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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 30, 2009 20:21:35 GMT
I am partaking in particularly absentminded wandering today. It's absentminded because I have no idea where I am and am sort of relying on my subconscious to get me back whenever I decide it's time to go home, but it's also absentminded in a way where there is...nothing. Nothing going on.
I don't know where I'm walking, where I'm going, or even what's on my mind that's forced me so far into autopilot.
Nothing out of the ordinary, I assume. Just the usual repertoire of roundabout not-quite woes and annoyances because I never can focus on anything that might possibly be decent.
Might possibly be decent like Riley dying?
Hm. Maybe. But it is a might because I'm trying not to view it as a good thing.
Ultimately it's not, because when he's dead I'm down one nemesis and I'm not happy unless I have some sort of opposition or rival. Well, I'm not happy anyway, but I'm more content when I have something to view with disdain.
It's not a good thing, more importantly, because it really sucks for Arden and it's not as if I want her to be in pain or anything like that.
It's also going to be irritating and everything is going to go to shit when he actually does die, but she's already forewarned me about that.
So I guess I am thinking after all. Although that was all very distant and didn't really inspire any sort of emotional response. It's just recycled thought. Things I already know and have pondered being dredged up to prove to myself I am not being quite as mindless as I'm being.
I feel like I'm sleep-walking. Especially when I focus back in for a second and it feels like I'm waking up because everything suddenly goes clear. But it's just an anonymous muggle street I'm walking down. It's just nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing and I might as well focus out again and go back to absentminded wandering.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 30, 2009 21:05:40 GMT
I've learned something new this afternoon - that babies can't grow up in airtight, sunless boxes. They need to be taken out to play on a regular basis, or else all the garbage bags must come off the windows. I prefer the former, and so here we are.
Babies are also, apparently, supposed to eat dirt, though exactly how much I'm not certain. Lacey just glanced unconcernedly at what Melody was putting in her mouth, threatened to kill me if she takes her first steps and I don't get a picture, and took off without further instructions. Which is kind of a relief, because it's not as though the kid was on the verge of dying when her mother arrived and set me straight about how to take care of her. I've done all right for nearly a year now... and I think that I'm doing all right now, even if all it involves is eying my daughter somewhat warily while she crawls around the grass and I sit on the steps with a book. And if she tries to eat anything living, I intend to intervene.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 30, 2009 21:21:56 GMT
Focusing out is not quite as easy as it was the first time. It just sort of happened the first time, before I'd even reached the end of the street away from Arden's. Now I'm trying to get back to that pleasant completely spaced out state, I'm trying too hard and thus sort of defeating the object of not focusing, not trying, not being aware.
And when I glance up and see Fitzy, apart from a brief string of curse words that's just...a natural response, I intend to walk right past without bothering him today.
Until it occurs to me that although Riley is dying and oh so inconsiderately taking me one enemy down, it's not as if I don't have any enemies. I don't suppose I see Fitzy enough to count him among my nemesis's, but he's definitely an enemy surely, and that's strangely comforting...in a really weird and entirely abnormal way.
So I decide against walking past and stop instead to greet him with an inordinate amount of derisive cheer, because that's just the sort of inexplicably annoying mood I'm apparently in, "Hey Fitzy. What are you reading?"
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 30, 2009 21:33:36 GMT
Nothing anymore, if that's who I think it is.
I freeze halfway into glancing up again at Melody, quickly debating the merits of grabbing her and shoving her into the house versus just ignoring her presence and hoping he does too. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, of course, but Logan has been nothing but trouble and danger as long as I've known him, and I really do not like him near my daughter or my home.
"Nothing in particular," I shrug, adopting bored politeness. "But what brings you out here? Didn't want to kill anybody too close to home this time? Meeting up with your mistress?"
I can't quite conceal all of the disgust and anger on that last bit, as I haven't had anyone to vent at yet for the fact that although Arden idiotically decided to take him back after they split up, apparently that wasn't good enough for him.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 9:20:31 GMT
I don't think I'm going to really respond to any of that, because I don't like it so I just shake my head briefly. It's not that I don't like it as in it bothers me, just that I don't like it as in it's not particularly interesting.
So I end up glancing in the direction that he was a minute ago and spotting the child. I nod over to her, "So that's Melody then? Looks like her mother."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 14:06:35 GMT
Hm. Typical of him, not to answer. I scowl slightly in irritation, then notice what he's just said instead and raise my eyebrows. I seriously doubt that he knows Lacey... though, then again, she always did enjoy skulking in the same sort of places he would... but even if he does, he seems to be implying more than anything that I'm a fan of incest. She looks much more like my side of things than she does like the Moore's. That's why I didn't argue in the first place when told that she was mine.
But unfortunately, none of that would be particularly witty or interesting to say.
"Hm," I say noncommittally instead, shrugging slightly. I still want to know what the hell he's doing here, and I still - as per usual - want to hurt him. Not as badly as I normally do, but I still wouldn't mind.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 20:49:22 GMT
That was a fairly dull response. I suppose that being as I didn't respond to any of what he said, it's probably acceptable, but still fairly irritating.
That was mostly just an attempt to get him to bite, really, because I can barely even remember what that Moore girl looks like by now so whether or not the kid looks anything like her at all I can't be the judge.
But already, my interest is somewhat waning and I wish he'd given me a better, more substantial response that would have kept me entertained.
"Right..." I reply, rolling my eyes briefly then glance at the house behind him for something to look at.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 20:58:55 GMT
"Mm," I say again, very eloquently. "So, about how long did you think you might stop by here? Did you want to stop for tea, or is there some way I can persuade you to fuck off already?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 21:01:00 GMT
I smirk slightly at that, amused in spite of myself, and then shrug, "Until I get bored I suppose, and I doubt you could persuade me to fuck off although there's no harm in trying."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 21:05:57 GMT
"Theoretically not, although you never know with you." I shrug slightly. It occurs to me that he might get bored more easily if I don't speak to him at all... but I almost have to admit that I'm enjoying this, however microscopically.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 21:11:01 GMT
"Ah...true." I acknowledge, then shrug because there's not much else to say about that.
As usual, I have very little reason for even being here and even less reason for the fact that I'm still standing here, but I'm not going to leave just yet.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 21:14:51 GMT
"Hm," I say again, then narrow my eyes a moment later when I remember that I have a very good reason to not enjoy speaking to him in the slightest.
"Say... you haven't done anything lately that I need to despise you further for, have you? Just to get that out of the way before we continue this pleasant little chat."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 21:18:40 GMT
"Well, I don't know. How recently is lately? I guess you heard about the infidelity." I reply with another shrug to back up the casual nature of the statement.
He must have, unless the 'mistress' comment was just speculation rather than because he actually knows...in which case, whoops. But this is all too civil so far so maybe I want him to snap something at me.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 21:22:08 GMT
"Did hear a little bit about that, yes," I say remarkably civilly considering how much I'd like to hurt him. I'm starting to give up on her, however, and as long as I do that there's no need to get worked up when she gets hurt. Brings it on herself, anyway. "So I suppose that 'recently' would be anytime since then."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 21:27:11 GMT
Well that didn't work. He's being very...annoyingly civil, actually. I guess I'm going to find some way to find him annoying.
"Not really done anything lately then." I shrug.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 21:29:57 GMT
"Well, that's remarkable," I say dryly. "Perhaps not to the point congratulations are in order, but well done nonetheless."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 31, 2009 21:34:55 GMT
"Well, fuck you very much Fitzy." I respond under my breath, glancing out over the street again when I get bored of looking at either him and the house.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Mar 31, 2009 21:38:19 GMT
I don't know why that should amuse me, but I half-laugh anyway, then raise an eyebrow. "Try to watch your language, will you? Teach whatever you like to your own spawn if you ever have them, but it's only polite to use some discretion around other people's children."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 1, 2009 8:51:23 GMT
I give him a strange look then, because I didn't think that was particularly amusing and also I sort of forgot that she was there.
"Well, I can try. No promises though."
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Apr 1, 2009 14:46:12 GMT
"More than I'd expect," I say, tilting my head again.
I'm really fairly certain that I've never in my life tried to be this civil with him. It feels, for the most part, like we're both playing a mind game but neither of us is sure what sort.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 1, 2009 16:35:02 GMT
Fuck this is weird, and I'm at a total loss of what I'm supposed to say now. I'm fairly sure he's playing me somehow and any minute I'm going to get the usual scorn and general distaste that accompanies talking to Fitzy. That's why I bothered anyway, intending to walk away within a few minutes and be safe in the knowledge that even though Riley is dying or dead at least there is still someone to hate.
So I guess if he's just trying to make me uneasy, he's succeeded.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Apr 1, 2009 16:49:08 GMT
And he doesn't reply to that either, so maybe I ought to just ignore him now... and, probably, pay at least a speck of attention to my kid as she seems to be stalking a ladybug. "Mell, don't eat that," I say casually, then glance back at my book.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 1, 2009 16:51:28 GMT
"You're freaking me out." I decide after a moment, shaking my head. "So I'm going to leave you to your book...and child." And hopefully you'll have the decency to be unpleasant the next time I see you.
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Post by Fitzy Patricks on Apr 1, 2009 17:00:21 GMT
"Kind of you," I say, secretly amused by the idea that I'm disturbing him. "But don't be a strnger."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Apr 1, 2009 17:02:37 GMT
"Yeah...right." I mutter after a moment, shaking my head again and then heading past him and away.
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