I'm what?;;{{Arden

[Arden Patricks]

"Ah, all right then." I squeeze his hand briefly, then let go. "At least you'll be giving them good news this time around."

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled and nodded a bit, letting her let go of my hand again, "Yeah.. just wish I didn't have to give them the bad news in the first place. But this is much better than coming back to an empty hospital room.."

[Arden Patricks]

"Yeah, very," I agree, feeling my throat constrict at the thought of that. "But it was still good that you did. It would be even worse if they'd had to come to an empty room and you'd never told them."

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded some, "I guess that would be worse." I said, thinking about it for a few moments again. Especially if there was anything they wanted to say to me.. what if they didn't?
I know I never got to really say bye to my dad and I wanted to give them that chance.
".. Would've been terrible." I added a bit quieter.

[Arden Patricks]

"Just like every other death," I say under my breath.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded some again. "Yeah.." I said a bit quietly back. But the point was that I wasn't going to be dead today.. more than likely, at least. And I was still going to be here when they got back.

[Arden Patricks]

"Sorry," I say after a moment, shaking my head. "Just thinking about how everyone I've known who went and died did it without any warning."

[Riley Pearson]

I shook my head, "It's okay... I was thinking about the same thing, actually." I said sort of quietly before biting my lip for a small moment.

[Arden Patricks]

"Mm...." I nod, since I don't think there's anything to say to that. "Well... hopefully there won't be any more of those either for a good long while."

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded a little bit, "Yeah.. I think that'd be preferable." I said with a very weak sort of smile.

[Arden Patricks]

I smile weakly back, running my fingers along the back of his hand again instead of saying anything.

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled a bit more when she started to run her fingers over the back of my hand again and I really had no idea what I was supposed to say. Though I did want to say something.. nothing was really coming to me that I was sure I should say.

[Arden Patricks]

I can't think of anything more to say, so after a moment I lean forward and kiss him again softly.

[Riley Pearson]

Well that seemed to solve the problem of not knowing what to talk about... I guess. It takes me a second to respond and I kiss her softly back, resting a hand gently on the side her neck.
I still couldn't believe that this was really happening.. and even though she's told me that she loves me, I was still finding myself slightly questioning why she was doing this. I couldn't picture her actually staying with me.. But that might be because this has happened before and none of those times has she ever picked me.
I broke the kiss after a few moments, but didn't really pull away from her. "You're sure that you love me?" I asked sort of quietly, now thinking I probably should have just kept kissing her instead.. but it was, once again, too late for that.

[Arden Patricks]

I grimace slightly, but it's a perfectly fair question. And I'm sure of the answer, at least for the moment, so I nod without looking away from him. Yes, I'm sure I love him. And I've given up on Logan, even if he doesn't know it yet.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded faintly, with a small smile and leaned a bit closer kissing her again.
It's actually just occurred to me that the last time Charlotte was here, I sort of promised her that I'd give our relationship another go if I got through this. And now that this has happened, I don't think that I'm going to be doing that anymore.
I'd just have to explain to her what's happened.. maybe she'll understand.. And if she doesn't, which I would understand, well, I don't really know what then. Whether she understands the situation or not, I've still got Arden and as long as she stays with me, giving up a second chance with Charlotte isn't much of a big deal.

[Arden Patricks]

((This is horrid... absolutely horrid. I just have to say that.))

I kiss him back deeper, praying in the back of my mind that it really will stay this way and nothing will happen to make me change my mind and hurt him again.

[Riley Pearson]

[ It is a bit, I'm going to agree with you there .. but if Arden does change her mind then all these little things are gonna make him more upset with her, lol, it's hard to make him mad xD ]

I let her kiss me back deeper and continue to kiss her, deciding to just stop thinking about what I'm going to tell Charlotte.. and what I'm going to have to tell Riyann as well.. I don't have any clue what's going on with her lately. I shouldn't be thinking about that right now.. and actually it was easy enough to stop thinking about.

[Arden Patricks]

((Aye... 'Cause... at this point I'm pretty sure she is. ))

((And... I can't think of anything to say again.))

[Riley Pearson]

[ ... and yeah I sort of assumed ]
[ and tis quite alright! ]

I pulled slightly away from the kiss another few moments later when something else occurs me. I don't know why I hadn't thought about this before, and actually I find it kind of funny how I keep thinking about things when I'm kissing her rather than thinking about things to ask her when we're sitting in silence. "You've already spoken to Logan, right?" I asked a couple seconds later.

[Arden Patricks]

(( ))

Oh, fuck. Now, that is an excellent question. Thank you for voicing it.
I can't quite look at him now, biting my lip and hesitating before I shake my head. "... No."

[Riley Pearson]

[ eh *shrugs* ]

I opened my mouth to say something, but then shut it again. Mainly due to the fact that I've just remembered that she didn't even know I wasn't going to die.. or already be dead by the time she came back here... So unless she was going to leave him anyway, I don't see why she would've spoken to him.
".. Actually, I don't really see why you would've.." I commented outloud, shaking my head faintly. "Nevermind... Unless you were already planning on leaving him?" I asked, not wanting to get confused in all of this but having a feeling it was going to happen.

[Arden Patricks]

"Actually, I was." I shrug slightly. I don't think I should tell him that since he'd be dead, I then planned to kill myself. "Just haven't really said so yet."

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded faintly, "Oh." I paused for a moment, "Alright." So really, I guess that it was fine that she hadn't talked to him yet. "But you're still going to talk to him?" I asked, wondering if I should be worried or not. He hadn't done anything to me before but now if he did try something I don't think my body could handle it.

[Arden Patricks]

"Well, that or just move in with you and let him figure it out for himself," I mutter, clearly not serious. "I kind of have to, Riley."

[Riley Pearson]

I gave a faint chuckle and shook my head faintly. "Yeah.. guess you do. I don't think I'm thinking very clearly right now or something."
".. Is is possible to maybe leave me out of it?" I asked.

[Arden Patricks]

"If I can," I shrug. "But you're not - no offense meant, but you're not the reason anyway, so that should be easy enough. I'm just... tired of trying."
And I wonder if that is actually a little bit insulting, though I didn't mean for it to be. 'I give up on my current relationship, so you're second best.' Hm.

[Riley Pearson]

"I wasn't really expecting to be." I said shaking my head a little bit. "I mean, you didn't even know that I wasn't dying before you got here.. if I was even still alive."
So, in a sense though, I was sort of second best.. but I guess I didn't mind much at the moment.

[Arden Patricks]

"True," I agree, tilting my head. So I guess it doesn't sound as bad as I thought. "Can I say yet again that I'm really very glad you're not dying?"

[Riley Pearson]

I smiled a bit more at the second thing she said and nodded. "I'm pretty happy about it, myself."