Empty;; Arden

[Riley Pearson]

My left ring finger felt strange, empty. After so long of having that ring on.. it was weird to have it off. I guess it was only a matter of time before something happend that ended it. Maybe I should've realised years ago that we shouldn't've stayed together. Maybe that way Lilian would still be alive and the kids, my parents, Jonathan her fiancee and I wouldn't have to deal with this right now.
I'm staying with my parents for the time being. The kids and I that is. Which is why I could leave by myself and come here. I felt bad leaving them with my mum and dad, but I needed to get out, if only for a bit. So I thought, what better place to go than to Arden's? Actually.. Was there really anywhere else I could go? I couldn't really think of another place I would rather be right now.
I walked up to her front door. I didn't even know if she was even home, but I hoped that she was.. If she wasn't maybe I would just go back home..
I knocked on the door, sure of the fact that I looked horrible. It's been a rough week and I haven't been getting much sleep and I'd been crying a majority of the time. Not really something that I liked to admit, but it was true. I think that it's allowed considering what's just happend.
I crossed my arms infront of me, feeling my eyes burn slightly as I stood there. Maybe I should just turn around. A bit late to think that now though I guess considering I already knocked. So thinking that I just stayed where I was, waiting to see if Arden would come to the door, not too sure what I was going to do when she did, but I hadn't really thought this through all that much.

[Arden Patricks]

Hm…. I think slowly, tilting my head to the side so that I can see the ceiling from a different angle, and then promptly losing track of whatever it is I’m supposedly looking at. Maybe it’s time to get back up then.

I’ve been lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling for almost an hour now, after a half-crazed cleaning session that’s left my bedroom in a shambles ‘cause I’m only half done. I knew when I started that I’d never finish it today, but at the time that didn’t matter. I just needed something, anything to distract me from my worries, and I haven’t yet stopped by the library to see if I can have my old job back. So I’ve had a lot of time on my hands these past two weeks.

I did finally go to see Lilith, of course, and then attempt to see Fitzy… hence the worry. Apparently during my absence he became strangely social, up until a month or so ago when he neglected to show up at a planned family get-together, and according to Lilith she hasn’t seen him since. A quick investigation of his house revealed that he’d changed all the locks, and also didn’t seem to have been there for at least a couple of days, even though none of his things were missing – just Melody’s.

Not that it’s helpful in the slightest to go through this over and over again…. I think, getting up and heading over to the kitchen with the vaguely formed idea that making some tea will help me not go crazy. Somebody come and distract me, please, I find myself begging the ceiling. Honestly… I don’t care who it is or why they’re here, just as long as somebody shows up.

I don’t really expect that anyone will, of course, because hardly anybody ever comes here. So it comes as no surprise when no one does, and I wind up making my tea in peace. Trying not to think about anything worrisome. It’s only when I’m in the middle of pouring the water, already regretting the decision to make it because I don’t think I really want it, that there’s a sudden knock on the door, so startling I nearly knock over my cup.

Be careful what you wish for, Arden, warns a nagging little voice in the back of my head, creating enough apprehension that when I see it’s only Riley, I’m too relieved to pay much attention. “Oh… good. It’s only you.”

((Rambly much? Lol, at least it's posted.))

[Riley Pearson]

[ aw, haha, i don't mind rambly ^^ but i'm sorry this ends up being uber short ]

I stood by the door for a few moments after I knocked on it and eventually I heard footsteps before the door opened in front of me. She actually looked slightly relieved. I wasn't exactly positive why she looked relieved, but I didn't take much time to think about it. Mainly because a few seconds after she spoke, I had already wrapped my arms slightly tightly around her, a few tears already running silently down my cheek.
I wasn't even really thinking about the fact that she probably didn't want to be hugged, it was just one of those days and I didn't think much of anything. But I was thinking about the fact taht I was really happy that she was home because I didn't want to go back home yet.
The only thing going on there was crying and depression coming from everyone in the house more than fifty percent of the day. I knew I probably should have stayed, but I was only leaving for a bit, so hopefully it won't be a problem.

[Arden Patricks]

((Eh, short's all right. ))

Relief is very quickly replaced by alarm as he hugs me... partly because it's startling and partly because I finally catch on to the fact that he's clearly upset. Crying, even. When the hell was the last time I saw Riley really cry? The first thing that comes to mind is an image of him sitting on the floor of a bathroom with a switchblade in hand, and though I'm not sure that's accurate it answers my question.

Riyann... the girls.... Something very bad must have happened, and I hug him back tightly to let him know I'm here, already blinking back a few tears of my own even thiough I don't know what's happened. They're tears of fears and sympathy, anticipatory tears.

[Riley Pearson]

I feel her hug me back tightly and I blink a few times feeling a few more tears fall. I never understood that, but when you hug someone when you're upset or crying, the next thing you know, you're crying more. I didn't really want it to happen but there wasn't much I could do about it.
I took in a deep and slightly shaky breath before letting it out again. She really must be confused. Either confused, or just really wondering what's happend to have me be such a mess. Maybe even both, I really wasn't sure but I didn't know what else to say now.
A few more moments passed and I loosened my hold on her, trying to calm down a little bit. I wiped some tears from my face, feeling absolutely ridiculous that I'm acting like this.

[[ yay ^^ ]]

[Arden Patricks]

I finally step back a bit when he lets go, biting my lip and eying him worriedly, then realizing that we're still standing in the doorway.
"What is it? What the hell happened?" I ask, flicking my handful of tears out of my eyes and at the same time tugging him gently by the hand into the house and shutting the door behind him. Someone's dead, I'm sure of it; I just don't know who.

[Riley Pearson]

I see her eye me worriedly before I follow her into the house after she tugs on my hand. I wiped more tears away from my face after she shuts the door. I didn't want to say it, but I knew that I had to. Why the hell did I come here if I didn't want to talk about it?
That was actually a pretty good question for myself right now.
".. My sister." I said quietly, glancing to her for a second before staring blankly down at the floor, hoping that she was understand and I wouldn't have to explain that she was dead.

[Arden Patricks]

I suck in a breath at that, staring at him, even though I have to admit there's a mild sense of relief that at least it wasn't the girls. I've only met Lillian a handful of times, I guess, and we've never really said much to each other. But, on the other hand, I've always associated her with Lilith, thought of them as similar - the sisters whose nicknames are Lil. And I can't even imagine how I'd feel in that situation.
"How?" I ask eventually, softly, feeling vaguely like this is a nightmare. The war is now over; people don't die. Not of sickness, accidents, anything. Too many died back then for anyone else to die now.

[Riley Pearson]

I wiped some of the tears off my face again and paused for a moment after she asked. I didn't really want to answer and I absentmindedly looked down at my hands, looking at my empty ring finger. I still couldn't really believe that Riyann did it, but she basically admited it to me when I talked to her.. sort of. I knew she did it and that was that.
".. Riyann." I said quietly, looking up to her from my hands, wondering if she would be confused by why I said riyann or understand what happend.

[Arden Patricks]

And now I know that this must be a nightmare… hallucination… something of the sort. Not that we exactly get along anymore, but that hasn’t changed my perception of her.

“Riyann did… why?” I ask, shaking my head helplessly. And of course I know if I think this is a nightmare, it must be so much worse for him. I feel really bad about interrogating him, but I can't help but ask.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded slightly, not sure what to say to that. I didn't know the specific reason why. I just knew that she did it. "I don't know..." I said shaking my head a little bit, wiping a few more tears off my cheeks. ".. something about the war.. I guess she wasn't a spy afterall." I said, slightly surprised that I could get that much information out.
"But I don't understand how she could do that to Lil.." I said quietly, shaking my head and feeling a few more tears fall down my cheek.

[Arden Patricks]

I feel almost like I'm... deflating, I suppose... and I shake my head at the ground. I don't understand it either, not at all, and I almost wish I could talk to Riyann to get her side of things. But I really somehow doubt even I can find a good excuse for her here.
"Do you want to come... sit down?" I ask finally with a light sigh, nodding back over to the kitchen because I don't know what else to do.

[Riley Pearson]

I stared down at the floor sightly blankly, feeling another tear fall down my cheek. I heard her speak again and I nodded a little bit at what she asked. "Yeah.." I said quietly, folding my arms infront of me, against my chest. "Sitting's good."

[Arden Patricks]

I nod, still silent, and lead the way back to the kitchen. I really don't know what to say to him, and again I imagine how I'd feel in a similar situation. If I ever lost Lilith... and particularly if she'd been killed by, say, Travis... I think I'd be feeling rather murderous, really. Not to mention like my heart had been torn out.
I shake my head again, biting my lip. "So how're... how're the girls holding up, and your parents?" I ask finally when we reach the kitchen.

[Riley Pearson]

I start to follow her back to the kitchen when she leads the way, wiping off the side of my cheek as I did.
"Um.. not very well really." I told her after we got to the kitchen. "They're all a mess... parents more so though.. the girls seemed to get a bit better after the first couple of days.." I said with small nod, taking in a breath and letting it out sort of slowly. "They don't know that Riyann did it though.."

[Arden Patricks]

Because that would cause a complex and a half, I think, nodding. I can certainly understand not telling them that. "What about your parents? Do they know?"

[Riley Pearson]

I shook my head. "No.. you're the only one I told." I said kind of quietly, biting my lip a little bit for a second. "I didn't think they could handle something like that.. Maybe they don't have to know.."

[Arden Patricks]

I bite my lip again, thinking about that. No... I guess maybe they don't need to know... though at the same time it feels like they should. I shrug slightly, dumping out the half-prepared tea from before he knocked just to give myself something to do because I can't seem to stand still.
"And how about you?" I ask quietly, looking over at him from the sink. "You all right?"

[Riley Pearson]

I took the question into consideration for a few moments, trying to gage just how I am. I shook my head eventually. "I'm horrible... No more siblings left... the girls're barely talking to me.. I'm getting divorced.." I said quietly, looking at her at first before shifting my eyes to the floor and staring at it again. ".. not good." I added even quieter.

[Arden Patricks]

No... guess not then, I think, slumping into stillness at the kitchen sink, then moving back over to sit next to him and taking his hand as a wordless gesture of support because I'm really awful at knowing what to say in situations like this.
"If there's anything I can do...." I shrug slightly. "Why aren't the girls talking to you?"

[Riley Pearson]

I looked back up to her when she took my hand and shrugged faintly, "Just being here's enough.." I said quietly, glancing to the table for a few moments. ".. Because I left Riyann.." I told her, looking back up at her from where my eyes were. ".. They want their mum." I added with a small shrug.

[Arden Patricks]

I kind of expected him to say that, but I wish I could something more. And I guess I expected the second bit as well, once I thought about it a little. If they knew what she'd done, and that he had plenty of reason, I suppose they'd be more forgiving... but he's hardly going to tell them just for that or for any other reason.
"... I should go talk to them," I say after a moment, shrugging slightly, and squeezing his hand before letting go.

[Riley Pearson]

I shook my head at what she said, "If you talk them, you can't tell them it was Riyann." I told her, feeling her squeeze my hand and let it got before I was done speaking. "They'll come around to me eventually.." Hopefully.. "But I don't think they'd recover from that.. either that, or they won't believe you and take it personally." I explained, looking up to her. I didn't really know if that's what she meant, but I kind of jumped the gun and that was the first thing that I thought of so I said it.

[Arden Patricks]

"No, I wouldn't say that," I assure him, shaking my head. "I just... want to see if I can help at all, see what they're thinking." I shrug slightly, looking down at the table and fidgeting my hands.

[Riley Pearson]

I nodded a little, letting out a small breath of relief after a second. I nodded again at what she said next, barely noticing that I had already nodded. "That'd be alright... I wouldn't mind knowing what they're thinking either.." I told her looking over to her again, seeing her fidgeting with her hands.

[Arden Patricks]

I nod again, biting my lip. "They were worried about this, last time I saw them. Worried that more was going on than you were saying, and that you might split up." I shrug slightly, keeping my eyes on my now-clasped hands

[Riley Pearson]

I looked back up to her hearing what she said, "... Guess they actually had a right to be worried." I said after a moment or two. "... I probably wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know she did it though... so.. I dunno.."
I sighed slightly thinking about it a little longer. "... It was probably long time coming..." Even if I somehow feel like I still love her.. I don't know how though..

[Arden Patricks]

I really don't know what to say to that, because it's one of those lovely situations where neither agreeing nor arguing is the right thing to do.
"Do you honestly know that she did then?" I ask finally... not that I want him to have doubts where he didn't before, because I know how awful that is... but just to make sure, I guess.

[Riley Pearson]

"She basically told me that she did.." I said frowning a bit lookingdown at my handa for a few moments thinking about what she said. "I just don't know why she did i,.. " I said eventually with a small sigh. For all I knew it was a matter of life and death, but I really had no idea.

[Arden Patricks]

Not that there's many excuses that would actually excuse that....
I look down at my hands again, suddenly worried more than ever about what's going on with my brother. If Riyann is killing people... I hope that it's only because she feels that she has to... though, on the other hand, it almost seems like she ought to choose death over giving it to others. But in that case, what the hell is Fitzy up to? And which would I rather hear, that he's helping kill people or already dead himself?