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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 29, 2009 17:37:11 GMT
Ah, right. Didn't think so. So it's not the same at all, I want to tell him, but don't bother.
"'Course I'm talking about Logan," I mutter. "Unless you think that Travis faked his death in the first place because I drove him away too."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 29, 2009 17:46:46 GMT
"Nearly did at one point though I think..." I said quietly, almost to myself before she continued.
I frowned slightly and shrugged faintly, "Sorry.. just, confused a bit with everything, I think."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 29, 2009 17:48:55 GMT
"'S'fine." i shrug slightly, shaking my head. I didn't mean to snap.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 29, 2009 17:56:15 GMT
I shook my head faintly, "No, it's okay.." I bit my lip for a moment and shrugged a little bit.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 2:15:25 GMT
I shrug gain in return, not bothering to reply.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 2:19:04 GMT
"... So you're saying that you don't want to be with Travis?" I asked a moment later, after a few more moments of silence. This was still sort of confusing me for some reason. But really, I doubted that she wanted to be questioned about it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 2:24:19 GMT
"Nowhere near as much as I want Logan back." I shrug slightly. Lately I've been wondering if that's correct, but that's probably just my idiocy again, cluttering things up.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 2:27:14 GMT
I nodded faintly, pausing again, "I hope Logan comes back then... Did you say anything to Travis yet?" I asked a moment later before biting my lip for a second, ".. You're sure it's really Travis, right?" For all I knew it was just someone who looked like him.. or someone using Polyjuice potion or something.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 2:31:28 GMT
"Well, that'd be perfect if it isn't." I shrug slightly. "And yes, I told him."
And I don't think Logan's coming back. Why would he?
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 2:51:35 GMT
I nodded faintly, unsure of what else to really say.
I almost asked why she kissed him in the first place though, or whatever she did to cheat on Logan, but I guess I couldn't really blame her.
[[ gah, i didn't see the post]
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 2:54:08 GMT
I wonder if he'll leave now that he's apparently finished questioning me, and I wonder if I'll prefer it that way or not.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 2:56:14 GMT
This felt... awkward. I think that was the right word for it, but I really couldn't be positive. I wanted to say something else, but I didn't know what to say. I know I didn't want to leave, but what else was I supposed to do?
".. Do you even want to talk about it?" I asked a few moments later, asking her in general because if she didn't want to, i wouldn't question her.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 3:07:05 GMT
Hm. That's a good question. "I don't know." I shrug slightly. "To be honest, I don't know if I want you to be here. I don't know if I want you gone. I don't know if I want to go find a plastic bag again or just keep washing the dishes. I'm kind of on autopilot right now, so whatever you want is fine with me. I really don't care."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 3:21:40 GMT
My eyes darted up to her at the words, 'another plastic bag' and I stared at her for a few moments. "Please don't say those kind of things, Arden. If anything is over-reacting.. it's that."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 3:31:24 GMT
I shrug again, sighing faintly. "Don't worry. I'm pretty sure I can't be bothered to do anything that complicated."
Which probably doesn't make a very good case, but it's the truth.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 3:36:43 GMT
"That doesn't really make me feel any better, Arden.." I said, shaking my head a bit. I know it wasn't about me feeling better, but if she wanted me to leav,e that was still the last thing to say to me.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 3:42:05 GMT
"No, I guess it probably wouldn't." I shrug again, half-sighing, and eye the unfinished dishes for a moment before drying off my hands again and moving to sit down at the table.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 3:43:27 GMT
"Are you really that.. depressed about this whole thing?" I asked a moment after she moved an went to sit at the table.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 3:51:14 GMT
I give a disbelieving laugh at that, shaking my head. "No, of course not. I'm really just pretending to be, but I'm not remotely bothered by the fact - " I cut myself off, shaking my head again, and then put my head in my hands while I try to stifle a sob.
I don't care if I'm pathetic. I don't care if it's ridiculous. I really don't care about much of anything.
Now there's an interesting insight. If you're truly apathetic you can't even try and kill yourself. You have to at least care a little in order to do something like that.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 3:58:28 GMT
I frowned a bit more as she put her head in her hands. I wasn't really expecting that reaction... and I was sort of unsure of what I should be doing with myself for a couple moments.
But after a moment, I moved myself and went over to her, pulling up a chair next to her. "... By what?" I asked eventually, and sort of quietly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 4:06:38 GMT
"Just... fuck off a minute," I mutter in reply, not looking up or moving. "I cut myself off for a reason, all right? I don't know how to phrase what comes after that, so thus I didn't say anything. And you really do not have to be here, all right? I'm not exactly very good company right now."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 4:11:49 GMT
I wasn't exactly expecting that reaction, to say the least. "... Sorry." I said eventually, shaking my head a little bit. How I was supposed to know that she didn't even know what to say next? I figured that maybe she just cut herself off cos she wasn't sure if she wanted to say something.
"But fuck, Arden, do you think I care that you're not very good company? Do I ever care?" I asked, standing up again and walking back to where I was standing before. "I'm not leaving." I added a bit more quietly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 4:17:35 GMT
"Dammit, I meant that as an apology," I mutter back. "But ifg you really want to stay here and get snapped at, be my guest."
I think I'd like to have another meltdown and just go cry for a bit, but at the same time I somehow want to prove to him... or myself... or I don't know who... that I'm not falling apart.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 14:12:51 GMT
I didn't really see how that was supposed to be an apology, but I guess if she said it was, it was. "... I just want to make sure you're okay." I said, shaking my head faintly for a moment.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 14:24:18 GMT
"Well, I'm fine, all right?" I shrug slightly.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 14:30:27 GMT
".. Fine.." I said sort of quietly, but decided just to keep standing here anyway.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 14:33:11 GMT
I still don't know if I care whether he's here or not, but I'm leaning toward no because it really doesn't bother me much. But on the other hand, I do have to wonder how long he plans to just stand there.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 14:41:03 GMT
".. I um... I actually ran into Logan the other day." I said looking back over to her, after a few moments of silence.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 30, 2009 14:45:50 GMT
I look up abruptly at that, heart jumping in a sickening way and wondering why in the hell he would think it's a good idea to tell me that.
"Oh?" I say vaguely, then look away again.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Apr 30, 2009 14:50:22 GMT
I bit my lip, ".. sorry." I mumbled sort of quietly after I watched her actions after she heard his name. "He just um.. he told me about what you did.." I said eventually then deciding that sounded sort of odd outloud and maybe I shouldn't've said anything, especially because she's probably going to question me about what I'm talking about. ".. To your hand."
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