|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 20:38:45 GMT
"Because I do love her," I mutter irritably, trying to let the fact that she picked that out of my head slide.
I frown then, this time managing not to just flinch away from her like all instinct is telling me to do, "It's not that."
I don't think I ever said or even inferred that she wasn't good enough...in fact, we're probably better suited than a lot of people...but that's still no excuse, just for the sake of it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 20:51:27 GMT
I move my hand away and look down my lap with a sigh again. "Then what does she have that I don't then? She always seemed boring and plain looking to me anyway and not a very good match in personalities to say the least." I add as I avert my eyes back up to him.
He's obviously irritating me now as I stand up and nudge the chair back so I can stand where it was. "Really Logan you rather be with her? We should stick together not you bickering and fighting in hopes of being normal. You said it wasn't possible."
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 20:56:46 GMT
"I'm not having this argument with you." I say under my breath, shaking my head and looking purposefully over her head so I don't have to look at her face.
Because I don't like the point's she just made and can't think of a decent response more than because I don't actually want to argue.
Because I suppose Arden is somewhat plain and we don't match up very well personality wise and it really isn't possible to be normal...so basically, she's right, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 20:59:52 GMT
"Because you know I'm right." I say with a slight incline of my chin as the curls fall around to frame my face. "It won't work Logan. You and Arden and I'm not just saying that to hurt you as we've established I care about you... a lot." I glance up at him before biting my lip. Oh fuck it. I lean up and kiss his lips lightly as my hands make their way around his neck.
I know he's just going to push me away anyway but I can't help it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 21:09:25 GMT
"No, you're not right, actually..." I start to argue, before my brain shorts out and instinct takes over and I decide I can't be bothered to argue and it makes way more sense to just kiss her back.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 21:15:12 GMT
Now this is surprising. One second ago we were bickering about how he and Arden aren't fit for each other even the the extent of loving her and he actually kisses back. I smirk a little against his lips as I move a little closer to him so I was leaning into his chest and ignoring Tom coughing at us as if that would really stop us from kissing. Either way, I'm not going to break the kiss unless I really have to or if he does.
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 21:21:33 GMT
Infidelity. Adultery. Cheater.
My subconscious throws these at me a few times, and then I remember I don't care. Ha, because I am abnormal and immoral and I don't care about things like that.
Who gives a shit if it's infidelity? It feels good and I want to do this and that's all that matters right this second.
So I press my hands to her lower back, pulling her up against me and deepening the kiss.
And why the hell is it easier to be close to her than it is to be close to Arden?
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 21:29:13 GMT
I moan faintly the moment his hands pull my closer to him. So much for being loyal to Arden and loving her. Maybe when he's at home with her they don't partake in this kind of... bonding. I hope the real reason behind this is that he does have feelings for me whether or not he wants to admit it and that he just compressed them so much I can't find them in his mind.
Either way, I don't care and it feels too good to be thinking about all of this right now. Instead, I move my hands into his hair and tug on it a bit. It seems that we are closer than what he thought.
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 21:38:44 GMT
I pull away abruptly after a moment, hastily straightening up and looking at her quizzically for a moment and coming to the conclusion that...maybe I do have a little bit of moral fibre because even I know this is sort of wrong, made more wrong by the fact that it clearly isn't just for the sake of it and that there actually is some feeling there for her.
And I think I need air, I need air so I can clear my head and think clearly again, so I just shake my head faintly at her and move away again so I can instead start pushing my way through the people in the bar and get away.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 21:46:30 GMT
The moment he breaks the kiss I frown instantly and stare up at him. "What's wrong love?" I ask softly, actually sincere for once and it frightens me. I'm never sincere in anything I say or do for that matter and it's just weird.
By the time he shakes his head at me I notice he's leaving quite abruptly and I follow him. "Hey! What's wrong!" I ask again, this time a bit louder so I wouldn't create a major scene as grab his hand once we were outside in the wind and light rain falling down into the streets. "Logan... tell me."
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 21:53:03 GMT
"Nothing's wrong..." I say sharply, although I suppose something is very clearly wrong considering the very abrupt exit.
"I'm just leaving now...I said I would earlier and now I am. I'm going home, and I suggest you do the same. Lovely to see you Ruby."
Come to think of it...what is actually wrong? Besides the fact that it's unnerving, after several weeks of struggling with intimacy to suddenly have it fall into place...but with the wrong person.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 22:04:42 GMT
I'm slightly taken back by this reaction and for some reason I feel... hurt by it. Now I know there's something seriously wrong with me if this is effecting me this much.
"Oh... well. I really don't have a home actually but I guess see you later Logan." I say softly but I look up and it seems something is on his mind. "You know nothing's wrong. You just want what we have to be with Arden... but it won't be love." No matter how hard you try and no matter how hard I try to not believe it I think I love you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 22:12:55 GMT
"Stay the fuck out of my head," I growl, "And stop...stop saying things. We don't have anything. What I do or do not have with Arden is not your business. So stop fucking prying."
It's probably a sign that there is something very deeply wrong with me that I react like this, after realising that I really do feel something for her...enough to kiss her back, at least. Enough to sort of want to do it again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 9, 2009 22:25:22 GMT
"I'm sorry okay? I told you I can't help it! I would prefer to not hear every person's thoughts in the world. Then why are you still here if we have nothing then Logan? Tell me that if you want me to leave you alone." I retaliate back by staring up at him confused as ever now.
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 9, 2009 22:29:37 GMT
This is all getting a bit too dramatic for me.
Somewhat typical of my post-Azkaban life, I suppose, because everything's been a bit more dramatic than I'm used to since then.
"I'm going," I shrug, to my credit actually managing to sound calm...but apparently unable to resist adding the ambiguous statement on the end, "See you around, Ruby."
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 10, 2009 3:43:08 GMT
"Wait... Logan I." I start but my throat has to be dry and tighten right now of all moments. I glance up at his back seeing as he was leaving before managing weakly to say, "I... I love you?" I say slowly at first and almost with uncertainty. I nod my head as I walk towards him, ignoring the fact that we're both soaked now and hug him from behind. I'm really being vulernable right now and open with my emotions and I don't care for once. "I love you. I think I always have when we were partners during the war, but I wouldn't admit it, even to myself. So there I said it. I love you Logan Andrews."
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 10, 2009 8:44:09 GMT
"What's wrong with you?"
This is getting thoroughly ridiculous now, and I keep trying to leave to prevent it from getting more ridiculous and then she just catches up and makes it even worse than before. So a solution would be to stay...or maybe if I actually did just get away.
But, hell, it took me about two decades to realise about/admit that to Arden...and now Ruby's just throwing it at me and it's very disorientating. And also she's barely behaving like herself at all, or maybe she's always been this ridiculous and back during the war I just ignored that side of her nature.
So I quickly shake my head to negate the question, "Nevermind. Look, Ruby, this is all...completely ridiculous, I hope you know that."
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 10, 2009 16:28:45 GMT
"Nothing... it's just. I wouldn't admit to myself years ago seeing as well. We were fighting.. in a war where we could have been killed and I didn't want to have a weakness but it was still there. Remember when the Dark Lord was filtering out who was weak and strong? He almost got rid of me because of you. Also the reason why he kept bothering you with questions or whatever he was doing when he took you to the side. Make sense now?"
I look down at my hands seeing as I let go of the hug. "I know it is, but it's the truth. I wanted to be normal Logan so I told you the truth for once."
|
|
|
|
Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 10, 2009 16:40:51 GMT
"No," I half-snort, half-laugh, sounding probably generally derisive and unpleasant but unable to help it...because it doesn't actually make sense.
Wasn't that the point? The underlying root of the attraction and why we hooked up during the way anyway...because we were both inhuman? Or maybe I missed the point entirely, if she's suddenly bringing up back then and making it relevant to now.
"Just...don't try and be normal, at least not with me, alright?" I say finally, trying not to sound as exasperated as I feel and backing up a step away from her because I am trying to make progress with leaving still.
|
|
|
|
Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 10, 2009 16:48:14 GMT
I glance over at the sound that I heard and it was him trying to leave. I just laugh for a second as I feel my mind saying I just just use the crucio spell on him, but I can't, right? I stop my hand from grabbing my wand and look up at him. "Fine. Leave I don't care. Just leave me alone when you know you can't be normal no matter how hard you try... at least with her." I say softly as I now feel something slide down my cheek. It can't be a tear... it's not possible. I quickly raise my hand and wipe it away before turning around. "Bye Logan." I mumble not caring if he hears.I can't take rejection anymore and now I know how Shell feels... damnit. I hate you Logan Andrews. Soon after this thought I apparate out of here to some place where I can actually be alone.
|
|
