misplaced

[Fitzy Patricks]

I really shouldn’t give a damn that I misplaced – literally, not just being clever by using a synonym for plain old ‘lost’ – my daughter. I never wanted her in the first place, and even the part of me that cares about her well-being and happiness – not that babies feel happiness, but in the future – should be satisfied that she’s probably a lot better off. Just about anywhere is better than being with me or her mother, and even Arden has her share of drawbacks, like being a fickle and volatile idiot who weirdly sometimes has about as much emotional knowledge as I do.

… But anyway. I should be fine with it, anyway… even with the doubts. Even with the chance that I left her somewhere worse than where she was. It’s a very small chance, I’m sure, tat she’s wound up with some psycho. The odds don’t really favor it. So why in the hell does it scare – bother – me so much?

She’s a lot better off, she’s a lot better off….

Fuck it, I don’t care. I’ve been trying to convince myself of that for weeks now. And it just isn’t working. If I find her and determine that she is better off, of course, I’ll leave her where she is. If I find her and decide that she isn’t, I’ll take her and leave her somewhere else. Probably somewhere I can have a degree of control, the ability to do the same thing all over again if I ever decide that she’s not better off anymore.

But first, I have to find her. And as much as I’m not looking forward to the reaction when she finds out what I did with my kid, there’s only one person I can really think of who will really be of help. So I take a deep breath and knock a few times on Shelby’s door. At least I’m pretty sure it’s Shelby’s door, much as I’ve just realized that I’ve never been here in my life.

[Shelby Crescent]

"I'm coming, I'm coming..." Shell calls as she had on her robe. She was giving the younger kids a bath and as usual, they weren't thrilled; usually not to the point where they would knock her into the tub with them. James and Liese thought it was rather funny as Shell hurried a robe on over her soaked clothes and hair.

"You look funny mum." Liese chimes, causing Shell to roll her eyes and open the door. "Oh, Fitzy. I haven't seen you for a while. Are you okay?" she asks as a frown automatically traces itself onto her face. Liese peers behind Shell's calf with James behind the other, both eyeing Fitzy warily.

[Fitzy Patricks]

Definitely got the right place then, I think, taking an automatic step back and eying the two small children anyway... though I can manage a very small, probably not-genuine-looking smile at the little boy since I recognize.

"... Fine," I say in answer to her question, tearing my eyes away from the kids. "Though I doubt I will be when you find out why I'm here." Because you're going to kill me, bring me back from the dead so that Arden has a turn, and probably do it again just for the hell of it. Or she'll just react the way she did when I said I'd killed someone - mild disappointment. You can really never tell with Shell.

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell sighs slightly, her first thought going right to the war and with the deatheaters. "So, explain why you're here then." she says with a frown as Liese and James walk into the kitchen. "You haven't done something that's going to make me mad did you?" she asked as she sat down onto the couch, her arms crossed over her chest."

[[ sorry, I don't know what to say. =/ ]]

[Fitzy Patricks]

I hesitate slightly before following her into the house and closing the door behind me, because I really do think I've fucked up a bit and may want an escape route.

"Well... that depends," I shrug, taking a deep breath and staying on my feet once we're in the living room. "I can never really tell with you, what will piss you off, but how about if I say I left with my daughter with some total stranger and now I've no idea where she is?"

((Is fine. And how are you today?))

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell keeps her arms crossed just listening to him for a while, until she heard his last sentence. "You what! You left Melody with a complete stranger? Why!" she almost yells at him. If she was standing up, Shell was pretty sure she would have already slapped him across his face. "You could have left her with me, but instead you decide to leave her with a stranger. Do you ever think?"

(( I guess that's my punishment for not being on as much. But I'm fine, but I'm a little tired from my first college party last night... ))

[Fitzy Patricks]

I have to admit that my first coherent thought, even as I'm wincing slightly, is that I was right for once.
And also, she is wrong... sort of. At least to an extent.
"Well, no, apparently I don't," I say, a bit more acerbic than I've really got a right to be. "But of course I thought of you, you were my second choice. But I needed to abandon her to keep her out of... that potential new war we almost had. So obviously you wouldn't've worked."

[Shelby Crescent]

"Second choice? I haven't even been to an order meeting Fitzy. I'm not taking part in this war nor have I gone to a deatheater's meeting. I think you should get your facts right." she says keeping her arms crossed over her chest. "So you just came over here to tell me that you abandoned your only child with a complete stranger?"

[Fitzy Patricks]

"Well, that and to see if you'd possibly help me find her again," I shrug, before fully taking in what else she's said. "... Wait. You haven't been involved this time around?"
It's a little unreasonable, I realize, to say that as if I'm annoyed with her for it... but since when am I ever reasonable?

[Shelby Crescent]

"I'm not going to do it to help you, I'm only helping cause I care for Melody. You're lucky that I won't call the authorities for this..." she says almost yelling again at him. "No I haven't. I don't see the point when a few deatheaters ''plan'' on starting a war. It's too farfetch'd to be true."

[Fitzy Patricks]

"And seems to have already fallen apart anyway, so thank the devil for that," I shrug, then shake my head. "Helping her, helping me. Same thing. But if it turns out she is someplace awful, want to keep her?"
I doubt that a question like this is going to win me any favors, but I don't care. I want what's best for my unwanted daughter, and then I'll go back to hermitage.

[Shelby Crescent]

"K-keep her? She's your daughter Fitzy. Do you honestly not care abut her at all?" she asks frowning a bit before rolling her eyes at him. "I'm helping her, not you."

[Fitzy Patricks]

"Enough to want her with someone decent instead of me," I shrug. "I mean, obviously I'm not cut out to be a parent, if the first time I'm not sure what to do I wind up leaving her with some stranger, right? So I'm either going to leave her where she is... whenever I find it out... or I'll take her from there and leave her somewhere better. But there's no way in hell I'm going to keep her because it doesn't make any sense to."

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell sighs a bit, putting her hand through her curls. "Fine Fitzy, I'll take her. Wanted another kid anyway to be honest." she says softly before sighing briefly again. "As long as you come visit her on the weekends and you tell me as much as you can about her." she says with a nod before frowning a bit. "So do you want to go find her now or were you just telling me that she's disappeared?"

[Fitzy Patricks]

"That won't be a lot," I warn her, laughing humorlessly. I really don't know much about my kid... though part of that is 'cause there isn't very much to know about infants in general. It's not like she has a favorite color yet. Then I shrug. "No time like the present, if you have any clue where to start."

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell sighs lightly before crossing her arms again. "I guess I could take her Fitzy. Let's just go find her now. Do you remember what the stranger looked like that you gave Melody to?"

[Fitzy Patricks]

"Pathetically, no," I say, shaking my head. "I barely remember doing it at all... just that I was sick of having her around and I couldn't find Lacey."

[Shelby Crescent]

"Sick of having her around..." Shell repeats slowly before laughing out of frustration. She was so tempted to slap him across the face. "So you just pass her along to some random person. Very logical Fitzy."

[Fitzy Patricks]

"Look, I know it doesn't sound good, all right?" I say, closing my eyes in frustration. "I really intended to at least abandon her with someone I knew... but after running into Riyann, I just wanted her gone because if she'd been gone before I ran into Riyan then I'd not have spent the last... I don't even know how many weeks thinking that I was a deatheater again."

[Shelby Crescent]

"Riyann? What did she do that made you make that drastic of a decision?" she asks frowning slightly as she felt her arms fall to her sides.

[Fitzy Patricks]

I hesitate slightly, then give a brief laugh because I don't know why I'm hesitating. Maybe because it sounds so ridiculously dramatic?
"She told me she'd kill Melody if I didn't agree to join up again."
And I half-wished she had for a while, but I doubt I should mention that. besides, I don't anymore.

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell sighs a little, putting a hand through her hair. "But how can your mind process the solution is to give her away? I just don't get it."

[Fitzy Patricks]

"Neither do I, necessarily." II shrug slightly, looking at the ceiling to think it over before that reminds me of Melody and I'm reminded yet again that I really do hope she's not dead.
"I gave her away because I was resentful. I didn't want to care... I wanted to be able to tell Riyann to go ahead with it and just kill her, that I didn't care. But I couldn't say that and so therefore I was trapped in something I didn't want to be, so therefore it was Melody's fault and I wanted her gone. All right?" I laugh slightly. "Do whatever kind of psychanalysis you want with that. I already know I'm crazy."

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell laughs a little after hearing his whole story before slapping him hard across. "I have no clue why I even... what I even seen in you before..." she says before glaring at him. If looks could kill, Fitzy would most likely be laying in the floor not moving a muscle. "Let's go. Now." she says forcefully before turning back around to face him. "Where did you leave her? Knockturn, Shrieking Shack, Hog's Head?"

[Fitzy Patricks]

I don't even care that she's just slapped me, which is odd. I should at least feel like I deserve it, or be a little pissed, or something. But I couldn't care less. I just look down at the ground a moment while she's glaring at me, then shrug. "Diagon Alley, I think. Lacey likes to hang out somewhere between there and Knockturn, right on the border I guess, so that's where I was."

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell nods lightly before going upstairs. "I'm going to get dressed before we go find her." A few moments later she came down in a pair of jeans and a dark blue hoodie with her curls up in it's classic ribbon. "Alright, let's apparate to Diagon Alley then."

[Fitzy Patricks]

I nod without speaking, then glance toward... wherever the small ones ran off to earlier. "You're not abandoning your lot at the moment, are you?"

[Shelby Crescent]

"Jenny and Ashlyn are here, so it's fine." she says with a nod before slidding on her coat before taking his hands. "Apparate where you were on Diagon Alley."

[Fitzy Patricks]

"All right then...." I shrug, apparating us both to approximately where I think I might've been. I'm not really sure how specific/accurate I am, but we're certainly on a street. A very slightly creepy-looking street. So it's likely close enough.

[Shelby Crescent]

Shell glances around a little, wincing slightly. "Where are we?" she asks looking around still before looking back up at him with confusion written all over her face.