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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 25, 2009 4:05:00 GMT
I wasn't exactly positive why I was showing up here today. I was pretty sure that Arden wasn't going to want to see me.. not to mention if Logan was here. He definitely wouldn't be wanting to be seeing my face.. here.
I think I just wanted to see how she was doing and make sure that she was okay. It hadn't been too long of a time since the whole.. incident... and well.. I don't really know if there's anything I can add to that actually. Should I be the one that's being checked on?
Oh well though.. it didn't matter because now I was here and I had already knocked lightly on the door with absolutely no clue what to say to her.
Hi.. Yes, I think I do still love you, but I already know that you chose Logan and I actually went on a date the other day. I didn't really want to say that.
I sighed and just shook my head to myself. I should just leave before she comes to the door. |
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 25, 2009 5:02:04 GMT
You're imagining that. I tell myself firmly for the third time today, as a wave of nausea/dizziness hits.
Obviously, I'm not imagining the nausea itself, but I am imagining the significance. Definitely imagining the significance, so much so that... well, what significance? It's all in my head, right?
You're good at self-delusion, so of course you're imagining that, the thought continues unbidden, before I shake my head to chase it out... and then say a quick, silent thank you to the ceiling when I hear the soft knock at the door - I guess I've gotten over my dislike of visitors, at least as long as they're a distraction from excessive imagination.
On the other hand, I wasn't expecting Riley, whether or not he is the most frequent person to knock. I still haven't spoken to him at all since the last time he was here... when I sort of messed with his head... using him, really... while implying that I might change my mind about being with Logan rather than him. Hm... would appear that didn't happen.
So my eyes find the ground almost immediately while I give a surprised sort of cough. "Ah... hi. Hello. How've you been?"
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 25, 2009 5:08:51 GMT
I was just about to turn around and walk back home when the door opened. I stopped and looked up to see Arden standing in the door way, more than likely showing a look that was surpised that I was here. At least it wasn't Logan. And I was hoping that he was still gone and now here... or at least not here at this very moment.
"Hi.." I said after a moment, shovin my hands in my pockets and looking up to him as she looked down to the ground. "I've been okay.. How've you been?" I asked after a short moment, finding this slightly awkward, wishing that I didn't.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 25, 2009 5:21:07 GMT
"Ah... fine," I say quickly. Other than thinking I'm - "Ah...." I say again, shaking my head just to drown out my thoughts. "Ah, would you like to come in?"
I'm a little hesitant here, of course, after what happened last time. First off, I doubt Logan would be terribly thrilled if he came home and Riley was here right now. And second - equally important - I'm really not that sure that Riley even wants to come in. Wouldn't blame him.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 25, 2009 5:24:46 GMT
I nodded faintly, biting my lip slightly now because I guess I was right earlier and I should've just walked away instead of knocking on the door.
"I, um.. If Logan's not here?" I asked as I answered, glancing in the house behind her for a split moment before looking back to her.
It definitely wouldn't be good if Logan came home and I was here... But then again, even if we were outside, I would still be here. So maybe it didn't matter?
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 25, 2009 5:52:50 GMT
"No, he's not." I shake my head, then bite my lip and look at the ground again. And there's something very wrong with that, if he can't be here because, what? I might get caught talking to him? Thanks to me and my stupidity, yes.
"Um... but maybe I should just step out here anyway," I say after a moment, pulling down my sleeves and doing just that.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 25, 2009 5:56:08 GMT
I nodded faintly, looking away for a moment when she said that we should maybe just stay outside instead. But I guess it doesn't matter.. besides the point that it's quite cold out here. "Probably a good idea, actually." I said eventually with another faint nod. "I guess Logan wouldn't really want me here in the first place.."
I shrugged faintly before stepping back a bit, waiting for her to come outside. "You sure you don't want another jacket or something?" I asked a moment later. "Pretty cold out here.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 25, 2009 23:44:04 GMT
"No, probably not," I shake my head again. Not that I'm going to be that stupid again... hopefully. And that's the part that makes me inwardly wince, because I guess it's pretty obvious now that it's the case, and I really didn't mean to mess with his head like that.
"And no, I'm fine," I add, crossing my arms a little tightyer, but really otherwise fine. It's nicer than it's been, at least, even if he's right and it is still cold.
"Um... so how have you been?" I ask after a moment, forgetting whether I've already asked or not.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 25, 2009 23:54:25 GMT
Not that anything was going to happen again.. I need to get over her well, to be honest, kissing her doesn't help. I shouldn't even be here. This is probably just making the whole situation worse off.
I nodded faintly. "Okay.. If you're sure.." I said biting my lip for a second, mainly because I really think that she should be wearing something a bit warmer than a long sleeve shirt in this weather.
I shrugged, feeling like I answered that already, but not really being to sure if I did or not. "I've been alright." I said with a faint nod. ".. I think we've done this bit already though.." I add after a moment with a faint smile and chuckle.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 25, 2009 23:57:09 GMT
"Well, I was probably distracted the first time so...." I shrug, laughing slightly, but only for a moment before I bite my lip again. "Are you sure you're all right? Even though I... messed you about and all?"
There, that's good. Just come right out and say it, instead of tiptoeing.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 26, 2009 0:06:50 GMT
"Right.. That's understandable." I said with a small smile and nod. "I'm guessing you weren't really expecting to see me standing here.." I added with a faint shrug.
She asked if I was alright again and I nodded a little bit. "For the most part.. Yeah, I'm alright." I said again with a small nod. ".. Actually went out the other night." I said as I pushed a bit of hair out of my face. Though after I said that, I wasn't sure if she was going to get the complete picture. I went out, yes, with another girl. Not something I usually do... ever.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 1:59:11 GMT
"Not especially, no," I shake my head. "Kind of would've thought... you wouldn't want to come by here for at least a little while. But hey, that's good then," I add, smiling slightly even as I half-wonder if he means really went out, as in on a date.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 2:12:35 GMT
I nodded faintly, putting my hands back in my pockets with a faint shrug. "I would think the same thing.." I admitted with a faint shrug and half smile. "But um.. I dunno, just wanted to see you, I guess.. See how everything was going.."
I didn't know if she knew what I meant by going out. Probably not seeing as how general what I said was... but maybe? Anyway, I was thinking of clarifying, but maybe I wouldn't unless she said something else about it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 2:25:40 GMT
"It's... fine," I shrug, wishing I could go into more detail and really just talk... but then why would he want to hear it? "So... you're all right witrh the fact that I damn near deliberately messed with your head?" I ask after a moment, partly just to be saying something and partly because he really should be angry with me, I'd think.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 2:29:42 GMT
She hesitated and I frowned slightly as she shrugged. I was going to ask if she was positive that she was okay.. but if she didn't say something, she probably didn't want to talk about it. And well, why make her mad by pushing it? Even though I really would like to know.
I looked back up to her and shrugged faintly. "I, um.. yeah." I said after a moment with a faint nod. "Not gonna lie and say that I'm not a bit upset by it.. but you were confused.. And I'll be fine." I added shaking my head faintly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 2:32:50 GMT
"Confused, yes, there's a good word," I mutter with self-directed bitterness, shaking my head. "I'm so sorry, you know."
I wonder if it would be better or worse to tell him how close I came to picking him. Probably best to just keep silent.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 2:37:14 GMT
"Well, actually, I don't know if it was confusion." I said shaking my head faintly, "So whatever it was.. it doesn't matter." I added, closing my eyes for a split second, letting out a small breath.
I nodded faintly at her apology, "I know.. and really.. it's okay." I paused again and shrugged faintly. "You love him more.. you should be with him." Then thinking that if he ended up doing anything to her, I was going to regret saying that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 18:16:26 GMT
"... Yeah," I agree with him after a moment, sighing slightly and shaking my head. "You deserve someone who really properly loves you anyway, not some fickle idiot." I smile faintly.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 18:19:44 GMT
I shrugged faintly, "You're not an idiot." I said after a moment, shaking my head a little bit. Actually, I don't even know if Riyann ever really properly loved me.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 18:22:31 GMT
I shrug at that, not really wating to argue but hardly going to agree.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 18:28:20 GMT
"You're not though." I added again, shaking my head faintly when she didn't say anything. "Why do you think you are?"
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 18:32:33 GMT
"Mostly... because 'fickle' doesn't seem strong enough a word." i shrug slightly. "I don't know. But I really don't think evidence of my intelligence is all that easy to find, honestly."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 18:37:34 GMT
I sighed slightly, "Fickle isn't the same as idiot though.." I said shaking my head faintly. "It's not with me either."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 18:42:57 GMT
I grimace slightly, but sadly enough see that he might have a point about being kind of an idiot himself. Not really an idiot, but at least a bit of one.
"Well... true." I shrug. "But maybe we should just stop talking about this."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 18:49:51 GMT
I nodded faintly, glad she didn't argue with that. Because I definitely was at least a bit of one.
I nodded again. "Yeah.. something else.." I said with a faint nod. I thought about bringing up the date.. but I didn't know exactly how to fit that into the conversation.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 18:51:26 GMT
"Mm," I agree, then pause. "So... you said you went out," I offer after a moment, leaving it open and not really even a question.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 18:58:32 GMT
I nodded faintly, glad that she just said something about it instead of me having to figure out how to say it.. if I even should say anything about it. "Yeah, met someone the other day.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 19:03:07 GMT
"Well, hey, that's good." I smile slightly. I think I said almost exactly the same thing when he first mentioned it... accompanied by the same foolish, unfair, really only mild jealousy. Or something. I can't be really certain what it is.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 28, 2009 19:07:36 GMT
I smiled a little bit and nodded. "Yeah.. she's nice.." said with with a small smile. "I had a pretty good time." Great, I thought I had more to say about that... Because I'm definitely not going to tell her that I thought about her when I kissed Charlotte.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 28, 2009 19:09:43 GMT
"Good," I say again, smiling faintly. "Like I said, you deserve someone."
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