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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 15:52:45 GMT
Well, Riley stopped by, thus triggering the irritating thoughts that made me decide to do this to myself.
Ah, there's a good idea. Let's tell Logan it was Riley, however indirectly, who caused this little incident.
But, on the other hand, I make it a point not to lie to him, especially about things like this. So, after a pause, I shrug slightly again. "... Riley stopped by to... apologize or some such nonsense."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 15:58:21 GMT
"To apologise?" I raise an eyebrow slightly. "Why?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 16:01:40 GMT
"I don't know." I shrug. "... For being angry at me, because apparently he has an irrational fear that as soon as he gets mad at someone he loves, they'll die?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 16:14:13 GMT
"Right...so you screw him over and he apologises?" I ask.
I don't know if it's preexisting dislike, but God that's an annoying, ingratiating thing to do. It was also a pretty tactless way to phrase it, but at least I said something.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 16:19:43 GMT
"More or less my response," I mutter, grimacing slightly with the feeling that I've somehow done something wrong. Maybe it's the way he phrased that.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 16:30:30 GMT
"Sorry," I shrug when she grimaces, because apparently that was pretty tactless.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 16:35:04 GMT
"Fine," I shrug, shaking my head. "Like I said, i thought the same thing. I did screw him over." Hence the reason - or half of it - that my finger feels like it's been severed.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 16:44:46 GMT
"Well, not...intentionally." I say after a brief pause, because she probably shouldn't think it's her fault considering her predisposition towards trying to cut her fingers off.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 16:49:40 GMT
"True, but does that really matter terribly much?" I shrug slightly.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 16:54:36 GMT
"Well, it matters a bit." I shrug.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 16:58:10 GMT
"Bit, yes," I agree. "It makes what I did forgivable maybe, but still not really okay."
And I think I'll change the subject now, but I don't know what to.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 17:03:11 GMT
"No, it's not okay." I mutter, mostly under my breath.
She fucked me around too, even if she didn't completely screw me over. But I guess I've fucked her around too, so we're even.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 17:07:38 GMT
I nod, not saying anything in response this time and just looking at the table. I think we're pretty well agreed at this point.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 17:13:18 GMT
For something to do now that she's not said anything and there's silence again, I go and sit down at the table opposite her. I was getting bored of leaning against the counter anyway.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 17:19:48 GMT
I look up briefly and raise my eyebrows at him when he sits down across from me, then go back to looking at the table. The only thing I can think of saying is that my hand hurts like hell, but I don't exactly want to bring that up again. I'd kind of like to ask him what he did today, but I doubt he'll have an answer other than walking. But eventually I shrug and ask anyway.
"So, do anything interesting today?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 17:29:54 GMT
"No...just went for a walk. Like every other day." I shrug at that, looking down at the table myself because that's what she's doing so I might as well.
I don't do anything, nothing happens...because I'm a fugitive and there's not a lot to do when that's the case.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 17:31:26 GMT
"Thought as much," I shrug, then pause. "... Why are you still here?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 17:35:50 GMT
"Hm?" I frown briefly, "What'd you mean?"
That's a fairly abstract question, and I think I know what she means but I want a bit of clarification before I even attempt to answer. It's also a good way to stall.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 20, 2009 17:40:42 GMT
"You're a fugitive, you idiot. Why are you still here?"
Hm. Second thought, not very tactful.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 20, 2009 17:48:21 GMT
I shrug, refocusing my attention on the table. I would have thought, by now, that it was fairly obvious I love her and want to be with her...but then again, apparently it's not.
"Because I want to be here."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 21, 2009 0:55:28 GMT
Oh. Right. Good answer. I work my mouth through a few different replies before finally shrugging. "Well... all right, but... still, why? I mean... what I mean... it's not that I don't want you here. But if that's the only reason you're here... or is it? Fuck, I don't know what I'm saying."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 21, 2009 10:14:18 GMT
"Mm...clearly," I mutter. I don't know what she's saying either, just that it's disjointed and doesn't make a lot of sense.
That probably doesn't suffice as a reply though, so I'm going to attempt a response at the parts of that I can decipher.
"It's mostly the only reason I'm here, yes..." I shrug after a moment, because I'm not sure what else to say anyway.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 21, 2009 14:33:50 GMT
"Hm." I frown slightly, but as I still don't know where I'm going with this, I'm really not sure how to respond. I think I meant to ask if that's really what he wants from life, to just be a fugitive forever. I don't know.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 21, 2009 14:47:01 GMT
"Sorry...that wasn't a very good answer, but you weren't making a whole lot of sense." I shrug, when she doesn't respond because I want to say something rather than nothing.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 21, 2009 14:54:59 GMT
"I know, but... fuck it, I don't know how to make sense. I'm not really certain what I'm trying to say." I shrug slightly. "... Is that really all you want though? Don't you get bored just wandering and coming back here and that's just all there is and all there ever can be?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 21, 2009 15:06:23 GMT
"Of course I do." I pause, then shrug. "But...what else is there?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 21, 2009 15:13:53 GMT
"I don't know... not being here?" I shrug again.
And this is where I better figure out whether I'm trying to suggest that he leave, or if I myself would want to leave England. What in the hell am I thinking, anyway, bringing this up?
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 21, 2009 15:20:17 GMT
"If you want me to leave, I'd rather you just said it."
Otherwise I don't see what she's saying or what the point of this conversation is.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 21, 2009 15:27:14 GMT
"And I certainly will if I ever do want that, but I don't," I say quickly, shaking my head. "Dammit... just ignore me, all right? It was just a random thought and now I don't know where I'm going with it."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 21, 2009 15:32:39 GMT
"...Right." I half-shrug, not knowing how else to respond to that because she seems to be rambling a little bit.
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