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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 6, 2009 16:23:59 GMT
I shrug, "I see."
Or not, actually, because I've not noticed her being insulting or hurtful very often at all, so either I'm thick skinned or just thick in general...or have just been insulted so many times I don't notice anymore.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 6, 2009 16:30:10 GMT
I shrug again, shaking my head and looking away.
So... what exactly was it that you missed about this?
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 6, 2009 16:36:08 GMT
"We're not doing very well, already, huh?" I mutter after a moment.
Mostly just to fill the silence, really, because it bugs me.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 6, 2009 16:38:34 GMT
"Apparently not." I laugh slightly, though it really isn't funny.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 6, 2009 16:41:38 GMT
I laugh briefly too, more of a 'huh' than anything.
Really though, this makes no sense and I don't even know why it sucked so much while it was over, just that it really really did.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 6, 2009 16:44:33 GMT
"This... doesn't make any sense," I say after a moment. "Why are we together? Why in the hell did we miss each other so much?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 6, 2009 16:48:05 GMT
"I don't know," I say, despite getting very sick of saying that by now, "It just...doesn't make sense, that's it, I guess."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 6, 2009 16:49:45 GMT
"Oh, well that's very...." I shake my head, not finishing. "You can be incredibly irritating, but I do know that I love you."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 6, 2009 16:55:47 GMT
"Well, that's a relief," I mutter, then because I feel like I should say it back being as she's said it twice now and I've yet to, "I love you too."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 7, 2009 3:33:37 GMT
I shrug, which somehow seems to me like not quite the proper response... but, if there is a proper response I don't know it, and now that I really think about it I'm not sure I believe him and I don't know why that is.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 7, 2009 17:08:55 GMT
I get the feeling she doesn't take me seriously when I say that, probably the shrug, I suppose. Same response last time, actually, although we were 'breaking up' then so maybe it's understandable.
"You don't seem to believe me," I note.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 2:30:05 GMT
"Well... sort of." I shrug again. "Maybe not that I don't believe you but... something else, I don't know. Doesn't matter anyway." At least not to me, I mean, though if he does I can see how it might matter to him. I think it's the 'if' that's the problem here, however.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 10:32:57 GMT
"It sort of does matter, actually," I argue, shrugging slightly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 14:15:13 GMT
"If you say so," I shrug back.
And granted, if I'm going to be properly honest, it matters to me as well but I can live with it either way.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 14:18:46 GMT
"So why not?" I ask.
I feel a little ridiculous pressing it, actually, but much as talking about why she doesn't believe that I love her isn't particularly pleasant...it's still something to talk about.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 14:21:08 GMT
"... Why not what?" I ask, frowning at him.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 14:24:00 GMT
"Why don't you believe me?" I ask, shrugging, "Or 'something else'...or whatever you said."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 14:28:16 GMT
"I don't know," I shrug, looking down at my hands. "And... no, I guess maybe 'believe' really is the right word. I was looking for a better one but... never mind. It's not that... I actively don't believe you, or have a reason to. It's just an absence of faith and I don't know why. I mean... looking at the facts, I don't know why you'd be here if you didn't... but I guess you must have a reason because I can't seem to believe you, that's all."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 14:31:18 GMT
I pause, then finally nod because I suppose that makes a bit of sense and there's really no response I can actually make anyway.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 14:33:32 GMT
I shrug again, still looking not at him. "Sorry."
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 14:35:14 GMT
"It's fine," I shrug back, yet again, although I don't know whether it is fine or not.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 14:37:30 GMT
I shrug, yet again, and then nod.
Somehow, this isn't going at all like I sometimes imagined, briefly before squashing said imaginings.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 14:39:46 GMT
I wonder if it'd be out of order to go out already, despite the fact that I've only just come back anyway.
Probably.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 14:47:08 GMT
"... This is just going to fall apart again," I say after a moment. "Dammit. Do you think we can start over already or is that just ridiculous?"
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 14:57:05 GMT
I sigh briefly, but don't respond because I don't if that even needs an answer.
Of course it's ridiculous, and if we started over already we'd just end up back here again sooner or later.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 15:04:20 GMT
"Thought as much," I shrug, smiling wryly. Then, because I just don't know what else to do and I missed being able to touch him even if it wasn't often anyway because he's as bad as... me, back when I was a teen... I reach for his hand.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 15:10:04 GMT
I pause before I take her hand back, trying to gage how tactile a mood I'm in and how much I'm willing to try and be normal today, and then deciding that I really should try because I really do want this to work.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 15:12:41 GMT
I smile faintly, briefly, before running my other hand up his arm, just to be touching him again.
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Post by Logan Andrews on Mar 8, 2009 15:18:10 GMT
I twitch a faint smile briefly back in her direction, and although I'm not quite sure how to return the contact, I take a slightly firmer grip on her hand.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 8, 2009 15:30:57 GMT
I kiss him very softly on the edge of the mouth after a moment, still holding his hand and not saying anything because I really can't think of anything to say besides the obvious I've already said.
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