wrong (shelby)

[Logan Andrews]

There's something wrong.
That's been popping into my head on and off for a while now.
It's the middle of the night and I'm out walking around in Knockturn Alley...that's a little bit wrong, probably an indicator that something is wrong, but it's not what's actually wrong.
But I suppose it's not technically the middle of the night, not anymore.

It was the middle of the night when I woke up and knew that something was wrong.
I tried to sleep for about ten minutes before I realised it was useless. There's something very wrong with me tonight.
And of course, at the time it made perfect sense to me at the time to rapidly leave the house and end up here, in Knockturn Alley, because of it's calming effect, because of how at home I feel here, because here I know who I am.
I don't necessarily like who I am, but at least I know who it is. As opposed to the total stranger who's been governing my thoughts and actions for the past however long.

I guess it's been weeks since I've been out of Azkaban, it must be at least by now.
It's like when I left there was that complete clarity, the real deal, sanity and all. Over the time I've been away from the dementors it's started to grow a little bit fuzzy again, blurry around the edges and out of focus and instead of colour now I'm getting splodgy greys and blacks and whites.
That wall between the part of my head that deals very well with simple purposes and cold logic and enjoys the way people bleed and the part of my head that is actually vaguely normal started to spring up again and it's been creeping higher and higher.
I only have to think the word 'bleed' nonchalantly like in that sentence to get that itch now. I miss the way it feels to have blood on my hands, I miss the power, I miss having complete control like that.
And that is what is wrong.

Because I shouldn't miss that at all.
But I don't even know who I was kidding. People like me don't just reform like that. I've been set in my ways for far too long, it's all buried to deep, woven right into exactly who and what I am.
I don't care if my son is lost, I really don't. I hated my son, I knocked him around like he was a punch bag, and I never cared before and I don't now. I don't care if my brother is alive, because I'm not even sure I cared if he was dead.
And I don't think I even care about Arden right now. Well...I do, actually, I don't think that's ever going to change and I hate that. But she's always been my weakness, first as a silly little tagalong who wasn't scared away by our behaviour as kids, then as my silly little blood traitor weakness who I should have killed long ago and had done with it.

And I am wrong.
I'm wrong about everything, whatever or whoever I decide to be it's going to be wrong. All wrong, wrong, wrong.
There's something very wrong though, because I don't care anymore.
No, I don't. That's why I'm stumbling around Knockturn Alley in the dark, half-searching for prey and half-searching for a solution because I want to be sane, I want to be normal, I want to be better...please, please, please...please, let me find someone to hurt...please, let me find something that's going to cure me.
And that is all wrong too, because I don't even know where I stand or what I want.
There's something wrong.

[Shelby Crescent]

I really shouldn't be here. Really I shouldn't. It's just so odd that I always end up at Knockturn Alley whenever something in my life has gone wrong. Jack finally admitted that he loved me more than Bella but something about him, I still can't trust him for some reason. Maybe I'm meant to be alone afterall.
That's not depressing one bit is it?

Walking around in my faded red cloak, I glance up at a few store signs that were still visible on the alley before noticing someone walking down the alley as well. He seems to be distracted, as if he was looking for something to do and there was no one 'to do' something on. I knew that expression well. The wanting to cause harm, the wanting to cause pain. I've had that feeling run through my mind and veins but that was years ago if I wanted revenge on something that had happened to me. Now I just move on and try to ignore it, but tonight I was not going to be his victim.

I walk softly over to a corner before glancing around, but he had disappeared. I start to panick slightly, wondering if he heard me and now I am his victim or I'm just becoming extrememly paranoid. Who couldn't feel paranoid here at this hour of the day, especially with no one there besides just the two of you. I let out a sigh before gasping slightly covering my mouth.
"Get a hold of yourself Shelby. There's no one here, just you and your paranoid self. Just calm down. No one is out to get you."

[Logan Andrews]

I think that maybe if I had been left to my own devices and just wandered around the street on my own in the dark, in a few hours time I would have been able to calm down.
I'm sure I could force myself to feel better, couldn't I? I could just go back to Arden's, get some sleep, put this weird panicky need for sadism out of my mind and get over it.
But the fates seem to have other plans, because I'm not being left to my own devices...because I'm not on my own.

I first see her when I happen to glance up and she happens to pass briefly into a small patch of light. It's probably that red cloak that does it, brings my attention right to her so I can't miss her.
And I can't ignore her.
No, because if little red riding hood chooses to wander around Knockturn Alley, alone, at night...then she's obviously asking for it. She's practically inviting it.

I slip into a small side alley, heading round the back of a building to be able to re-enter the same street again up ahead of her.
I don't know at what point my wand ends up in my hand, but I only realise it's there when my grip tightens gently around the handle.
And then I contemplate just carrying on, leaving, not bothering to play with her and just letting some other psychopath take care of her if they so desire...but then I hear her sigh and I can't just...no, it's far too late to walk away now.

I've already gone round in enough circles like this, so by the time I actually do approach her properly and catch a real glimpse of her face...I'm not even that surprised that I know her. Just my luck.
I don't think it's going to stop me now though. I've been holding off too long, I've got very little self-control left anymore.
"Rubalyn," I say pleasantly, with a smile that almost borders on friendly...or it would, if I was any good at smiling, "Fancy meeting you here."

[Shelby Crescent]

I gasp slightly turning around now seeing who was on the street afterall. "I told you time and time again. My name's Shelby. Not Rubalyn." I mutter. For some reason, I'm not scared of him, even if his wand is drawn to his side. He has changed, or so I think he has. Otherwise, he wouldn't been able to stay of out Azkaban this long without torturing or killing someone.

"What are you doing out this late? Isn't Arden going to worry about where you disappeared to?" I ask before pulling my cloak around my a little bit more, due to the pick up with wind sweeping through the alley now. I don't understand why, but my blue eyes can't break from his, as if I glanced away I would turn into stone right on the spot.

[Logan Andrews]

"And I'm going to persistently call you Rubalyn," I say lightly, "Aggravating, isn't it? When you can't get people to do what you want, I mean."
Because it's all about control, after all. Or maybe it's just all about control for me? I think that's a large part of my fascination with sadism, the all-consuming need to possess, to over power.
And of course, I've had far too much time with a reasonably clear head if I've even started to analyse myself.

"Insomnia," I explain, idly tapping my wand against my side because I can't keep still. Too fidgety, I've been holding off too long...I'm literally itching to lay about her...I don't know how long I can keep up this lovely little spell of banter.
But then I frown faintly as she mentions Arden, shrugging slightly to show how little I care about whether she'll worry or not. There's no need to go dragging my silly little weakness into this.
"What about you, Rubalyn?" I roll her name around as I say it, putting more emphasis on it than necessary, "Can't sleep?"

[Shelby Crescent]

"Oh just a little. I can't help the fact that you're being so immature about calling me Rubalyn." I say, shrugging my shoulders just as carelessly as he did about Arden. It's obvious that she's his weakness, obvious to practically everyone who knows them in fact.

"Actually no I can't. A lot on my mind with home, new job, life in general." I frown, trying to ignore how he's saying my name as if it would bother me. Of course, it does and makes my fists instantly clench into balls of fists. "If you're just going to patronize me I'm leaving." I mutter before pulling the hood of my cloak up and crossing my arms, but I make no effort to stay for some reason no matter how much my mind is yelling at me to run.`

[Logan Andrews]

I smile, nodding my head gratuitously to acknowledge this.
I am quite immature, really. Very childish indeed, in fact. That's never really bothered me at all. Well, maybe a little bit post-Azkaban, but now I feel like me again so everything's alright. Everything is just fine now.
I nod seriously as if I understand, which I sort of do. I know what it's like to have a lot on my mind, but I can't really identify with any of her idle little woes. My life has always been made up of very simple aspects...it's just the thought processes that surround them that make everything complicated.
"Oh don't leave, Ruby," I shake my head as if it would genuinely pain me if she walked away, "Can't you stay out and play?"
I'm fidgeting with my wand more now, tapping it harder against my side and clenching and unclenching my fist around it.

[Shelby Crescent]

I glance up at him before raising an eyebrow at him. "Like you would really care if I..." I trail off before biting my lip. "Play? What torture or something else..." I mumble already trying to be discreet in trying to remember where I placed my wand in this stupid cloak. Shifted my cloak a bit I manage to grab the handle part of it as if that will really protect me right now.
I take a couple steps back so I'm now out of the light as I keep eye contact with him. "Leave me be Logan. Go home."

[Logan Andrews]

"Now, now," I chide, waving my wand at her briefly as if I'm scolding her, "You're in no position to be giving me orders, Rubalyn."
I advance after her a few steps as she backs out of the light, flicking my eyes briefly down to the slight movement in her cloak where she's probably gone for her wand and then back to her face, frowning disapprovingly.
"Don't be silly either. Now where do you think we should start? Personally, I'm in the mood for something messy...don't you just love the smell of blood? It's been a while since I've been able to get my hands dirty, Ruby, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little rusty."
I'm rambling now. I always get strangely talkative at this point. I can't help it.
I half want her to fight back, that might be more entertaining, but I'm also not going to let her make the first move.
"Crucio," I murmur it more than anything, flicking my wand in her direction. It's always a nice way to start off.

[Shelby Crescent]

I glance up at him, taking a few more steps back before hearing what he had in store. "Not my own personally thanks..." I mumble finally taking out her wand and pointing it at his direction. About to mouth crucio myself, I fall to the ground but still manage to hold onto my wand. I won't scream or cry. That will just give him the pleasure that he wants. I refuse to give him that. I won't. Instead, I bite my lip hard nearly breaking the skin on the right side already.

[Logan Andrews]

Hm, not quite as satisfying as I'd hoped because she's not making a sound.
I frown, tilting my head to one side as I watch her in a sort of vaguely curiously way, then circle round to her side and crouch beside her.
"High pain threshold?" I guess casually, reaching down to pry her wand out of her hand. Just in case.
"I'm sure we can break it down," I nod confidently, touching my wand lightly to her temple, and saying in a cheery way, "Crucio."

[Shelby Crescent]

Now that hurt. I wimper loudly, feeling the pain shoot through my head all the way down to my feet. "Bastard. Leave me alone!" I yell before glancing over to him before closing my eyes tight.

[Logan Andrews]

"And where on earth would be the fun in that?" I tut softly, shaking my head.
That was more fun, much more amusing.
I straighten up now, because it just accentuates the fact that she's on the floor, whimpering in pain and unarmed, and I am standing up and tall and have complete control of the situation.
"Sectumsempra," I sigh the curse this time, as if I'm already getting bored which I sort of was with the cruciatus curse, and I do like blood after all so it's also a sigh of impatience because I can't wait to get to it.

[Shelby Crescent]

I finally scream unwillingly, feeling blood seep through my cloak and random parts of my face. "L-logan.. s-stop.. please." I whisper still keep my fists clenched together before screaming again due to how much pain I'm now in because of him. If I get out of this alive, I won't lay a finger on him. I'll tell Azkaban instead about their escapee's whereabouts. That would be more satisfying.

[Logan Andrews]

I nod satisfiedly as she screams, allowing a brief smile to confirm my victory, then proceed to watch for a few moments as she starts to bleed. I walk round her, as if to survey the damage from another angle and twitch a small grimace because I'm not sure there's quite enough yet.
Crouching back down beside her, I touch my hand briefly to one of the cuts on her face where the bleeding is thickest.
I've thought about this feeling for so long. The warm, thin flow of blood where it's not yet started to congeal; fresh, painful bleeding.
"Now what to do to poor Rubalyn? Let her live? No, no, she might go telling tales and we can't have that, can we? But we don't really want to kill her...no, no."
I don't know why I'm referring to myself as 'we' now or even how or why my pronouns tend to get muddled up when I'm murmuring to myself. Of course I'm talking to her too, pausing every now and again to give her time to interrupt.
I trace my wand across her throat lightly, back and forth for a moment, then press harder to outline a potential slit from one side to the other, frowning at her contemplatively.
"But we can't have her telling tales on me, can we? Maybe we should go after one of her babies...that might make Ruby be quiet...if we let her live that is."

[Shelby Crescent]

Bastard. You're just a lonely sick bastard who can only torture people to make himself feel better.
I glare at him faintly once he touches my face, almost an expression that I'm disgusted that he even leaned down and felt he had permission to touch my wounded face, smearing the blood onto his hands. My blood.

My eyes widen once he threatened my kids. "D-don't you dare touch them. I-I'll do anything..." I mumble, before feeling the tears fall from my eyes as I continue to stare up at him.

[Logan Andrews]

"We could go after the smallest one..." I continue under my breath, tapping my wand against her jugular, "Get the smallest one and break it's fingers. Yes. Break it's fingers, then it's toes, it's arms and legs and all it's ribs. Crush it's skull and peel back the skin to see what it looks like underneath..."
I shake my head after a moment, looking down at her suspiciously and adding sharply, "But of course, we wouldn't do that. No. As long as Rubalyn promises not to go telling tales."
Then I shake my head again, rapidly switching back to a softer tone of voice, "Or maybe we'll just kill her now and save ourselves the trouble. What do you think?"
I touch one of the cuts on her face again, but the blood isn't as warm anymore and is starting to congeal so I guess I was talking for longer than I was aware. I roll my eyes at her as if it's all her fault then carefully remove my wand from the proximity of her neck because I don't want to kill her by accident, murmuring again with renewed vigour, "Sectumsempra."

[Shelby Crescent]

"I said leave them out of it..." I repeat to her before shaking my head at him when he mentions killing me instead. "I think you're a bastard. Th-that's what I think." I murmur before I scream again, feeling a fresh stream of tears falling down my injured face, almost curling up into a ball unwillingly due to the sharp pain running through my body.

[Logan Andrews]

"That's really not very original," I say sadly, "I would have thought you could come up with a lot better than that."
I rock backwards onto my heels to observe her from another different angle, as if this really is the most fascinating thing ever and I've never seen anything quite like it before...but of course, I have.
"I have an idea, seeing as you're being so uncooperative. We could sit around and wait and see how long it takes you to bleed out," I suggest, wiping my bloody hand on my jeans and then in turn smearing a small splatter of blood off my wand. "Or we could play with fire. How'd you feel about fire? Singe a bit of flesh here, open a little wound here...the human body really is an incredible thing. How much it can take...how much is too much...don't you think?"

[Shelby Crescent]

"Let me go... please, Logan. Stop." I mumble, glancing up at him before managing somehow to turn over onto my back. I'm sure there's a few broken bones already so why not damage them more? I look up at the sky as tears still fall from my red puffy eyes just staring up at the few stars that were escaping the reach of the overcast sky. As I take short breaths I look over at him with a deep frown on my face not answering his question one bit.

[Logan Andrews]

"You really are no fun," I say incredulously, shaking my head.
I could have picked a better victim, I think. I don't know...someone who'd scream, or hurl insults out, or fight back. It's somehow not right or even that amusing when she's just lying there like that.
I sigh, getting back to my feet and shrugging, brandishing my wand at her, "Go on then. Up and off you go. I'm bored with you anyway."

[Shelby Crescent]

I glance over at him and roll my eyes. "What should I apologize for you torturing me and I don't scream, yell or anything else? I would love to get up and move but seeing as my right leg is broken, I can't really move." I mutter before glaring at him. "I can't wait to hear what Arden has to say about this. She wouldn't want you anymore after tonight."
It's like I'm practically begging for it now. For him to end it right now. And of course I'm stupid for saying this cause now I'm poking fun at my torturer. Great...That's just great.

[Logan Andrews]

"Well, yes, an apology would be nice," I agree with a slight frown, before frowning further at what she says last. "Arden doesn't need to know about this now does she Ruby? I thought we'd been over what would happen if you told tales."

[Shelby Crescent]

"Why not? She deserves to know the truth doesn't she? You wouldn't want your girlfriend to know about your bad deeds huh? That's not how a relationship works Logan. But if you help me to Fitzy's place then I'll keep my mouth shut." I say before glancing over at him before coughing slightly. This really isn't good, coughing, broken bones... I've been this weak before and I was a hair from dying. "Make your choice quick I haven't got all day."

[Logan Andrews]

I narrow my eyes for a moment, tilting my head back as I think about it, and then I shake my head.
"Okay, my choice. I think I'm going to go with leaving you here to bleed out on your own in the dark, and then we'll see what happens from there."

[Shelby Crescent]

"Logan. I'll find a way back home. You'd be better off you just took my offer. We both know how Azkaban is afterall." I say before looking back up at the stars. I wish someone would walk past here somehow, catch a glimpse of what was happening and report it. I know it wasn't going to happen but I could still hope.

[Logan Andrews]

I pause, visibly torn for a moment.
Oh God...I think I'm starting to think clearly again. Reasoning power is apparently coming back.
"Fine," I mutter grudgingly after a moment, "But if you say one word I will skin your children alive, clear?"

[Shelby Crescent]

I nod faintly before looking back over to him. "And if you don't keep your word I'll kill you on the spot." I say sternly, actually in a strong tone which actually surprised me. "Now please take me to Fitzy's place? Maybe you should heal me some so he doesn't suspect anything."

[Logan Andrews]

"Deal," I mutter, sounding thoroughly unamused.
I'm not that strong a healer, to be honest. I've never been all that great at it, but I suppose she's right and I should probably do a bit and I'm not letting her heal herself either. Not arming her.
So I stoop again, making to help her up first so I can heal her easier. Plus it's weird to try when she's on the floor like that.
Yes...I feel quite sane again. I don't know what just happened there...but I think reasoning like this was beyond me a few seconds ago.

[Shelby Crescent]

I glance back up at him before taking his hands, already whimpering in pain as I try to hold myself up on the left leg instead of the right. If I did, I'd probably be on the floor again. Looking back up at him, I frown a bit before dropping my head down to look at our feet. I can't even hold my head up right now... that's always comforting. As my blonde and red stained curls fall around my shoulder I bite my lip, waiting for him to heal me. Somehow I find this funny, the guy who tortured me less than five minutes ago was now healing my wounds.