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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 0:56:17 GMT
I shut my eyes, feeling another tear slip past and tried to ignore him as he tried to convince me that he did trust me, but I didn't want to be convinced when I knew he didn't. I wanted to leave, but the only way I was going to be able to do that would be apparating out, but I didn't know where to go. Of course I could apparate past the door and just walk somewhere from there.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 1:01:50 GMT
"Why can't you trust me that I trust you?" I asked as she stayed quiet. "There's a small part of me that doesn't, but the rest of me does.. The thing about Jay threw me off.. The tone of your voice when said his name.. I just.. I swear I'd heard it before.."
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 1:05:52 GMT
"I trust you more than anything Riley." I said, looking at him as I came out of my thoughts. If I hadn't of trusted him more than anything, I would've taken the twins with me. But no, I did trust him, and I trusted the fact that they'd be better off with him, that he'd be better for them. "Yeah, each time I told you I was with someone else." I said, rolling my eyes a little and apparated past him and the door before starting to walk behind several witches and wizards.
I know I wasn't being fair, I know I haven't been fair, but there was only so much that I could take.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 1:48:54 GMT
She apparated and I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment before opening the door and walking outside, looking around. She couldn've went back to Shelby's or maybe she just went outside the door. I looked around, seeing her walk behind a few other people and sighed, walking over in her direction and grabbing her hand before she got to far.
"Riyann, please stop walking away from me." I said to her, shaking my head a little bit. "Can you please let me explain?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 1:55:20 GMT
I felt his hand wrap around mine and sighed, shutting my eyes as I stopped walking. "Explain what?" I asked, turning to look at him as I angrily pulled my hand back from his and crossed my arms in front of my chest again. He can explain, I'm only not promising to listen. He's told me before that he trusts me, he's forgiven me, but so far with something new happening each time, I can't see that he was telling the truth, or maybe he was just lying to himself, either way, I didn't want to hear it.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 2:01:07 GMT
"Okay, yes, I heard it in your voice, but I can't say I'm not guity of using the same one." I said shaking my head a little. "It's the voice I used when I told Janie about you.. and the one I used when I told you about Arden." I said with a small nod. "Please stop thinking that it's only you I use for examples. I'm not perfect.. no one is." I said letting her grab her hand back from mine.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 2:06:54 GMT
"I know you're not perfect Riley and this isn't about that. You don't trust me so I really don't see why you're holding onto me so why don't you just let me leave you be?" I asked, not wanting him to leave me alone, I loved him, I really did, he loved me and I knew that, but he didn't trust me.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 2:12:14 GMT
I just shook my head a little bit. "I love you.. and I do trust you, I don't care what you say otherwise." I said watching her. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" I asked holding back a couple tears. "Is that what will make you happy?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 2:17:10 GMT
I could see the tears in his eyes as he spoke and I bit my lip, feeling worse now. Moving I had my arms wrapped around his neck as I kissed him lightly, not sure how this was going to help me, hoping that it wasn't going to last long. I didn't want him to leave me alone, but I did. I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't want to hurt Shelby, and I'm pretty sure there is no way to get around either of those things.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 2:22:27 GMT
I kept my eyes on her and before I knew it, she had her arms wrapped around my neck and was kissing me lightly. I kissed her back for a moment, wondering what to do now. What did that mean?
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 2:27:16 GMT
I felt him kiss back before I pulled away after a moment. What I was going to say next wasn't going to make any sense at all since it was what we were just arguing about. "I need you to trust me, not convince me, just trust me, that this will work out Riley." I whispered softly, pulling away from him a little bit, letting my arms fall to my sides as I looked at him.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 2:31:50 GMT
I nodded looking in her eyes, wiping a tear away. "Okay." I said nodding a litle again. "I trust you." I told her again, keeping my eyes on her.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 2:37:48 GMT
I raised a small eyebrow when he said he trusted me, I hadn't exactly been expecting him to answer with that. "No you don't." I said simply, knowing that I wasn't being serious, but I wanted, needed to see if he was going to try to convince me that he did.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 2:39:56 GMT
I sighed and just shook my head. "Why do you think that I don't?" I asked looking at her. "What do I have to do to get you to believe that I trust you?"
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 2:44:06 GMT
I laughed softly to myself and shook my head a little before turning around and starting to walk again, not sure if he was going to follow or not, now sort of wanting the company.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 2:46:22 GMT
I was sort of taken aback that she laughed and sent a slightly hurt look in her direction, before seeing her turn and starting to walk away from me. I was about to follow when I realised she probably didn't want me to. So I stood there and just watched her.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 14:12:23 GMT
"You don't listen very well, do you?" I asked, turning around to look at him as I spoke, shaking my head a little. I admit I could've handled that better, not have laughed at him, I mean he was trying, I know he was, he thinks he just lost his wife to is cousin, and he's still trying to get me back. So I know he was trying.
Biting my lip I stopped walking and just watched him, knowing that if I kept walking away that would mean not seeing the twins today and that would mean walking away from Riley.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 14:59:06 GMT
"I'm listening. I'm trying Riyann." I said shaking my head a little bit, but still keeping my eyes on her as she stayed where she was. I don't remember ever being this confused over thing's she said and now I realise that it is possible.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 15:02:36 GMT
"Don't convince me love." I said softly, shaking my head alittle, seeing the confusion on his face, wondering if that was just because of me or because he misunderstood me, either way I couldn't tell if this was partially funny or not. It would be, actually, if I was still with him, living with him and not with Shelby, but I'm not, so it's not.
I didn't need him to convince me, I dunno if I'd listen.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 15:12:05 GMT
"Then what I am supposed to do?" I asked her, still feeling confused. I wasn't supposed to convince her? What was I supposed to do then? I couldn't very well show her if she wasn't living with me.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 15:16:05 GMT
I bit my lip a little at this. Now I'm just confusing myself as I stand a little ways from him. "Deal with this a little longer." I said softly, biting my lip. Really, that was a lot to ask for, still, that's all I need is a little bit more time, hopefully.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 15:23:51 GMT
I glanced away from her for a moment, thinking about what she told me to do and just nodded slightly. ".. Okay." I said quietly, looking back up to her.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 15:27:50 GMT
I smiled weakly towards him when he said okay. It's really a wonder how he can love me after what I've done to him and after what I'm asking him to do, I don't understand it and I'm not sure I ever will.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 15:31:18 GMT
I nodded a little bit, seeing her smile toward me weakly and giving a very weak one back for a moment or two, even though I wasn't very much feeling like it at the moment.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 15:36:03 GMT
Nothing else happened, just Riley smiling weakly back for a couple of moments and the two of us looking at eachother. Nothing was going to happen, except for the fact that I was going to turn around and leave him again, not go to the twins' birthday party. "I love you." I said with the same weak smile that was slowly falling apart along with everything else about me, and I turned around and started walking again.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 15:47:02 GMT
I nodded a little. "I love you too." I said quietly back to her with another very weak smile, before I watched her turn around and walk away again. I sighed slightly and watched her for a moment before just looking to the ground and turning back toward the bakery.
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 15:52:12 GMT
Before I had turned and started walking I'd barely caught and heard the four words he said, but the made me smile softly after my back was turned, and then I just walked behind several people, trying to figure everything out for what seemed the millionth time today. Still, I had to figure it out because now Riley probably has some hope to hold onto, that and I didn't want to drag this out and hurt whoever more than I should have to.
That and I want to see Charlotte and Ariella, I just don't think it will be a good idea anymore unless I figure this out.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 15:54:19 GMT
[[ hm... end thread then? lol ]]
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Post by Riyann Servansikk on Jul 7, 2008 16:00:07 GMT
[[That's what I was thinking. lol]]
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jul 7, 2008 16:03:15 GMT
[[ lol okay, woooooooo! ]]
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