Hoping;;Hayley

[Riley Pearson]

I sat down on the lonely bench at the nearby muggle park. It was down the road from my house... okay, so it was quite a walk down the road from my house, but I wanted to remember things and the best thing to do, or so I was told, was to go places I used to go. And from what I hear, I seemed to be here pretty often. Mostly with Ariella and Charlotte and Riyann actually, so that was good. Maybe I'd remember something sitting here. Either that, or I'd sit here all day and have nothing to show for it but my empty to go cup of tea and a swore butt from sitting on this wooden bench.

I took a sip from my cup and took a look around pausing on the swings for a moment and having my eyes linger over them before just shaking my head. I thought I had something, but when nothing came, I let out a small sigh and turned my attention to another random spot.

[Hayley McMicken]

A while back I would occasionally go to a park. Since school ended, I never found the time to go. Today I walked toward a particular park. It was down the block from Riley's house. I wasn't sure if I was insane, or mental for going that close to Riley's house. Up until a day ago, I had made sure to avoid Riley like the plague. If he found out the truth, he would hate me. Yet I had decided that Riley deserved the truth. Hopefully I would be able to find him out here somewhere.

I looked around the park. Suddenly I spotted him on a bench. I hesitated and stopped walking. Courage had never been one of my strong points.

[Riley Pearson]

I kept looking around, no one and nothing looking very familar. That was, until I came to a certain girl. She looked familar, I just didn't know from where. My eyes stopped on her for a moment, trying to place her, but it was no use, nothing was coming to me. I sighed a little, figuring that maybe I was just so desperate to recgonise something that I started thinking I knew peoele when I really didn't.

[Hayley McMicken]

Gathering all the courage I had, which was very little, I made my way toward Riley. While walking it was like a battle was going on in my head. Would Riley hate me for what I did, and be terrified, or would he appreciate that I told the truth. I decided that it would be somewhere in between. This is my last chance to back out I thought to myself, as I neared.

[Riley Pearson]

I looked up back, seeing the girl that I saw before coming toward me. Maybe I did know her.. I wasn't really sure at all. But I guess I was going to find out. I looked at her for a moment before putting my attention somewhere else. I didn't want to stare, especailly because I really wasn't sure who she was, even if she did know me.

[Hayley McMicken]

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed someone looking at me. It was Riley. He had spotted me, so even if he remembered me or not, the only right thing to do would be to talk to him. I walked the rest of the way to him. It felt as if I was walking to my execution. I stopped in front of him and said, "Hey."

[Riley Pearson]

I looked up to her. So I guess I did know her. "Um.. hi." I said back to her, trying to figure out who she was again. "Um.. I-I'm sorry if I know you.. but who're you?" I asked curiously. This losing my memory thing was really a pain.

[Hayley McMicken]

"I'm your cousin, Hayley McMicken." I explained slightly relieved he didn't know who I was. If he did, it would most likely be because he knew what I did, leaving me with no chance to explain myself. "And don't be sorry, its not your fault you can't remember."

[Riley Pearson]

I knew that name.. she was one that was with us, at least, that's what the girls mentioned. Or hinted I guess. And it was also who Riyann thought pushed me. "Umm.. h-hi." I said starting to wonder if I should leave or not.

[Hayley McMicken]

"Still the same as always Riley." I said with a smile. Preparing myself for the worst I added, "Actually Riley, I'm here because I guessed you'd be here at some point. I think you deserve to know what happened."

[Riley Pearson]

"Same as always?" I asked, wondering what she meant was the same as always. Then listening to her when she started talking again. "What happend?" I asked shaking my head a little. "When?"

[Hayley McMicken]

I decided to ignore his questions. Soon enough he would know exactly what I was talking about. "I told you it wasn't you're fault for not remembering who I am, and its the truth, because its my fault. I'm the one who pushed you in front of the car." I said quietly. It was over, what ever happened happened.

[Riley Pearson]

I raised my eyebrows and stayed silent for a moment. So she did do it.. why would she do taht? What did I ever do to her? "Why did you do that?" I asked surprisely keeping myself calm. I wasn't sure how though, she was the reason I didn't remember any. She was why I couldn't remember my own kids, or my wife or anyone one else for that matter. "You know you nearly killed me?!"

[Hayley McMicken]

"See theres the thing. I don't know why." I said afraid Riley wouldn't believe me. He would be right not to believe her too. I was her almost killer, I wouldn't trust me either. "And yes I do know that I almost killed you." I said with a frown. I knew he would react that way. This was all a horrible idea.

[Riley Pearson]

"How do you not know why?" I asked shaking my head a little bit. "Y-You pushed me infront of a car.. there should be some sort of reason..." I said looking over to her. "Why would you want to kill me? We're friends weren't we?"

[Hayley McMicken]

"Yes we we're friends Riley which makes it all the more difficult for me to figure out why I would do that." I said. "Theres only one reason why I would do that, and I doubt it." I added thinking of what I had learned at the hospital.

[Riley Pearson]

"So you really really don't know why?" I asked looking at her, "Do you remember pushing me?" I asked a little quieter. "What's the reason?" I asked her curiously.

[Hayley McMicken]

"Pushing you is pretty much the only thing I remember of that day, in fact, I got yelled at since I was supposed to be in work." I said. Not remembering things was part of the problem. "About a month before this all happened, I had major head aches that wouldn't stop. I went to the hospital, and they told me it could be a number of things. One of them was multiple personality disorder. I've got a bunch of the symptoms. Headaches, depression, and slight memory lose. Its been happening for a while now, its just getting worse." I explained.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded a little, listening to her and wondering if I should believe her. I mean she did push me infront of a car, but what if she was telling the truth if that's the case, she didn't even want to. "That sounds like a pretty good possibility.." I said quietly with a small nod. I wasn't sure if I believed her yet, but I had to say something.

[Hayley McMicken]

It was obvious the Riley didn't fully believe me. Although I knew it was for a good reason, I couldn't help but feel hurt that he would think that his own cousin that he had known for his whole life, would purposely push him in front of a car. "I know you probably don't believe me with good reason, but please don't hate me." I said.

[Riley Pearson]

I sighed slightly, "I don't even remember you, you pushing me infront of a car is all I have to go by..." I said with faint shrug. "I don't hate you.. I don't think.."

[Hayley McMicken]

"I know you'll probably never trust me again, I wouldn't even trust myself." I said. "But thanks Riley. Thank you for not hating me." This was going better then I thought. Only a few minutes ago, I thought Riley would run away in fear after I told him.

[Riley Pearson]

I shrugged a little bit. It was hard to hate someone I didn't even remember, but then again, she did push me infront of the car.. and I didn't remember anybody because of her. This was all her fault. I probably should hate her for possibly ruining my life. I nodded a little staying quiet.

[Hayley McMicken]

"If theres anything you want to know, just ask." I said. It was my fault his memories were gone, so I wanted to give some back. I just wished he would get mad at me or something so I could know how he actually felt.

[Riley Pearson]

"I'm not sure I want to ask you.." I said quietly with a small shrug. I felt sort of bad but I just didn't know. She seemed genuine.. but I couldn't really tell.

[Hayley McMicken]

"Do you want me to same I'm sorry? I am, but theres only so many times I can say that!" I snapped. I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. I knew Riley was right for not trusting me, but in my own perfect world everything was supposed to go back to normal.

[Riley Pearson]

"It's just.. I know you said you were sorry.. and I don't hate you.." I started shaking my head a litte bit. "It's just, I don't remember what you were like, so I don't know what's going on anymore..."

[Hayley McMicken]

"I understand that Riley." I said calming down trying to come up with a way to make Riley understand. "Have you re met anyone else from the family yet?" I asked. Maybe based on what they told him, I could regain trust.

[Riley Pearson]

"I've talked to Riyann, Shelby, a couple of Shell's kids.. um.. that's about it." I said with a small shrug.

[Hayley McMicken]

I decided that if he had been told certain things, the few people would be enough. "What do you now remember about Shelby?" I asked. If he knew any of her dark past, I could use that as a comparison.