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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 13, 2008 15:37:46 GMT
Nothing ever goes right, does it? I stood there, leaning against the side of a building, holding a half empty bottle of firewhiskey and swirling the rest of the contents around in circles in the glass container that trapped it from falling freely. Last time I'd seen my family, well Riley and Justin was a little over a week ago before I up and left when I told Riley I'd be there when he woke up, and the twins, well that had to have been at least two weeks ago, maybe slightly longer than that. And now I made it so I can't even go back? Well, possibly can't go back. I wasn't sure if Riley had found another place to stay, or was waiting for me to come back beforehand, and if that was the case I couldn't risk going back to see if they were still there. They'd all be better off without me.
Though I've got to go back at some point, to make sure they weren't there, and who knew what then.
Sighing softly I took a small sip of the firewhiskey before swirling it around and against the glass. Shelby was right, forever never lasts, not really at least. I still loved Riley, that was true, just I always messed something up, I doubt he could really stand me anymore. It just won't work.
So what do I do? I went and left again, though I could always say it was the mark. Though that would be another lie of mine, another secret from Riley, and I'm sure he'd be able to see through that one. Sure.
I was starting to feel sick though, and mostly sick of the firewhiskey. So in turn I through it against the wall of another store across the alley I was sitting in and watched as the glass shattered and the firewhiskey dripped down the wall and splattered outwards from the impact.
Maybe I shouldn't be doing this in Hogsmeade.
[[Short.. lol]]
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 13, 2008 17:20:21 GMT
I dropped off the girls and Justin with my parents. I just didn't feel like watching after them today. It'd been nearly two weeks now since Riyann left and honestly, I thought she would've came back by now. But she hadn't. I didn't know what to think about it. I mean, was she okay? Or did something happen, and that's why she didn't come back yet?
Worrying was all that I seemed to be doing lately and with my jobs and taking care of the kids, I really hadn't been getting a lot of sleep. I was worn down and I didn't even know if I should've moved out of where we'd been staying. Maybe we should've.. but I didn't move. I wanted to know where Riyann was and if we stayed there, then well, she'd have to come back eventually.. right?
I sighed as I walked down the main road in Hogsmeade just thinking. I honestly didn't know how I was feeling about Riyann right now. I thought that I loved her, but maybe this relationship just wasn't working. Maybe we should just split up and make this all the more easier for both of us. I didn't know.
As I walked, I occassionally looked down alley ways just out of habit. Just walking and looking and thinking. That's when I heard glass shatter against a wall and jumped slightly looking over to where it came from.
That's when I saw her. She was sitting in an empty alley, just staring at the wall infront of her. I stopped walking and stared at her, trying to decide what to do. What was I going to say to her? I wasn't sure if I even had anything to say. She obviously had been drinking and well... should she really be sitting in an empty alley? Probably not.
So I stopped just staring at her and walked toward her sort of slowly. ".. Riaynn.." I said quietly, watching her closely as she sat there.
[[ nah, haha it was good ]]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 14, 2008 16:52:37 GMT
I heared the footsteps before I even heard a voice and I could only gather that the attention had been directed towards me because of the bottle I'd just smashed on the wall of the other building, but I tried to block it out, maybe pretend the person wasn't there, until I put the voice of the person to Riley and I let a small sigh pass my lips. Of course, with my luck he'd find me. But only with my luck.
Sad thing was that I still loved him more than anything, and here I was again trying to make it better for him when I wasn't, but too bad. I could at least try and just make it all worse yet again.
Suddenly I wanted the firewhiskey back in my hands, but it was too late for that now because it was still running down the side of the building into a small puddle at the bottom of it. "Hey." I slurred slightly, shutting my eyes lightly, not even sure how many firewhiskey's I'd had so far, just probably one too many or so.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 14, 2008 17:00:28 GMT
She didn't look over to me when I called out her name, but stared at the same wall she was staring at before. I glanced over to it for a moment, watching, what I assumed was firewhiskey, drip down the wall into a small puddle on the ground, which was now covered with shards of broken glass. Luckily she threw it at the wall before I could say something stupid and have her throw it at me. Lucky me.
She didn't leave. That was one good sign. Etiehr that, or she wanted to leave, but coudln't becuase she was too drunk to really care. Or maybe too drunk to get up and walk away?
"Hi.." I said quietly back to her, frowning slightly as I walked closer to her and sat down on the ground next to where she was sitting.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 15, 2008 17:04:53 GMT
I heard him sit down next to me and I figured out that it was really only my thinking process that was normal and the rest of me was just sort of falling apart since all the firewhiskey I'd consumed. So really I'm only going to make a fool of myself.
I smiled softly to the wall and started swaying slightly, knowing that wasn't going to help my head any time soon.
"Missed you." I mumbled softly, shutting my eyes slightly. I didn't want to say that. Just would've rathered to have kept that to myself.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 15, 2008 22:00:10 GMT
I watched her smile softly to the wall after I spoke, seeing her sway against it a little bit as she sat there.
'Missed you." I heard her say, causing me to shift my eyes to the ground for a moment. Missed me? It sure didn't seem like she missed me. She'd been gone for longer than she needed to be in my opinion and the way she just left last night.. I didn't know. But I didn know that she probably wouldn't be saying it right now if it wasn't true. I mean, she was obviously drunk.. and well, usually, if you're drunk you tell the truth. It's just how it goes.
Did I even miss her? Sure, I've been worried and I wanted to know if she was okay.. but in all honesty, I just didn't feel like saying that back to her right now. Which just added to the guilt and horrible feeling I already had about us. I should miss her and I wanted to. In some ways I definately think that I did though.
I still loved her. I don't think that I would ever actually stop loving her. I just.. I don't know what to do. Maybe we needed a break.. not actually spliting up right now.. just some space from each other. Kind of funny though considering space is all we seem to get with eachother. So that doesn't really make much sense does it.
"I've been worried about you.." I told her quietly, watching her sitting there with her eyes still shut instead of open and looking at me. As I spoke, I reached a hand up and pushed some hair that had flopped into her face behind her ear and then I waited for her reply.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 14:19:36 GMT
I heard him say that he was worried about me and nodded faintly. Doesn't mean he missed you. Feeling his hand move up and push some hair behind my ear I tried thinking about what to say back, which nothing was coming, because really, I didn't know what to say. He was only worried about me, he didn't miss me.
I moved away from him slightly and leaned up against the wall a little more, staring at the wall across from me instead of keeping my eyes shut. I could be drunk and figure that out, I think anyone could be drunk and have already figured that out.
//Can't think\\
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 14:26:15 GMT
I'm sure I missed her at least some. I didn't miss the fighting though, the fighting I could do without. I mean, worrying is kind of part of missing somone? Maybe a little bit?
And if she missed me, she could've come back, couldn't've she?
She moved slightly away from me, now starting to stare at the wall infront of her instead. I moved my hand away from her, waiting for her to say something but when nothing came, I wasn't sure what to say.
".. Is there a reason you're drunk in an alley?" I asked her quietly and softly after a couple moments with a small sigh.
[ eh, that's alright.. i can't really either ]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 14:33:19 GMT
I shouldn't be drunk right now because of this conversation, but I was, because I was stupid, and because I couldn't wait until tomorrow to get drunk. I'd much rather be sober. But then you wouldn't have known that Riley didn't really miss you all that much, he was just worried that you'd gone and killed yourself or someone had done you the favor.
I shook my head slightly before leaning back a little against the wall again, shutting my eyes tight, feeling dizzy now. I didn't dare try and speak now because it was all just going to come out wrong or something.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 14:39:00 GMT
Honestly, I almost think that I was too upset and confused to really be anything else. Maybe that was a reason it didn't really feel like I missed her. Did that even make sense? I just still couldn't figure it out and I really wanted to. I really wanted to miss her.
She shook her head and I let out a small breath to myself. She didn't say anything and well, I didn't know what to else to say, or ask. I could understand that she was drunk, but I still wanted to talk to her.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 14:45:04 GMT
"I'm alright, you can just." As I spoke my voice started dropping in volume until it had cut off the rest of the sentence and I brought a hand lightly to my head. "Just, just. You can just leave." The same thing happened, but I managed to finish my sentence this time. He probably wouldn't though. Because I was drunk, in an alleyway, and would be all alone if he did leave. He was probably going to stay because he was so worried about me going and offing myself.
I just wanted another firewhiskey, even if I'd just wasted the last half a bottle I had left, I still wanted another just so I could have something to do with myself.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 14:48:22 GMT
I shook my head. No way was I leaving. Even if she was sober, I don't think I would leave right now. "I'm not going anywhere," I started to tell her quietly, shaking my head a little bit. "unless you're coming with me." The last thing I did want to do though, was leave her drunk in an alleyway.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 14:56:24 GMT
I made the attempt to push myself up from the ground into a standing position to say, that, no I wasn't going with him, but I'd leave if he wouldn't. Only it didn't work all that well because I just fell back down to the ground with a faint groan, putting both hands on my face that was a feverish hot feeling, while my hands were ice cold.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 14:59:55 GMT
I sighed slightly as she tried to push herself off the ground, hearing her let out a faint groan when she fell back to the ground. She put her head in her hands and I frowned slightly to her. "Riyann, why do you keep pushing yourself away from me?" I asked her, knowing it probably wasn't the best time to ask, but I was curious and it just happend to come out as I looked at her and watched her actions.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 15:09:13 GMT
"You don't." I started and shook my head slightly to clear it as I looked at him but it didn't help, just made me shut my eyes for a moment and start to sway to the side and I opened my eyes again. "Y-you don't love me anymore." I mumumbled, still looking at him, feeling myself fall backwards slightly and I covered that up by just leaning against the wall. "A-a-alls we do is fight." I slurred slightly, shutting my eyes this time and taking in a small breath.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 15:15:08 GMT
I shook my head at what she was saying. Watching as she swayed and nearly fell over, leaning against the wall instead so she didn't. True, we did fight a lot, but that did not mean I didn't love her.
"Riyann, I love you. Yeah, we fight a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't love you." I told her shaking my head a little bit, frowning to her as she sat there with her eyes closed.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 15:23:20 GMT
This would be so much easier to talk about, or fight about, if I wasn't so drunk, but I was so I didn't really have it in me to say as much as I wanted to, or fight like I knew we would if I wasn't.
Maybe that's why he brought it up now, so that we couldn't fight and I couldn't really find something to say that would make us fall even farther apart. "Yo-you don't." I said, moving again to stand up, this time getting slightly closer, but then falling back over. And by slightly closer I mean that I had gotten maybe a few inches from the ground. My eyes were open again and this time I moved forward so that I was on my knees, hands pressed flat against the ground as I threw up.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 15:30:33 GMT
I shook my head again, "Yes I do." I told her, watching as she kept on trying to get up and then not be able to. She moved onto her knees now and before I knew it she threw up onto the ground. I cringed slightly, but moved slightly closer to her, gathering some of her hair and moving it out of face.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 15:39:36 GMT
I didn't say anything this time when he said that he did, once again, instead I had been trying to focus on getting up and away.
If I hadn't been in the middle of a not very good drunken moment plus throwing up, I'm sure I would've pulled away from Riley as he pulled a bit of my hair out of my face. Then there was the fact that I was trying to figure out if I was going to throw up again or not. Hopefully it would be the latter of the two and I could pull away from him, though that would only result in me falling over and just laying in the alley for the rest of the night. Of course I could always go for another firewhiskey, I just wouldn't be able to get it with Riley around because he's been so 'worried' about me.
After making sure I wasn't going to throw up again I moved a little and just fell over onto my side and layed there, feeling my hair being pulled slightly as I had, though I was sure Riley hadn't tried to actually do so.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 15:46:22 GMT
She fell over and I sighed slightly, not being able to catch her and accidently tugging some of her hair a bit when she did. I hadn't meant to do that, I just wasn't able to let go in time. Now what was I supposed to do?
Actually, considering we were in Hogsmeade and not Diagon Alley or somewhere. It was atually probably be somewhat safe to just leave her here. But I couldn't believe I actually thought that once I did and I stood up a few seconds later with a slight sigh. I walked over to her and picked her up off the ground, so I could move her somehwere that wasn't the ground next to puke and broken glass.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 16:00:47 GMT
I shut my eyes lightly, liking the feeling of the cold ground against my cheek and just layed there on my side, doubting Riley would let me stay there, but I desperately wanted to.
Barely had I heard him get up and move, I was too focused on listening to my breathing and trying to sleep, which really should've been easy, but it just wasn't, that and I could smell the firewhiskey and the puke, which didn't smell all that great to begin with, and now the smells mixed. Then I felt myself being lifted from the ground, the slight breeze burning against my cheek where the ground had been pressed against and I groaned slightly, moving a little to look at who picked me up. It should have been obvious, but I couldn't really think at the moment and I groaned again when I saw Riley, and made the attempt, a very weak attempt, to get out of his arms.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 16:15:06 GMT
She made a weak attempt to get out of my arms and when I felt her do that, I tightened my grip on her a bit more. I wasn't going to let her go and she should know that. Which means she should just make this easy and stay still.
I started walking down the alley as I held her and then made my way to the closest place I could think of that would let us in. That place just happend to be Hogwarts.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 16:21:26 GMT
"Let me go Riley." I mumbled slightly after he'd tightened his hold on me and I shut my eyes slightly tight now, wanting the world to stop moving, wondering if he knew that he really was not helping at the moment. Sighing softly I made another very weak attempt to get free but after that I stopped and kept my eyes shut. I didn't know where he was taking me and I didn't want to open my eyes to find out.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 16:33:31 GMT
I shook my head, "No Riyann.." I told her quietly as I kept walking. Eventually she stopped struggling and I continued walking. After a few minutes I arrived at Hogwarts with Riyann and walked into the castle and up to the Room of Requirement.
I opened the door and walked inside setting her on a couch that appeared and sitting myself in another chair that was there too.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 16:37:29 GMT
Eventually I ended up falling asleep while he was still carrying me, deciding to not pay attention to anything so that I could at least do that. Really I was the one that was always being difficult, you'd think that Riley would be the one getting the idea that I didn't love him, yet I was still saying he didn't love me. I hope he didn't ever get the feeling that I didn't love him, because I'm not sure what I'd do then.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 16:55:26 GMT
I watched her sleep after I set her down. I was still wondering why she didn't think that I loved her. I wanted an explantion. And I was pretty positive that I wasn't going to get one. But I knew that I couldn't get one even if she would say why right now, so I just sat there, waiting for Riyann to wake up and hopefully feel better,.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 17:06:36 GMT
-silence-
-skips a few hours?-
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 16, 2008 17:19:26 GMT
[lol.. yeah.. skipping sounds good ^^]
[should i start or you?]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Oct 16, 2008 17:27:21 GMT
I woke up, my head pounding, feeling like it was just going to split in half at any moment now and I shut my eyes tight after catching a glimpse of a well lit room, causing more agony to my head. Letting out a small groan I brought my arm over my face, before thinking about burrying my head into the cusions of the couch I was currently on. I did that, but kept my arm over my head just incase light made it's way to my eyes as it was.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Oct 17, 2008 13:05:22 GMT
A few hours had passed, me just basically sitting there. I had to admit though, that I was glad I came up here instead of to the Hospital wing, because all I had to do up here was read or something until she woke up, if I went down there I would have been talking to Pomfrey for ages.
I was reading when I heard a small groan coming from where Riyann was. I shut my book quietly and looked up to her to see her rolled over with her arm over her face. I asked the room to lower the lights and it did accordingly a few seconds later. It probably wasn't going to help much, but I didn't really know what to do. I was trying to remember a spell that relieved hangovers though.. unfortunately it wasn't coming to me.
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