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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 14:01:34 GMT
"Sorry," I say softly, dropping my eyes. "Meant to come right back, but went wandering instead."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 14:07:39 GMT
"It's fine," I shrug faintly, because I didn't mean that in a negative way and I was pretty convinced that she was going to change her mind anyway, so there's not much room for irritation or anything alongside the relief.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 14:12:19 GMT
"Well, as long as you trust me then," I say, kissing him softly again despite the nagging sense that maybe that's a wrong choice of words and maybe neither of us really trusts the other, not yet.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 14:20:59 GMT
I laugh very briefly at that, more derisively than anything, because I don't think that's quite the case and maybe trust is the wrong word for it, but then kiss her lightly back anyway.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 14:25:47 GMT
Okay, probably was the wrong word.
I grimace slightly, pulling back from the kiss because oh, I don't know, maybe being laughed at like that has kind of killed the mood.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 14:33:18 GMT
"Sorry..." I shake my head briefly. "That probably wasn't necessary."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 14:36:29 GMT
"Well, maybe not, but... poor choice of words on my part, I suppose?" I ask, grimacing again. "... You don't trust me, do you?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 14:39:56 GMT
"Yeah, poor choice of words..." I agree, then shrug reluctantly. "No...don't think I do. But it's not as if you trust me either, so..."
So at least it's mutual distrust...hm...
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 14:43:28 GMT
"Well...." I wish I could argue with that, say that I do trust him, more or less. But I think the 'more or less' might be the killer there. "Well, that's awful healthy of us," I say instead.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 14:49:42 GMT
"Mm, just a bit."
But there are a lot of things that are pretty unhealthy about this, so I don't know what to add to that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 14:52:19 GMT
I don't say anything for a moment, just thinking, before I finally shrug. "Can I earn your trust back?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 14:58:09 GMT
I have to pause to think about it, because I don't know, because I think I'm always going to be a paranoid and maybe trusting her doesn't have all that much to do with it, and I'm never going to trust him to be comfortable with the fact that she interacts with him, so I don't know.
"I imagine so." I reply, because saying 'no' doesn't seem like a good idea and I don't know if that's the case or not. "Can I get yours?"
I don't know if 'earn back' would be a legitimate phrase in this case, because I'm not sure I had it to begin with.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 15:06:08 GMT
"I think so," I shrug back. "I don't think I distrust you as much as I did, already, so...."
Though there is that little bit of paranoia, or worry, or whatever the hell it is that says how do I know he got tortured? How the hell do I know what went on between him and Shell/Ruby? I prefer to take his word, but how do I know?
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 15:13:39 GMT
"Well that's something, at least." I acknowledge, then fall silent again because there's not much else to say about that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 15:21:18 GMT
You don't know, idiot. That's what trust is.
I shrug again after a moment, agreeing with him.
"We really have messed things up a lot, haven't we?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 15:29:18 GMT
"Yeah...quite an accomplishment considering they weren't that great to begin with." I mutter, shrugging slightly again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 15:33:21 GMT
"Well... there wasn't really anything to begin with," I shrug. "But then it was all right, until I fucked it up."
Or I think I was first anyway, but then again why did I cheat? Actually, now that I think of it... the first thing that went wrong was when he murdered somebody, wasn't it?
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 15:35:58 GMT
"...I think I fucked it up first, actually," I shake my head.
I'm fairly sure I did anyway, and the cheating came after the...murdering and torture, then the suicide attempt.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 15:39:59 GMT
"True, I forgot about that before I spoke," I mutter, then shrug. "Not that it probably matters, anyway, who screwed up first."
I wonder vaguely if it would matter if I really had been the first.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 15:43:58 GMT
Well I'm glad she can forget about it then, because I certainly can't.
"No...doesn't really matter, I guess."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 9, 2009 15:50:10 GMT
"Hm...." I agree, shaking my head. "Either way, we're both stopping, right?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 9, 2009 15:54:45 GMT
"Attempting to, anyway." I nod slightly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 10, 2009 2:24:55 GMT
"True," I agree, shrugging slightly. "And at least you haven't... killed anybody again," I add, frowning slightly, because I've only just realized that that's very odd.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 10, 2009 10:17:34 GMT
I don't know how to respond to that, so I just end up shrugging slightly in agreement.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 11, 2009 13:56:38 GMT
"Well... I think you haven't, anyway," I say when he doesn't respond. "Have you?"
I don't think this is actually distrust because I really don't expect him to say yes he did. It's just an offhand question, just in case I'm wrong.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 12, 2009 18:31:24 GMT
"No...no, I haven't."
I don't think there was any accusation there, so I don't need to be annoyed or defensive in response.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 13, 2009 2:06:38 GMT
"Mm... good then," I shrug after a moment, kissing him briefly. "If a little odd."
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