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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 17:41:00 GMT
I'm slightly surprised by the ferocity she's putting into the kiss, but then again I'm not particularly complaining, so I just continue to kiss her back.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 17:51:40 GMT
Dammit, dammit, dammit... not working.
I break the kiss then, eying him slightly troubledly. "I love you, you know,, in case I haven't mentioned that."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 17:55:09 GMT
I frown slightly, because that seems a bit...off, somehow.
"Yes, I know," I shrug, "I love you too. What's wrong?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:06:12 GMT
"Nothing in particular, sorry." I shake my head, hoping that he'll chalk it up to anything else. He can think I plan to kill myself again, think I turned him in... anything at all except that I've been kind of a whore.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 18:09:12 GMT
I eye her suspiciously for a moment, toying with the idea of shrugging it off or not.
I don't think there's anything concrete forming as a theory exactly, but there's apparently something wrong.
So I just don't say anything and wait for her to say something else, because I don't think I will let it drop after all.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:14:33 GMT
I drop my eyes then when he won't stop looking at me like that, trying to figure out if I should confess or not to kissing Riley.
It would make me feel better, but probably hurt him unnecessarily since I'm not going to do it again, and also not go well for Riley, most likely, considering the potential for homicide. So... all in all, I'd say it's not a good idea to confess, and I can't come up with a plausible lie.
"It's nothing really," I say again, kissing him briefly on the edge of the mouth. "It's just been a weird week." There... that makes sense, actually.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 18:18:23 GMT
"Hm," I mutter.
It has been a weird week, I suppose, so maybe I'm just being needlessly paranoid. Maybe it's just a sign of poor mental health to immediately be suspicious when she tells me that she loves me.
I'm fairly sure that there's something I don't know, at least, but maybe it really is just nothing.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:20:50 GMT
"Why, is something wrong?" I ask, tilting my head at him.
Christ, for someone who doesn't like lying I'm certainly a fan of some of its offshoots. Deflection is probably my favorite.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 18:25:42 GMT
I raise an eyebrow, "You tell me."
Cos she's the one who's acting strange...or was, briefly, not me. And I'm just breathing too much into, I'm just paranoid, that's all.
So I shake my head nearly immediately afterwards, vaguely apologetically, "No...just being paranoid. Sorry."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:28:35 GMT
No, just being... perfectly intelligent, really.
"'S'fine," I shake my head, feeling guilty all over again that he's the one apologizing.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 18:32:06 GMT
I nod briefly, glancing at the space behind her shoulder for a moment before actually looking back at her face as if I'm going to see something different there this time.
Unsurprisingly, I don't...but there's still something...well, I guess it's uneasy, in the pit of my stomach like I'm missing something blaringly obvious.
And I don't think I'm going to kiss her again straight away either, not until it feels resolved again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:36:17 GMT
And I guess that killed the mood a little bit, but I don't get off his lap yet because I'm determined to make a point of not... rejecting him in any way. I don't know.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 18:43:31 GMT
"Guess the mood is sort of dead," I note with a forced attempt at good humour, which is bloody hard when I'm still slightly on edge.
I lean my head back against the sofa as I say this, in a show of deliberate ease as if to prove that I'm not still suspicious, which I am anyway but...I don't suppose she needs to know that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:46:33 GMT
"Little bit...." I laugh faintly, slightly nervously. "Sorry. About... being weird, and all." And cheating on you. Definitely sorry about that.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 18:55:48 GMT
"Hm, don't suppose you can help being weird."
I meant that to be sort of teasing rather than exasperated, but it sort of came out as a mix between both of them.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 18:57:36 GMT
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask, not quite managing to be mock-insulted despite striving for normalcy.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 19:01:05 GMT
I half-grin wryly as an answer, shrugging briefly.
Nice and non-verbal. There we go.
I really hate being left in the dark...I hope she knows that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 19:04:08 GMT
"Fine." I shake my head, tone still light. "I don't tell you things, you don't tell me things."
Oh, christ. I really do have another personality in my head truing to sabotage me.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 19:12:17 GMT
I look at her again, shifting a little to sit up slightly straighter but keeping my hands carefully on her waist to make sure I don't dislodge her or anything.
I don't know how to reply to that, actually, because I really don't like knowing what's going wrong and that's really just proof that there definitely is something and I'm not being paranoid.
"What's going on? Really, I mean."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 19:23:46 GMT
I bite my lip at that, glancing down before taking a deep breath and standing up. I never can keep a bloody secret, even if it is for the best.
"I... sort of... have been a bit of a whore," I say finally, flinching as if I expect him to hit me. Which is why I've backed up several feet anyway and won't look at him. Or no... that last part is because I just don't want to see his reaction.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 19:26:21 GMT
I look at her uncomprehendingly for a moment, shaking my head briefly as if I don't understand.
Because I don't think I actually do. 'Arden' and 'whore' don't quite connect up.
And that was very non-specific, so maybe it's not quite completely out of order for me not to understand.
"You've been a bit of a whore...?" I repeat slowly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 19:29:17 GMT
"Just... just a kiss," I clarify, still not looking at him. Which is perfectly bad enough, in my opinion, but I still don't want to give him the wrong idea.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 19:33:50 GMT
My brain is being a little bit slow, and it actually takes a moment to even acknowledge why my jaw has suddenly locked so hard and my hands are now closed into fists.
So I pause, nodding briefly, before asking, "Who with?"
I think that I already know, but I don't want to go and kill the wrong guy, now do I?
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 19:37:45 GMT
"No one in particular," I say quickly, finally glancing at him. "No one you need to go kill, okay? It's my fault."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 19:40:59 GMT
"I won't kill him," I answer calmly, although I think that maybe I will...or at least maim, I'm not sure yet. "It was Riley, wasn't it?"
I don't see who else it would be. If there was another man who was that close to her, I'm fairly sure that I would know about him, so really, Riley is the only option.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 19:46:47 GMT
Somewhat reassured by at least the verbal declaration he won't kill him and hoping that he does follow through on that... I nod. It's kind of obvious anyway.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 19:53:27 GMT
"Great. Thank you."
Hm, that was a bit of a weird thing to say. Especially because it was genuine. It was not a thanks for cheating on me thing, more of a thanks for telling me the name.
I sit still for a moment, deliberating over whether the best course of action would be to attempt to talk this out like a mature and rational individual, or to...go with the most pressing urge.
It doesn't take long for one to win out over the other, and then I stand up and head sort of vaguely towards the front door.
So maybe I won't kill him. I never said that I wouldn't hurt him.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 19:56:49 GMT
I don't think I need to respond to that, especially as I don't know if it was genuine or sarcastic.
But then he gets up and I turn around quickly, a little alarmed. Not that I can blame him for not wanting to be here, but I don't think an an-and-off psychopath should be allowed to wander around when he's angry.
"Logan, where are you going?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Jan 17, 2009 20:01:14 GMT
I pause, frowning briefly because I would have thought that was really quite obvious, glancing back at her as if she's a bit on the slow side.
Then promptly stopping, because no...paying him a visit would probably be a bad idea. And I reckon if I did something bad to him, she probably would turn me in this time. Or try to kill herself again.
"Do you love him?" I ask, turning back round to face her again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 20:04:49 GMT
"Not... not like that, not like you." I shake my head, kind of wishing I could smash it against the wall again instead. Or maybe I've killed too many braincells doing that and that's the problem. "It's just a stupid crush and I was an idiot, a stupid fickle whore."
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