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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 6, 2008 3:21:18 GMT
It hits me in the middle of a section of nonfiction books about the middle ages. I’ve been at work today for about an hour, near silently humming to myself with contentment as I wheel around the little cart, alphabetizing as I go. For the most part it’s a pretty mindless job, but it seems that someone must have been doing some research, and couldn’t be bothered to put things back properly – I’ve just had to pause with book N17 in my hand, noticing that books K26 and A32 are right beside each other, and in that order. I released a little sigh, of course, shaking my head at the carelessness of the nameless library patron, and set to work immediately trying to straighten it up.
And that’s when it suddenly hit me – a very strong surge of contentment, almost so pure that it might be called bliss. I really, really, really love my job. It’s a place where I know what I’m doing… where problems are easy to spot and even easier to fix. I never really thought before that that’s why I became a librarian, because of my incessant need to fix things, but it really does make sense. At least there’s always this, no matter what else is going on in my life – there’s always this one place where I can keep things tidy.
I laugh silently at this thought, shaking my head at myself now as I finish up the section and begin to steer my cart around the corner. Maybe I’m inhaling too much paste from all the bindings.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 6, 2008 14:45:43 GMT
I wasn't exactly sure why I was in a library, but I was, maybe because I really needed some time alone and quiet and away from everyone. Either I'd been ignoring Riley and only talking to the girls at home, or I'd be hiding away in my office after giving brief instructions to the class on what their next essay was about.
But I don't want to do that anymore, I mean I was once again only just over-reacting about a kiss. I over-reacted the first time, I am again this time,only this time I don't want to blame Arden and I really want to hate Riley, but I doubt that seems right. I only know part of the story, walking in and then walking out and slamming the door. Seems like being a little bias with this situation.
Going over to one of the shelves I grabbed a book that might hold a small bit of my interest for a short bit of time, though I doubt I'd be reading it. Instead I went and sat down in a chair, somewhere off to the side from where people were, and opened the book, staring blankly at one of the pages, just thinking.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 6, 2008 17:59:53 GMT
And maybe that means that I'm hallucinating....
For a split second, I actually back up with the cart before realizing that's just ridiculous. She hasn't even seen me, I don't think. She just happens to have come to the library where I happen to work, that's all. It's just fate being funny again.
I glance down at the cart, going back about my business... and close my eyes briefly when I see that the next book I have to put back belongs on a shelf bout six feet away from where she's sitting. Oh boy... yippee.
I studiously ignore her as I push the cart across the room, and keep my eyes fixed on the shelf as I straighten it. Some sanctuary.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 7, 2008 14:10:54 GMT
I stared down at the page, realizing that after a moment, it really was just a boring book that I couldn't even comprehend what it was about, though I think that was because I was extremely distracted by other things.
As I shut the book I hear someone going by me a little, and maybe it was out of habit, but I got up to put the book away and as I did, I turned around to see who it was and bit my lip softly. Well she didn't see you, so you could just as well walk out of here unnoticed. I shook my head a little and go to the shelf she's busy straightening and put my book back to where it belonged, staying silent as I did so.
"H-hey." I managed after a moment and took a small step back from the shelf and Arden herself, afraid that I was getting a little to far in her space and her work.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 8, 2008 23:20:58 GMT
Damn. Busted.
I can't help but laugh inwardly at this thought, though the sentiment is accurate. Luckily, I do not actually laugh out loud or show any signs of amusement, as they might be hard to explain. I just turn around slightly, smiling weakly and nodding in acknowledgment.
"What brings you here?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 9, 2008 0:55:28 GMT
I was afraid she was going to just simply ignore me and continue on with her work, not expecting her to turn around and definitely not expecting to see a smile, even if it happened to be weak. I don't know why I was expecting for her to hate me so much, I just did, which made me feel bad. "N-needed to get away from everything and think." I said softly. Though it seems I haven't even come to that when I come and visit somewhere I'm never at. I suppose that I'd have better luck going and staying in a hospital waiting room where I was bound to see somebody.
"How've you been?" I asked, smiling a little towards her, partially forcing it, though part of it was real. Arden was still Arden, even if we both happened to be in love with my husband. Guess Jealousy never quite ran through the family, sort of.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 9, 2008 0:59:01 GMT
I shrug, glancing down at the book in my hand without really seeing it. I don't know I've been. Confused, I guess. Not really liking myself very much.
"I've been all right." I shrug again. "How... how about you? Any word on Ella or anything?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 9, 2008 1:09:33 GMT
I watched her shrug, and some how didn't trust her answer on how she'd been, but I felt like I really shouldn't push her, so I didn't, I left it at that. I didn't hate her, she probably thought I did and may even hate me, the next thing I needed was to push her to find out she was doing far from all right. Though I didn't trust her answer, I hoped it was true, more than anything. I didn't want her, or anyone else, to be hurt. I nodded faintly at her first answer though.
"I-we, she's home." I said, smiling a little, and I couldn't have been truely happier, until I thought about everything else, then I could slump back to being silent all the time until it was me and the girls alone, I would cry, though not as much anymore. I didn't, however, answer how I've been, I was sure she didn't want to hear about it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 10, 2008 0:54:39 GMT
I instantly smile at that, relieved to hear it, and suppress a sudden urge to give her a hug. I still have a book in my hand, anyway.
"That - that's great. Very good. And she's all right?"
For a second I realize that she didn't really answer that for herself, but I suppose that this is more pressing. And I guess, in a way, she's saying that she's at least somewhat pretty good.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 10, 2008 1:07:26 GMT
I smiled a little when she said that it was good, and I clearly agreed. "Yeah. I found her at Sams." I said softly, nodding a little.
It was kind of hard to keep a conversation anymore, though Arden, or anyone I was talking to, would probably think it was them.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 10, 2008 1:10:27 GMT
I smile back a little bit less though I'm still very relieved, and debate briefly whether to give in to curiosity or just be mainly silent.
"Any idea why she left?" I ask, curiosity winning out.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 10, 2008 1:23:26 GMT
"Uhm, her and Char started the fire." I said softly, biting my lip a little and taking a faint step backwards.
[gah.. really short.. haha]]
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 10, 2008 1:29:27 GMT
I grimace slightly, imagining I'd be pretty shocked if I hadn't known that was a possibility.
"On purpose or accidentally?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 10, 2008 20:11:06 GMT
"Accident." I said softly, nodding faintly. "But she's fine, so that's what matters." I whispered, biting my lip a little. Riley and I weren't, not in the least.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 11, 2008 1:08:54 GMT
I nod in agreement, relieved to hear that as well. It would be a bit worrying if she'd done it on purpose.
"... So... how's... everything else?" I ask after a moment, looking down at the book again as an excuse to not have to make eye contact or anything.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 11, 2008 1:19:41 GMT
I sighed softly, smiling a little, it really was good that Ariella was back, I was more than happy, just me. Again.
"Good until you get back to me." I said with a small smile, shrugging a little as she looked down at the book.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 11, 2008 1:21:59 GMT
I frown slightly, not comprehending, and shake my head as I look back up at her. "Say again?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 11, 2008 1:23:18 GMT
"I meant everything is good until you come to the stuff involving me." I said softly. "You know, if you're asking about everything in general." I added, shrugging again, not like she'd really much care though.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 11, 2008 1:26:03 GMT
"Ah," I nod, then bite my lip and wonder if I should press further. "So... that would make things kind of not really good then, wouldn't it?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 11, 2008 1:32:47 GMT
"At points." I said softly, glancing at the books on the shelves. "I'm confusing myself though." I murmured. Really I hadn't heard the stupid little voice for a while, which I was glad, and maybe I wouldn't for a while, maybe not until I stopped playing this little game to be trusted enough to get a wand again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 12, 2008 0:11:35 GMT
I twitch my lips downward momentarily in sympathy. "Sorry about that then."
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 13, 2008 1:45:53 GMT
"S'not you're fault, nothing to be sorry about." I said, smiling slightly again, shaking my head slightly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 13, 2008 14:28:03 GMT
I shrug, sighing slightly. I've long since stopped trying to argue when people refuse to let me express sympathy. For the most part, anyway.
To cover the mild awkwardness of not having anything to say, I turn to the shelf again just so I can get this stupid book out of my hands.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 13, 2008 15:20:10 GMT
She stayed silent and once again that was probably because of me and I probably should've just let her say sorry and left it at that. But of course I didn't. "So, uhm, anything new going on?" I asked softly, knowing I'd already asked how she was, just didn't know what else to say as she turned and put a book away.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 15, 2008 13:46:48 GMT
I turn back, still unable to find the place this silly book goes... maybe because I'm not really properly reading its title or number.
"No," I shrug, shaking my head... then pause. "Well, actually, yes. I've been thinking about disappearing."
On second thought maybe Riyann is not the first person I should mention this to, but I can't really stop it now I've said it.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 15, 2008 14:46:53 GMT
I nodded slightly when she said no after turning back, the book still in her hands. I glanced at the books on the shelves as she started speaking before turning back to her. "What? Why?" I asked softly, not wanting to butt into her business too much, but still, she couldn't do that. Could she? Well why would she want too would be the real question actually. I mean, if she up and disappeared, I hope she knows that she'd be leaving quite a bit behind, and people like Riley. I mean, really, I don't like the fact that she loves him and he's starting to find out that he loves her too, but still, I, she's always been there for him.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 16, 2008 13:30:06 GMT
"It's just been starting to seem like a better and better idea," I shrug, a little surprised by her reaction. "So many people did it right as the war was ending... and I never really saw the appeal but I'm starting to now." I shrug again, shaking my head, and turn back to put the book on the shelf. "Just a thought."
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 18, 2008 15:09:47 GMT
Though Arden might not know it there was a faint bit of surprise showing across her face, but that didn't much matter. "You're not going to though, right?" I asked softly, not entirely sure why I did, I mean wasn't I supposed to be a little more than mad at her? "I mean, you can't really want to when you think about it, right?" I asked, really hoping that she wouldn't.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Aug 18, 2008 15:52:30 GMT
"Well... yes, I kind of do want to," I shrug, still a bit surprised. "It's pretty appealing. Run away to Canada and raise illegal dragons... I don't know." I shrug again, hesitating briefly. "But... can I ask why you're bothered at all?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Aug 18, 2008 15:58:16 GMT
Because I'm the one that always runs away? Because Riley loves you? I don't want to see you hurt him? Didn't matter why I was bothered by it, I doubt she'd want to hear any of my reasons, that and I didn't want to say them out loud. Maybe if she kept pushing it I would, at least two of the three. "You have already, can't quite say no." I said, shaking my head a little and looking away from her and at the books.
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