this makes me think of mentioning the fact I saw Riyann the other day, but as it was in Azkaban and all I'm not sure that it's really how I want to start off this conversation.
But there's really nothing else that I can think of to say, and I don't want to start off with silence either.

[Riley Pearson]

All she said was oh and I shrugged a little bit with a faint half sort of smile. "Just about to sign them actually.." I added, still leaning slightly on the door. ".. You can come in." I said a moment later since Arden seemed to be staying where she was.

[Arden Patricks]

"Right...." I laugh slightly, shaking my head. "I forgot about that, the coming inside part." I pause then, half-ducking past him into the house. "So, how's... things, then?"

[Riley Pearson]

I chuckled slightly, smiling a little bit to her with a small nod, "That's what I thought." I said, watching as she ducked past me into the house. Once she was inside, I shut the door, and listened to her question. "Oh, um.. alright considering, I guess." I told her with a small shrug.

[Arden Patricks]

"All right...." I repeat, nodding. "Well, that's something. How're the girls?"

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded slightly, ".. Well, I mean.. Still, depressed.. but I talked with Riyann and I think I can finally just.. let her go." I said, nodding a little bit, then realising that I really didn't have to say all of that. But I guess I already elaborated on it so it was too late now.
"I'm not sure anymore.. better I guess.. I don't know what I'm supposed to tell them though." I said shaking my head a little bit. I didn't know if Arden knew about Riyann being in Azkaban, but I guess she was going to find out soon if she didn't already know.

[Arden Patricks]

'Your mother is an evil and sadistic... ... who killed your aunt and probably other people for no apparent reason and now is rotting in Azkaban'? No, that probably wouldn't be best.
I shake my head rather violently at the cruel tone of my thoughts, then shrug. "Well, I guess they'll have to know where she is sooner or later... but I can't really say how much you should tell them."
It's good, I think, that he can let her go now like he says. I think it's a very good sign... and I honestly don't think it's my bias talking.

[Riley Pearson]

I listened to her response and I nodded faintly. "Yeah.. That's what I was thinking too.." I said nodding slightly at what she said. "If I tell them they'll start asking questions.. and if I don't they're probably just going to assume she just left them.. Which will be my fault." I added with a faint shrug.

[Arden Patricks]

I shake my head at that, frowning slightly because I really don't like it at all... and yet I really don't see a solution.
"I really do think you should tell them... omission is like lying in a case like this... and just answer their questions best you can. I can be there if you like, help you out."

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded a little bit. "Yeah.. I guess you're right about that." I admitted, agreeng with her statement. I really should tell them. But how was I supposed to answer their questions without just lying even more?
I nodded at her offer, "Yeah.. that would good to have you there." I said giving her a small smile. I relaly didn't want to tell them alone.

[Arden Patricks]

"Not a problem then," I smile back. "We ought to think of something to say, between the two of us."

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled and nodded a little bit, glad that she offered to be there and that she wouldn't mind being there. "Yeah, that'd be a good idea.." I said nodding slightly more before realising we were still just standing infront of the door. ".. Wanna go sit down?"

[Arden Patricks]

I nod in agreement, then laugh again slightly, shaking my head. "That would be a little less weird than just standing here, I suppose."

[Riley Pearson]

I laughed a little bit and nodded, "Yeah, maybe a little less." I said in agreement, smiling a little bit. With that, I started toward the kitchen, checking to see if she was following after a short moment.

[Arden Patricks]

"I'm right behind you," I say teasingly, laughing slightly again when he looks back at me.

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled and laughed a little bit, "Right.. sorry." I said with a small chuckle, as I walked. Once I got to the kitchen, I walked back over to where I was sitting and took another drink of my tea, looking down at the papers again.

[Arden Patricks]

I shake my head again, smiling faintly, and then follow him to the kitchen where I lean against my usual spot by the wall. The smile disappears when I see the papers on the table, however, and start thinking again - about Riyann, about Fitzy, about what Riley's going through and my feelings for him, about what actually prompted my visit to Azkaban....

[Riley Pearson]

I set my mug down, taking a seat in the chair I was sitting in earlier. I chewed slightly on my bottom lip as I picked up my pen and looked back down at the papers. After hesitating for a short moment, I put the pen to the paper and signed my name neatly across the lines. I stared at it for a moment, setting down the pen again and taking another drink from my mug. "So um.. what's up with you then? You doing okay?" I asked looking up to her.

[Arden Patricks]

There's something very final, and important, and anticlimactic about watching him sign the papers like that. I've just watched my best friend sign away his marriage, write off the woman he's been with for most of the time I've known him. Somehow it's very depressing.
But I shake myself out of my reverie, taking a few extra seconds to belatedly process the question before answering. I shrug, looking down at the floor. "According to Riyann, Fitzy is alive... but also has rejoined the deatheaters," I say in response. "I don't know."

[Riley Pearson]

I stared down at the papers a bit longer after I signed them. Really sort of unsure how I was supposed to be feeling about this. It's sort of funny how easy it is to just end something like that with a signiture. It just seemed like there should be something more to it. I should feel okay, right? I wanted this. In one way, it was almost sort of relieving.. in another it was strangely depressing.
I looked up to her when she started to speak, hearing Riyann's name. I knew that she knew Riyann was there, but I didn't know that she spoke to her. Which means she actually went to Azkaban. This left me sort of wondering why she was there in the first place and what was going on.
"But he's alive.. not that being a deatheater is good.. but.." I paused for a moment before shrugging faintly and repeatng what she said. "I don't know.. Did um.. Did Riyann mention knowing where Melody is? If she knows Fitzy's alive?"

[Arden Patricks]

"Um... yes...." I frown slightly, a little uncertain. "Yes, I mentioned both of them, and then she said 'they' when she answered. Apparently she'd run into them someplace and the last she saw they're alive." I take and let out a deep breath, smiling weakly. "Which I guess is... yeah, it's good. And hopefully all this will be over soon, before... before he has to do anything."

[Riley Pearson]

He better not let anything happen to her. That was basically the main thought that I had at this moment. If he was a deatheater again and Melody wans't with Arden, I was assuming that she was with him. Which was really nervewrecking to me. She definately shouldn't be with him if he's doing this.
I smiled weakly back to her and nodded a little bit. "Yeah.. the sooner the better.." I said keeping my eyes on Arden. "I hope they're both okay though.."

[Arden Patricks]

"Yeah, me too." I smile nervously, deciding not to mention that worrying about them and then trying not to worry about them has pretty much consumed most of my time lately. "Um... anything else with you then?"

[riley pearson]

I smiled a little bit back and nodded a little bit. "They'll be alright." I told her, wanting to reassure her about it. I knew she had to be worrying, probably constantly and even though what I said probably didn't help at all, I still felt the need to say it.
I shook my head slghtly, "Not really.." I said with a faint half smile. Not unless you count me realising I like you.

[Arden Patricks]

I smile a little more genuinely at that, and want very much to hug him.
"At least... nothing else bad then, right?" I ask. "And do you mind if I hug you?"
Stupid question. When has he ever?