Fury (Ian)

[Arden Patricks]

Maddie is in Azkaban, I repeat for the fortieth time since getting the owl from Ian, as if hoping with each repetition that it will somehow make more sense. Madeline Jane Marie Speare, mother of four or whatever it is, one of my best friends, former bloody Order member and all-around decent person, is in Azkaban.

Nope. Still nothing. I don’t think that it will ever make much sense. And I don’t remember the last time I was this furious. I’ve been a little angry with the Ministry all along for the way they’ve handled the whole aftermath of the war – letting people go who clearly ought to be locked up just because they claim they didn’t mean it, then giving others life in Azkaban without even a trial.

The Ministry’s bungling cost me my boyfriend, and I will be damned if it costs me a friend without one hell of a fight. There has to be a fight; she was a bloody Order member and clearly they’ve made a mistake.

So now I’m going to fix this, I’ve decided by the time that I reach the Ian’s and rap very hard on the door. I’ll find a way to fix it, even though I don’t know how or if it actually will help to march down to Ian’s at whatever time of day this is. At the very least I guess I can see how he is, because I’m guessing not well.

[Ian Hunt]

I'm getting sick of being told I'm hated. Since Maddie's been...away - it's much easier to think of her that way than how and where she really is.
Alex has been telling me he hates me on a much more regular basis. It's incredible how much feeling he can really get behind the words. I understand he needs someone to blame and I also understand that I wasn't there when she was taken away, but really...this is not my fault and I can't take being told that it is anymore.
So he and Poppy and Abby are now all with my sister so I can try and sort this out myself.

I've been sitting in the horrifically quiet house on my own for round about two or three hours now and nothing is sorted out.
I've been to see her once or twice but I'm pretty sure I can't go back. I hate that place, I'm terrified of that place, and it's been-...I know that I should go back and see her, but I'm not sure that I can handle it. I wish I wasn't so pathetic.
Drumming my fingers idly on the neck of the bottle of firewhisky I've had balanced on my knee for the past half hour, I wonder what my thought process for that was. I don't know, maybe if I get pissed then I might be brave enough to actually go and see her again.
The faint ill feeling at this is enough to persuade me that no, I won't.
I'm just too pathetic.

A knock at the door isn't much persuasion to get up really. I don't want to talk to anyone and they should all go away so I can think this out.
But a second later I decide that it might be Jack or Nathan or Charlie, all of whom work at the ministry and all of whom have been trying their hardest and maybe this is one of them and everything will be alright.
Maybe.

I don't even really believe this, but I'm still unreasonably disappointed when I pull open the door and it's none of these people.
Instead it's Arden, who's not exactly who I wanted to see, but is also better than alternatives. For the first time in a while, I'm pretty indifferent about seeing her.
So I just nod a greeting in a sort of jerky and unnatural way, muttering, "Hey Arden," under my breath.

[Arden Patricks]

"Hey," I mutter back, in too fast a voice. I get very jittery when angry, and even more prone than usual, if that's possible, to making dumb decisions. I don't know what the hell I was thinking now that I'm here. It really won't do any good and in the state of mind I'm in could very well lead to saying something I shouldn't.

But I can't just turn around now and leave, as that won't really help matters either. So I shrug, shaking my head. "How might you be?"

[Ian Hunt]

"Fine," I mutter, although the question's made me clench my teeth to the point of pain before I can even answer her.
'How might you be?' is a pretty stupid question all things considering. Bearing that in mind, I'm sure Maddie is a hell of a lot worse right now, which there is nothing I can do about, which is alternately frustrating and crushing.
I don't think I can really say that to her though, as the muslces in my jaw are no refusing to unclench enought to speak more than a few syllables.
"And yourself?"

[Arden Patricks]

I shrug jerkily, shaking my head again. That really was quite a stupid question for me to ask, and there's little point in answering now he's turned it around. I'm utterly furious about what's going on and determined to help though I don't know if I can.

Well... I suppose I can say at least some of that. After forcing myself to calm down a bit.
"Anything I can do to help? Anything at all?"

[Ian Hunt]

"No," I mutter, shaking my head in a very tight gesture as if moving in any free sort of way at all is going to kill me somehow.
Maybe there is, but I can't think of anything. The ministry won't listen to me, but I know that it's not really fair to try and get Arden to help me with that.
Maybe I shouldn't exactly care whether it's fair or not and should stop taking into her account her objection for the place or aurors or whatever it is. I don't know.
But I don't know how she could help anyway.

[Arden Patricks]

Of course not. Like always.
I nod, sighing slightly without meaning to. Of course there's no way I can help. There never is. But this time I'm going to anyway, I swear it. There has to be a way to get her out of there. Like death or something. Seeing as she's in there for life.
I don't even realize I'm shaking my head at first until after I've started speaking. "It's a mistake, you know. It has to be. So somehow she'll get out. That or we can storm the place and just release everybody, I don't know."

[Ian Hunt]

I'm a little taken aback at that, especially the sentiment to release everybody but decide not to comment on that bit.
"I know it's a mistake, of course I know," I mutter, just a little bit irritated that she's telling me this. Unsurprisingly, I've already figured it out. But then again, it's not all that hard to irritate me at the moment.
"I'm working on it. We're trying to get her a trial, and then she'll be out."
I won't allow for the possibility that they'll send her back, because honestly, there's no way that could happen because this is the only hope that I've got to hang on to. And logically, if they actually consider it, then they'll know that she doesn't belong there.

[Arden Patricks]

I nod at that, fervently, because that's exactly right. She just needs a trial because it's wrong to deny that to anyone. And once there's a trial there'll realize what idiots they were.
"So is there any way I can help with that? Anything I can do?" I ask again. "I mean... how's that going?"

[Ian Hunt]

"I don't know, we're all working on it," I mutter, running my hand frustratedly down the back of my neck as I try and tie together all loose ends of progress, "It's hard to tell where everyone's at, but I mean...Nathan's worked there for so long, Jack and Charlie have worked there a while too. So if they keep ignoring me when I try, then they're going to have to listen to one of their employees at some point, right?"

[Arden Patricks]

"You would think so," I mutter, shrugging slightly. No one ever listened to me when I worked there, but I suppose I was never very formal about it, and basically just a secretary, so I suppose that others' opinions might matter more than mine did. "But they've got to give her a trial, I mean... what evidence could they possibly have?"

[Ian Hunt]

I pause at that, crossing my arms absently across my chest and drumming the fingers of one hand idly on the opposite elbow, so I can do something with my hands apart from trying to shred the skin away from my nails with my thumb.
"I don't know what evidence they could possibly have," I shrug.
I have some idea what evidence they have.
"But they must have had some if she's in there in the first place."

[Arden Patricks]

"Or they've just gone completely mental and are trying to throw as many people as possible in Azkaban," I shrug. "Someone's not been looking very closely at who they're arresting, that must be what it is."

[Ian Hunt]

"That does seem entirely possible," I agree, glancing briefly up at the ceiling as I've suddenly been struck by the idea of ministry people rounding random people up in Diagon Alley and it's made me nervous, even if it isn't feasible that they'd do that.
At least, I hope it isn't.
"But yes, probably some incompetent auror or something," I nod briefly, not really wanting to contemplate the idea that Maddie's in there for someone's mistake, as it might possibly be worse than the idea that she's just in there as it is.

[Arden Patricks]

"Overzealous," I mutter under my breath, nodding and disliking aurors even more. I frown slightly, then shake my head. This is getting us nowhere really.

[Ian Hunt]

"Yes," I agree uncomfortably, shifting my weight idly from foot to foot and half wondering what this is going to acheive in the first place.

[Arden Patricks]

I shake my head, deciding to change the topic but I'm not sure to what. Then I realize how quiet the house is and glance upwards. "How're the kids with all of this?"

[Ian Hunt]

"I-..." I stop, and shrug slightly, catching myself from an unnecessarily detailed or irritable answer, "They're-...coping."
In that way that they do. They all have specific roles in times of crisis. Poppy tries her hardest to look after everyone. Alex gets even more moody and persistently defiant. Abby...doesn't really have a role yet...she's never been much of a loud baby, but she cries quite a lot.
In the one brief conversation-one sided shouting match that I had with Alex, I've gathered that this is all my fault because I wasn't there when he came to take her away, and I've got no more details than that.
Except, now I keep kicking myself, because I should have been there. If not to actually stop them from taking her, but at least to make sure Alex and Abby didn't see.
"Pretty disheartened," I shrug slightly, "They're...with my sister now, get them out of the house."
It's mostly for my sake to get them out of the house, but hopefully it'll do them good as well.

[Arden Patricks]

I nod. I really can't think what that would be like, having your mother taken away and not knowing if you'll see her again. Not good, obviously. I bite my lip, trying to think what else to do or say.
"So... do you want me to leave you alone?" I ask after a moment. "Or are you just being self-destructive as per usual?"

[Ian Hunt]

"I'm being nothing of the sort," I mutter, just a little bit defensively.
I can't help it. I'm trying really hard to deal with this like a normal person, and not be self-destructive in any way, shape or form. However, needless to say, I'm failing miserably.

[Arden Patricks]

"That's new then," I say, raising my eyebrows. "And a little bit abnormal. Why shouldn't you be?"
I'm being a little... interrogation-y, I suppose. But to be really honest I don't believe him. Of course he's upset, and it's perfectly normal to be self-destructive when upset. Of course, it's not lije she's died or anything. But she could.

[Ian Hunt]

"Because this is temporary, and there's no use in getting too messed up over the fact that-..." I cut myself short again before I get too annoyed. It really seems to be irritating me at the moment that people ask me questions and for my reasoning. I don't need to give reasoning and everything is annoying me at the moment.
"I'm going to die in here, aren't I?"
And now I don't feel annoyed anymore, just thoroughly dejected because she's just decided to make an appearance in my head and my thoughts have turned back to Azkaban where Maddie is sitting and thinking that she's going to die and that I'm going to leave her there. I'm not.
"Know what? Forget it. Doesn't matter," I mutter.

[Arden Patricks]

"'Course not," I mutter, rolling my eyes. Even I'm not really certain what I mean by that, but I suppose all the fury hasn't really bled off, so now he's being snappish I'm allowed to back. I don't really see what he means, either, or what doesn't matter.

[Ian Hunt]

I think I might be following a different conversation in my head from the one I'm having out loud, and now I'm getting a bit lost.
So I just exhale sort of sharply, so it's almost a shaky jittery sort of sigh, before opening the door fully, "You can come in if you want, or you can leave if you want."
I think the snappishness sort of started with her asking if she should leave or not.

[Arden Patricks]

I blink for a moment, then shake my head. I've completely forgotten that I'm still just standing on the porch and we've been having this whole conversation like that. Somehow this seems like something that I should have noticed, but it was not.
"I'll... come in, thanks," I say after a moment, shaking my head again. Have to make sure you're okay.

[Ian Hunt]

"Okay then," I step back a little bit to let her in properly, and am once again surprised as I don't step in anything that anyone's left in the hall.
Claire's tided everything up, so even though the house is usually sort of...in an organised state of...not tidy, now it's neat. It's just unnatural, and another thing that means something is wrong. Coupled with the incessant quiet of the place.
I think I've jinxed it, even though it's ridiculous. All the times that I've said 'Poppy, pick up after yourself' or 'Alex, just be quiet for five minutes' have jinxed everything.
I know it's out of my control of course, but I keep finding trivial little ways to bring blame onto myself. I can't help it.

[Arden Patricks]

I nod, walking into the house and noticing vaguely how... empty it seems, I guess. I think that's the word that I'm looking for. I wish that I could think of other words though, ones that can be said, but I can't.

[Ian Hunt]

"Do you want anything?" I ask, shutting the door behind her and glancing briefly back at her.
Polite house protocol, I suppose, which is somewhat irrelevant because most of the people who come here usually help themselves to whatever they might possibly want while being here.

[Arden Patricks]

"'M'fine," I say, shaking my head. Instinctual politeness... plus, of course, I really don't want anything. Except to be of help.

[Ian Hunt]

I nod slightly at that, and decide to just head into the living room now because she's most likely going to follow so I don't really need to say anything.
Now my 'self-destructive' behaviour which I'm apparently in denial about, is quite clear though, so I just sort of brush aside the spread of cigarette packets and torn up filters, and firewhisky bottles with the labels picked off aside before sinking down onto the couch.
I, of course, have still managed to create mess in the precious few hours I've had here by myself.