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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2012 3:06:57 GMT
"I don't know... why would he bother buying me a Christmas present and then trying to kill me?"
I realize I sound a bit sarcastic, and hysterical, and also that I'm gripping the countertop and possibly that I am not as okay as I'd like to be. I force myself to breathe, calming down.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 20, 2012 3:14:00 GMT
He wasn't expecting this turn in the conversation, but despite that, she did have a pretty valid point there coming from someone who didn't know what the hell was going on. Why would he? Right, because he was ordered to. At least, that's what Riley thought he said.
"It sounds like he wasn't planning on killing you." Riley commented in a somewhat softer tone.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2012 3:20:59 GMT
"Oh? Did he tell you that, too?" I'm not quite so hysterical now, but definitely bitter, and speak mainly to the counter before taking another deep breath. "... Sorry. I guess I'm a little... it's been a busy week." I force a smile, looking up briefly. "Possibly I needed to rant some about this and I didn't, so now it's bursting out some inappropriately. Sorry."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 20, 2012 3:31:22 GMT
"Not exactly, but it's what it sounded like..." He replied as Arden took a deep breath. He shook his head at her apology again, "I don't mind if you have to rant more- it's understandable." At this, he reached out and placed his hand on top of hers and smiled softly at her. "I think I've ranted more about essays than you have about this." Riley added with a somewhat amused tone.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2012 3:44:04 GMT
I laugh once, realize my eyes have filled with tears and swat them away, and move my hand despite my better judgment so now I'm holding his, feeling far, far more grateful than I ought to just for human contact. "I think I've ranted more about essays than I have about this." I laugh again weakly, still huddled in as much of a protective ball as I can be - other than the hand-holding.
"I just - I don't.... I don't want it to matter, and it shouldn't, 'cause it's weak. I want to shrug it off, and 'no big deal,' and move on, you know? So I've been tortured, almost killed.... Happens all the time, you know? And so it shouldn't matter, and... and even though I know that's sort of stupid, I still... I don't want to be hurt that my brother tried to kill me. I don't want to be cold, and betrayed, and jumping at shadows and snapping at people 'cause... 'cause I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be the girl, the chick, the damsel. I just want to shrug it off, and not need a hug, and not go ranting on when you have problems of your own and I'm all right, you know? I didn't actually die and so... so I should just move on."
I shrug, taking a very deep breath, and offer another weak smile. "... Am I making any sense? Or should I just shut up?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 20, 2012 4:05:06 GMT
She took his hand instead of swatting it away like he thought she may have and he smiled, laughing some with her when she replied with the same thing he did. Essays were quite awful, but nearly being killed is much higher on the list of annoyances in Riley's opinion.
"Some things aren't as easy to brush off, Arden," He started once she was finished speaking, "It is a big deal and it does matter and by all means just because this happened doesn't make you weak- At least not in my opinion."
"Never shut up," He added with a faint smile back to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2012 4:20:18 GMT
I smile again, more genuinely, and tighten my grip on his hand.
"... I know," I say finally. "In theory, anyway. And if it were anyone else I'd be wrapping them in blankets and force-feeding cookies and generally just being very irritating. But... but I don't.... I don't want to hurt. And maybe if I say it doesn't hurt and toughen up...." I shrug, having said it all before. Except for how appreciative I am that he's still here, and... well, that he's here.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 20, 2012 4:31:16 GMT
He chuckled at the mental image of what she had just described to him. He didn't know why, but the thought of Arden force feeding someone cookies was kind of hilarious.
"I have a feeling toughening up might not help the situation," He replied softly, "I think you just need time, Arden."
"... I'll always be around if you need someone. Even if it's three o' clock in the morning." He smiled.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 21, 2012 4:32:36 GMT
Time. Yeah, maybe. But can't time hurry up?
I smile yet again at his next words, and squeeze his hand once before finally letting go, shaking my sleeves over my hands and hunkering down even though I'm not so cold anymore... not entirely. "... I think you read my mind," I say finally. "And... I don't know if this will make sense, or even how to say it, but... I think you're actually someone I would go to at three in the morning. Which really just sounds selfish, but what I mean... what I'm trying to say is... thank you." I laugh faintly. "And how much I appreciate that as not just empty words. I mean, well, obviously not empty words, but.... Thank you. Maybe we'll just leave it at that." I roll my eyes at my own rambling, smiling again.
I wish I could actually convey how very deeply grateful I am... but maybe it won't work in words. Or I don't know the right ones.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 1:05:38 GMT
She squeezes his hand once more before letting go and he smiles over to her, noticing her pulling her sleeves down over her hands. He was glad to hear that she would go to him whenever she needed someone- it meant a lot that they were close enough for her to feel comfortable doing that. "I don't see how that sounds selfish," Riley commented with a small smile, "You're welcome." He replied with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Can I hug you again, or...?" His voice trailed off as he looked over to her with a faint smile on his face.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 2:54:23 GMT
"No... I'd actually really appreciate that." I smile faintly. "Unlike usual."
I'm not exactly sure, of course, how to go about hugging someone when we're sitting on opposite sides of a table. Do we both stand up and just have a planned hug? That seems weird.
"You don't have to, though."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 3:15:02 GMT
He smiled back and let out a small chuckle as she added, 'unlike usual'. Riley never really understood why she didn't like hugs- but he guessed he was just more of a hugging kind of person.
"Did I not just ask?" He asked with a light, somewhat amused smile over to her as he stood up and walked over to her side of the table. Planned hugs were very often potentially awkward, but he hoped maybe they could somehow get around that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 3:21:15 GMT
Well, I can't very well just sit here now. "I told you, you don't have to," I say, standing up and nudging him playfully - then reaching out and hugging him anyway.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 3:25:54 GMT
He laughed when she nudged him and he then proceeded to hug her in return, wrapping his arms around her. "If I didn't want to I wouldn't have asked," He answered through a smile.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 3:30:20 GMT
"Well...." I trail off, having nothing to say here, and lay my head against his shoulder just a moment... just because. "You're good to have around, you know that?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 3:39:00 GMT
He smiled feeling her head against his shoulder. This really was far too comfortable for him to be hugging her. "That's good because I'm pretty difficult to get rid of," He added a bit more quietly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 3:52:36 GMT
I pull away, finally, and scramble for a quip that's clever but not mean... before settling on, "Good. 'Cause I try pretty hard to cast people off once in a while."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 4:12:50 GMT
Arden pulls away before Riley really wants her to, though they probably would have been standing there for a while otherwise, so maybe it was good that she decided to make that move. His hands lingered on her for a moment before sliding off and falling to his sides- he was suddenly very conscious of his hands and wasn't sure what to do them. "Well..." He trailed off, what was he going to say again? "I'll just keep coming back so..." He smiled softly as he trailed off quietly. Despite that they were no longer hugging, he stayed standing somewhat close to her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 4:16:42 GMT
I know I probably shouldn't, but something about this makes me laugh, try as I might to contain it. Maybe it's the inherent cheesiness; I don't know. I clap a hand across my mouth and try to apologize with my laugh, but only end up laughing further.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 4:21:49 GMT
She starts laughing and he is a little confused for a moment, but found the laughter to be somewhat contagious anyway. A light grin falls onto his face and he laughs with her. "I'm sorry- I guess that was kind of cheesy, wasn't it?" He asks through more laughter, looking down into her eyes.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 4:26:52 GMT
I shake my head, hand still over my mouth, until I finally manage to stifle the last giggle. "Oh, god no. You're not cheesy. And you never, ever, ever use puns or... tell knock-knock jokes." I shake my head again, leaning back against the counter. "I think this is why I like you, paradoxically. You sometimes make me want to gouge my ears off, or gag, but... it's different, you know?" I smile faintly, trying to let him know I'm only teasing.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 4:51:16 GMT
Riley continued laughing as she started to explain and moved back to lean against the counter that they were both standing near. "So I make you want to gag," He started through a light grin that was still hanging around from the laughing as he began to take a few steps closer to her, "But in a good way?" He finished with another laugh, leaning onto the counter next to her, but not really leaving much space in between the two of them. He thought it strange how he could nearly be insulted and still want to kiss her- taken, she was kidding, at least, maybe she was kidding. Either way though, he still wanted to.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 5:03:19 GMT
"Different from what I'm used to, yeah. So, good." I shrug, smiling again. "Now you get to insult me. It's only fair."
I'm not really insulting him, granted. Not really. Not the way I tend to think of insults. I'm not really heaping praise and compliments, either, but there can't be only those extremes.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 5:36:42 GMT
"Good," He replied with another laugh, "I don't want to insult you," He shook his head. He really couldn't think of anything- even though he would just be kidding, whatever he said was going to end up sounding very lame. "It's impossible," He added smiling down to her, gently moving a piece of her hair away from her face and behind her ear. After he spoke, he could almost hear her mentally cringe or gag or whatever he made her do earlier. Riley was suddenly aware of how quiet it was in the kitchen as his hand lingered near her hair after brushing some of it behind her ear. He looked down at her still smiling some from their conversation and a moment later, leaned down and kissed her gently. ( if you thought that was too quick, feel free to omit the last part  ) |
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 5:57:38 GMT
No, it's not.But the automatic rebuttal is more halfhearted than usual... weak and uncertain and kind of far away; easy to dismiss because even though it's true, it doesn't really matter at the moment because right now I'm with someone who thinks it's true, and he's just touched my hair and although I think I know where this is going I'm just going to let it go there. What the hell. So... I kiss him back, against my better judgment and despite the faint hint of distress, because... what the hell. He likes me and I like him and it's a very nice kiss and I think I will shut up my brain now. Oh, hell. ((Okay, I lied. I was hanging around the internet waiting to see what you'd post, even though I kept telling myself to go sleep. And... yeah.))
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 16:22:05 GMT
It's always nice when the person you end up kissing kisses you back. It was much better than the alternative of leaning in to kiss someone only to have them lean back and leave you in a very awkard position in more ways than one. Luckily he didn't have to worry about that though because she did kiss him back and it was nice, so he leaned in a little more and kissed her with a little more certainty for the situation- moving his free hand to her waist.
( jenniee, lol, if I knew that I would have been hanging around the site to see what you posted, lol )
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 22:46:19 GMT
Shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't.... I wrap my arms around his neck and keep kissing him, trying to drown out the sound of my conscience even though it's pricking me occasionally with little bits of guilt. There's nothing wrong with what we're doing... there isn't.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 23:04:05 GMT
He stepped closer to her when her arms went around his neck- it was one of those moments that he wished he were shorter or she were taller or something so this could be done more easily. It ran across his mind how they shouldn't be doing this- or more so how he shouldn't be doing it- Arden was not dating a chosi; at least, not as far as he knew. A few more moments passed and he gently pulled away from the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. He kissed her again, but this time was much shorter before returning his forehead to hers again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 22, 2012 23:25:49 GMT
We really shouldn't have done that.
I close my eyes again and catch my breath, wavering painfully between staying where I am - which is nice and very comfortable - and breaking away because it's the right thing to do. Instead I compromise, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "... We probably shouldn't have done that." And every single word is painful to say, to the point I have to force myself to finish the stupid sentence 'cause it's ever so much easier not to, and maybe I should just shut up and let him say it, if he wants to, because I'm not the one who's cheating here. But I still shouldn't have done it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 22, 2012 23:42:41 GMT
He took in a breath and let out a small sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them again. She had just said what he had been thinking- no, they shouldn't have done that, but that didn't mean that it wasn't very comfortable to be standing there like this or how nice it actually was to do that. Riley sure was an idiot- it was really starting to sink in just that much more with him how not smart this was for him to do- for both of their sake.
"Probably not," And with that, he knows he should move and she probably will soon anyway, but he just stays where he is.
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