apathy

[Arden Patricks]

I shrug slightly when he pulls back, taking hold of his hand - yet another really weird thing - and leading him back to the living room befoe turning to kiss him again.

[Logan Andrews]

That's also a really weird thing, but I try and pretend that I haven't really noticed her taking my hand at all and that it's completely normal. And of course, kissing her when she turns back to me.

[Arden Patricks]

((... I'm thinking they ought to start kissing on the couch or chair or something but I can't figure out how to write it, and also this is really kind of boring/weird so do you want to just skip?))

[Logan Andrews]

(yup...let's definitely skip because this is rather tedious and repetitive and i can't think of anything.)

[Arden Patricks]

((Got it... But skip to when/what?))

[Logan Andrews]

(uhm... i don't know?)

[Arden Patricks]

((Um... I don't think Arden would sleep with him yet. So we say they were all kissykissy for a bit and fell asleep and now it's the next day and all weird? I dunno.))

[Logan Andrews]

(lol, alright, suits me. you can post first though, cos...it's weird.)

[Arden Patricks]

((Rightio then. *salutes*))

Temporary insanity, Arden. That's all it was, I think to myself reassuringly, ostensibly reading the newspaper spread out on the kitchen table in front of me but really seeing a word of it. I woke up on the couch this morning with Logan, feeling kind of like I must've swapped consciousnesses with someone else. It's all very strange and I feel kind of like avoiding him because I'm sure it was temporary insanity and all very awkward, especially since I'm half-aware that I really don't want it to have been temporary insanity.

[Logan Andrews]

( ;D )

I'm sort of wondering why this hasn't gone away yet.
I sort of assumed that the spontaneous and prolonged intimate spell yesterday was just some random lust thing, something that stems from not having touched another person let alone kissed a woman for a long time and then her...being there.
But I woke up with Arden this morning - in a completely innocent way, which has never happened before - and it's still not gone away, because there's still a vague lingering 'I wouldn't mind doing that again' feeling.
And I think that I should at least maybe go and talk to her, and try and work it out, although it'll just end with getting it all more mixed up most likely because talking to her has only ever confused me.
I maintain this intention as I head idly through from the living room towards the kitchen, and then decide it's probably a bad idea only after I'm already there, instead saying quite lamely, "Uh...good morning, I guess."

[Arden Patricks]

Right. That's the end of that then, I think, referring to the pretending to read.
"Hey," I nod, not looking at him. Sort of like the way I wouldn't look at him when we were younger and I knew that I had every right to be furious but that i would melt away if I looked at him so therefore I had to be childish.
Except now I'm not looking 'cause I'm somehow pretty sure that if I do, I'll get irrevocable proof that it's not just temporary insanity, at least on my part. Bound to be on his though, so there's no way I'm looking when looking will just reconfirm I'm really an idiot.

[Logan Andrews]

"Something interesting happen?" I half-nod towards the newspaper, although she's not looking at me.
I lean awkwardly back against the wall, still watching her because it's bugging me that she won't look my way because I find it hard to try and figure her out anyway, let alone when she's refusing to look at me.

[Arden Patricks]

I shrug, looking down at the paper like I've never seen it before because really I haven't, and then shrug again. "Some idiot robbed a convenience store while still wearing his name tag from work."
I'm not really sure if that qualifies as interesting, but I felt like I ought to say something before folding up the paper again and pushing it away to rest my forehead in my hands. "So how are you this morning?"

[Logan Andrews]

"Huh," I reply with a shrug, because that doesn't sound particularly interesting at all and definitely does not merit the degree of attention she's paying the newspaper.
So she's definitely going to lengths to ignore me, which probably isn't a good sign, and sort of indicates a definite sense of regret about...this.
"Ah, fairly...alright. How are you?"

[Arden Patricks]

Damn. Now he's asked a question I really have to think about.
"Um... all right as well." I nod, then shrug for lack of anything to say.

[Logan Andrews]

"Are you sure?" I ask after a moment, shrugging again to lessen the significance of the question.
She doesn't seem that alright to me, and it's still bugging me that she's not looking at me.

[Arden Patricks]

I pause just a minute, finding it mildly odd that he'd press it, and glancing briefly at him but regretting it 'cause I was right. Either it wasn't insanity or I'm still crazy.
"More or less," I shrug. "Why? Are you really all right?"

[Logan Andrews]

"I'm fine," I answer, "Just you were...avoiding looking at me, sort of..."
It sounds a bit stupid like that, but a few seconds ago that was cause for concern so I don't suppose it matters.
And also I don't know if she's noticed but yesterday everything sort of changed massively and it hasn't gone back to normal yet, which is also quite concerning.

[Arden Patricks]

"Hm." I nod almost as if I hadn't noticed. Oh... right. Guess I wasn't. Can't imagine why.
But this is ridiculous.
"I'm just a little angry at myself, I guess." I shrug slightly, finally properly looking at him. "I've been a bit of an idiot, in case you hadn't noticed."

[Logan Andrews]

I really don't know what to say to that, because if she's been an idiot then I've been an idiot and yesterday was all stupid, but I can't really agree if I still feel that way.
So I just say without real infliction, "Mhm."

[Arden Patricks]

I think I should take that as agreement, but I'm not really sure. Actually, now that I think about it, what the hell was going through his head yesterday? He kissed me first.
And he also just got out of prison. That's probably it.
But then on the other hand why was he being all... gentlemanly, for lack of any better word?
Now I'm just really confused, and frowning at him and really not sure what the hell is going on.

[Logan Andrews]

I raise an eyebrow, because once again I don't know what's going on, and I wish I could tell by her expression or something but I'm not all that perceptive anymore.
"Uh...yes?" I prompt, when she's still frowning at me and not saying anything.

[Arden Patricks]

"Just... trying to figure out who you are now," I say, still frowning at him puzzledly and shaking my head. "I mean, you're not the Logan I knew, so I really don't know what to expect from you anymore."

[Logan Andrews]

Yeah, and how do you think I feel?
I don't know what to expect from me either, or who I am really. My main personality trait has been psychotic for a long time and now it's gone and now I'm this, to compensate. Whoever this is.
"No," I agree half-heartedly, shrugging slightly, "Sorry about that, I guess."

[Arden Patricks]

"Well, I can't really say I miss the old you," I shrug, meaning I guess that he shouldn't be sorry. "Do you?"

[Logan Andrews]

I shrug, glancing away again.
I miss things being easy, but I can't really explain that to her, no matter how easy it is for me to come to the conclusion.
Plus that doesn't seem really important right now anyway and I don't want to talk about it.

[Arden Patricks]

I sigh just a little when he doesn't answer, shaking my head and looking away also. Never mind then....

[Logan Andrews]

And you've killed that one.
I suppose I did sort of kill that conversation, but we weren't really talking about much anyway. Or I suppose we were, I don't know.

[Arden Patricks]

"I do wish that part had changed," I mention after a moment of deciding that the countertop isn't that fascinating. "The part where you never bloody say anything, that is."

[Logan Andrews]

"You could say something," I suggest with a shrug, glancing back up at her again.
She probably says more and keeps conversations going better than I do, but I can't help that.