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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 20:01:50 GMT
"And I'm the one that let you... and I'm the one who shouldn't," I mutter, looking away. I'm the one who's a fickle whore messing with both of your heads.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 17, 2009 20:05:38 GMT
She had a point there, she did let me.. and she did kiss me back, but really, I think the majority of this was my fault. "Yeah but.. I won't say it's completely my fault, but I think most of is. I knew that I shouldn't've kissed you, but I did it anyway."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 17, 2009 20:17:03 GMT
"This was just stupid on both our parts," I conclude, shaking my head. "I... I'm sorry."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 17, 2009 20:19:19 GMT
I looked down on the floor. So much for that small bit of hope that maybe she'd changed her mind about Logan and me. ".. S'okay." I said eventually, shaking my head faintly. It was now that I think that maybe I should leave. "Um.. Maybe Logan shouldn't know about this.." I said a moment later, biting my lip a little bit.
I thought about going over to get my coat and leaving, but I wasn't sure I really wanted to leave her alone.. not that I didn't trust her at all, but I don't how what she's feeling right now and I don't want her to do something stupid. At least stupider than what I just did.. even though it felt incredible.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 3:23:34 GMT
"Right...." I nod, looking down at the floor. "Because this is the sort of thing you lie about to people you care about, right?"
I don't think I'm being sarcastic, but it's not... non-sarcastic either. I don't really know what it is.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 3:24:54 GMT
"Normally, I would say the same thing." I said with a small shake of my head. "But I gotta admit that I don't really feel like dying this week."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 3:31:04 GMT
"Good point," I mutter, nodding. I'd like to be able to say that he wouldn't actually, literally kill him... but I really can't. "God, this was stupid."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 3:34:38 GMT
"Yeah.. was pretty stupid, I guess." I said quietly, glancing up to her before going over to the chair I was in before and sitting down, leaning forward slightly with my elbows on my knees and letting out a sigh. I wished it wasn't stupid but I also wished that this never happened because I thought I was getting over her and I clearly wasn't.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 3:44:25 GMT
Incredibly... though, on the other hand, I guess it makes it clear that I was being an idiot to think, just like that, I can go back to seeing Riley as a brother.
"I'm sorry," I say again after a moment. "Leading you on again, and all."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 3:47:21 GMT
I shook my head after a moment looking up to her again. "It's alright.." I guess. "Just made me realize I have more getting over to do." I said biting my lip faintly for a moment before letting it go and shrugging faintly.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 3:58:37 GMT
Dammit. I exhale faintly, eyes closed. There you go again, Arden. Making a mess of people's lives.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:01:01 GMT
I shrugged faintly, "I'm sure I would've realized it anyway." I added when she didn't say anything and I just saw her close her eyes. "Doesn't matter."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:03:06 GMT
"You didn't have to realize it after... after I kissed you again," I say eventually. "I'm sure that's not a help."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:05:18 GMT
"Completely worth it." I said after a moment with a faint chuckle. "Better way than any.." I added, a small sigh following it.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:09:40 GMT
I grimace slightly, not really sure what to say to that..,. or to the sad, sick, and unbelievably irritating part of my head that wants to do it again. I really do need a lobotomy.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:11:26 GMT
I see her expression and shook my head faintly, "Forget I said that.." I told her quietly, pushing some hair from my face.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:18:58 GMT
"No, I... don't think I quite will." I shake my head again, turning in a meandering sort of circle to try and... reorient myself, I guess because I think I'm slightly lost right now.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:21:45 GMT
"You just looked.. uncomfortable or something." I muttered, glancing to her for a moment, finding it easier at the moment to not look at her becuase I did want to kiss her again and I knew I couldn't.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:25:57 GMT
"No... not...." I take a deep breath, shaking my head. "I wish you hadn't said it, because I wish you wouldn't... feel that way, I guess."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:29:51 GMT
"Oh." I said a moment after she said that. "Alright.."
I paused for another moment. "You're sure you.. You're sure you'd rather be with him?" I asked a bit later, pretty sure I already knew the answer to that.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:32:54 GMT
"... Honestly I don't even know right now." I laugh slightly, shaking my head. "I don't know. Because I know what everyone I know would probably say if I asked for advice, and... they'd probably be right. But, on the other hand... I don't know."
Gee, that's not going to help confuse the guy or anything.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:35:52 GMT
I nodded, smiling faintly for a moment at her laugh. "Okay.." I said, biting my lip a little bit for another moment. I wished that she knew for sure though, because now that she's said that, there's no way I'm even going to try to move on anymore than I already have. Cos with my luck.. she'll change her mind and I will have already closed the book.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:38:33 GMT
"God... sorry," I say after a moment, shaking my head again. "I don't mean to... mess with your head or anything."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:40:01 GMT
"No," I said shaking my head faintly, looking back up to her again. "It's not your fault. It's okay."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:41:56 GMT
I open my mouth to protest, then just shake my head. "I should just shut up."
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:43:59 GMT
I let out a small chuckle and sigh and just shook my head. "You're not making it worse or anything." I said, shrugging slightly.
"Can I just ask though... You did want to kiss me, right?" I asked looking back up to her again.
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:50:38 GMT
I look up, surprised. "Yeah, of -" No. Do not finish that sentence.
I shake my head again, eyes closed. And not to contradict you o anything, but I think I probably am making things worse.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:53:37 GMT
I caught her expression when she looked up and nodded faintly when she didn't finish her sentence. She already basically answered though, so I didn't see the point in her stopping.
"Honestly Arden, you're not making worse.." I said shaking my head faintly. "You're just helping me figure a few things out.."
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Post by Arden Patricks on Jan 18, 2009 4:55:57 GMT
"Such as?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. Would be nice then if you'd return the favor, I add, unfairly.
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Post by Riley Pearson on Jan 18, 2009 4:57:57 GMT
"You're probably not going to want to hear this.." I muttered slightly, looking to the floor for a moment debating whether or not to say it. ".. I just, I don't know, helping me decide how long I should wait before I try to move on." I explained, turning my eyes back on her with a faint shrug of my shoulders.
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