|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 1:37:35 GMT
"Well, you can still decide not to answer," I shrug. As you seem to have possibly done....
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 1:44:19 GMT
"Can I ask you not to leave?" I asked softly, biting my lip a little and looking to her. "I'll answer your question or whatever just please don't." I whispered.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 1:51:03 GMT
I shake my head before she's even finished speaking. "Can't make any promises there. I can't say that I won't, 'cause I don't know. And I especially can't say I won't if I don't even know the reason that I shouldn't."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 1:53:17 GMT
"Because of Riley." I said softly, looking away this time, really not wanting her to leave, but what if they just kept getting back again, as odd as that sounded?
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 1:58:27 GMT
I laugh faintly, shaking my head and looking down at the ground. "That's one of the reasons I'm going, so doesn't really work as a reason not to."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 2:14:14 GMT
"So you really don't care about him?" I asked, though I knew she did which was the only reason I said that.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 2:19:21 GMT
"No," I say immediately and a little sharply, looking up. "No, that's hardly it. I think it might be better for both of us... and everybody else I know... if I just disappear for a while." My own internal lie detector gives a slight chirp at these words, finding the truth in them debatable... though not enough to make it an outright lie.
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 2:25:56 GMT
"I really can't believe that." I said, shaking my head. "I really can't believe you think it would be helping to just up and disappear." I said, my eyes locked on her now as I spoke. I could almost hate her because she was willing to do this.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 2:38:37 GMT
"Do you have a better solution?" I ask a little wearily. "And it's not... it's not just this whole... situation... though that is a factor. I have other reasons."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 2:42:29 GMT
"Yeah, stay and suck it up." I said, wanting to hit her upside the head. She was Riley's best friend, Riley loved her, Arden just getting up and leaving would be like Shelby getting up and leaving on me, nearly impossible to deal with.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 2:46:45 GMT
Which isn't a solution to anything, I think, shaking my head. I still don't understand really why she's so against the idea. It's not as though Riley and I can talk much lately anyway, so it doesn't matter if I'm gone or not. "Look, it's not exactly definite. Nowhere near."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 2:52:03 GMT
I just shook my head a little. "D-don't do this to him." I whispered, hating that I had to beg the person that my husband cheated on me with to stay and not hurt him because she up and wanted to leave. "Please." I whispered. If anything I'd do whatever she wanted, if she wanted me out of the picture then fine, just as long as she didn't do this to him.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 19, 2008 3:00:00 GMT
I bite my lip again, looking away. I really don't have a response to that... but if I wasn't blocking out any feelings for him, I think the thought of hurting Riley as much as she seems to think I will would very much bother me.
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 19, 2008 19:16:54 GMT
I watched her as she said nothing, turning her eyes away from me and I wondered now what she was thinking, wishing I really could know, to know if she cared about hurting him or not. Really there's been me and now Arden that Riley's really loved, and I've already hurt him more than I thought I could, Arden shouldn't be allowed to hurt him as well, if that makes any sense at all. "Just please don't Arden." I said softly, shaking my head a little bit now.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 20, 2008 0:23:51 GMT
I shake my head again, turning back to my cart and putting away a few books as I reply, not paying quite as much attention as usual to whether they're in the right places. "No promises."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 20, 2008 0:36:03 GMT
Just hearing that I really wanted to slap her, though I don't know if I wanted her to stay for the sake that she's always there for Riley when I'm not or if I really don't want her to leave him like I've done to Riley. "Whatever." I whispered, turning my head away from her, feeling my heart drop slightly more. I wanted to tell her I'd do anything, I'd leave him just to get her to stay, hell I'd go jump off a bridge or something.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 20, 2008 0:40:57 GMT
I let out a sigh at that, closing my eyes briefly and resting my forehead against the bookshelf. I knew that I shouldn't have mentioned it... though clearly for different reasons than I was imagining. It hadn't even occurred to me, somehow, that Riley might be bothered. But even if he is I still think I need to do it. "Would've thought you'd be... well, maybe not pleased, but maybe a little," I say after a moment, straightening up again. I glance briefly at the books still on the cart, but suddenly can't face one of my favorite hobbies in the middle of this unpleasant conversation. Somebody else can take care of the rest.
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 20, 2008 0:49:25 GMT
I shook my head, wondering if she meant that I might be slightly pleased that she was leaving because that would mean no more her and Riley kissing or because I was mad at her and Riley both. I wasn't, I think my heart was falling slightly more because all I have ever wanted was for Riley to be happy and I'd messed that up this time, and well I don't want it to happen again. I don't want for his best friend to leave, I don't want him to get hurt, and it's going to happen. "A little pleased that he's going to be hurt again? Right." I muttered, wanting to hit her or just make it so she couldn't up and disappear. "He's been hurt enough, he doesn't need this." I whispered, knowing that it sounded like I was begging her to stay again.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 20, 2008 1:00:26 GMT
I guess that I'm not controlling my feelings entirely, because my heart twinges a little at those words, and I bit my lip again. "Hardly any reason to be hurt," I mutter after a moment, shrugging. Which is why one of the reasons you're thinking of leaving is the fact that some of your closest friends have done the same....
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 20, 2008 1:05:43 GMT
"Oh piss of Arden. Maybe you should pay attention more." I said, shaking my head and this time starting away before I did hit her, because really, now she was just being stupid and childish. Hardly any reason to be hurt my ass.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 20, 2008 1:08:34 GMT
I have to choke back a laugh, which seems to me like something of an inappropriate response to that sort of statement. I shake my head quickly to compose myself, and organize my thoughts again. "Sometimes it can be better to go through a little temporary pain than to put up with something that will just get worse," I point out, finally remembering my argument.
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 20, 2008 1:10:44 GMT
I turn around very slightly when she started speaking, rolling my eyes. "Worse for who exactly? Really, I doubt it would only be temporary for Riley." I said, not believing she could quite believe that, then again she didn't know that he was in love with her. Riley didn't know that she was in love with him, is ignorance really bliss?
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 20, 2008 1:19:20 GMT
"Everything is temporary," I shrug, crossing my arms. "And worse for... everyone. You, me, Riley...." I shake my head. "You can't honestly think that it's a good idea for me to stick around. It's not like we can just be friends like normal, like we used to be."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 20, 2008 1:22:56 GMT
"I can't quite believe that." I said softly, shaking my head a little. "I don't care how it is for me," Just don't hurt him. "I don't care if you're just friends or whatever, I don't care if you guys are more than that. J-just don't leave him." I whispered the last part. How pathetic I must sound to say these things, telling her that I don't care if they want to be more than anything, basically saying that I'd be fine and they could get together. Pathetic because I was going to do anything and I almost hated her.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 20, 2008 4:27:52 GMT
I bite my lip harder, shaking my head. "It... it's not that simple either, I'm afraid. I don't think we can be more, and I don't want to. You two are right together. But we can't go back to friends, so what's left? Just a lot of one-sided and incredibly futile attempts to make us somehow friends again. It won't and can't work, so I just have to leave and it can be all right again."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 20, 2008 16:29:51 GMT
I hate how I'm sounding really quite desperate right now and I shook my head slightly at what she was saying. ''I don't think we can be more, and I don't want to.'' Which really makes me feel even worse because Riley really does love her and now she'll just up and disappear because she doesn't want to be anymore than what they are. Would it help if I told her he loved her? I can't quite seem to make up my mind on what to say. "I'm supposed to be dead, how does that make us right together?" I asked, knowing that it was true, that I really shouldn't have come back, no matter what we thought at the time, because I came back I messed everything up. "He loves you, you know." I said softly, smiling weakly towards her but I know that the smile meant nothing because it hurt to know that he loved her too. Just like it hurt him to know you loved Shell too. She's dead now though.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 21, 2008 2:44:42 GMT
I close my eyes for a moment and find myself shaking my head, in some instinctive, childish sort of attempt to block out what I'm hearing, denying it because I don't like either thing she's said. "No... no he doesn't, no you shouldn't. Everything was fine until just recently, wasn't it?" I ask, looking at her again. "It's really quite easy to delude yourself into false feelings, and... okay, maybe you died once, but that doesn't mean anything."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 21, 2008 19:07:26 GMT
I'm sure that if I hadn't known for a while now that he loved her or if I hadn't been in a public library I would have been crying by now, or at least let a few tears show, because this really did hurt. Why couldn't she just accept the fact that he did love her though? Why couldn't Riley accept that fact? Or why couldn't Arden accept that she loved him too? "H-he does. Why would I just say that?" I asked in almost pure disbelief. "Died once, was a ghost, came back, should've died at least two or three other times. Really, I shouldn't be here anymore Arden." I said, shaking my head a little now.
|
|
|
Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 22, 2008 2:45:38 GMT
"Neither should I," I shrug, shaking my head. "I mean, granted I've never been a ghost, but there's plenty of us out there who shouldn't be, by rights. But you don't see most of us trying to insist that other people should replace us. You obviously are a much better person than me, so please try not to be ridiculous. Riley and I wouldn't even work."
|
|
|
Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 22, 2008 19:27:20 GMT
"Doesn't mean you should just up and leave him." I muttered, still really wanting to keep with my arguement, but I'd already found it ridiculous and now so had Arden. "And how would you know you wouldn't even work?" I raised an eyebrow, at least saying that much. I hate not knowing how things are supposed to be so I really hate it when someone says that it has to be this one thing. How would they know?
|
|