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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 2, 2009 16:12:10 GMT
I hate being home.
I've been managing not to be except when absolutely necessary over the past... however long. Because whenever I'm not here, whenever I'm distracted, it's better and it doesn't hurt as much. Whenever I am here, it's hard to resist the temptation to just curl up in a ball and be miserable.
It's worse than being suicidal, strange as that probably sounds. At least there's a solution then, something very simple and concrete. Now, there's nothing. No end in sight, and nothing to fix it. Just an awful, gaping wound that won't close, made all the worse because I helped to put it there.
At least he's better off now, even if I'm not. And he's probably over it by as well, in addition to being safer from the threat of capture. So this is okay, that I feel like I do, and I wouldn't take it back if I could because that would just be selfish of me - especially considering how fickle I still am. Fickle and pathetic, that's me. Can't appreciate what I've got while I still have it, then become a mess when it's finally gone. I need to get out of the house again, just as soon as I can be bothered.
((Gah, this is terrible.... but, at least it's something.))
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 2, 2009 16:30:06 GMT
Why am I even here? This is his sister, the sister that probably barely tolerates me cause I'm a whore from what I've been told by Fitzy... the man I still love. Damnit. This is just stupid.
None the less, I still knock on the door shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I wait patiently for her to answer the door. I'm surprised that she hasn't yet to be honest for some reason. Arden always seemed the type to jump at a sound and inspect it thoroughly so she knows there's nothing to worry about.
I'm also surprised that Logan hasn't answered the door neither. Maybe he's forbidden to answer the door when I knock or something after the whole incident with torture and possibly have been carrying his child. Yeah, I'll just go with that. It seems logical and makes me not feel as impatient now that I'm still standing on outside of her home.
Once again I knock, this time sighing as I do so, as if that would make her jump to her feet instantly to answer my random visit that I still don't know why I'm here. I'm sure she's sick of people complaining about her brother to her. It seems the most common thing Arden and I even talk about anymore to be honest and that's sort of depressing if you think about it. On the other hand, we never really were technical friends porsay, just people who would listen to each other rant or talk about things in their lives that were bothering them at times. That sounds about as logical as what Fitzy and I are, people who mutually care if the other died or something like that.
One conclusion though I have come to while I'm standing here is that men are pointless and I shouldn't bother with them for a while. Just be single sit around maybe for a day and eat ice cream and watch romantic comedy movies like muggles do... mostly muggle teenagers but still. It seems somewhat effective and fun to do right now. Maybe Arden and I could do that today... then again Arden never really was one to be well... social.
((Yours was fine, mine was all rambly and unlogical. XD ))
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 2, 2009 16:42:27 GMT
It takes a little while for the fact that someone's knocking on the door to penetrate my shell of self-pity and patheticness... and then even longer before I actually act on this knowledge. Probably it's Riley, though I can honestly say I hope not. We shouldn't be around each other right now. But possibly it's Lilith, or maybe even Fitzy, now that we're more-or-less speaking again. I suppose either of them would be all right. But somehow I think they're a little less likely. So I answer the door reluctantly, wishing I wasn't so apathetic that when I finally do see who it is, I can't even summon all that much surprise. "... Oh. Hey, Shelby. Haven't seen you in a while." Since she showed up and told me she was pregnant with possibly Logan's child but wished it was my brother's instead, if I recall. But even that knowledge won't reach the proper parts of my brain. ((Yours was lovely.  )) |
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 2, 2009 23:49:00 GMT
That sounded rather cheery...
"Yeah... been working well rather playing quidditch really. You should come and see a game as we've been winning more than losing lately." I say with a shrug as I notice that something isn't right about her. Not that she isn't smiling or anything but if it's possible she seems even more upset or introverted today. "Is something bothering you Arden? I can come by later if you want?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 2, 2009 23:52:36 GMT
I barely take in whatever she says at first, responding only when she asks if she should leave.
"No, I need a distraction and I don't want to kick you out," I say, shaking my head as I open the door up properly in case she wants to come in. "I'm assuming there's a reason you're here, right?"
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 3, 2009 0:15:35 GMT
I have to admit I'm taken back by this offer. "Um. Thanks I guess." I say softly before stepping in and walking into her house. I look around for a few seconds as I make my way over to the couch. "Sorta. Fitzy really as usual. He let Lacey move in to be closer to Melody which I can understand but he doesn't love me afterall. Jerk... I hate men. Where's Logan anyway?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 3, 2009 0:22:32 GMT
In the back of my head I feel slightly selfish for it, but it is hard to say anything in response to her problems when she's asked me a question like that. "H- w-w-we... 'broke up,' for lack of any better term," I mutter, crossing my arms and looking at the floor. "So I guess I can sympathize a bit," I add, attempting a smile.
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 3, 2009 0:24:29 GMT
My serious face drops instantly the moment I heard her news. "Arden..." I say softly before walking over to her and looking up at her excuse for a smile. "You okay? We should have some ice cream and just watch movies." I say with a laugh as I extend a hand out to her to rub her arm but I change my mind remembering she doesn't like to be touched. "What happened?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 3, 2009 0:31:29 GMT
"No, it's fine," I say, shaking my head. "It just didn't work; we were trying to be normal and we're not. Besides, it's better this way. He shouldn't've been hanging around here for so long anyway."
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 3, 2009 0:44:19 GMT
I nod faintly, not commenting on anything that she has said really yet. "I see... well no one is technically normal... wait where did he go?" I ask softly as I bite my lip. "Maybe we should have that ice cream now."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 3, 2009 0:52:15 GMT
"I don't know, and I don't plan to. Just... 'away,' anywhere but here." I shake my head, then smile faintly. "I'll see if I have any, I guess."
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 3, 2009 0:54:05 GMT
"Away huh... okay then." I say with a nod before resisting the urge to ask her why they even broke up in the first place. I smile faintly back her before nodding and following her into the kitchen. "Anything else been going on?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 3, 2009 0:57:34 GMT
"Not really," I shrug, automatically drifting over to lean against the countertop rather than check the freezer. "Just... fallout from that, really. I'm allowed to talk to Fitzy again, for example, and things with Riley are awkward." I shake my head again at the drama. "But what about you?"
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 3, 2009 1:31:11 GMT
"Allowed to talk to him? I don't think that's a real reward to be honest..." I say rolling my eyes lightly until she mentions Riley. "Well yeah, it's going to be. I mean, you two were almost together by the sounds of it and he is or was with Charlotte." I add as I lean against the counter as well now. "If you mean boys, I'm not talking about them. I just think your brother is stupid. " I say with a faint laugh. "Other than that, I'm not pregnant? I can't have any more even if I want."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 3, 2009 1:34:43 GMT
I laugh faintly in agreement with the first thing she says, then shrug to most of the rest of it and finally grimace sympathetically. "Well, that's... I don't know, actually. Did you want to have more?"
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 3, 2009 1:41:47 GMT
"If I ever do find someone to be with and settle, I have a feeling he would want a child and I can't give that to him even if I wanted. So if I did settle I probably would want one more, but it doesn't matter now." I say with a light shrug before looking at her. "I think I need that ice cream now..." I add just above a whisper as I sigh a little.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 3, 2009 15:47:44 GMT
I twitch my mouth sympathetically again, though I can't really find anything to say to that.
"... Oh, right," I add a moment later, nodding and checking the freezer. "There's an ancient carton of strawberry in here," I shrug, extracting it. "But I'm not really hungry," I add, shaking my head. "You go ahead."
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 4, 2009 5:17:04 GMT
I wave my hand at her. "It's fine... really. It's not like anyone wants to be with me. Your brother proved that hypothesis didn't he?" I say with a sigh as I take the strawberry ice cream from her. "Where's the spoons?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 4, 2009 5:22:50 GMT
"Well, maybe you just need to change your taste, if you're disappointed that Fitzy of all people rejected you," I mutter, shrugging. I hope that she doesn't take offense, because I mean it in a perfectly friendly way - he's not worth it. "And they're over there," I add, nodding to a drawer; then, on second thought, taking one out for her instead, as well as one for himself.
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 4, 2009 5:26:44 GMT
"I know but you can't just change your taste Arden. I'm sure you could relate right?" I ask her softly before I mentally slap myself in the forehead. I take the spoon she obtains from the drawer and start stabbing the frozen layers of strawberry ice cream. "So are we going to have a we hate men night?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 4, 2009 5:33:02 GMT
I grimace slightly, realizing she has quite a point and could easily have made the comment more specific than that.
"Well, I can't really say that I do; it was as much my fault as his...." I shrug. "But... sure, I suppose."
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 4, 2009 5:35:29 GMT
"Sorry I mentioned it... just it makes me wonder why he doesn't want me you know? I know it's stupid but it still hurts." I say softly with another shrug. "Alright! Movie time!" I say with a faint smile before walking into the living room and sitting in the floor with the ice cream as well.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 4, 2009 5:39:31 GMT
"Yeah, I hear you there...." I murmur, then shrug and laugh very faintly while I follow her into the living room. "Are you following some sort of instruction book for this?"
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 4, 2009 5:42:02 GMT
"Damn... that obvious huh?" I say sarcastically with a faint laugh as well as I look around a bit. "What girly movies do you have, if you have some that is?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 4, 2009 16:06:49 GMT
"Ah... well, I hate to break it to you, but I actually don't even have a television." I look around the room a moment as if to confirm this for myself, then nod.
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 6, 2009 4:18:29 GMT
"Really... wow. I never noticed..." I say glancing around before turning a bright pink. "So um, what should we do? My "I hate men'' pamphlet doesn't cover this."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 6, 2009 4:29:55 GMT
"Well, it's not as though you've been here much...." I laugh faintly. "And... I don't know, really." I shrug a bit awkwardly, glancing around. I'm not even really certain what's going on here.
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Post by Shelby Crescent on Mar 6, 2009 4:34:22 GMT
"That's true... I usually don't come and raid your fridge for ice cream." I say with a faint laugh before standing up with the ice cream container still in my hands. "Well... do you think you could ask Fitzy why he's a stupid boy and doesn't love me?'
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Post by Arden Patricks on Mar 6, 2009 4:38:09 GMT
"Shelby...." I half sigh, half-laugh, shaking my head. "... No, I'm afraid that I can't go and ask my brother why he's a stupid boy and doesn't love you. I can tell you I'm not sure if he loves anyone...." Kind of like Logan. "... but I really can't ask him that."
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))