Ridiculous [Arden]

[Ian Hunt]

Different day, different kids.
This seems to be how my life goes, I decide as head down yet another identity-less street in muggle London. All these streets look the same anyway. How are you supposed to tell the difference?
"Where'd Sam go?" Daniel turns round to ask me and consequently trips over a step outside some shop or another, stumbles and looks around in a way that suggests he meant to do that.
"Away from you," I roll my eyes slightly, shoving my hands in my pockets.

It's one of those days. One of the days where I get stuck with one of my least favourite kids to babysit and this could have been a day off as well.
Maddie's off with Alex and Abby, Poppy's out with her friends, Claire and Matthew have gone out with Kris and Mez, and Sam had taken Daniel for the day, so that means...I should be free.
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work that way.
Sam turned up on the doorstep a couple of hours ago, looking flustered and irritated and shoved Daniel at me with the brother-to-brother 'take him' sort of imploring look. Sam's not my brother of course, but he has been my step-brother for the past nine years and he practically was before that anyway, so he counts. I like him better than I like Daniel, who is actually related to me by blood.
There's nothing really wrong with him, I suppose, but a quick glance over at him doesn't do much to reassure this, he's just really annoying. I think this is because he's nine and because he thinks he knows everything and enjoys senseless violence and generally causing disruption.
But anyway...Sam has girl troubles or something and apparently I wouldn't understand but he can't sort them out with a little bastard in tow, so could I please take him for a couple of hours? Well, no, not really.

I managed half an hour in close proximity with him in the house, before the constant barrage of questions got too much for me.
It's one of the things that make him annoying, he never shuts up and he has to question everything. He also likes to ask awkward questions, and he really knows how to hit below the belt.
We had quite the conversation earlier, which has lead to us being here in the first place. I'm constantly amazed by the way he has no inhibitions about asking people things like 'You're a mudblood, aren't you?' I've had that a few times. And then I get 'Shouldn't you be in the muggle world then?' and then 'What's it like out there? They really can't do magic?'
Dad can't do magic, and he knows that, so it's really not all that incredible. But I thought I'd drag him out here anyway so he could see for himself and also so I can distance myself from him by a few feet.
He's been complaining about being bored for a while, and asking me where Sam is, and when we can go home, but I'm making a point.
I've quite forgotten what point it is, but I know I'm making one by forcing him to walk around the muggle world. It's long since stopped making sense to me, but I was bored anyway so I'm not really bothered.

"Can we...go home...yet?"
"No. Not yet."
"You're ridiculous."
I grin slightly, "Thanks Daniel."
He glares at me briefly, before nearly stumbling over another step and then deliberately darting off across the street so he's walking on the other side of the pavement.
"Oi! Come back here you little bastard!" I yell it without really thinking and earn myself a few harsh looks from other pedestrians. I half want to explain that I'm not an abusive guardian or anything, and that he really is a little bastard, and half want to remember for next time that this sort of behaviour isn't tolerated in public.

[Arden Patricks]

I have no small children with me today. Lilith and Leo nearly always take care of their own, of course, and Katie usually goes to them instead of me due to her friendship with Micheal… so up until recently this was not an unusual state of affairs. Not until Melody, at least. But Fitzy and I had a fairly loud and pointed discussion just the other day – loud and pointed on my part, that is; bewildered and defensive on his – and so today I think he is following my advice and actually spending time with his daughter, leaving me to my usual leisure pursuits… reading and walking.

It is possible, I think, that my time was better spent as a babysitter… at least from a broad, objective view. But personally, I’ve missed being able to go on a walk completely out of the blue whenever I get too stir-crazy, without having to worry whether the baby is asleep or anything like that. Yet another reason to be glad I’m not really a parent. Children are incredibly time consuming. And they do things you really wish they wouldn’t… such as dash across the street abruptly.

I look around in mild alarm and curiosity before I’ve even registered that I recognize the voice that’s yelling across the street, and see a kid a few paces behind me who looks a bit too pleased with himself… perhaps because he’s glad that he’s not gotten killed as he should have been. Why Ian is yelling at him I really don’t know, but I guess there’s a resemblance and I don’t recall all his family. But even if he was just a total stranger I’d do the same thing, which is rise an eyebrow at the kid and nod across the street. “Perhaps you should do what he says there… though maybe you ought to try the crosswalk this time.”

[Ian Hunt]

"No thanks," He snorted derisively, casually brushing himself off as if the effort of running across the street had gotten him dirty, "Rather not."

I'm not all that fazed by the fact that he's decided to talk to strangers, although if I was I'm sure I might be glad that he's chosen someone I know won't abduct him to keep him occupied by the time I get there.
After I think this, I decide that maybe I do want him to be abducted just to get him away from me properly, but that might be a little hard to explain to Dad and Mez.
I head across the street, mostly oblivious to the cars and only having to stop sharply once before continuining on to the other side and shoving Daniel in the shoulder, "Prat."
"Hey Arden. No babysitting today?"

[Arden Patricks]

I raise my eyebrows at him again, but haven't yet formed a proper reply before Ian's there and my conclusion that they're related is reinforced by such a friendly greeting.
"No, not today." I shake my head, crossing my arms. "Clearly the same can't be said of you though. Where'd you borrow him from?" I ask, pointing with my chin at the little boy. "Because apparently it's someplace where his parents don't mind what words he goes home saying," I add, faintly amused.

[Ian Hunt]

"Lucky you," I reply, resisting the temptation to roll my eyes, "This is Daniel. He's my Dad's."
I grimace slightly at that, and Daniel wrinkles his nose in distaste.
Then I grin briefly, "Oh he knows worse words than that."
"You taught 'em me," He mutters.

[Arden Patricks]

"Ah," I nod, remembering now something or other about a half-brother. I'd never met him before now though. I raise my eyebrows again, shaking my head. "Well, nice to see you're so fond of each other and you have such lovely morals when it comes to corrupting small children."

[Ian Hunt]

"Oh, we're very fond of each other," I nod, "Aren't we Dan?"
I'm not surprised to receive no reply apart from him crossing his arms, and glaring stubbornly at his shoes.
I grin slightly, as this means the somewhat unorthodox point-making/punishment seems to be working, "He's not that small, and I didn't teach him all the words he knows."
Then I shrug slightly, "How've you been since we last spoke?"

[Arden Patricks]

I shake my head again, shrugging. "He's small enough - no offense - and I shouldn't think so... but never mind. I've been... all right." I shrug again. "Nothing is really different since the last time we spoke except I've been to see Logan a couple of times. And I'm hardly about to mention that.

[Ian Hunt]

"I am not small," He mutters.
I shake my head slightly, biting my tongue to stop from commenting.
"Alright?" I repeat, raising an eyebrow at the pause before she seems to settle on a pretty nondescript answer anyway.

[Arden Patricks]

"Yes you are," I say, looking down at him. "You're smaller than me, anyway, so therefore you're small." Then I shrug, shaking my head. "Yes, perfectly all right. Just maybe a little tired is all, and therefore somewhat out of it. How are you?"

[Ian Hunt]

"You're smaller than him, doesn't make you small, does it?" Daniel juts his chin moodily in my direction at the word 'him' rather than referring to me by name, as usual, then stares stubbornly up at Arden in that infuriating way of his.
"Shut up Daniel," I mutter, then shrug slightly, "I'm alright too. Everything's...alright."
These words probably have little or no significance to a normal person, but when everything is alright, I find it a little disturbing. It's not very often that things are that way.

[Arden Patricks]

"Might," I shrug, raising my eyebrows at the kid again. "Although I do admit I'd probably be unreasonably offended if I was referred to as small." I shake my head, smiling slightly, as I turn back to Ian and belatedly register what he's said. "Is it really?" I ask, automatically distrusting what he's said. I very rarely accept 'all right' or 'okay' from anybody, but especially Ian. It's just not likely to be true... or at least I can't help thinking that it isn't.

[Ian Hunt]

"Well, I think you're small," He states blandly, shaking his head.
"Go and stand over there," I nudge him in the back lightly, giving him a small shove in the direction of the road, "And just wait. Trust me."
He surprisingly, doesn't take the hint and stays resolutely still with his arms crossed across his chest. This time last year, he would have gone and stood in the middle of the road and waited if I told him to, but this time last year, he wasn't such a twat.
Then I look back at Arden with a small amused smile, tilting my head slightly, "Really is."

[Arden Patricks]

I can't help but laugh, although I try to choke it back when the kid is directed to stand in the middle of the street. "Ian, don't be ridiculous or I'll be forced to take the kid's side and become his ally against you just like everyone else is," I say in a sort of scolding-mother-like voice. I think I'll believe him, at least for the moment, that things are really all right. Then I look back at the kid, retort with, "You're still smaller and I'm more mature," and finish by sticking my tongue out briefly.

[Ian Hunt]

I laugh slightly, involuntarily, because I don't think I've ever heard Arden use that tone of voice with me before and I now feel about ten, "That's harsh."
"Clearly," Daniel folds his eyelids inside out and sticks his tongue out back at her.

[Arden Patricks]

I grimace slightly, wishing I hadn't encouraged him because I don't think I needed to see any inside-out eyelids today.
"So's telling your brother to go stand in the middle of the street, you know. I mean, maybe he deserves it and all, but it does look pretty bad to the passive observer."

[Ian Hunt]

Daniel smirks self-righteously, clearly having won in his mind now, so he's satisfied. He's not happy unless he beats someone at something.
"Oh he deserves it," I shake my head, "And he's being punished by being out here anyway."

[Arden Patricks]

"Is he now...." I nod slowly, eying him. "So how is this a punishment and also what's he done?"

[Ian Hunt]

"I don't remember how it's punishment," I shrug, "But I know that he doesn't like being out here, so...it works. And he was just being generally derrogatory and offensive, and acting like a stuck-up pureblood bastard."

[Arden Patricks]

"Ah, I see," I nod, throwing a look at... Matthew? No... Daniel and crossing my arms. "You're not even really pureblood, are you? Which you should be glad of, if so, because we're inbred."

[Ian Hunt]

"We're not really sure what we are," I shrug slightly.
I don't know what it makes me if Kris was pureblood before he turned out to be a squib, but I'm sort of used to being referred to as a mudblood. And Daniel could technically be pure if it counts that Kris is because Mez is...I try not to think about it. It doesn't matter anymore.
I really don't know how he turned out to be an arrogant little pureblood shit though. I have no clue.
"I don't know what I am," He near enough agrees with me, but of couse has to rephrase it, then he eyes her doubtfully, "You just called yourself inbred."

[Arden Patricks]

"Hm," I nod. It doesn't really matter, I suppose. I then shrug at Daniel. "And what of it? I'm aware that I am. Just as long as I don't turn out to have any mental defects, I'm okay with being inbred. I'm insulting my heritage more than myself."

[Ian Hunt]

Daniel looks at her a moment, probably trying to figure out whether she's being sincere or not as he's not got the hang of that yet, then shakes his head slightly.
"I don't know how he turned out that way," I shrug, "We reckon he was dropped on his head."
If he was dropped on his head, it was probably by me, but I don't feel the need to mention this.

[Arden Patricks]

I laugh slightly, briefly, then stop. "You know, I still haven't seen any evidence for him deserving all of this, and I'm very much considering being on his side now."

[Ian Hunt]

"He's behaving," I nod, "To make it look like he's not deserving this. He does that with his parents too. But we know that he's evil."
"I didn't do anything," He looks up at Arden with a vigorous nod, realising that this might swing it for him to get an ally.

[Arden Patricks]

"Hm...." I nod slowly, a little bit bemused. "And who's we, exactly?"

[Ian Hunt]

"Uh, Claire, Sam and me," I shrug slightly, "We get stuck watching him a lot of the time."
I don't know why Kris and Mez don't watch him more often really, but it's usually one of us siblings that ends up dragging him around with our own respective kids, or just dragging him around in Sam's case as he's only just turned 17.
"You're all boring," Daniel rolls his eyes.

[Arden Patricks]

"Probably true, at least in his case," I nod, not really sure yet if I am going to declare myself his ally but quite unable to help agreeing with him there. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he's unpleasant because of the reception he gets?" I ask Ian.

[Ian Hunt]

I shrug, "It's featured one or two times, I still stand by the 'he started it' argument."
Daniel smirks, "Even your friends think you're boring."
I can't help but laugh slightly at that.

[Arden Patricks]

"Yeah, well, you know we're only his friends because we feel sorry for him," I shrug. "But we all try not to talk to him or anything any more than we have to."