|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 22:26:05 GMT
I close my eyes briefly, subconsciously, and sigh very softly. I figured as much, obviously, but perhaps hoped that deliberate ignorance could keep him from saying it. I'd really rather not be reminded that I'm now... if not in love with, then at least crushing on someone I shouldn't be.
"Is there really that much to discuss?" I ask after a moment, keeping my tone light and casual rather than weary or snappish.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 22:29:48 GMT
I shrugged softly, noting the light tone to her voice, glad that she at least wasn't showing that she was annoyed with me saying it or anything like that.
"I dunno.. I just sort of feel like it's unresolved.." I said softly, shaking a couple pieces of hair from my eyes. "It's probably just me.." I added, shaking my head a little bit. I really wasn't sure anymore.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 22:44:22 GMT
"Nothing to resolve." I shrug slightly, straightening up just to cross my arms. "So yes, I think it is just you. You and Riyann are all happily ever after again, what I feel is my problem, and that's that. Nothing to resolve. Now can we please just try and pretend it never happened?"
It takes me half a second to realize that I just said that aloud, and I quickly look up at the ceiling in an effort to pretend that I didn't.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 22:48:04 GMT
I nodded slight at what she said first, expecting the answer myself before hearing her start to talk again. I looked up from the floor to her watched her carefully as she continued. I definately wasn't expecting that second part and it sort of took me off guard, leaving me unsure of what to say back to her.
"Your problem?" I asked quietly, not taking my eyes off her yet, watching as she looked up to the ceiling.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 22:50:44 GMT
I shrug, still looking at the ceiling despite how childish it probably is. And I honestly don't know what to respond to that, other than 'yes, my problem, why?' I don't think he's really asked a valid question.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 22:56:21 GMT
"Well, I mean.." I paused again, shrugging slightly, taking my eyes off her for a moment. "Do um.. Do you like me then?" I asked her softly, looking back to her for a moment, wondering if I should've asked that too, but it's the only valid reason I could think of as to why it was be her problem.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 23:00:47 GMT
I drop my eyes to the ground now, but also close them again.
"Doesn't really matter, does it? Either way, it's my problem." I shrug slightly.
Of course I do, you idiot. Why else would I kiss back?
The obvious answer to that, of course, is that I was temporarily deluded just like he was, but I'd rather be annoyed just for a moment inside my own head.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 23:08:10 GMT
I took that answer as a yes, and was glad that she said that instead of just denying it. "Just.. um.." I paused again, rubbing the back of my neck for a moment. "... I dunno what to say." I said softly looking up to her again. "I just don't want things to be awkward.. or weird between us.. and I want you to know that I wouldn't've kissed you if I didn't like you at all.." I said, finding it kind of funny how I thought of something to say after saying I didn't know what to say.
A moment after I said that I took the water off the stove and poured some into a mug.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 23:13:39 GMT
"But it really doesn't matter, does it?" I ask again, a bit wearily. I'm just second best with you.
"And that's why I'd really just rather not talk about it," I continue after a pause. "It's quite a bit less awkward that way."
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 23:22:26 GMT
I paused again, looking down at the counter, not facing her for a moment after she said the first question. "Um.. no." I said quietly, not turning around just yet. "I guess not.." I added picking up my mug and leaning against the counter again. "I can't really decide that for myself though, can I?" I asked looking over to her again. I couldn't help who I loved or who I liked and as much as I would've wanted to sometimes, especially over the years with everything that I've gone through.
"Right.." I said softly, "I'm sorry." I told her as I looked up into her eyes. "I'll try my best not to talk about it." Which I some reason had difficulty doing. In situations like these I don't want anyone to get hurt, so I keep trying to make it better, or something else along those lines, which never really helped at all. It's making me want to like her back the same way in return, but still love Riyann. I really think something's wrong with me.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 23:27:55 GMT
I nod, looking down at the ground again and biting my lip. All of a sudden I'm wondering if there's anyone else here, because this really isn't a conversation I particularly want overheard. But that's mildly irrelevant.
"Least said, soonest mended, right?" I shrug, not responding to the part about how he can't really choose for it to matter or how to feel. Obviously that's true, and there's nothing else to say.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 23:30:37 GMT
"I'm not sure it really works that way with this situation.." I said shaking my head a little bit, looking up at her again. "As much as I'm sure you want it to.."
She didn't comment about what I said really and it didn't really phase me too much. The question wasn't really meant to be answered. It could have been, but it was up to her whether or not she said anything.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 23:34:57 GMT
"I really don't see how it can help, anyway, to keep talking about it." I shrug slightly. "Dammit, why do you think I've been avoiding you? It's better that way, simpler. Or, at the least, to just forget it."
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 23:43:14 GMT
"I don't know either.. I guess nothing can really help the situation." I said quietly, actually forgeting that I made tea as I held it in my hands. "I'm sorry.. maybe you're right." I said shaking my head a little bit. "... Maybe it is better that way." I added softly with a sigh.
"I just don't want it to happen that way.. to not see you. You're still my friend.." I said with a small nod, looking up to her. About to add that I did like kissing her and wouldn't mind doing it again, but stopping myself, shaking my head a little bit. "I feel so fucking messed up." I said quietly, gesturning a little bit and feeling some of the hot tea hit my skin. I cursed slightly under my breath, turning around again and setting the mug down before running it under some cold water from the sink.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Jul 30, 2008 23:47:06 GMT
.... Other than the fact I haven't got a lot of close friends left, and really don't want to just avoid you forever, I think, too distracted to realize he's saying basically the same thing, and snapping out of it to straighten up again when he burns himself.
"Well, that was graceful of you," I mutter under my breath. "Are you all right?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 30, 2008 23:52:49 GMT
"Tell me about it.." I mutter quietly back to her with a small sigh, shutting the water off and drying it off a little bit, it still burning. I nodded slightly when she asked if I was all right, "I'm fine.. just burns a little." I said quietly glancing up to her again. It might've burned a little more than I lead onto, but I didn't think it was really important to mention. Stupid boiling water.
Right now, I'm starting to wonder just how much I do actually like her. I can't really seem to set it to scale how much I do. I'm also starting to feel bad that by the time this all ended up happening, I already was married with children. Who knows what would've happend if this all went down when Riyann wasn't living. Everything might've been different. You never really know..
I kind of started understanding why Riyann left now as well. She wanted to see who she loved more.. to compare the two of us maybe. And now I was starting to wonder if I should give Arden a chance like Riyann had given Shelby.. but I knew I couldn't do that... or at least I shouldn't.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 1, 2008 2:22:26 GMT
"Considering it's a burn, that might make a bit of sense," I murmur under my breath, offhandedly, because it's easier to focus on making remarks like that than it is to think about what else we've just been discussing. It's funny, in a way, that I'm so opposed to discussing it. Normally, I'm a very big fan of the idea that talking is the best solution to anything. But not to this. No matter what might be said, nothing will really change - he'll still be with Riyann and it still should not have happened.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 1, 2008 3:21:29 GMT
"Obviously.." I muttered quietly back to her, looking down at the burn on my hand. Really, I'm sure I could've done something for it, but I wasn't sure where I put my wand and I didn't really feel like looking for it. So after a moment of looking at it, I dropped my hand and tried to push the thought of it away from my mind.
I didn't really know what to say to her anymore and overall, I was getting confused. I like Arden. I knew that I did, but I love Riyann, which does, in my opinion overrule like, but I didn't know why I was having such an issue with this.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 1, 2008 14:16:53 GMT
"Hm...." I nod, looking down at the floor. There's really nothing else to say at this point, at least on that subject, so I fall silent.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 1, 2008 14:19:50 GMT
"This shouldn't be this confusing.." I said quietly, shaking my head a little bit, glancing up to her before looking down at my tea deciding that I didn't really want it now that it burned me and proceeded to dump it down the sink, leaving the mug in it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 1, 2008 14:24:50 GMT
I glance over at him as he says that, just about to ask where everybody else is, just to break the silence. I mull over replies for a moment, trying to settle on the best before asking, "What shouldn't be this confusing?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 1, 2008 14:27:16 GMT
"I like you and I love Riyann.. This shouldn't be something I have to think about." I said shaking my head a little, glancing up to her for a moment.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 1, 2008 14:30:55 GMT
"No, not really," I agree with a sigh, closing my eyes again and wishing for a moment I was standing by a wall so I could hammer my head against it in frustration. "So... don't think about it," I add, looking back at him again. "I should be going now."
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 1, 2008 14:34:28 GMT
I sighed slightly, looking down at the floor. I nodded slightly at what she said about not thinking about it. I guess that would be the best thing to do. I shook my head a little. "Can you stay?" I asked looking over to her. "I'll shut up about it.."
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 2, 2008 2:13:15 GMT
I pause a moment, biting my lip and looking away... then nod. "All right. I can do that."
It's not really being much of a friend, I suppose, if I just leave again so soon.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 2, 2008 2:16:41 GMT
I nodded a little, "Thanks.." I said bitng my lip a little bit. "So we can just talk about something else..."
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 2, 2008 2:22:02 GMT
"Right...." I nod, then laugh very slightly. "Now if only I knew what that should be...."
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 2, 2008 2:27:48 GMT
I laughed a little and nodded. "Right.. um.. I have no idea what either."
|
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 2, 2008 2:32:09 GMT
"Nothing much to talk about, I guess." I shrug slightly.
|
|
|
|
Post by Riley Pearson on Aug 2, 2008 2:36:35 GMT
I shrugged a little bit, "Yeah.. I guess not." I said shaking my head a little bit. "We can.. do something else instead.. um.. scrabble?" I asked with a small chuckle.
|
|
