Insane [Rose]

[Jonathon Eden]

Before today, Jon never thought a name meant much. Each name had a meaning, but most of the time the said meaning never reflected the person themself. His name was hebrew and had the simple meaning, "God has given". God has given what? Thinking of his sister, Rose, her name was pretty much straight forward. Rose. As Jon thought about it, her name fit her for the most part.
She's the exception...

But nameing a son after their father is horrid. When the father talks to his son Jon is sure he will feel as if he is talking to himself. So because of this a stupid nickname is put in place and the little boy is stuck with a name like 'Davey' or 'AJ' or somethnig along those lines for the rest of his life. Jon has nothing against those nicknames, but Jon didn't see the point in nameing a child if your just going to call them something else.

As Jon walked down Rose and Jack's street Jon decided that he was going to have to call the little boy David probably. That or Johnny, or-...Something. Sighing softly Jon can feel the weight of the letter in his pocket like a thousand bricks. Each sentance adding on more pounds and every letter adding onto the pain of it. Jon could barely make himself look at his niece and nephew, how was he supposed to look at and care for his son? To make matters worse, this little boy was no more than a stranger to Jon.
He wasn't going to get through this.

So, as he took another step, this was why he was going to see Rose. Jonathon Jr. was due in tomorrow, and Jon still had no idea what to do. He could easily take care of a child. e had learned enough from just watching Rose for all these years. But there was still the factor that he could barely look at a child without feeling the immense guilt crashing down on him.

Sighing softly, Jon comes in view of Rose and Jacks home. He hoped more than anything that it was just Rose home, or at elast just Jack. He didn't want to see Faith or Nathen. If they were there he'd have to go and spend another couple of days in the pyso ward. Jon had taken advantage of that in the pasy tears. Thigns get to hard, he'd just go to mungos for a few days and they'd fix him right and good. Now though, eh couldn't just go there for a few days. He has duties now.

As Jon comes up on Rose's door stop, Jon is fearful if she does answer, even if that is the best case scenario. But the fact that Jon looks absloutly dreadful could be a problem. Not that he looks sloppy with his clothing and hair, which is always, but there's a certian look about him. Yes, his hair is sticking up every which way. But his eyes seem almost hallow. There is a nervos gleam in the his eyes as he glances around every now and then almost like he thinks he's going to get attacked any moment. The color on Jon's face has gone down a few shades, and he shaking slightly. Only his hands though. But the main point is that Jon looks like a complete mess, much like most of the times right before he admits himself to Mungo's for a psychiatric help.
As Jon catches his reflection in a window Jon sighs. He looks like a walking insane asylum.

As Jon lets out another sigh he reaches up and knocks on the door, praying with all his might that it be Rose, but then half begging that it be anyone but Rose. She'll notice in an instant that Jon is in over his head and unfourtantly she knows this look better than anyone else.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

Rose was pretty swamped today. It was, incredibly, one of those days where Anna would turn up unexpectedly with her kids and just look at Rose wordlessly until she ushered her niece and nephew inside, then she would say thank you and turn to leave without an explanation.
Rose was quite used to this by now, even if it didn't happen often. It only happened when everyone else Anna knew couldn't babysit that day. Then again, Rose didn't really mind all that much. Nathan seemed to like his cousins being there anyway.

So now she was trying to stop four kids from doing stupid things as compared to the usual two.
"Jo," She smiled imploringly at her niece who was deliberately sitting in the way of where the two boys were trying to play fight, "Honey, come over here for me?"
"Mother doesn't agree with nicknames," Was the only reply that she received. Josephine stubbornly sat in the way.
Yes, you're just like your mother aren't you? Rose couldn't quite stop herself from thinking that.
"Well, sorry, Josephine," She shook her head with a wry smile, "Aunt Rose's house, Aunt Rose's rules. Nicknames are allowed here."
"Yeah!" Nathan poked her in the forehead to emphasis the point, and Nicholas followed suit, "Yeah, Joooooooo."
Narrowing her eyes, Josephine got up, flouncing over to the couch where Rose sat with Faith next to her.
"See, we just leave the boys to be boys," Rose smiled by way of compensation, brushing her nieces blonde hair behind her ear, "And we can sit and be peaceful over here, huh?"
"Like cowards!"
"Yeah!"
"Thank you Nicky, thank you Nate. Go back to killing each other," She hauled Josephine up onto the couch on Faith's other side, "Alright?"
Grinning, Faith reached up to tangle her fingers in Josephine's hair, but thankfully she didn't seem to mind. Rose was very very grateful. She couldn't split up the six year old from all of them at the same time.

She was even more grateful when she heard the door. This day had all the marks of it that it was going to be a long one.
She hadn't seen Jack before he'd left for work, she was stuck with four kids, one of which was an exact replica of her mother, two of which were overly hyper boys, and a two year old which speaks for itself. Yes, it was going to be a long day, so she was glad of the distraction of a visitor to break it up.

As she opens the door though, she nearly winces but manages to stop herself. She made a point when she knew Jon was coming round to drop Nate and Fay with Charlie or Nathan or someone so they wouldn't be in the house when he was here. Now he'd caught her out though, as there were more than the usual in the living room.
Her first thought as she really looked at him though was 'What's happened?' but she didn't voice this. She knew that look on her brother, it was the 'teetering on the verge of insanity' look, which meant something had pushed him a little too far.
Instead, she just spoke cautiously, trying to keep the concern from her tone as if she couldn't see how much of a mess that he looked, "Hey Jon."

[Jonathon Eden]

As soon as she had opened the door Jon could hear them. But it was more than the usual them. Jon felt his throat dry up and his eyes go wide as he took an invoulntary step back away from the door as if that would help him some how.

Bringing his gaze back to Rose he just stared at her for a few moments in silence. He couldn't believe that he had come here. Yes, Rose was at the top of the list of the people that he liked, and was noramlly the one he turned to for help but she didn't have all the answers. Jon was starting to wonder if she would have the answer for this, but Jon still had hope. Without a word Jon reached into his pocket and took out the letter. He reached forward, grabbing onto one of her hands and putting the letter, opened up in the palm of her hand.

As he stood there in silence yet again, Jon couldn't help but hate Jennier. She was the reason the he had gotten twice as much in the order, which he was already involded in immensely, because she had cheated on him and he needed something to replace her. So that led to him having to be in the battle, which ended in the-...Jon winced just getting near to thinking about what had happened. And now she was sending him their child like it was some kind of package, which made him have the state of mind he had currently.

Deep down Jon knew that none of this was her fault and she didn't know about everything that had happened, but still. Blameing her helped. "Rosie-...I don't know what to do." He says, voice cracking.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

She tried desperately hard to ignore the gesture of him stepping back and away from the door. She knew that this was just how things were and she shouldn't push for things to be perfect and how they should be.
She did wish that Nate and Fay could know their Uncle properly though, the way it should be. She knew before...his aversion to children, he would have got on with them so well.

She quickly got sidetracked off this though, frowning ever so slightly as he pressed the letter into her hands.
She scanned it through once and her frown deepened, and then read it properly and painstakingly slowly through again and her frown cleared all together as the information worked it's way into her brain, and it made perfect sense.
What she didn't know, was what on earth she was supposed to do about this.

"Come on in," She said quietly after a moment, clutching the letter in one fist and lightly putting her other hand on his arm, "Sit down, we'll talk, we'll work it out, it'll be okay."
Then she came to the conclusion almost immediately after speaking that she probably wasn't going to get him inside with all of the kids charging round the living room.
So she gestured vaguely behind her, "I was going to put them all out in the garden anyway. They can get a bit of fresh air, and we can talk properly, okay?"

[Jonathon Eden]

As soon as she said come in, Jon took another step back. "No, no, no." He said quickly shaking his head. There was no way he was going to get any closer to those children. He wasn't going to be able to stand it. His mind was already standing on the edge, and getting any closer to them would send him over. Even more so than he was right now, which Jon knew couldn't be heathly or safe.

Standing firm in his ground, Jon looked down to his sister he took a deep breath. "They won't be in there?" He mumbles to her. Closeing his eyes for a brief moment after he said that Jon knew that he was going to have to get a better control of things, and a soon.
"I need to go to mungo's." He said in a crisp tone. Jon knew that the fact that he was so dependent on Mungo's in situations like this wasn't helping him way. Sure for that short amount of time where he could at least be in the same room as a child, but then he'd just crash back down. If anything this constant in and out of the mental hospital was making him worse, but Jon didn't give a crap about anything at the moment.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

"No," She said firmly.
She rarely spoke firmly to her brother, in fact maybe this was the second time in her whole life, possibly third.
She couldn't let him go back to St Mungo's, especially now with this. He had responsibility now, and not just to her or his friends. She wouldn't let him go back to St Mungo's.

"They won't be in there," She insisted softly, "I promise. I'll get them outside, we can talk about this properly. Jon, please?"
She couldn't say it to him, because she didn't have the nerve or anything, but he needed to get better. He'd needed to get better for over ten years, but now it was a matter of importance. St Mungo's would not get him better, it hadn't so far. A temporary fix is not better.

[Jonathon Eden]

Jon looked down at Rose, ready to open his mouth to argue her but saw no point. He wasn't up to argueing with her today. He never was, but today more so than other. His frown deepening slightly though Jon walking into the home, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looked around.

He could see the children in the living room and he felt a shiver run up his spine. Closeing his eyes and turning to the wall on tried to occupy himself with the photos on the wall, pretending that they were oh so interesting. The problem was that they were children in the pics. Sighing again Jon turned and looked over to Rose.

He wasn't sure if he was happy or angry with her. He wanted to go to Mungo's. Those tempoary fixes had become his addiction, the only reason he's made it this far. He needed those, and here she was refuseing to admit him into Mungo's. He couldn't get there on his own right now. He barely made it here, but she said no. Sighign for a third and final time Jon looked down at his feet praying and hoping that the children wouldn't notice him and Rose would hurry up with getting them out of the room.

Thinking of this for a moment, Jon relized that this was very cruel to them. They didn't understand why Jon coulndn't stand looking at them. And it just made things harder on Rose, but Jon couldn't help it.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

"Who is that?" Nicholas leaned past Rose as she attempted to get him to follow the clear hint of her hand on his shoulder, steering him lightly in the direction of the back door. It was too hard to get the attention of two eight and nine year old boys.
"Jon," Nathan glanced past her as well, saying it conspiratively under his breath as if it was a well kept secret.
"Ohhhhh."
Rose gave up trying to get them out nicely as they ignored her and continued shoving each other, so she hauled her own son up into her arms, nudging her nephew with her knee in his back, "Come on out. Fresh air. Can run around freely. Sound fun?"
She only spared one brief glance over her shoulder at Jon, almost pleadingly to beg him not to just turn round and walk off.

Josephine wasn't exactly planning on following Rose outside either, even if she obviously knew what the plan was.
"I know who you are," Her glare was impressive for a six year old, and Rose had to hurry back inside as it occured to her she'd left the most dangerous inside.
"No you don't honey, come on," Rose murmured, blowing her bangs out of her face and giving Josephine a little push in the way of the back door away, "Go and keep an eye on them, sweetie? Thank you."

Pushing her bangs back off her face once they'd fallen back into her eyes again, she looked up at Jon with a weary smile, "Nothing to it."
She took his hand after that, pulling him into the living room and pushing him towards the couch, then internally wincing, quickly moving in front of him and picking up Faith to move her out of the way as well.

[Jonathon Eden]

Jon just stared down at the children as they tried to speak to him. He felt his throat dry up and tighten, and his jaw clentching. Blinking a few times he just kept starring. Everything was seeming like ti was spinning and Jon didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to stand this.
"I know who you are,"

Watching Rose user his niece out of the room Jon started to wonder what she meant by that. Surely his younger sister didn't speak of him to her children. Why would she even bother to do such a thing? Anna barely gave him the time of day, why would her children. But it wasn't that he wanted it, no complete opposite. He was perfectly fine with Anna out of his life, and yet here were her children.

As he sat on the couch Jon saw Faith and Jon chocked on the air passing through his throat. There were to many of them. They were everywhere and he couldn't handle it. "Rose-...Rose-...I've g-got to go." He stuttered out shaking his head.

[Rose Tucker]

"No, stay," She murmured, "Nearly clear."
She didn't like having to do this, to just have to push her children and her niece and nephew out of the way because Jon was here, but she didn't have much of choice.
"Just going to take this little one upstairs, and I'll be back," She glanced at him imploringly to support this, before turning quickly before he could reply and heading upstairs.

Faith was two, admittedly. But she was the youngest and still only a baby in Rose's eyes, and she didn't want to put her outside with the others, just in case.
So she just mumbled a brief reassurance to her before setting her down in the cot upstairs and heading back down the stairs two at a time.
It was definitely one of those days.

"Jon, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you'd be coming over," She said to him carefully, ignoring the voice inside her head that told her she shouldn't apologise for being a mother.

[Jonathon Eden]

"There's no reason for you to apologise..." He mummers clasping his hands over his knees looking down at the ground trying to get a hold of himself again. Yes he couldn't stand being a room with a child, but that didn't mean he still couldn't think clearly. Well in most things at least. Jon knew that this wasn't right and he should just go and crawl under a rock or something, but he needed to be around Rose. He needed his little sister. Taking a deep breath Jon closed her eyes Jon ran his hands up his arms and looked down again.

Taking a few moments Jon finally mumbled, "I can't do it Rose..." He shook his head, "I can't do it. You see how-...You see how I am." Jon added, not being able to think of better words. But having a child around 24/7...That was going to be hard. Impossible.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

"Then you have to get better," She spoke in her usual airy tone, one hand resting on her hip casually as if the topic had no significance at all, because she couldn't quite speak the words as harshly as she needed to.

"And don't you say 'can't' Jonathon David Eden," She reprimanded, finding it a little bit easier to say this - the maternal side of her she supposed, "You can and you will and you owe it to your son. You can stay here if you want, just to start off with. We can get you used to it gradually, and I'll help as much as you need."

[Jonathon Eden]

Jon shook his head stubbonly, much like a child. "I don't want him Rose. I can't raise him." He says crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I'll surely go insane if I'm here." He added, which was true. "Even more so than I already am."

Jon also wondered how Jack would feel about such a thing. Jon barely spoke to him to begin with and the fact that they had gotten into so many fights years ago, Jon didn't know where they stood and Jon just moving in...Well that would be a little awkward for the both of them.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

"He is your son! Yours! And you're not being fair," She crossed her arms across her chest, to show that she wasn't going to back down on this.
Rose always backed down, she practically had 'doormat' stamped across her forehead. And she especially hated fighting with Jon.
He was making her feel ill though. She knew he wasn't...right, of course she did. And in the ten years that he'd been...that way, practically everything had been tried to fix him. Now he really really needed to be fixed.

"What's your alternative for him?" She asked sharply, "If not go to you, then where would he go? Your his only chance and you won't even try. This could help you, it could save you, fix you, Jon."

[Jonathon Eden]

Jon sat there looking down, knowing that she was right. He had no where else to go besides with him. Looking back up at Rose he shook his head again, but just for the sole purpose of shaking his head at the whole situation. There was no way that he was going to be able to, but Rose wasn't going to back down. He could tell that already.

Running a hand through the small amount of hair he had on his head Jon tried to figure out what to do or say. "Rosie..." He muttered but stopped short.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

She felt thoroughly ridiculous after this small outburst and promptly flushed a pale pink, but she stood fast, arm still folded so tightly across her chest that she was hardly letting herself breathe.
"I'm sorry about that, but it's what I think. Feel free to ignore me," She nodded curtly, glancing away from him as she spoke.
But if you do, I will certainly think less of you.
She would, although she would never say that. She didn't think she could look her brother in the eye for a while if he were to let this pass, because this was his own blood, her blood too she supposed, and that's not something you're supposed to ignore.

[Jonathon Eden]

"There's no way for me to ignore you." He muttered. Jon knew she was right, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let her know that. No sir, she wasn't going to get that. It wasn't that Jon was angry with her at the moment, he just hated being wrong and he hated it with a passion at the moment.

"It'll be just like old times, huh?" He muttered pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just add in a few kids and a bigger home. Might as well start making fun of your gardening job name again I suppose."

[Rose Tucker]

She let out a small shaky breath surruptiously when she felt it was okay to do so.
Now she felt guilty. Really guilty.
She was messing up Jon's life by pressuring him and she shouldn't.
But she didn't know what else to do.
So she was at her wits end.
It was probably karmic justice circling back round from when she'd put him through hell by being so stubbornly miserable.
"I'm sorry," She mumbled again, "You know you don't have to do anything? I'm sorry, Jon. I should just keep quiet. It's not up to me."

[Jonathon Eden]

Jon let out a soft chuckle. "I was so close..." He mutters. "So close to getting you to speak your mind and not back down, and then you back down." Jon added in a teaseing voice. It was true, Jon had been wanting Rose to say what she wanted to say. He jsut hadn't been persueing it as much lately, and lately meaning the past ten years.

"You don't have to say sorry to me Rose, you know that." He adds looking up at her. As he sat there for a few more moments Jon remembered something. Winceing slightly Jon looked up. "There's something that I forgot to tell you.."

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

She smiled a little sheepishly at that, glad of the sense of relief that it must actually be okay if now he was sort of laughing and being normal-ish.
Maybe there was still hope yet.
Or maybe not.
"Something you forgot to tell me? What? Jon?"

[Jonathon Eden]

"I'm having Jennifer's friend drop him off here," He mumbled quickly under his breath. Jon knew that it probably wasn't the best thing to do but, oh well he already did.

[Rose Tucker]

Rose put her hand briefly to her forehead, then back on her hip as she nodded, "Alright then."
The thought struck her briefly how she was supposed to explain this to Jack. She knew he didn't notice everything all the time, but she was pretty sure he'd notice if there were suddenly two more people in the house.
It wasn't like she'd seen him properly in a few days anyway. It might as well be the war again as far as they were concerned. Still working, nearly all the time, it felt. So it didn't really matter what he had to say about this anyway.
"It's sorted then."

[Jonathon Eden]

"I'm sorry Rosie." Jon mumbles looking around the room. Anything to do but make eye contact with her. He couldn't help but feel bad for what he had done. Jon knew that this was going to stir up his sisters life, and along with her family's to.

[/blockquote]

[Rose Tucker]

"Oh don't be silly," She said absently, sitting down lightly on the couch next to him, moving her thin frail arm round his shoulders as best she could considering how broad he was compared to her, "No problem at all."

[Jonathon Eden]

Jon looked over at her, then couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Either I'm massive or you're just microscopic." He mumbled, but a small up turn on his lips.

[Rose Tucker]

"I'm normal sized, you're massive," She teased softly, then rested her head on his shoulder, mumbling against his shirt sleeve, "Thank you for doing this. It's the right thing."

[Jonathon Eden]

"Oh how nice," Jon mummers back luaghing softly. He felt a frown flicker on his face slightly, "Yeah, yeah. Right thing. Got it."

[Rose Tucker]

"You love me," She smiled, tilting her head up to look at him properly again, then watched the frown flicker slightly and shook her head, "It is. Trust me."

[Jonathon Eden]

"Yeah," Jon smiled slightly looking down at her clipping her chin lightly, then rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go even more crazy than I am."

[Rose Tucker]

"You can't get any crazier," She was only half-joking, but she stuck her tongue out at him to lighten the seriousness of the comment.